Bruised verse: Bruise Pristine
by BeckaBoo1735
Summary: AU Dean Turner‘s parents died when he was 7, Uncle Ron kindly took him in, training him to hunt. When Dean has to stay at the Winchester’s, Mary and John’s son Sam soon discovers the stranger isnt as lucky to have his uncle as he sounds. Child abuse
1. Ignorance is your new best friend

**Okay, really sorry to my AU Sammy deaf fans, but this came to me and wouldn't leave me alone, I hope you enjoy it my darlings. Never Be the Same is on hold right now, I want to make you guys proud and I don't feel happy with the chapter plan I've done so far, so I 'm waiting for a brain wave when it feels right again. Same goes for my Tommy and Elli fic (if you read that). Hope you understand my lovelies x :D **

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**Bruise Pristine**

**_Summary: AU, Dean Turner's parents died tragically when he was 7, his Uncle Ron kindly took him in and trained him as a hunter. When Dean has to stay at the Winchester's, Mary and John's loving son Sam soon discovers this stranger is not as lucky to have his uncle as he sounds. Child abuse! _**

**_Sam is 9, almost 10._**

**_Dean is 14._**

**_Beta: Bai1007._ love you girl! :D**

**Ignorance is your new best friend**

"Schools out for 2 weeks!!"

"Yeah!" Sam cheered faking excitement.

"Me and my dad are gonna go take a trip round Europe, it's gonna be so cool!" Jordon Smith cheered as Sam tried to nod along. "What are you doing in the holidays?"

"Um...my parents are taking me to Australia," Sam lied trying to make it sound like he wasn't going to spend the spring break bored out of his skull alone in his room with his new play station, not that it was even warm enough to be spring though.

"Cool! So I'll see you after the holidays!!" he said loud and annoying as he ran off to the bus.

"Yeah...see ya," Sam mumbled to himself as he squared his shoulders, adjusted his backpack then set off walking home.

_**SPN**_

"Hey mom, I'm home!" he hollered dropping his bag by the door and walking in the kitchen where he could smell the dinner cooking.

"Hey sweetheart, how was school?" she asked turning round to face her son.

"Fine," was all Sam offered with a shrug.

"Good," she nodded smiling bright then turned back to stir the pasta.

"Where's dad?" the kid asked sitting at the table.

"Work, he's coming home in about 5 minutes...and um, we have another guest joining us for dinner," she rambled out and Sam frowned at how cryptic his mom was being.

"Who?"

"His name is Dean."

"Is he a friend of dads or something?"

"No...he's more on my side."

"He's your friend?" Sam asked still not following.

"He's my distant cousin's son or something like that."

"Why is he here?" Sam asked a little rudely so he mumbled an apology then waited for his mother to carry on.

"His Uncle travels a lot and Dean needed a place to stay, I'm not sure how they got my number but Ron called then sent Dean on a train here, I offered to pick him up but his Uncle insisted he was old enough to make his own way here."

"How old is he?"

"14 if I'm a guessing woman."

"Oh...so he's like...older than me...," Sam never did get along with people older than him, or rather they chose to not get along with him.

"Sam, manners young man," his mom warned again.

"Is he staying here long?" Sam asked dodging his moms looks.

"Not sure yet, his Uncle said he could be a few days on this job or a few weeks, that okay?"

"Yeah...I guess, where's his parents?" Sam asked again feeling the bratty tone his voice was taking.

"They were killed in a robbery," his mom snapped back, ashamed her son was having an attitude problem for the first time in his life.

"Oh...sorry mom..." was all Sam could get out as he looked to the floor feeling awful and embarrassed over his attitude more than Mary clearly was, he loved his parents and he couldn't imagine how he would go on without them around, _'being Dean must suck!'_

"I'm sorry too baby, say, why don't you go say hi, he's in the guest room," his mom told him kindly knowing Sam felt bad enough right now, she didn't mean to spit it out like that, it's just she couldn't imagine how it would be if she and John died leaving Sam all alone in this terrifying world, '_being Dean must suck...poor boy.'_

"Okay," Sam nodded standing from his seat then slowly and nervously walking up the steps biting his nails down on the way.

He reached the end room his old toys were stored then knocked on the door tapping his foot.

The door immediately slung open and it blew Sam's bangs in air before they flopped back down when the gale stopped. He looked up past his hair and was face to face with 'Dean'.

'_Mom never said anything about him being huge!'_

"Um...hi...I'm Sam, it's nice to meet you," he mumbled offering a hand to shake then instantly wonder what the hell he was doing, _'yeah what a cool first impression Sam, he probably thinks you're a freak already, terrific.'_

Sam slipped his hand to hair then dropped it by his side feeling his sweaty palms drip.

Dean never moved, never blinked and for a second Sam wondered if this was a practical joke or this Dean kid putting a wax model in the doorway to scare him, but when Dean's chest moved he knew it was a living breathing person...so to speak.

He was kinda freaky... Dean looked really tall! He had huge broad shoulders, muscles stood out a mile, his dark blonde hair cropped into a super short buzz cut, dark green eyes that looked dead and worn out freckles dotted his nose. Not to mention he had a huge thick scar running down his right cheek to the side of his mouth, Sam could tell whatever made that, probably hurt a lot! But the thing about the stranger that bother Sam the most, despite some of Dean's odd features like his soulless eyes, the guy was super good looking, chiselled jaw, tanned face, and it irritated Sam to think when they get to school, if Dean was around long enough, the guy would be a babe magnet and he would be invisible once again for another year.

"Um...my mom said you were gonna be living here for a while...I got tones of video games so maybe we could play on them together some time...if you want...I mean...by play I wasn't...I'm not gay or anything you know, some kids at school think I am but I'm not...um...yeah so...I'm Sam...um...we're having pasta and my mom's an awesome cook... not that she's nay better than yours...oh crap mom told me she died um...I'm sorry, uh, I'll just go now...bye..." Sam rambled then ran off to his room knowing he just made a complete fool of himself and this Dean kid was probably laughing on the floor in hysterics right now at how lame he was. He groaned in misery and leaped on his bed head first and banged his head in frustration into his pillow.

"Sam! Dean! Dinners ready!" he heard his mom call so he forcefully pulled himself from his pillow and dragged himself down the stairs where both his parents now were.

"Hey Sammy, you have a good day at school kiddo?" his dad asked.

"Yeah, was okay."

"Good, so, you met this Dean kid yet?"

"Yeah...he's totally huge," Sam said low then looked over glaring daggers at his mom.

"You'll beat him there one day kid, so...is this Dean an ass?"

"John!" Mary snapped.

"No...I was kinda the bum...I said stuff about his mom and now I think he doesn't like me," Sam winced hoping he wasn't in trouble, then pulled an ick face as his dad leaned over to kiss his mom on the cheek.

Just then everybody froze when they noticed Dean in the door way, John the first to speak.

"So I take it you're Dean, hey I'm John," he offered a hand like Sam had done earlier and the kid groaned at how lame he did it and how cool his dad seemed to introduce himself.

The kid expected Dean to shake the hand held out but he didn't, he just stood there, a frozen frame once again, and he didn't look all that bothered at how rude he was being, _'everyone and I mean everyone is respectful towards my dad! Or else.' _

"You got a problem with manners kid?"

Dean never made a hint to move.

"Excuse me, in this house when an adult asks a question you answer."

Sam was a little scared of his own dad right now, he has his toes curled up in fear of how loud his dad was gonna yell in a second if Dean didn't answer.

"I'm talking to you son!"

That got a reaction, Dean flinched...almost in fear...Mary and John didn't seem to notice it because Dean smoothed his expression in sight of a milli second but Sam caught the fear Dean was hiding behind his ice cold eyes and wonder what the hell kinda life Dean had...the huge scar on his cheek pretty darn freaky.

"Why don't we all just sit and eat?" Mary said putting a calming hand on her husband's shoulder and to him it felt like a wave washing away a storm.

They all did...correction, Sam sat, Mary sat, then John sat warning Dean as the older kid then pulled out a chair and sat, keeping his cautious eyes on John the entire time.

The Winchesters were eating, Sam was telling his mom how good the food was, and Mary was smiling a thank you, but John and Dean were still having a staring match.

Dean's jaw was tight and he still didn't move to pick up his fork.

"When my wife makes dinner I expect the guest to eat politely," John told him.

After a few minutes, Sam winced a little scared and felt his mom's hand on his knee under the table comforting him a little as they all sat and watched Dean pick up fork then start to eat, again not looking down, keeping his eyes level to John's and Sam was a little amazed at how he could eat without looking at his food.

"So Sam sweetie, what are your plans for this break?" Mary asked trying to lighten the mood and sure enough John took his eyes off the strange kid at his table and joined in on the conversation with his loving family.

_**SPN**_

When he was done, Dean stood not waiting for the others, and just took himself up the stairs hearing the scoff John let out over his rudeness.

'_Who cares, they don't know jack shit about my life...who the hell does 'John' think he is? He ain't no Ron I'll say that, asshole think he can bark orders at me, I'm freakin sick of orders. And what the hell does that Sam kid think he's staring at? Little goody geek, man if I had to live here full time I'd blow my brains out!'_

He walked to his 'room' and closed the door, jammed it with an evergreen steak from his duffel, laid a long salt line over what would be his door and window sill for the next few weeks if he knew Ron, which he did. He then flopped down on his bed and noticed how comfy it was.

"Dinner wasn't bad I guess," I said to himself then turned on his side, kicked off his shoes and got under the covers pushing his hand up to meet his knife he'd unpacked under his pillow first then closed his eyes slightly grateful Mary had good choice in bedding.

_**SPN**_

The next thing he knew there was a knock at the door. He pushed the covers off, kneeled on the floor and pulled out his makeshift door stopper then tossed it under his bed and pulled the door open.

"Hey um...my mom went shopping an um...she told me to give you these," Sam mumbled then put a bag of new clothes on the bed.

Dean didn't even acknowledge Sam, he didn't even seem like he'd seen the clothes.

"Can you um...can you talk?" Sam blurted and instantly regretted it when Dean growled loud at him like he was ready for second round of dinner and Sam was the meal. "Sorry I asked," the kid mumbled then turned and left closing the door behind him leaving Dean in the room completely confused. _'This kid not scared of me?' he_ asked himself then huffed as he jammed the door once again and re-laid his salt line.

He wondered why Mary went shopping and got him clothes and was curious as to what she bought for him. No one had ever bought him anything since his parents passed, Ron always handed down clothes. He looked down unconsciously at his jeans and saw they had huge rips and worn out holes in them, _'guess they don't want me walking round this town looking like a homeless freak then huh?' _

He tipped the bag upside down on the bed then picked up each item carefully and neatly folded them without even looking to see if he liked them. The army OCD Ron had beaten in him took over and soon enough all the clothes where perfectly folded, every crease equal and he measured them all with his eyes to see if he missed anything that was even slightly out. He noticed one pocket of a shirt was a little wonky compared with the other so he straightened it out then folded the collar equally. He piled up all the clothes in the wooden box that was his wardrobe for now and made sure when they were they each item was spaced equally apart on the shelf and shirts were piled on shirts and jeans piled on jeans perfectly.

He didn't even notice anymore he did it, it was just a thing he'd gotten used to over the years of unpacking ever week.

He closed the doors then did another mental check of the room before sitting on the bed once again.

Not feeling sleepy now he got bored quickly, he tapped his foot, contemplated on going out of his room, but soon chose against it, he didn't like that John guy and Sam was just plain annoying, and Mary...well she wasn't that bad, she was just too loving and reminded him too much of his mom to take more than 10 minutes of her smiles at one time, so grumbled and decided on staring at the ceiling till it got dark and he go out of the window to get out, Ron had told he had to search for a hunt while he was there and then when he got back Ron would be testing him on how he killed the thing.

'_Wouldn't surprise me if he tossed me head first at the thing I would hopefully find, then again, even if there's nothing in this town, he'll find a way to make sure I don't leave without a few marks to remember Kansas by.'_

_**TBC...**_

**I hope that was okay x please be nice, I'm really nervous.**


	2. Trying Patience

**_Told you I wouldn't be long! :D please send love! I'm having a suck ass day! :( Cross your toes for me I can go home to see my ma soon x _**

**Trying Patience**

"Dean! Could you come down here for a second please!" Mary yelled from the bottom of the stairs and was presently surprised to hear Dean coming from his room not a second later. "We're going to the grocery store, is there anything you want?" she smiled.

He blinked then shook his head from the top step.

"You sure honey?"

He nodded then turned and walked away back to his room.

"He ask for anything?" John asked his wife as he walked from the kitchen.

"No, I'm worried about him, do you think we should ask him to come? He only ever comes from that room to pee or eat."

"He's just ignorant Mary, we should get going if we wanna beat the traffic."

"I'm coming," she said sighing thinking maybe her husband was right, Dean might just be an unsocial ass.

"Sam you want anything from the store buddy?!" John yelled upstairs.

"No I'm good thanks dad!" was his reply that made him smile.

"See, that's how a polite kid talks."

"Except Dean doesn't talk, that's why I'm worried," Mary stressed as they left the house.

_**SPN**_

"Sammy! Dean! Come down here and help out with the bags!" John yelled when he came back in the house.

Sam was the first down, smiling as he hopped down the stairs then Dean walked down, stomping like an elephant, he looked like he was just disturbed from something important.

"Sam you wanna help your mom at the car," John suggested and the kid nodded then went outside. "Dean you can help me in the kitchen."

The older kid walked to where he was told, looked in the cupboards at what was in what and John was about to yell at him for looking in things before asking but when Dean picked up some bags and took out the things and put them on the appropriate shelves perfectly, John stopped himself.

"You're pretty good at organising, your uncle teach you that?" he asked filling some shelves himself as he made small talk. "He in the force or something?"

Dean made no effort to nod yes or no to the questions, this was his time away from his uncle, he wasn't going to spend it talking to an ass like John about him, it was clear he and his uncle were practically twins.

"Hey Dean, it's nice to see you out of that room sweetheart," Mary said walking with some bags before John could start yelling.

Dean took the bags from both Sam and Mary and started emptying them too making everyone else smirk in surprise.

"Thank you sweetie," Mary praised elbowing John to do the same.

"Yeah thanks," he said fake.

"Um...mom can I go finish my video game, I was just about to waste some zombies!" Sam asked grinning wide, too young to notice the tension between his parents and the new comer.

"Sure honey," she nodded moving the hair from her sons face then letting him run off to go play. "Dean you can go now if you want," she told him and he nodded a thanks, put the last tin of beans away then went back to his room where he didn't feel suffocated.

"God why the hell can't I catch a break...wonder how long it'll be before I get a hiding this time," he groaned as he sat back down on his bed and went back to his research he had done in the early hours at the library when all the others were asleep.

He felt his hip vibrating and wondered who was calling him.

"Hello?" he asked putting it to his ear.

"_Dean, are you being good?" _

"Y-yes sir," he replied immediately and felt his blood run cold.

"_Have you been nice to the Winchesters?"_

"Yes sir."

"_You got anyone killed yet?"_

"N-no sir."

"_That's a first...only a matter of time though huh kid? And you know what happens then."_

"Yes sir..."

"_This time I'm thinking I match the pretty side of your face with the ugly one."_

Dean couldn't say anything then, he didn't know what to say, he couldn't breathe let alone speak.

"_Dean, I'm talking to you!"_

"Yes sir, sorry sir..."

"_Good, now try to make a world record for yourself and not get too many poor innocent people killed."_

"Y-ye..." but the phone was cut off so he took it away from his ear and closed it. The blood returned to his hands slowly but the shaking had yet to stop.

"Dean I need- oh sorry honey, everything okay?" Mary asked when she saw how pale the kid on her guest bed was.

He nodded shakily and collected himself as he went to listen to what she wanted.

"I need any washing you have," she said looking on the floor for random clothes but then noticed Dean was wearing the same ones he did yesterday and didn't see any underwear or socks round. "Did you put clean underwear on this morning?"

Dean nodded.

"Can I have them to wash?" she asked gently but frowned when Dean shook his head. "Why not, I don't mind washing them really."

He sighed internally knowing she wasn't going to leave until he gave her some underwear to wash so he stood and opened his very neat wardrobe and pulled out one pair of boxes that were passed their best and a pair of socks that had a huge hole in the bottom.

"Thanks, anything else while I'm up here hun?"

Dean shook his head and hoped she would go, her smile and golden angel hair was crushing his chest.

"Sammy's kinda getting bored in his room, maybe you kids would like to play some football later or something," she suggested then left Dean to his thoughts.

_**SPN**_

"Sammy go long!" he heard John laugh then the sound of a kid hitting the ground.

"Dad I suck at this!" he heard Sam whine and when he looked out of the window his first thought was, '_no kidding.'_

Then he saw a laughing Mary wave him down and he shook his head. The others had obviously seen him because they looked and frowned to his window from the garden.

He stood back from the sill and closed his curtains shutting the happy perfect family out of his mind.

"Rude brat," he heard John spit but tried to brush it off as he went for a nap on his bed, he needed to be well prepared for tonight, he wanted to make sure he was well rested and ready so no one got killed.

"Dad I did it! Did you see that!"

"Awesome Sammy! Didn't I say you'd be a pro!" was the last thing he heard before he let his dreams take over.

_**SPN**_

"Dean, sweetie it's almost 11," Mary whispered as she laid a hand on his shoulder to wake him.

Dean grabbed the wrist near him and squeezed tight as he sat up to see his attacker.

"Dean let go of me," Mary insisted trying to pull out of his hold.

The poor kid got a look of complete shock on his face as he let go and she almost fell backwards till he caught her.

"What in the world was that? Dean you really need to learn how to behave young man," she scolded hissing at her wrist that now hurt.

He opened his mouth to apologize but nothing came out.

"Right, now I won't tell my husband about this because no doubt he'll toss you on the street but it's almost 11 in the morning and you need to get up, and I don't just mean awake, I mean out of this room."

Dean saw her sparkling glittery eyes turn dark as she slammed the door when she walked out.

'_Shit shit shit!'_

Dean knew that was going to get back to Ron eventually and he was gonna have another white line on his tally.

He needed to start being more respectful because those marks hurt like hell.

He jumped out of bed and pulled off his clothes he'd slept in and dug around to find the new clothes Mary got him the other day. When he heard someone walking down the hall towards his room he pulled on the nearest pair of jeans which happened to be the ones he'd just taken off but before he could get anything on his top half, "Oh my god..." someone from behind him gasped making him pull on his shirt quickly to cover up what the kid behind him had just seen. "H-how did you get those?"

Dean wouldn't answer, couldn't answer, no one would believe him and no one could help him even if they did, so he always learned to keep his tally to himself.

"MOM!" Sam yelled backing away from Dean about to run and tell his parents what awful sight he'd just seen on Dean's back but he was soon stopped with a hand over his mouth.

A very angry, blood thirsty Dean growled low at him, warning him not to ever speak of this ever to anyone.

"Sammy what's wrong kiddo?" John asked running up the steps so Dean pushed Sam away and let go of his mouth.

"N-nothing dad...doesn't matter," the young kid rambled then walked from Dean's doorway and to his own room where he paced in shock not knowing if she tell his mom and dad or keep it inside, Dean really didn't look like he wanted anyone to know, and his dad always told him never stir things, but he also always said he should always tell the truth.

'_Which one do I do?'_ he asked himself as tears stung his eyes.

"What did you just say to my son?" John asked glaring daggers at Dean who shrugged then closed walked from the room and went downstairs like he was told.

_**SPN**_

"D-Dean-n?" Sam asked when they were both left in the living room to watch TV.

Dean knew what the kid was going to ask so he decided to ignore him for his benefit.

"Dean how did you get those scars?" the kid pressed but still got nothing from Dean. "Dean my mom and dad can help you if you tell them."

Dean laughed on the inside at that, then pressed hard on the volume button and waited till Saving Private Ryan drowned out the kids nagging.

"Please tell me! I promise we won't tell on you!"

"Could you turn it down Sammy!" John yelled from the backyard where he could hear the TV.

The boy nodded then mouthed an apology as he turned the volume down and gave up pestering the stranger sat across from him.

"My dad's right, you are an ass," he mumbled a little too loud tensing when Dean twitched for the first time in hours.

_**SPN**_

"Mom I'm telling you someone hurts Dean!"

"Sammy not every rude boy is being abused, you're dad is right, he's just rude, bad parenting I guess."

"No mom I don't mean that! He's got these huge white scar thingies on his back!"

"Sam he's not even got changed in 4 days, how could you possibly know that baby?"

"Mom I'm not making this up! Why the hell would I make this up?"

"Sam Winchester you do not curse in this house!" his mom scolded.

"Mom please you gotta believe me, Dean needs our help!"

"No Sam, I'm not bothering CPS just for some kid we're looking after this week, and those scars might just be from falling over or something when he was a child."

"No mom they're like a tally chart, like we learned that time in math with the 4 lines and a diagonal thingie! I'm serious! You and dad always told me to tell the truth, I'm not making stories mom I swear."

"Okay, fine, I'll talk to him about it okay, but if he is being abused then nobody can help him if he doesn't tell anybody."

"Thank you mom, thank you thank you thank you!" Sam yelled wrapping his little arms round his mom before running off to go play with his army dudes, he knew he felt better now he told his mom, she would make sure Dean would be okay wouldn't she?

_**SPN**_

"Dean honey, is there anything about your uncle we should know?" Mary asked the guest at dinner.

He shook his head then went back to eating.

"Is he a nice uncle?" she pressed casually.

Dean nodded and let himself put on a fake casual expression too to make it more convincing, but the truth was, his uncle was one of the evilest people he'd ever met in his life, not that he'd ever tell anyone that.

"So is this uncle as outgoing as you?" John butted in.

Dean shrugged, he really hated asses like John, like Ron, like all the others that thought they were better than him because they were allowed to speak. But not him, he'd learned to keep his trap shut a long time ago, his 'smart ass gob' always got him in trouble with guys like John so he decided on muting himself the last time he'd gotten a beating so bad he thought he was gonna die.

"Take that as a yes."

Sam whimpered at his dad under his breath making Dean clench his fist, _'why the hell are they butting in all of sudden? Who the hell are they?'_

"John stop it," Mary warned in the harshest tone she'd ever heard herself speak before, she really loved that her husband was strong and all ex-marine, but at the same time, she hated when he got like this, when he forgot he was a person now and didn't have to be a drill sergeant anymore.

"Dean is your uncle mean?" Sam asked point blank making Mary gasp in shock, even if it wasn't true, or even if it was, she did not raise her son to ask such rude things to guests.

She was sick of the men in the room right now so she pulled John's only half eaten food from under his fork and pulled Sam's away too, unsure why she was mad at him but right now they were all getting on her nerves, she was taking a liking to Dean but part of her couldn't wait for him to be gone so her husband could go back to being none dick-ish and her son could be the normal sweet boy she raised well,not the annoying kid that stirred things and was so rude.

"I think it's time you boys went to your rooms," she said dumping all the pots in the sink waiting for her son and guest to leave the table.

"Dinner was awesome mom," Sam said before leaving and Dean nodded a thank you then left too.

"John would you grow up, I swear the only person right now that is being bad-mannered and bratty is you and I'm sick of it, just grow up!" she yelled then stormed off to the living room where she sat down for the first time all day.

"What did I do now?" John whined dropping his fork that he still had in his hand.

_**SPN**_

After he cleaned up in the kitchen, John knew he needed to grow up so he apologized to Mary then went up stairs, told Sam to get his shoes on, then went to the guest bedroom where Dean unlocked the door and waited.

"We're going out to the movies, you coming?"

Dean shook his head then closed the door in John's face.

"Dad is he coming?" Sam asked behind him.

"No, the brat isn't, god he is getting on my last nerve," John hissed loud, walked off telling Sam they were staying in instead then he went downstairs to go watch some TV with his loving wife.

_**SPN**_

It was Saturday night now and John was yet again having another rant.

"He's not a bad kid John, he's just had a hard time in life, just give him a break and stop with the marine crap, just talk to him like a kid, like you talk to your own son," Mary lectured her husband as he continued to whine about how rude Dean was and how he didn't stand for bull under his roof and how if Dean carried on he was out on the street but Mary knew it was just guy talk, her husband would never toss any child out on the street, unless he or she crashed his precious impala that is.

"I swear Mary if he doesn't cut the crap he's-"

"Out on the street, sure," she snorted handing John a beer.

"How do you think he got that scar on his face mom?" Sam asked butting in.

"Sam, it's not nice to ask questions like that, use your manners, stop telling tales, Dean said his uncle was nice so stop being so rude."

"Sorry mom," Sam mumbled, manners went a long way in this house and Sam knew it, once he got so moody when he wanted a toy he couldn't have he got grounded for 3 week, which in 6 year old kid world was a life time, never again did he back talk to his dad.

"Maybe someone was sick of his attitude and taught him a lesson."

"John Winchester! That was uncalled for! Now saying things like abusing a child and enjoying the sound of it will get you thrown on the street!" Mary yelled raging at her husband, she tossed her cloth she was about to dusk with at him hard.

Just then when they were about to fight more about the stranger in their upstairs, that same stranger was standing down at the bottom of the steps, his face bright red with anger and Sam thought if this was a cartoon he would have steam coming from his ears.

Then all hell broke loose!

_**TBC...**_

**_Reviews? *sniffle*... _**


	3. Double Promise

**Double Promise**

"He's not a bad kid John, he's just had a hard time in life, just give him a break and stop with the marine crap, just talk to him like a kid, like you talk to your own son," Mary lectured her husband as he continued to whine about how rude Dean was and how he didn't stand for bull under his roof and how if Dean carried on he was out on the street but Mary knew it was just guy talk, her husband would never toss any child out on the street, unless he or she crashed his precious impala that is.

"I swear Mary if he doesn't cut the crap he's-"

"Out on the street, sure," she snorted handing John a beer.

"How do you think he got that scar on his face mom?" Sam asked butting in.

"Sam, it's not nice to ask questions like that, use your manners, stop telling tales, Dean said his uncle was nice so stop being so rude."

"Sorry," Sam mumbled, manners went a long way in this house and Sam knew it, once he got so moody when he wanted a toy he couldn't have he got grounded for 3 week, which in 6 year old kid world was a life time, never again did he back talk to his dad.

"Maybe someone was sick of his attitude and taught him a lesson."

"John Winchester! That was uncalled for! Now saying things like abusing a child and enjoying the sound of it will get you thrown on the street!" Mary yelled raging at her husband, she tossed her cloth she was about to dusk with at him hard.

Just then when they were about to fight more about the stranger in their upstairs, that same stranger was standing down at the bottom of the steps, his face bright red with anger and Sam thought if this was a cartoon he would have steam coming from his ears.

Then all hell broke loose!

John stood and opened his mouth to apologize but was quickly cut off when Dean charged him to the floor. Mary screeched in shock and quickly pulled Sam back towards the kitchen out of harms way and they were both forced to watch the scene unfold.

For a second, just a second, it looked like Dean was going to pound on John but being stronger, bigger and not influenced by emotions John was able to overpower Dean and grab his hands before he flipped the kid over so he was the one pinning Dean to floor now.

"Kid! Hey!" he yelled as Dean struggled and tried to turn the tackle back, he looked like a wild animal caught in a net. "Dean!" John roared making Dean's heart stop...he knew that tone...he knew what was coming so he stopped struggling knowing that always made it worse in the end and just waited for the beating to start and pray the stop wouldn't be much long after. "Hey look at me, if you don't stop with this attitude while you're under my roof then I'll show you a thing or two about manners! I don't stand for crap you hear me kid?!" John yelled still on the top of Dean pinning his limbs down and noticing how limp they had gone and how scared Dean looked right now. He shook it off then twisted Dean in such a way that both of them were standing in a flash, unharmed but both breathless. "Now go to your room!" John yelled once more pointing t the stairs and Dean quickly nodded acknowledging someone for the first time all week, his usually square shoulders hunched in fear as he staggered up the steps and to his room.

He knew he needed to get away then, so he grabbed all his things, stuffed them in a bag trying to block out Ron screaming in his head that he was doing it all wrong again but he didn't have time to fold, he needed to get the hell outa there so he grabbed his weapons lastly, then pushed up the window, looked out how far of a drop it was, adjusted his duffle round his shoulder then jumped and rolled himself once he hit ground so he would make a safe landing. He shook himself off then ran out the gate and towards the nearest cheapest motel where he could maybe call someone to pick him up, as much as he hated Ron, he always knew if he did the right thing that he'd learned Ron wanted out of him, he wouldn't get such bad beatings daily, but with the John guy...he had no clue what would make him satisfied to stop the punches so he ran like hell knowing it was for the best...his parents wouldn't want that for him he was sure of it.

_**SPN**_

"John what the hell was that?!" Mary asked raging as she walked up to her husband then slapped him hard across the face making Sam gasp and more tears stung his young innocent eyes, never had he seen his dad so scary, and in their own home. "Clean this shit up!" she yelled pointing to the broken vase and Sam still didn't know what to do with himself, he'd never heard his mom curse ever! "I'm going to talk to Dean," she hissed then stormed off to the steps appalled to call this man her husband right now.

"Sammy you know I had to-" John started still thinking he was in the right to pin Dean like that and say such things.

"Stay away from me!" Sam yelled in fear as he backed up then ran upstairs to his room slamming the door and jumping on his bed sobbing in mostly shock of what just happened.

"John! John!" he heard his mom scream so he forgot about himself and ran to go help his mom.

"Mom!" he yelled chasing down the hall as he came to a skidding halt when he bumped into his dad's back.

"Mary what's wrong?"

"He's gone! Dean's gone. Uuuh! John I swear if something happens to him and his uncle comes back...god I can't even look at you right now," she yelled closing the blowing window then grabbing her coat on the way and slipping her boots on she ran out the house and started on the search. "Dean! Dean sweetie where are you?! Dean honey no one will hurt you I swear just please come on out!" she yelled looking in all her bushes but son realising Dean had left well and truly.

She was soon joined by her son who was yelling for Dean also.

"Dean! Dean!"

"Sam baby, you take the left side of town, come back home if you reach the garage and you still haven't found him, and if you do don't do anything stupid okay, just try to talk to him, call your dad or me if you find him, please be careful honey," she said.

"Okay, I will mom," he nodded then ran off as she went off to yell searching the right side of town and hoped Dean hadn't gotten run over in his little Houdini incident, he was only a child still and it was dangerous to be out at this time of the night alone, despite how big and tough they think they are.

"Oh god Sammy, Sammy! Baby come back! Sam!" she yelled when she realised her son was in just the same danger she was now trying to save Dean from, _'how can I be so stupid?!'_

"I'll be fine mom! We need to find Dean!" she heard her baby yell from the other side of the street so she trusted her husband to come out and take care of their son while he was hopefully searching too.

Thankfully not half a second later she could hear John's car starting up and smiled knowing he wasn't a bad man, he just let his temper get away with him sometimes, much like Dean as she had noticed over the last few days. She knew he was going to be searching the outside of town when she heard him yelling Dean out of an open window and the music for the first time ever was shut off.

"Dean! Where are you?! Dean!" she yelled concentrating on her search looking high and low and in neighbours' gardens and so on. "Dean how fast do you run?" she asked no one really then went to jog a little as she called his name.

_**SPN**_

"Dean! Come on dude my dad didn't mean to be nasty! He won't hurt you I swear! Dean!"

Sam noted by now it was getting really dark and he should probably turn back around and leave the search to his parents, but he just couldn't make himself turn round and give up, he wanted to help Dean, after kicking his dad in the gonads of course. He really did wonder now how he got the scar, he was scared to think that maybe when his dad joked, with the look of how angry Dean got, he started to think someone did purposefully do that to him, and it scared him even more to think what had made such a mark on his face. And what about this uncle, what if it was him and Dean had to go back to him in a few days.

"DEAN!" he yelled feeling his voice cords snapping under the pressure but all this thinking was making him scared and he needed to find Dean and ask him because he was gonna have nightmares if he carried on letting his mind wander. "DEAN!! Please I'm scared," he whispered to himself.

When his left foot picked up to sprint again he felt a cold shiver down his back that made him pause.

"Who's there?! Dean?!" he asked turning in every direction to see who was there, he could feel someone round him and how he really was scared, what if Dean was so messed up he was gonna come out of nowhere and attack him? "H-hello?!" Sam asked chewing his lip.

When he soon found nothing round him, his fear settled and he carried on walking to search for Dean.

"DEAN! Hello?! Anybody there?! Dean! Dad?! I'm scared!" he was about to let himself cry but knowing he needed to be cool like Dean was, he pulled out his phone to tell his dad to come pick him up, he was way past the shops in town now and it was freaky out here!

'_22 missed calls...CRAP! Mom and dad are gonna kill me!'_

He was about to call back when the cell was blown from his hand.

"Hey!" he whined about to whine some more at the punk that just jumped him.

But when he looked up...

"AAHHH!!!" he yelled then tripped over his own feet then crawled back on the wet ground, tears streaming down his face and every bone shook with terror. "P-plleaa-se...d-d-on-tt...k-ki-ll m-me..." he sobbed then yelped when his back hit a tree and there was no more ground to crawl away on.

"Aww don't cry...this won't hurt...much," she laughed kneeling down then grabbed his wrist splitting the skin with her nail.

"Mmhhgg!!" Sam cried when the cut was deep and she sucked on the blood seeping out.

She got sick of his whining and wanted something more so she ripped open his shirt and drew her nails down his chest making him scream.

"AAHHAAHHHAAA!!" he screamed thrashing trying to pushed her off but her hands were pinning his and blood red nails dug in his skin once again. "P-ple-ea-ssee...-h-hu-r-ts...d-d-dad-dyy!! M-mom-my!!" he sobbed trying to curl away from her.

"HEY!" he heard someone strong and fearless yell at the woman and he let out a long cry when he nails left his flesh and she stood to face the stranger. "Stay the hell away from him you bitch!"

Sam was sobbing in relief and needed his mom and dad there now just to take him home...or to make the pain stop at least. He curled round the back of the tree and cried when he heard the woman scream and her head rolled next to his knees. He kicked out and the dead body part went flying down the darkness.

He let himself scream in agony not caring anymore, he hurt and he just wanted to go home.

"Sam! Sam!" someone yelled and he was scared who knew his name and was calling him.

He tried to back away but the hands wouldn't let him.

"Hey, look at me," the person said so he opened his eyes doing as he was told not wanting any more pain. "Did she bleed on you?" he asked and Sam sobbed not knowing how to answer that, what the hell was this? "Sam did she bleed on you?"

"N-nnoo..." he sobbed. "W-w-ant my m-mommy and d-daddy...c-can I go h-home now? " he asked.

"Not yet kiddo, gotta patch you up first, your parents aren't gonna be too happy if you bleed to death out here."

"...D-D-ean?" Sam asked only now seeing clear enough to recognise the green eyes that weren't so dead anymore_. _

"One and only," he replied as he pulled out a thick pad of gauze from a red box in his duffle and pressed it on Sam's chest which was bleeding the most. "Sorry," he winced when Sam cried out again.

"H-how...how d-id y-ou d-do t-that?"

"Do what?" Dean asked playing dumb.

"K-kill her...you c-cut off h-er head..." Sam rolled over and opened his mouth to puke. Dean gently pulled him up right so he wouldn't choke and rubbed his hand down the kids back till he was finished.

"Yeah...only way to kill her, you're welcome by the way," the older one smirked setting Sam down again.

"Why...why are y-you saving m-me?"

"Kinda my job."

"Why...why are you t-talking to m-me?" the boy stuttered still confused and hoping this was all a bad dream.

"Cos if I don't, you'll probably pass out, and then you'll have to go to the ER and I'll have to take you, and I can't take you kid."

"Wh-hy?"

"Too many questions, kinda like the ones you're asking right now."

"S-sorry..." Sam cried.

"What for?" Dean asked as he wrapped Sam's wrist tightly in a long bandage to stop the bleeding.

"M-my dad..."

"Don't worry about it," Dean's tone had changed now, it had gone from a little chipper and caring, to slightly terrified and angry.

"He's n-not a bad m-man," Sam pushed then winced when he felt Dean press another pad to his chest.

"You need to call your parents, then I'm gonna have to go," Dean said changing the subject.

"W-what? N-no...you can't leave me here...p-please...please I'm s-scared," Sam begged clinging to Dean's jacket.

"Hey, hey, I'm not leaving okay, I'll just...stay here till I see your parents coming, I saw your dad round town, 1967 Impala right?"

"Y-yeah..." Sam nodded then smirked a little despite the pain.

"You think you can call him?"

Sam shook his head not trusting his voice, or how his dad was gonna react right now.

"We'll just...text him then," Dean suggested. "Hold this," he said putting Sam's good hand on the kids own chest as he went searching through his pockets.

"S-she kno-cked it outa my h-hand," Sam told him.

"I'm gonna look for it, don't move," he ordered then stood looking on the ground for a cell. "Got it," he announced then went back over to Sam.

He sent an appropriate text then pressed send to 'dad' before putting the cell safely back in Sam's pocket.

"W-what did you –say?"

"'Pick me up at the woods.'"

"G-great," Sam snorted hating how he was gonna have to explain this to his dad when he got there.

"You okay?" Dean asked lifting the gauze on Sam's chest to see if the bleeding had slowed down.

"N-no, h-hurts...wann-t my dad..." Sam cried.

"You'll be fine, few painkillers and you'll be good as new."

"H-hate painkillers."

"Yeah I hear you on that one kid."

"D-Dean?"

"Yeah?" he asked taping some fresh padding over the wounds.

"W-why are you being n-nice to me?"

"Kid, just cos I might act like an ass, doesn't mean I am one."

"Then w-hy do y-ou act l-like one?"

Dean's face went back to blank then, his mouth slammed shut and Sam was sure that was the exact same expression Dean had when he first saw him.

"S-sorry... D-Dean?"

"Yeah?" the older one asked kindly doing his best to comfort the kid by answering the hundreds of questions.

"Am-m I gonna die here," Sam asked, his breathing hitching at every half breath.

"NO! You're not gonna die! Not on my watch! I've had worse and survived so shut up about the death shit!"

"Sorry...j-just hu-rts n'm'scared..."

"Yeah I bet kid, you're doing good though."

"R-really?" Sam asked looking to Dean for hope like he was someone he could count on for anything, especially things like this.

"Really," Dean nodded feeling weird that this kid was trusting him for some strange reason, usually everyone was scared of him, "hey you're dad is here," Dean announced then stood about to run for it.

"P-please don't leave me!" Sam yelled then let himself sob alone thinking Dean had already gone. "Mommy...daddy..." he cried holding his burning chest.

When Dean saw the fear in the kid's eyes as he stood over him about to leave, he saw how alone and scared and in pain poor Sam was and how much he seemed to want his presence instead of the usual _'who the fuck are you?! stay away from me you freak!'_. Dean knew he couldn't just leave the poor boy crying alone out here in the middle of nowhere so he kneeled back down and held Sam's hand for some unknown reason.

"Hey, I'll stay, but you have to promise me you can't say anything about this to your parents, just say someone attacked you but you don't know who or why, then I came and scared em off okay?"

"O-okay, tt-thank you," Sam sniffled.

Dean nodded, then knew if he was staying till Sam's dad would turn up then obviously see the dead body, he knew he had to get rid of it, "Right, first I need to burn that bitch."

"But you said m-my dad was h-here."

"I lied, stay there, I promise I'll come back," he said standing and taking his bag with him.

"You double promise?"

"Yeah, sure kid, I double promise," Dean stuttered, he'd never promised anything to anyone before, he didn't think he ever had the right.

"O-okay," Sam nodded holding a hand to his chest praying Dean was coming back and cried out a little when the warm hand left his.

"Close your eyes kid," Dean told him from round the other side of the tree.

"W-hy?" Sam asked and wondered why he did that, why he always asked why and when and where and who and how.

"Cos I said so," was all the older one said so Sam shut his eyes tight then felt something get dragged past him, he knew why then.

"Promise y-you'll come back?" he asked when he felt Dean was far away from him now.

"I'll be back kid! Stay awake!" Dean yelled from far away and Sam opened his eyes and felt instantly alone and afraid.

'_Please come back...please come back...please come back!'_

He saw a bright flame in the far end of what he saw to be woods and Dean standing next to it making the fire bigger.

'_I'm in the woods...crap I'm like 30 minutes drive away from my house.'_

"D-Dean!" he yelled when he felt himself go dizzy.

Dean didn't hesitate, with the dangers out here Sam didn't have time for the 'what?!' reply if he was in danger. He ran back and in no more than half a minute he was by Sam's side with his gun out.

"You okay?" he asked then put his gun away when he realised Sam was okay.

"Slleeppyy..." Sam groaned remembering Dean told him to stay awake.

"Sam, hey stay awake, open your eyes..." Sam nodded then opened his wet eyes as Dean tapped him on the cheek, "that's it, good job buddy, how many fingers?" he asked.

"Three," Sam told him grateful for Dean coming so soon.

"Okay, I can't leave you over here on your own and I can't leave that fire like it is," Dean said then picked Sam up in his arms and carried him over to the fire that way half a mile away.

Sam felt the ground under him again and then he heard a bit of rustling.

"How's your chest doing?" Dean asked him as he peeled off the gauze that was there then inspected it a little.

"S'okay," Sam stuttered then hissed as Dean dabbed a little antibacterial cream on the cuts, it wasn't much but it would hold out till the kid got some proper medical care.

"Should make it feel a little better," Dean told him and the sides of Sam's mouth tugged upwards, Dean was much nicer when someone was hurt, he really wondered why Dean had 2 personalities.

"Are you like B-Batman or something-gg?"

"No kid, I ain't loaded," Dean laughed.

"But you saved me...are you Superman?"

"Sure, just without the tights," Dean snorted making Sam giggle a little too, it was strange, but they both kinda liked the stupid banter.

"Dea-nn?" he asked not able to keep it in his mouth anymore.

"Yeah?" he asked watching Sam close but keeping his eyes on the flames as he watched the vamp burn, he needed to get rid of the evidence and he figured if John arrived and smelt the burning he could explain he started a fire to keep Sam warm till help came but the fire got a little big.

"Can I ask you a q-question?"

"Uh...sure kid," Dean grumbled.

"How did you get those scars?"

"Long story," Dean said tense hoping the kid wouldn't ask anymore, but he was a little torn, if the only thing that was keeping him awake was talking about that shit then he would have to, but he really really didn't want to.

"My dad is gonna take like 20 minutes to get here, my mom used to be able to tell me 3 stories at bed time in 10 minutes...please can I know?" Sam begged and Dean took note the kid seemed to be stronger now and he wanted to keep it that way.

Dean sat down next to Sam, then sighed before he began his 'story.'

"M-my...job...it's dangerous, sometimes I screw up, like today," Dean mumbled.

"What do mean? You didn't get h-hurt did you?"

"No, but you did."

"Huh?"

"When I screw up...when people get hurt cos I can't get to the...bad guy fast enough...I have to pay for it."

"You mean...if someone like me gets hurt...it's not really your fault...but someone hurts you cos they think you did it wrong?"

"Basically," Dean nodded then turned and watched the fire letting it bring him peace, John was probably gonna give him a mark for Sam getting hurt and he wanted this bit of calm before the storm.

"Who?" Sam asked looking over at Dean with tears in his eyes.

"Who what?"

"Who h-hurts you?"

"Your dad should be here soon."

"Dean who is the mean person that makes you hurt?"

"Man I'm starving," Dean continued to ramble.

"Dean tell me...please I wanna help you," Sam begged.

"You can't help, it's my life, just drop it kid."

"Dean pretty p-please..."

"I said shut the fuck up! If you don't I'm leaving your ass here!"

Sam let the tears drip and he looked away from Dean towards the floor thinking the older kid was about to leave him.

"Sorry," he mumbled instead of taking off and Sam was shocked.

"Y-you're not gonna leave me here to die?" Sam asked looking up at him with hope.

"Guess not."

"Thank you!" Sam cried then leaned in to Dean, much to the older ones shock and gave him a tight squeeze even though it hurt really bad.

Dean gasped a few times, his mouth hung open like a fish out of water, he cleared his throat then put his hand slowly and strangely on the kids shoulder where he patted before the boy let go and let himself be pushed back against the tree they were both leaning on.

"Y-your dad is here."

"Really?" Sam asked looking behind him.

"Yeah," Dean nodded and stayed right where he was. Sam watched him slip back inside himself and how dark his eyes got when he heard his dad yelling his name.

"You're n-not leaving?"

Dean shrugged but stayed put still.

"Dad I'm here!" Sam yelled keeping his eyes on Dean still.

"Sammy?!!" he yelled and then he was running towards his sons voice. "Sam!? What the hell happened?! Sam oh god are you okay?! What the hell did you do to my son?! Stay the hell away from him!!" John yelled pulling Dean up by his shirt then tossing him back on the ground behind him and the poor kid almost hit the dying out fire.

"No dad! Stop it! Dean saved me! He chased the bad man off!" Sam pushed off the ground and crawled over to Dean who was trying to compose his silent self. "Dean are you okay?" he asked as the older kid helped him up. "Dean he didn't mean to push you," Sam whimpered when the older kid didn't say anything.

"Its fine," he whispered and went stiff as John approached.

"Sammy, oh god, what the hell happened to you?! Who did this to you?!" he asked running his hands over the gauze on his baby's chest.

"I d-don't know, some guy come along and did this to me...then Dean came and I guess he scared him off cos next thing I knew Dean was patching me up," Sam lied and it rolled off the tongue so easily Dean couldn't help but smile.

"Well uh...thank you. I'll take him from here thanks," John said sincerely as Dean handed the swaying kid over. John wrapped his arms round his son's waist to support him then pulled him up in his hold and held him tight to his chest before he started to walk.

He noticed Dean was still standing soldier like next to the where the ash laid. "You coming?" he asked over his shoulder making Sam smile.

Dean nodded once then started to walk with the Winchesters back to the car.

"So who started the fire?" John asked making small conversation.

"Dean did, I was c-cold," Sam explained when he knew Dean wasn't going to talk, he'd have to ask Dean about that when his parents were out of the house.

"Guess I should thank you for saving my son's life."

Dean shrugged and looked towards the ground.

"Sammy you okay?"

"I'm okay dad."

"Sam?" he asked again getting worried.

"My chest really hurts...but not as much cos Dean put some stuff on it."

"Good. You good Dean?" John asked catching the kid completely off guard, his icy expression shattered and surprise took over as he nodded. "Good," John smiled back then walked again towards the car.

_**TBC...**_

**_Sorry for any blips and screw ups, it's all my fault I know but please be nice... :D _**


	4. Homecomings and Harsh Beatings

**Homecomings and harsh beatings**

"Sammy you ready to go home baby?" Mary asked brushing the hair from his eyes as he sat on the bed.

"Yeah...mom where's Dean?" he asked pulling away from her soft soothing.

"He's at home sweetie, your dad is watching him don't worry."

"Hello young man, it's nice to see you a little more awake, how are you feeling this morning?"

"Fine thank you," Sam mumbled towards the doctor.

"Well you had quite an attack yesterday, I think it's wise to admit him to a psychiatrist just to make sure they're no lasting trauma-"

"I'm right here, you don't have to talk like I'm not, and I'm fine, I don't need a shrink, Dean saved me, I'm fine," Sam insisted.

"Sam sweetheart if the doctor-"

"Please mom, can't we just go home? Please? I just wanna go home and thank Dean."

Mary sighed as her son used the puppy eyes on her, she could never resist those baby dimples, "can't I just take him home? He'll be fine, I know my son, he's a strong cookie right?" she smiled looking down at him.

"Right, thanks mom," he grinned then frowned as he went to scratch his stitches.

"No you don't, leave them alone," his mom ordered kindly pulling his hand away from his chest.

"Well, I'd like to examine you one last time but if you feel there's no need for any psychiatric consultant then I'll discharge him."

"Thank you doctor Jenner," Mary shook his hand then he went to look at how Sam's cuts were healing, he nodded satisfied then left stating he would be back with the papers in a few minutes.

_**SPN**_

"Sam pace yourself okay, I know you might think it was just a few scratches but just listen to your mother and take it easy," Mary lectured as she walked her son inside the house, he was squirming away saying he was a big boy and he could walk on his own but she insisted on helping him.

"Can I go upstairs?" he asked when they reached the house.

"Sure, just take it slow, take a breather half way up if you need to," she said guiding him to the first step then watched close as he went up slow and careful, she noticed the pain lines on his face and it was like a stab in the chest, the doctor said he would be just fine, they gave him a few painkillers and antibiotics just in case, then kept him over night because of the possible shock and that wasn't much considering Sam had worse when he played out in the snow one year. But still, she hated even when her baby had a cold. She always wished she could take the fall for the illness or bleeding, but her husband a long time ago had told her, kids get sick, they fall down and hurt themselves, but that's just all part of life, we can just be there to kiss it better when they need us.

"Mary, you okay sweetheart?" John asked when he saw the tear fall down her cheek.

"Fine, just..."

"I know, but like Sammy said, Dean saved him and now he's fine, and the kid is handling it remarkably well, both of them are actually," John told her as he wrapped his arms round her waist from the back and held her close as she leaned into him.

"But what if he's still out there? He could hurt soemone else, he could hurt Sammy again," Mary's voice hitched in the last word.

"Then I'll be there to protect our boy next time, and the police are there to look after everyone else. Nobody else in my family is going to get hurt ever again, I promise you."

"I take it back..." she whispered.

"Take what back?" John asked after leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"You're not an ass," she smiled then giggled as she turned to face him and kiss him on the cheek this time.

"Thanks," he laughed.

"Ahh...you think they'll really be okay?" Mary asked after a few moments of silence.

"They'll be fine."

"Should we tell Dean's uncle when he gets here?"

"No...I think that would just make matters worse."

"Yeah, you're probably right..."

"I'm John Winchester, I'm always right," he smirked.

"No you are not! Dean's a bratty ass huh? Well Sam says different," she smirked at him now.

"Fine, fine, I got one thing wrong."

She laughed then shook her head at him.

"John Winchester you do make me laugh."

'_Eeewww!'_ were Sam's thoughts as he ease dropped on his parents listening to them smooch. _'I need to talk to Dean,'_ he grumbled shaking off the icky ness then walking to the guest bedroom, he really hoped super Dean hadn't found a way to unlock the locked window and get out again.

He bit his lip and knocked on Dean's door.

He crossed his toes and hoped Dean would answer...

It swung open like a gale force and thankfully there Dean was, he looked like crap, but there he was.

The second thing he noticed was Dean had finally decided to wear some of the new clothes he recognised from the bag his mom told him to take up the other day..._'maybe he's feeling better about staying with us then if he's wearing the clothes mom got him.'_

"Why do you put stuff under the door?" he asked knowing he heard some shuffling of something there not seconds ago.

"I'm superstitious," was Dean's automatic answer.

"How come you didn't put something under the door the other day?"

"I forgot, I was tired," _'yeah, from the freakin hunt...or lack there of and spending my night wandering round, till last night rather, thank lord I found a hunt eventually, Ron would have my ass if I didn't. I should probably think the kid actually.'_ "Your mom gave me a heart attack when she stormed in at 11 in the morning," Dean chuckled.

"Yeah...she always comes in my room...wish I had a lock," Sam joined in the moaning trying to be cool.

"So...uuh, how you're feeling?"

"Um...fine, thank you."

"Uh...what did the docs say?"

"Nothing much, just gave me a few painkillers and stitches, kept me overnight just in case I had an infection then sent me home."

"S'good...um...I'm glad you're okay...ah, you didn't tell anybody about-?"

"Nope."

"Good," Dean nodded and they went into an awkward silence. "You wanna sit?" he asked when he saw the paleness to Sam's face as the kid yawned.

He nodded a thanks then eased himself with a wince he tried to hide from Dean so he didn't look like a wuss, then watched as the older kid sat next to him.

"Dean?" he started.

"Yeah?" the older one asked a little causious.

"What happened after we got to car? My mom wouldn't tell me."

"Uh...your dad told me to sit in the back to make sure you were okay while he drove...then um, I think you passed out from the shock or something. Your dad went running into the ER screaming help, they checked me over when they took you away, your mom came just when the doc said I was fine, then your folks worried a whole hell of a lot," _'I'm kinda really jealous actually,'_ "your mom wanted to stay for when you woke up so your dad took me back here and ah...that's about it."

"Oh...what did my mom and dad say to you when um...I was passed out?"

"Your dad didn't really say much, he said sorry," Dean seemed to frown like that confused him but Sam tried to just listen to the rest of the story, Dean was really the only one who could fill in the blanks because everyone else he was lying to, "...your mom gave me a lecture about not running off like that again, then she thanked me for saving you, and um...she hugged me," Dean told him with a smile that turned to wet tears before Sam saw him blink them away and go back to his hard face again.

"Yeah...sounds like my mom."

"Hey Dean?" he asked once again making the older boy smirk a little.

"Yeah?"

"Who was she?...I mean she wasn't normal right?...She had like these huge teeth things...kinda like those things on Buffy."

"You watch Buffy?" Dean laughed.

"No!" Sam whined, he didn't watch a girl show like that....okay, he did once, "was she a vampire?" the kid asked making Dean shocked, he seemed okay and very chilled about it.

"Um...well...kinda, but...just don't tell anyone okay, you can't ever tell anyone!"

"I know, I won't...hey Dean? If vampires are really real, what else is? Are Zombies and warewolfs and stuff real?"

"Sam...listen to me, I could go on forver about what's real and what isn't but trust me, it's better you don't know, the more you know the more you're in danger of spirits and-"

"Ghosts are real?!"

_'Crap...shouldn't have said that!'_

"Kid just...stop asking, for your own sake just don't ask anymore, and don't go looking for things and don't get yourself in trouble again, I have to leave tomorrow so I can't stick round here forver protecting you."

"Y-you're leaving?" Sam pouted, he was hoping he could tell all the kids at school about his new friend that saved him when he got attacked by a strange freak, he could have been noticed and the talk of the school for once in his life, he might have been cool for once and not, 'hey look its Sammy, the kid that gets his head flushed down the toilet daily. Hadehahah!'

"...my uncle called, he's coming for me tomorrow so I'll be outa your hair by then," Sam noticed Dean swallowed hard when he talked about his uncle and he knew he had something to do with why Dean had so many scars.

"Did you tell my dad?"

"No, I was hoping you could."

"Oh, yeah okay, um...bye then," Sam mumbled and stood, walking back down the hall.

"Hey uh, thanks for sticking up for me yesterday with your dad, nobody ever done that for me before so...thanks."

"You're welcome, thanks for saving me and for not making fun of me when I was a baby last night."

"You're welcome," Dean nodded smirking a little, then again, they went to an awkward silence.

"Dean...please tell me who hurts you," the kid begged turning on his heals to face Dean again.

"I don't know what you're talking about kid," Dean shook his head playing dumb.

"Dean I know I didn't dream that stuff you told me, I know you told me, please, my mom and dad can help."

"Sam I got no idea what you're talking about, you were pretty freaked yesterday, maybe you're just mixing things up...I'll see you round kid."

"Yeah, I'll see ya," Sam mumbled and half spat then walked off, so much for Dean sticking around so he could help.

"Great, the kid hates me now too," Dean sighed long and hard then moved to go pack the rest of his things perfectly, his uncle wouldn't like it if his duffle was a mess.

_**SPN**_

"Mom, Dean's going back to his uncle tomorrow," Sam half yelled ignoring the pain in his cuts as he huffed and at the kitchen table.

"Sam honey I know you think something's up with him but we can't help if he doesn't even talk to us."

"He talked to me! He told me someone purposefully hurts him!"

Mary saw the look of pain in her son's eyes and she knew he wasn't making it up.

"Please mom, can't you just look at his back or soemthing?"

"Sam, I can't go round asking 14 year old boys if I can see their backs, I''d get done for child molesting or soemthing."

"Can't you make soemthing up? Like...tell him a bee flew up his sleeve and he needs to take his shirt off?"

"Sam, don't be silly...okay, well when his uncle comes tomorrow we'll just figure out a way to make them stick around a little longer but if me and your father feel he's a nice man that took in his nephew out of the goodness of his heart then you let this go and you let them move on."

"Thanks mom," Sam cheered then jumped and gave her a quick grin before running to tell Dean.

"Sam be careful!" she yelled when he didn't stop running like a mad child, '_the hospital should have given me sedatives as well with his prescription.'_

"Dean! Dean my mom's got awesome news! Dean!" he yelled still running through the house to the guest room.

The door opened once again.

"Dean my mom's gonna try to convince your uncle to stay round here for a bit so we can-"

'_Okay, this one clearly isn't as stupid as most kids his age, so he ain't gonna fall for the dumb trick.'_

"Kid would you let it go, even if you do find out what that dick does to me, I'd never admit it because if I don't have my uncle then I have no one, do you know what that's like? No you wouldn't, would you?! You and your perfect mommy and daddy with your white picket fence and church on Sunday routine, you have no idea! I have no one besides the asshole that beats me to a pulp at every chance he gets! You can't even begin to understand let alone help so just leave me the hell alone and stay outa my life!"

The door slammed in his face and Sam was left standing there with tears streaming down his cheeks.

'_I was only trying to help.'_

"Sammy, honey you okay?" his mom asked when she saw him run past her to his room.

"I'm fine, I'm going to sleep," he pouted before sinking carefully on his bed and crying into his pillow.

_**SPN**_

It was the day Ron was picking Dean up, Sam still hadn't looked the older kid in the eye since he got yelled at yesterday, and Dean seemed to have gone back to his black hole of grunts and glaring as they all sat in the living room waiting for Dean's uncle to come.

"Hello, anybody home?" Ron yelled knocking on the door waiting for someone to answer.

The door opened soon after and John stood raising his eye brows, Dean was nothing like his uncle, sure the ratty clothes and army hair cut were the same, but this guy had a malicious presence about him that didn't go unnoticed by anyone.

When Ron saw all the Winchesters creased brows he instantly thought of Dean, _'Dean been mouthing off again? He's gonna pay for that when I get my hands on him!'_

"Hey, I'm Ron, here to pick up Dean," he smiled then was let in the house by John. "Dean kiddo you ready to go?" he asked and instead of sounding chirpy or happy to see his nephew, he sounded slimy and creepy, it even sent shivers down Sam's back."You gonna thank these nice people for letting you stay here kid?" he asked and his dad had fallen for the nice guy talk far too easily for Sam's liking. The kid could tell the way Ron was speaking to Dean it was a warning, not a nice guy, '_thank these people Dean then we can go on our jolly way.'_

"Thank you for letting me stay here Mr and Mrs Winchester," Dean said almost robotically as he lowered his eyes to the floor.

Both Mary and John were shocked, Dean had actually spoken to them!

"No problem kid, come back anytime."

"Don't be a stranger sweetie," Mary smiled then gave him a quick peck on the cheek that made Dean want to cry then and there.

"Thanks again," Ron nodded, he put his arm round Dean like they were buddies then walked out the door.

Sam looked over at John, pleading him, begging his dad to do something!

"Hey...so you got a new job lined up yet?"

Sam breathed a sigh of relief when the man stopped and turned to answer John.

"No not yet but-"

"Well you know I got a spare place going at my garage, you know much about cars?"

"Actually yeah."

'_What's this guy playing at?' _Ron asked himself and squinted at the little bratty kid in the house that was glaring daggers at him.

"You got the job then, start 8am sharp Monday morning."

"Wh-"

Sam crossed his toes and hoped this worked and John could see the desperation in his boy's eyes so once again he cut Ron off and pushed him towards taking the job, or fake job rather.

"The pays great and the hours are good, you could earn some cash to maybe buy Dean some new clothes while you're here huh?"

Sam breathed a sigh of relief his dad had seen past the act.

"Dean you like the sound of staying here for a few more weeks?" Ron asked looking down at the kid. "Dean!" he snapped sharply like his nephew was shocking him with the silence that John saw as ignorance the other day.

"Y-yes sir," he nodded after flinching.

"Good, its settled then, I wish you could both stay here but we only have one spare room, there's a great motel right up the street though," Mary said in a sweet calming voice that helped Dean somehow.

"Why thank you Mrs Winchester, come on Dean, we better go find this motel and make ourselves at home."

"By Dean," Sam mumbled, his toes curled at the thought of what this man was going to do to Dean when they left.

Dean nodded and was led out of the house by his uncle.

"You better pray for your life when we get outa here son," he hissed in his ear then forcefully rammed Dean into the car door.

Sam was watching from the living room window and gasped when Dean hit the side of the car, it would have gone unnoticed by most people because Dean composed himself so quickly and got in the car like that didn't just happen. Sam gave him a quick wave as they pulled out and despite the glass reflections Sam could see the shire terror on Dean's face right now.

Sam would have loved to run up stairs but his injuries that still annoyed him were well...annoying him so he chose to walk up the steps and to his room where he'd hid something of Dean's.

It was a pendant symbol thing from the bed side table he knew Dean would need or want back, so he could later say, _'hey mom look what Dean left, we should go take it to him.'_ Then they would hopefully walk in on the man about to hit Dean, he really hated that he wanted to walk in on a beating but it was the only way he could get his parents to believe him. That Ron was just too nice that even his dad was fooled.

But he couldn't go yet, he wanted to, but he was sure Dean wouldn't even be at the motel right now so he would wait a few hours, and hopefully his mom and dad would drive to the motel straight away.

_**SPN**_

He got bored and the tension was making his legs walk circles in his room as he held Dean's chain in his hand and watched the clock tick by slowly.

_5 minutes...._

_10 minutes......_

_15 minutes.........._

_30 minutes.............._

_34 minutes.................. _

By this point his mom had asked if he was okay and did he want to get something nice for dinner. He said no thank you then went back to pacing.

_46 minutes......................._

_53 minutes................................_

_1 hour and 2 minutes............................._

"Mom, dad! Dean forgot his necklace thing, can we go take it to him?" he yelled running down the steps.

"Not right now Sammy, we'll take it in the morning," his mom said filling the washing machine.

"Please?" he begged using his puppy eyes.

"I thought you said you were fine earlier?" she asked frowning.

"I was but...I got bored and wandered round the house then saw this on the floor."

She sighed, when he said he was fine and he didn't need anything or want to go anywhere she started doing the washing which she was just in the middle of and knew if she stopped now it wouldn't get done.

"Sam I'm busy sweetheart, ask your dad what he's doing if you're that bored."

He nodded then ran to find his dad who was sitting on the sofa watching some old western.

"Dad Dean left this, can we go take it to him at the motel?" he asked sweetly tugging at his dads strings.

"When this is finished," his dad said not taking his eyes off the screen.

Sam looked at the clock, _1 hour and 4 minutes........................._

"Dad please, I'm bored, it'll only take like 10 minutes."

His dad took a few minutes to sigh then he stood and pushed his boots on making Sam very happy.

"Thanks dad," he smiled then went to go put his own shoes on and they left the house after telling Mary they wouldn't be long.

_**SPN**_

"Get the hell in there!"

Dean didn't even nod, he just walked in the motel room as ordered and waited.

"So, I did some research on the way here...turns out 3 victims got killed this week by a vamp, happen to know anything about that Dean?!"

"N-no sir," Dean stuttered backing away from the angry man.

"Are you sure? Cos I seem to recall telling you to not get anybody killed this week!"

Dean failed to speak so Ron raised his right hand and gave the boy a hard swack across the cheek making him grunt before he answered, "s-sorry sir."

"Sorry? You think sorry gets me my sister back you little freak!" he yelled then tossed a fist at Dean's cheek making the boy cry out in shock and land on the floor with the blow, "YOU THINK SORRY MEANS JACK SQUAT TO THOSE DEAD PEOPLE?!! YOU THINK YOUR MOTHER CAN HEAR YOUR DAMN SORRIES?!!" he screamed kicking Dean in the ribs and in his face. He tried to block the boot coming at him, he really did, but he just couldn't find it in him anymore to help himself, so he laid there and took it, watched every fist and every kick coming at him hard. He didn't even try to beg for his life anymore. "TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!!" Ron roared when he saw Dean close to passing out, he couldn't let that happen, he needed this freak awake to feel pain.

Dean coughed and spat his blood and saliva out on the carpet before pushing himself up and unbuttoning his already ripped shirt. He tried to keep his sobs in as his movements sent white hot paint through his cracked ribs and thank fully it didn't take long till his shirt was off as told.

"Turn around," Ron hissed pulling Dean up by what little hair he had and forcing the boy up against the wall where he did all he could to keep his legs from buckling knowing Ron wouldn't be happy with that. "Right, now I'd say three victims gets you three marks don't you?!"

Dean again kept his mouth shut, if he opened his lips then sobs would come out and that would make things even worse.

"You want four?!!" Ron growled raising his foot again like he was going to kick Dean again.

"N-nnoo -s s-s-ir-r," Dean shivered swallowing his screams as he prepared for three marks this time.

"You scream, and I'll cut your tongue out understand boy?"

Dean nodded and bit his cheek as tears streamed down his cheeks. He could smell the cigar burning and knew it was coming quick this time, he was sure if that was better or worse.

"Mmhhmmggg!!" he yelled with a tightly shut jaw when Ron burned a long line on his back with his own version of a cattle brand...and another...and one more in a diagonal across the new ones and 2 older ones.

He was allowed to drop to the floor where he sobbed and tried to go numb.

"That's 25 on your tally now, and if you don't stop getting poor innocent people killed, I'm going to start branding their names into your chest do you hear me?"

Dean's heart breaking sobs were taken as a yes and Ron pulled the boy up, then tossed him in the bathroom where he yelled him to get cleaned up, and maybe drown in the bathtub if he was feeling, 'man enough,' today.

'_Please let me die...please let me die!'_ he begged as he lay on the cold tile floor and didn't make any effort to move, he just wanted to die already.

When he was with the nice family things didn't seem so bad when he looked back at times like these, but when he was in the middle of the pain, the misery, the agony, he remembered how bad it was, he knew how much he wanted to die. And this time was different, he could see himself strolling out the bathroom this time and walking round with his less pissed uncle like everything was just fine pretending times like these didn't happen. He was sick of the vicious circle and he just wanted to die.

"Oh hey guys what are doing here?"

"Hey we brought back Dean's necklace chain thing he left," he heard a familiar voice say.

'_John, it's John...oh god please find me, please, please, please."_

"Oh, he was looking for that, well I'll tell him you stopped by, he's in the bathroom right now, not feeling too well, I think he might be coming down with something."

'_The only thing I'm coming down with is the need to scream right now.'_

"Right well we best be off, come on Sammy I got a film to watch, see you Monday man," he heard John say and footsteps treaded further away from the door he had locked behind and he knew his life was about to end, Ron was either gonna kill him soon, or he was going to spare the man time and do it himself.

It was official...he was going to die...and he didn't even care to be afraid anymore.

_**TBC...**_

**Dun Dun Dun!**

**Please you guys say thank you and your love to my beta, a not so nice review has made her incredibally upset this week, it was asking if I had a beta cos some of my grammer was bad or something, so she has taken this very hard and asking some of us (the gang that she beta's) if they want to find a new one, this is how upset she is!! and i am soo mad!!**

**She does an amzing job and not at just the FF stuff, she is an amazing person and helped me through some really hard times. **

**Please tell her she is amazing!!! Bia1007!!!! love you!!!!**


	5. Hush, it's okay, dry your eyes

**okay, I corrected the tally number, and I want to thank you all for the love to Bia, she is very happy now!! :D thank you soo much gugga who I can't thank personally, love you all!! cheers!! mwah x Right now I am gutted!! Dude!! have u seen the new epi?!! omg!!! *sobs!* **

**Hush, it's okay, dry your eyes**

It was official...he was going to die...and he didn't even care to be afraid anymore.

"_Dean, baby get up...please honey...get up, they can help you, just scream or move or do something, please Dean."_

"M-mom?" he choked.

"_Baby get up, scream, yell, call for help, you can do it love, just call for help, you're not gonna die today, not today, PLEASE honey get up."_

"C-ca- urt...s," he sobbed barely raising his voice above a whisper.

"_I know, I know, but Dean, just call for help...let them help you baby, they can help you, it won't hurt anymore I promise you."_

Dean looked up at the beautiful blonde glowing angel standing over him and reached out to trace her face.

"_You can do it love, you can,"_ she cooed cupping his cheek.

He nodded as tears of hope streamed down his black and blue cheeks, he couldn't be a failure to him mom for a second time, he couldn't let her down, he had to trust her, he had to call for help.....

"H-..." he tried but he just couldn't.

"_You can do it Dean, hush, it's okay baby, it's gonna be okay, just trust me, I know you can do it, dry those tears baby, deep breathes, try again it's okay,"_ she smiled cooing him as she ran her hand over his hair coaching him to call louder.

"H-...h-help-p," he choked then let out a long cough and looked to his mother for more guidance, but she was gone, the only thing she left being her warmth.

He heard mumbling of men talking, he prayed one of them would help him.

"J-John...h-help!" he yelled before coughing up half his lungs once again.

"Dean buddy just stay in the bathroom, I don't wanna have to explain to the motel staff why there's puke in the middle of the floor."

It was Ron, the man sent raging waves through him but at the same time, sent total blind fear through his veins. But he couldn't give up, he could lay there and be scared...he had to believe him mom, just because...well she was his mom.

He took in one last deep breath, listening to his mothers echoes; he closed his eyes, then yelled, "H-HELP M-MEEEE!!"

"Dean?" John asked completely shocked at the terrifying scream. He pushed Sam behind him and watched Ron suspiciously, he moved towards the bathroom pushing his son along with him and treaded carefully towards the door. "What's going on here? And why the hell is that shirt covered in blood?" John asked only now seeing Dean's ripped stained garment in the corner of the room.

"He drank a lot of cherry soda before he puked," Ron said and it was almost believable.

"Dean, son you okay in there?"

"H-help...p-ple-ase, d-don't wanna die h-here," he sobbed clawing for the door handle he couldn't even kinda reach.

"He always was a drama queen," Ron laughed but John had enough of the shit so he turned the door handle and pushed Sam inside while he took care of the douche.

"Dean!" Sam yelled when he saw the bloody mess on the floor.

"Sam?! How's he looking?!" John asked needing to know what had got his son so scared.

"D-Dean...he...it's bad dad, it's really bad," Sam cried kneeling down to feel if Dean was still breathing.

"...k-kid?" he coughed making Sam gasp in relief.

"Yeah, uh...it's me, Sam...w-what can I do?" the boy stuttered trying to block out his dads grunts from the other side of the door, he hoped and prayed to god his dad was winning.

"-othin...m'g-good now," Dean choked, smiling as his eyes rolled back and he let himself feel safe for the first time in 10 years.

"No Dean, wake up, please, please I don't know what to do, you need to tell me what to do," Sam said trying to be as strong as Dean was yesterday when the roles were reversed.

But he was just too scared to handle it, when he was hurt...it was easy, being in pain and letting someone help you was easy, listening to them coach you to stay awake was easy, listening to your parents worry about if you would rip your stitches or remembered to take your antibiotics on time was undeniably easy, sitting in bed over night in hospital thinking about how to return the favour was a little harder though overall not too changeling...but watching someone you owed your life to die in front of your very eyes was NOT even in the vicinity of easy.

Sam sobbed even louder when he saw the fresh burns on Dean's back, "oh god... y-y-you have three more...why did he do that again...Dean? Why did he do that?" The poor distraught boy wasn't getting any answers and he was petrified, he knew his dad was strong, he knew his dad was tough, but he thought Dean was tough...and look what happened to him because of that man out there.... "Dad! DAD! PLEASE HURRY! DAD PLEASE!"

_**SPN**_

John heard his baby's petrified cries and knew it had to be bad if he was so worked up and screaming so much, he knew he needed to give this pathetic excuse for a man a taste of his own medicine and he got just the push off the edge of sanity he needed when Ron laughed at his sons pain.

He growled loud then charged at the evil animal and allowed himself to go wild.

"YOU SICK FUCK! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THAT POOR KID TO MAKE HIM SO SCREWED UP?!! YOU LAUGH AT MY BOYS CRIES?!! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO FUCKING CRY YOU WORTHLESS SHIT!!!" John yelled as he pinned the man and beat his face in with is knuckles and he let the guilt take over and turned it into rage.

He knew it all made sense now, why Dean was so silent, why Dean was so dead, why he looked ignorant when in actual fact it was just his way of hiding the pain and to keep from breaking every second of the day, it all made so much sense.

"YOU SICK EVIL MONSTER! I SWEAR YOU BETTER HOPE THE PRISON WARDS WHERE YOU'RE GOING PUT YOU IN SOLITARY PERMANENTLY OR I'LL PERSONALLY MURDER YOUR MOTHER AND GET LOCKED UP MYSELF JUST SO I CAN FINISH YOU OFF!!"

Soon Ron was unconscious under his fist so he rammed the man's head back to the floor just to be sure he was out good and proper before he dragged him across the stained motel carpet and tied him to the bed with Ron's own belt.

"Sick asshole," he grunted before he kicked him one last time then stood wiping his blooded hands and going to the bathroom.

He heard Sam sobbing still from inside the bathroom and it broke his heart, he knew there was nothing he could do to prepare himself for the sight he was about to see, the state of the boy that saved his bay's life, the sight of his little Sammy crying and begging for Dean to wake up.

He took a deep breath then knocked on the door, "Sammy open up, it's okay." But Sam wouldn't stop crying long enough to register it was his dad banging in the door so he carried on, "it's just me buddy, it's okay, you're safe kiddo, Dean's safe I promise, just let my in and I can help," he cooed and after a few more wails he heard the door lock click open and he rushed inside skidding to his knees. "Oh god Dean what the hell did we let him do to you?" John gasped seeing all the blood and all the black bruises that covered the poor boy, he looked so young right now, he looked so hurt.

"D-daddy?" Sammy whimpered and John's heart stopped, it had been a long long time since Sam had called him daddy, he must be scared of out his mind.

"He's gonna be okay champ, he's gonna be just fine, we'll take him to the hospital and they'll patch him up good as new," John swallowed his own tears as he picked Dean up and ran out to car, Sammy close in tow. "Sorry kiddo," he whispered when Dean moaned in his unconscious state as he set him over Sam's lap the told his boy to hold Dean's head carefully.

_**SPN**_

John and Sam were now in the waiting room, they had talked to the police, they had been told they may have to speak in court if Ron pleaded not guilty but John wouldn't be charged with anything as it was all in self defence.

Poor Sam had yet to stop crying, the boy could handle, field first aid, several stitches and a stranger attacking and cutting him just fine, but the sight he saw on that bathroom floor would haunt him forever.

John held his son in his lap, he was humming a random Metallica tune in his ear trying to sooth him, rocking him in his lap like he used to do when he was a little boy, which is what he looked like right now, you wouldn't believe he was almost 10, you would think he was closer to barely 6 right now.

"All my fault," Sam said, speaking for the first time in hours, and John turned to lift his youngsters head from his chest to ask him what he meant. "I w-waited too long...I didn't try had enough to tell you and mom, I'm sorry, daddy I'm sorry," Sam cried and just when fellow visitors in the waiting room thought he was done, the poor child stabbed their chests when the wails upped a notch once again and John was left to cradle his son tightly as people stared.

"It's not your fault Sammy, it's not I can promise you, you did everything and more, it's me that should be sorry, I didn't listen kiddo and I'm so sorry, I promise from now on, I'll always listen."

"...Is Dean gonna die?" Sam asked sniffling a few times after.

"No, no he's gonna be fine, and you know what, after this he isn't gonna be able to go back to his uncle-"

"He's gonna have no one, he told me if he didn't have his uncle he had no one, it's all my fault, he's gonna be all alone now in a foster home and it's all my fault."

"No, god no Sammy, I was saying...if Dean agrees, and I'm sure your mom will...he's coming to live with us...we can help him get better kiddo, we're gonna do this right," John promised.

"B-but you said he was rude."

"Yeah well...I was wrong, I'm the rude one, I didn't see the pain he was in and you did, I'm so proud of kiddo," he then let his son cry softly into his chest as he wore himself out and soon dropped off.

"John! John where is he?! John?!" he heard Mary yell from afar so he waved her over and she breathed a sigh of relief, well...half. "Is Sammy okay? D-Dean?" she rushed wiping her tears.

"Sammy's fine, physically," John told her.

"I-I-I got a call that said come to the hospital because you three were in a violent altercation, what does that mean?! Where's Dean?!" she half yelled making Sam stir.

"I'll explain everything later, um...I'm gonna go get some coffee," John mumbled passing Sam over onto Mary's lap as she sat next to them.

"John wha-" she started but John walked off too soon for her to finish and she was too worried about Sam to raise her voice over the waiting room and wake her sleeping angel.

_**SPN**_

John walked away from the room that was slowly getting smaller and suffocating him by the second.

He hated he was too weak to even stay with Mary and Sam right now, but he just couldn't, he was so mean to Dean, this poor child, a child! Just like the one he had in his arms seconds ago. He was screaming out for attention, to be noticed, to be saved, all those 'rude' looks, all the sniggers when they were playing happy family, it was all because the poor boy was so broken he couldn't even stand the site of the joy they had in their home.

'_I just yelled at him, holy crap I pinned him to the floor and yelled in his face! I threatened to beat him myself! I freakin petrified the poor kid who was being abused! Beaten within an inch of his life for god knows how long and I yelled and called him names! I'm worse than his uncle!'_

"Mr Winchester?" someone from behind him asked and put a hand on his shoulder that he had to flinch away from. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, I just came to tell you Dean's out of surgery, you can see him now if you like," the sweet doctor said, low and gentle when she saw his distress.

"I threatened him," he whispered turning his red eyes to hers.

"Excuse me?" she asked gently, not knowing what he was talking about.

"He was being abused and I threatened to do the same," he gasped out as he sunk down the wall he was leaning on.

"Mr Winchester I'm sure-"

"John?" he heard Mary say and he knew this was one of his worst nightmares, his wife seeing him cry and hearing him confess his sins to some stranger. "John, we didn't know, I'm just as much to blame, I told Sam I didn't want to bother CPS, that I was too busy to go to the motel, that Dean would have to stop the abuse himself if he wanted to, I'm just as much to blame John."

"Mary I-"

"D-dad?" Sam asked so he was forced to look up then. "Can we go see Dean now?" he pleaded, his hand held out so he could pull his dad up from his slumped position on the floor.

"Yeah...sure champ, we can go see Dean right?" John said sucking up his self pity as he mostly pulled himself up but let Sam do some of the work when the boy grasped his dad's hand in both of his.

"Well, I really shouldn't let all of you go in and see him, or any of you because technically none of you are family, but seeing as Dean was terrified going into surgery and calling out for you all, Sam, Mary and John right?" they all nodded, "And he was calling out for 'Mom', and I know from the information the police had, she and his biological father died when he was 7 so I think it would be in his best interests for you to all go and see him, just to reassure him he's not alone," the doctor said trying to keep in her own ears as she looked down at poor Sammy who was still letting water run from his eyes.

"T-thank you, thank you so much," John breathed shaking her hand she didn't even offer, it was a miracle she wasn't calling the police on him after what he just said and how it came out, she had to be a god send because she was letting them all go in and see Dean.

"You're welcome, now are we going to see Dean or what?" she smiled then led them to the surgical paediatric ward and told them what to expect when they walk in, her basic sum up was lots of wires to monitor Dean, and lot's of bandages to cover up the extensive swelling and cuts Ron's boots made on his skin.

She let John go in first, then Sam and Mary as the kid wouldn't let go of his mother's hand.

"D-Dean?" Sam asked when all he heard was bleeping and all he saw was black blooded bruises, a long thick tube down Dean's throat and white bandages making him look more like a mummy than the super hero he saw him as the other day.

"He'll be okay baby, just needs time to heal that's all," Mary promised as she stroked her thumb on her baby's hand and prayed she was right.

"I'll leave you be, mom or dad, one of you can stay when visiting hours are over but I'm afraid my hands are tied for Sam and the other parent."

"Thanks, for everything...thank you so much," John gasped again.

"Thank you," Mary smiled teary.

Sam let go of his moms hand and in flash ran to the doctor giving her a tight hug as he looked up then whispered, "thank you for saving my hero."

"You're welcome honey, now go look after your hero, make him proud to call you his hero too," she smiled then pushed Sam back to his parents then left with a smile, it was always nice to be able to help a lovely family like that every once in a while...if only everyone that came though these halls were as sweet and caring as them, the world would be a much nicer place.

_**SPN**_

"Dean? Dean baby you waking up?"

'_Mom?'_

"Dean honey open your eyes, you can do it, I know you can, come on sweetie."

'_Mom? Where are you? Mom?'_

"Dean, that's it, come on, open your eyes for us champ."

'_Dad? Dad is that you? Mom? Dad? Where are you guys? Why does my head hurt?...why does everything hurt?...M-mom? Dad?...I-I'm scared...I'm scared now...please come out.'_

"Dean? My dad beat Ron's ass...you don't have to be scared of him anymore, and I promise to not steal from you again if you wake up."

'_Okay, what the hell is this?! MOM! DAD! Where am I?!'_

"Okay I think that's enough excitement for one day, you guys should go home, Dean needs to rest, you three can come back tomorrow."

'_What?! NO! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!'_

"Wait, come back over here to the bed," he heard some guy say and when he felt the warm hands thread through his again Dean let himself calm down.

"Huh...looks like somebody doesn't want you to leave."

'_Please don't leave...please, please, please, please don't leave me.'_

"Dean, we won't leave...I double promise."

'_Double promise? Double promise?...where have I heard that before?...double promise...'_

---

"I promise I'll come back."

"You double promise?"

"Yeah, sure kid, I double promise."

_---_

'_Double promise?...Kid?...Sam?"_

"None of us are leaving kiddo, we'll stay right here till you get better," he heard a man say, he would usually be shaking with a strong male voice talking towards him usually, but this time...he felt hope when the man talked, and he didn't think he had to be scared anymore. "Take your time champ, everything will be better when you wake up..."

**TBC...**


	6. Tears for Fears

**Tears for Fears**

"Well I'm afraid the CPS have said when he's well enough, he has to go to the nearest foster care home."

'_What?! I ain't going in no freakin foster home! No way! I'd rather live on the street!'_

"He can come with us."

'_I can?'_

"Dean needs a stable loving home, we can provide that for him, we can help him get back on his feet."

"It's no walk in the park Mrs Winchester, Dean will be rebellious, he'll need constant reassurance-"

'_I'm beaten, not dumb you ass.'_

"He may even, most likely strike out when he's angry, if not now, then in years to come."

'_Oh no way! I wouldn't hit anyone on purpose! I'm not Ron! I'm not! I swear I'm not!!' _

"Dean? Baby you waking up?"

'_No! I'm __freaking __out!! And I'm shit pissed and I want to know what the hell is going on already!...I just want my mom and dad!'_

"Dean, open your eyes sweetie, come on you can do it."

'_I don't want to!'_

"D-Dean?...please wake up...please I'm sorry he hurt you...I'm sorry I couldn't help, please just wake up...?"

"Sammy it's not your fault sweetheart, stop saying that, I'm sure Dean doesn't blame you."

'_Blame him for what?' _

"Doc this isn't up for anymore discussion, we're taking Dean home with us and we're gonna get the kid better."

'_Get better from what?! I swear of someone doesn't tell me what's going on right now-...okay, why can't I breathe?...okay before I was mad...now I'm just scared.......oh god I'm gonna die painfully aren't I? That's my fate...I'm gonna die...and it's gonna hurt...oh god my head...uuh my chest...some-bod-dy h-help m-me!! P-plea-se!'_

"Dean, Dean I need you to take big calming breaths for me...big deep breathes and let the machine work for you okay..."

'_Work for me?! It's freaking choking me!!'_

"Dean**,** baby you need to let the doctor help you."

"Dean, kid, listen to the man, we're so sorry for letting this happen to you but you need to trust us now."

'_No, I don't want to! Just leave me alone! All of you leave me alone!!'_

"D-Dean?...Dean what can I do to help you not be scared?" a little kid asked pushing all the others out of his face and floppy hair came into his line of vision.

"Sam keep talking to him buddy, I think it's helping," he heard John say in a happy tone and Dean wondered why, John hated him right?

'_Why the hell can't I remember anything?!'_

"Dean, you how you saved me...I'm- I'm gonna save you, I didn't before but I'm gonna try better now, I swear..."

"Okay, Dean-" the doctor cut himself off when he saw the heart monitor attached to Dean was beeping faster again.

Sam saw he was panicking again so he smiled then held Dean's swollen hand.

"My mom says you can come to live with us...like always from now on."

'_Really?!'_

"And my dad said we can go to a football game together sometime...but only if you want they said, but I really want you to...cos then I can make it up to you and learn how to save you like you saved me...and then maybe you won't hate me anymore for butting in and messing up your life. I'm sorry about getting you in trouble...and I know you said you have no one but...maybe in a bit...or a long long time, you can know you have me and my mom and my dad so you don't have to be sad or feel alone anymore."

Sam had rambled that much, his parents would have stopped him by now and told him he should stop blaming himself, even Dean looked upset for the boy as he looked up at him, but the distraction of Sam's blabbering had diverted Dean so much, and Sam for that matter, that neither of the boys seemed to notice Dean didn't have a tube down his throat now and he was being raised up on the bed as the doctor worked silently around them.

"Sammy, breathe honey," Mary soothed as she ran a hand through his hair making his rambles stop. Dean was coughing now he'd registered where he was and what was going on for the most part, then frowned as John and Mary smiled at him and Sam started crying, he didn't understand, he was at a total loss!

"W-wi-rs...w-where's my m-mom?" Dean asked looking at all the faces round the bed, trouble was, everyone but the person he wanted and needed so desperately was there...and he knew, ever though he asked, he knew she couldn't come and was never going to come. He was all alone.

"Get some sleep buddy, we'll be here waiting, don't worry about anything okay," John said after handing him a few ice chips then tucking the boy in and comforting him towards sleep as Mary comforted their own son and helped him close his eyes too. "Sweet dreams boys," John smiled when soon they both were out and the room went quiet.

"You think this is going to work out?" Mary asked as she rocked her son like he was a little boy again.

"Everything will be fine Mary...you're the one who said always have faith."

"I thought you didn't believe in that?" she smirked.

"Yeah well...maybe I'm changing my mind after this. God knows we're gonna have to think positive if we wanna get this kid better...who knows what the dick has done to him over the years...and I don't just mean physically."

_**SPN**_

'_Holy crap who the hell has put a 20 ton slab on my chest?'_

"Dean, can you open your eyes for me?"

'_Sure, and while I'm at it why don't I give you a manicure and a facial.' _

"Dean?"

'_Didn't you hear me? That means get fucked!'_

"Okay, I'll leave it for now."

'_Leave?! What do __you__ mean leave?!' _

"Oh, hey there, nice to see those eyes open."

'_Eyes open? I can only see out of one...and barely out of the other!'_

"Dean I need you to follow this light okay?"

'_OW!!!'_

Dean yanked his head away from the burning glare and whimpered into his pillow.

"I know it hurts Dean but jut bare with me okay? Just hang on," the doctor said pealing his swollen right eye open once again.

'_OW OW OW OW!!!!'_

"Okay now the other," she said flicking her pen light at his other eye. "Okay, well you might have some stinging for a few days but you don't have a concussion so that's very good."

'_Easy for you to say!'_

The doctor left with a smile and Dean still felt awfully unsettled.

"Dean? Sweetie you with us now?"

"M-m-?"

"Yeah, it's me, Mary."

His heart sunk and a stray tear fell from his half good eye.

"Dean, buddy, if you up to staying awake for just a few minutes..."

'_Oh god what's he want now? Let me guess, 'you ignorant little shit, you deserve this pain.' Okay, let's hear it...'_

"I want to apologize, we both do...we're sorry for being so blind and ignorant to your pain, we didn't know your uncle was such a monster and if we did, believe me son we would have done everything in our power to help you. Sam tried to tell us...hell even I got a weird vibe from that dick and we still didn't listen, I guess we just thought it was so awful that we didn't want to imagine it**,** so we pretended like nothing was wrong and it was all down to bad parenting and you just being a rude child...but, I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry for threatening you and I'm sorry for being so out of line."

'_Oookkaayy...that's a new one.'_

"So...if you'll let us, then we'd like to make it up to you by asking you to be our foster son," Mary said holding his hand in hers.

"Wh...ah...uh?" was all Dean got out through his swollen throat.

"You don't have to decide everything right now...Sam told us you said you had no one besides your uncle but maybe somewhere there's a grandparent that you would rather stay with?"

"N-no..." Dean shook his throbbing head at her.

"We're sorry honey, we really are," she cupped his face and he flinched, she was about to apologize again but when she felt him lean into the warmth of her palm she left it there and smiled teary at him.

"Is that a maybe?" John asked from the other side of the bed.

Dean didn't answer, he couldn't take his eyes off Mary, she was so much like his mother and between all the pain meds and the floating feeling he now had, he didn't care that he was partially imagining she was his real mom.

"Sam's asleep, can you tell us what happened?" Mary asked**,** telling Dean he shouldn't feel self conscious or scared he was going to put fear into their son by telling his story. But she was slightly disappointed when he shook his head and looked away from her towards the window.

"We can open it if you like? It's a nice day, sunny," John said walking to the shut blinds.

Dean shrugged then looked away from them and left his eyes drifting over the white bedding he had round him.

"Do you want the TV on?" Mary suggested trying to make him feel better with small talk.

"You like reading books? We can bring some in for you if you like? Sam has tons."

'_Yeah, thanks for rubbing that in.' _

"Dean? Sweetie are you okay? We can leave if you want?" Mary asked.

Dean immediately shook his head and leaned forward grabbing her wrist, begging her not to leave him there.

"Okay, okay, calm down, we won't leave honey, it's okay, sshh, it's okay," she cooed running her hand through his short hair till he settled and the bleeping heart monitor slowed down. "Lie back down honey," she said pushing him back to the bed as he hissed at his injuries.

"I can go if you want? My best guess is I'm not exactly on the Christmas list right now huh kid?" John asked when he saw how Dean seemed to cling to Mary, not that he blamed the kid, everybody loved her, she just had that motherly loving way about her.

Dean looked over at the tall man then something flashed in his mind...

"_YOU SICK FUCK! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THAT POOR KID TO MAKE HIM SO SCREWED UP?!!"_

"Y-you saved me?" he whispered, it being the highest volume his voice could reach right now.

"Yeah kid, guess I needed to return the favour for saving our Sammy," John grinned, happy Dean wasn't petrified of him.

"W-where is he?" Dean asked then grimaced when he needed to swallow the fear.

At first John was about to ask where was who? But when he saw the fear he knew who Dean meant.

"Gone away...for a long long time, and he won't ever come near you or any other child if I have anything to say about it."

"W-why are you...helping me...all of a sudden?"

"Cos you didn't deserve anything that evil man did to you, and we need to make it up to you for treating you so poorly," Mary answered.

Dean shrugged, he didn't know how to tell them heck yeah he deserved every punch and more.

"What is it honey?" Mary asked wiping a tear from Dean's eye once again.

"K-kid?"

"Sam? You wanna know where Sam is?" John asked and Dean nodded ever so slightly.

Mary smiled at her husband then moved, she still held Dean's hand like she was telling him she wasn't leaving, and when Dean looked over behind where she just was, there Sam was, his hair was all over the place and he was snoring like there was no tomorrow.

"He can sleep anywhere," John laughed making Dean snort then whimper as even the slight tug on his body made it hurt.

"Why don't we get the doctor back in here and she give you something huh?"

He shook his head and held on tighter to Mary's hand.

"Dean sweetie, you can't sit here in pain, let the doctor help you okay?"

He grunted in misery but kept quiet and didn't fuss as John went to get the doctor and she came in pushing a syringe of something through his IV then leaving seconds after telling Dean he should feel better soon.

"That feel better sweetheart?" Mary asked when his eyes started to droop.

He nodded as his head swayed back down into the pillow.

John and Mary both smiled as he drifted off.

_**SPN**_

"You promise he wasn't mad?" Sam asked rocking on his chair nervously.

"No Sammy, he wasn't mad, he was just scared okay, so you need to make sure not to say anything silly, got it?" Mary said.

"I won't...so he wasn't mad at us?" Sam asked yet again.

"No Sammy, he wasn't mad, and besides, if the next time he wakes up he is, then that's because of us, not you. So stop blaming yourself and let me and your dad worry about that okay?"

"Okay," Sam nodded sighing hard. "Mom he's awake!" Sam cheered when he looked over at the bed and saw Dean watching them.

"Sam, inside voice**,** okay?" Mary scolded when Dean winced at the volume.

"Sorry Dean," Sam pouted and Dean smiled, _'where was this kid when I was having some shitty days a few months ago? He could have really lightened up the situation just by cheering.' _

"Dean, you feeling better, son?" John asked.

Dean shrugged then looked down.

"You want me to get the doctor again?" Mary asked and Dean shook his head.

"Dean it's important to tell us if you're in pain champ."

He shrugged again, mostly like he really didn't care, which at this moment in time, he didn't.

Mary nodded to her husband telling to go get the doctor.

"Dean? Does it hurt?" Sam asked shuffling his chair closer to his mom and Dean who were right next to each other.

"Sam!" Mary scolded, she had just told him to be careful what he asked.

"S-sorry," the boy whispered looking down.

"Its...It's okay," Dean grimaced once again making Sam get out the worried puppies.

"Dean, this is Dr. Tracy, Dr. Tanner's shift ended so he's taking over the day shift, that okay kid?" John asked kindly.

Dean nodded but when he saw the guy in the room, he went tense and shuffled away to the far end of the bed, he wasn't so keen on the last one, but this doc just took the mick!

"I don't like him either," Sam whispered to Dean's ear so only he could hear.

"Hello Dean, how are feeling?" the guy asked walking in and blocking John from Dean which made him tense up even more.

He decided on not answering, he didn't really wanna speak to John or Mary, and only did when he had to, no way was he talking to this guy! He was friggin' creepy!

"Dean? Can you hear me?" the guy asked mistaking Dean's silence for deafness.

"He doesn't like speaking to people," Sam said in his defence but it made him ashamed Ron had made him so scared that a 9 year old had to stick up for him.

Instead of being understanding, the doctor huffed like Dean was wasting his time.

"Do you mind? A little sympathy and bed side manner would be nice thanks," John growled making Dean flinch even though it was for his sake.

"Dean**,** can you lie flat for me? I'd like to check your ribs," the doctor said a little more sympathetic.

Dean shuffled down with the help of Mary and waited stiff for the doctor to come closer.

"Just calm down sweetie, nobody in this room is going to hurt you," Mary promised holding his hand once again as the doc pulled Dean's covers down.

"Could you leave to give Dean a little privacy?"

"Come on Sammy, let's go get some caffeine," John said pushing his son from the room when he saw Dean's uncomfortable shuffling.

"But-"

"Now," John said firm.

"This might hurt a little okay?" the doc said warning the kid as he pushed the hospital gown up and went to feel Dean's ribs.

"Mmmgg!" he yelped from a tight jaw when he pressed on a particularly painful one.

"Oh, sorry," the doctor said then felt around a little more as Mary worked on calming him. "Can you turn on your side so I can take a look at your back?"

Dean growled low in throat, it hurt but when the doctor backed off afraid it was worth it.

"Son, if you don't cooperate then I'm going to sedate you."

"You are going to do no such thing, Dean's petrified right now so show a little compassion for the poor boy!" Mary yelled rubbing Dean's shaking arm up and down. "Dean sweetie, you don't have to be embarrassed, I'll help you okay?" Mary said and Dean reluctantly nodded as she helped his turn on his side. He tried all he could to keep the whimpers and cries in but his efforts were unsuccessful.

He could feel the doctor pealing something off his back and he closed his wet eyes knowing what Mary was about to see. He could deal with pain but one thing he hated, was shame.

He heard a sharp gasp and the tears started rolling.

"Oh Dean...oh god I'm so sorry, I am so so sorry baby," she cried kneeling down so they were face to face. She soothed him a little with her murmurs and her hand that went through his hair, but he still couldn't help himself sob in silence.

"_That's 25 on your tally now, and if you don't stop getting poor innocent people killed, I'm going to start branding their names into your chest do you hear me?" _

"Maaahh!!" Dean yelled as he started thrashing and reaching for his chest. He could already see his mother's name carved into his chest and he hoped to god that was just a nightmare.

"Dean, Dean calm down, Dean stop!" Mary yelled trying to hold him, calm, and make sure she or the doctor hurt him.

"What happened?!" John yelled rushing in with Sam. He gave the boy his coffee as he went to help out the still screaming Dean.

"NONONONO!!!" he yelled going on his back and not caring how much it hurt as he clawed on the neck of his gown trying to see his chest.

"Dean? Dean what's wrong kiddo, Dean talk to us!" John pleaded holding Dean better and safer than any of the others could.

Dean had finally managed to rip his hospital clothing and was able to see his chest. He let out a long sob when all he saw was deep painful bruises, no words, no names, no burns...just bruises.

"Dean, talk to us son," John said again letting go when he could see the boy was done.

"He said...said...he...chest...he said...h-he..." Dean stuttered before he let himself sob. He had to turn away from Sam and Mary who were also crying, the only other direction being the doctor.

"Dean, it's okay, he can't hurt you anymore, I promise you you're safe."

The doctor cleared his throat, he hadn't a clue what to do, he'd never had a patient like Dean before.

Knowing Dean was worn out but also knowing the boy needed to be cleaned up, John rolled him on his side and held him as the doctor put fresh bandages on his back burns then turned him back over when Dr. Tracy said he needed to make sure Dean hadn't ripped any stitches.

He nodded telling John they were fine, pushing some more meds into Dean's IV while the boy still sobbed then left.

"It's okay Dean, it's okay, just relax buddy," John coached when he saw his wife and son too upset to help.

Soon Dean had cried himself to sleep, numb to everything else around him, only aware of his own pain.

"Oh my god what did that monster do to this poor child?" Mary sobbed gasping at her own son that she couldn't even imagine laying a hand on.

"I told you! I told you about his scars! I told you and you didn't believe me!!" Sam screamed stomping his foot before he ran out of the room.

_**TBC... **_


	7. Does Batman complain about his insecurit

**Does Batman complain about his insecurities?**

"I got him," John said running after his baby boy.

Mary wiped her tears and tried to pull herself back together.

"Sammy, Sammy stop, Sam!" John yelled running and diving through the hospital staff.

"This is all your fault!" Sam yelled turning to face his dad. John felt like he was stabbed in the heart when he saw his sons red eyes and the river flowing from his eyes.

"I know, I know kiddo," was all he could say as he took Sam in his arms and shushed him as he cried.

"You were mean to him! I told you he was hurt and you didn't listen to me!"

"I know Sammy, and I'm so sorry, this is all my fault**,** I know."

"Wh-when will he be better?" Sam asked into his dad's chest when he was done with the sobs.

"I don't know kiddo, but just think of it this way...as awful and mean as it sounds, Dean's been hurt this way lots of times so he'll be really tough and get better really fast."

"Really?" Sam asked hopeful.

"Yeah, would he have been able to scare that person that hurt you if he wasn't tough?"

"N-no," he answered with a sniffle.

"He'll be fine Sammy."

"Just stop being mean to him," Sam ordered.

"I won't ever be mean to him again I promise. Now, let's go back in okay? I'm sure your mom needs a hug right about now."

Sam nodded then pulled away and let his dad lead him back to the room while nurses smiled sympathetically at them both.

_**SPN**_

"Mary's down at the car waiting, you ready to go kiddo?" John asked walking in the room to see Dean trying to dress himself. "You need help there?" he smiled seeing his struggle to use his still bruised hands and arms to pull his shirt on.

John saw the kid go a little red but he tried his best to make it look like it was nothing as he buttoned Dean's shirt for him.

"We tried to get everything back from the motel that you took with you, Mary's tidied a room downstairs and it's fit for a girl, smells all sweet and everything."

Dean nodded once to say he understood but didn't give anything more than that.

"You want this back? Sam admitted he took it," Jon smirked pulling a necklace..._THE_necklace, from his pocket.

Dean's eyes lit up and he practically snatched it from John.

"You want me to help you put it on?" he asked.

Dean shook his head then winced as he put it in his pocket.

"Hey Dean! Dad I got it," Sam grinned hopping in the room with a bag of meds, the lady had told him usually they wouldn't allow kids to take prescriptions for someone else but seeing as he was such a sweet boy and not been a bit of trouble in the week he'd been sticking around almost permanently, she let him take it and made him promise not to tell or she could get into trouble.

"Good job Sammy, okay, so if you're ready we can bust this joint?" John asked Dean who nodded then carefully stood.

"Oh no you don't, park it Mr. Turner," a nurse said coming in with a wheelchair.

'_Oh great! Like this isn't embarrassing enough!'_

"You heard the lady, park it," John said helping Dean down in the chair as he grumbled.

"That looks so cool! Can I have a ride?"

'_You can take my place if you like kid.'_

"No Sammy, be grateful you don't have to ride in one," John said as he took over for the nurse and pushed the chair out of the ward with Sam following close in tow.

"You ready to go sweetie?" Mary asked when she saw her boys approaching. "Sammy did the doctor say your stitches were okay?" she asked knowing she had told her husband to take Sam for a check up while he went in for Dean.

"Yeah, he said I was real bravewhile he took em out and then he gave me a lollypop, it got one for you too, Dean."

His eyes went wide in shock, the kid had got him a lollypop?! It wasn't much, but hell that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for him in years.

"Kid wouldn't leave till the doc gave him two," John snorted.

She held the door open as Sam jumped in then Dean carefully got in still wide eyed.

"You want cola or orange?" Sam asked smiling as he pulled two from his pocket.

"You serious?!" Dean asked a little too overly excited.

"Yeah, pick one."

John and Mary smiled in the front at the boys, Dean hadn't said much, in fact he'd not said anything to them really. Sometimes when Dean was a little better and more aware as the days went on they would leave the hospital room so it was just Sam and Dean alone so they could talk. It seemed to work as every time they left then came back half an hour later, Dean seemed much happier.

Dean reached for the cola then smiled at Sam again.

They both tore the wrappers off in a milli second and were sucking on the pops happily.

"You boys both okay?" Mary asked after a while as she looked in the mirror at them.

"Yeah," Sam nodded happily.

Dean nodded a little nervous but at least he was acknowledging her again.

"What are the plans for the last 2 days off Sammy?" she asked.

"Um...I dunno, will Dean be able to come to my school when he's better?"

'_Oh hell no! School?! You gotta be kidding me!'_

"Dean, sweetie you have to go to school," Mary laughed a little at his grumpy expression, his nose was pulled up and he didn't look all that impressed.

"We'll get all the paper work sorted for this fostering then we'll look into how to get you in school, that seem okay kid?" John suggested**,** so he nodded.

'_School...great, how do I tell them I'm as dumb as pig crap and I dropped out 2 years ago?...Well, 'dropped out' being a stretch...more like beaten out.' _

_**SPN**_

"We thought it might be better if you slept down here for a few days, so..." Mary turned the lights on in the far back room Dean didn't even know they had and vwala! One huge double bed and a lamp and books and a TV... _'Holy crap...why are they doing this for me?'_

"Is it okay? We can move some more stuff down here if you want?"

Dean's mouth flopped open like a fish out of water as he shook his head.

"Some of this stuff is just to make the room look lived in," Mary admitted.

"T-thank you..." Dean gasped, this was more than a room than the other one upstairs, and that was probably more than a room than he'd had in years.

"You're welcome sweetie, why don't you get some sleep," she said cupping his cheek then waving John and Sam away as she turned out the lights and left Dean to have some peace to sleep.

'_God this is ridiculous! I can't even sit in a car for half an hour without needing a nap now. Wonder why they think it would be better for me to be down here for a few days?'_

He walked over to the bed then flopped down, he forgot his injuries and yelped when they were pulled.

"Oh...that's why," he admitted to himself before he pretended he was asleep knowing someone was about to come in.

"Dean you okay honey?" Mary asked coming in when she heard the yell.

She winced when she saw he was fast out so soon.

"Poor baby," she whispered then closed the door again going back to making sure her husband had everything for work.

She asked Sam if he was doing anything, he said no so she said he could come to the shop with her to pick out something's Dean would like and what John would need for work. He wasn't too happy about being tricked but he was dying to see if Dean was okay so he knew if he went out then hopefully by the time he came back Dean would be awake and they could play on one of his games or something.

_**SPN**_

Dean heard them leave...he thought they had all left him...he sighed under his breath...he tried to breathe, relax, think it was better now and they were just going out for a few minutes. He really did try, but it was no use as the water works started and tears of misery and confusion mixing with fear and self loathing streamed down his face.

"Oh Dean..." John gasped when he heard his soft cries. He wasn't sure if the kid wanted a hug or he just needed to let this out.

He walked round the bed and stood there trying to make his mind up...

It all came clear when Dean sat up and launched himself at John.

"Ah kid," he whispered then wrapped his arms round Dean careful of his injuries and rocked him slow as the cries upped a notch, he loved he technically had another son now, but this part of fatherhood, of parenting...he really couldn't ever get used to.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Dean cried.

"Hey, hey you got nothing to be sorry for, nothing," John comforted. He read the other day abused children tend to blame themselves for things even beyond gods control**,** so he really shouldn't be surprised of this but he just couldn't get his head round it.

"I killed them, I killed them all...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I sorry," Dean screamed like he was angry but he didn't let go or start to throw things like the social worker said he might**.**

"Stop Dean, stop, you didn't kill anyone."

"I killed them...I killed my mom and dad............ l-leave me alone...I don't wanna k-kill you too," he cried but again didn't pull away.

"You're not gonna kill anyone, I swear you're safe here, nobody's gonna die," John said holding the boy tight.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..."

"Ssshh, it's okay Dean, you don't have to be, you really don't."

Dean cried himself numb about half an hour later, Sam and Mary still weren't back thankfully.

"Can you tell me what happened?" John asked setting Dean against the four pillows he'd piled up.

The boy had gone back to his silent black hole and refused to answer.

"Dean, you know you can talk to anyone of us okay, anytime you want, just come to us and we'll be there to listen, you don't have to feel alone in this anymore okay, we got your back. And I know he's just a little boy but...Sammy's smart, and he's a good kid as I'm sure you've found out...he'll listen too, we all will, we're all here for you."

He nodded, just barely, so John got the picture.

"Get some sleep kiddo, we'll be here, no one's gonna leave you alone okay?"

Dean blinked**,** then moved down the bed and closed his eyes as told.

'_What if I get Sam and Mary killed...John loves them more than Ron has ever loved my mom...what if John knows how to do worse than Ron? He won Ron in the fight...he's __definitely__ stronger...he will carve the names of people in my chest won't he? I'm screwed...I am so screwed no matter what!' _

_**SPN**_

"Dean, honey, dinner time," Mary said with a hand on his shoulder.

He slowly uncurled himself and whimpered.

"Here, thought you might need these before you thought about doing anything else," she said handing him a few pills and a glass of water.

He thanked her with a blink and she wondered what had made him go quiet again.

"You okay sweetie?"

He nodded and pushed himself up. She wanted him to stay in bed but she also thought getting out of the stuffy room would do him good too**,** so she helped him walk to the table where Sam and John were chatting.

"Hey Dean, are you feeling...better?" Sam asked not knowing if that was the right word, Dean had more bruises than astreet fighter that lost and he really looked bad, he always tried to be a grown up and ignore the blue and black patches that covered Dean and just get on with trying to make him feel better, but it was hard, every time he saw them, it made the imagine of all the blood and the dying Dean on that bathroom floor come rushing back.

"F-fine," Dean grunted as he sat down on the chair John offered and Mary was happy to see he was still talking to Sam.

"Are you going back to sleep after or...?"

Dean shrugged, trying not to look rude towards the kid that was trying like hell to cheer him up.

"You wanna help me with my English project...um...I need to write about my hero."

"Who did you pick Sammy?" John asked when he saw Dean curious.

"Dean," Sam smiled.

"W-what?" Dean gasped dropping his jaw to the table.

"Is it okay?" Sam asked biting his nails.

Dean managed to somehow past the shock nod a little.

"Can you help me? I need to write why I think you're heroic and how I met you...it's supposed to be like a celebrity or something and how you first knew of them but...I don't really like Brad Pitt and weirdo's like him."

"O-okay...Angelina Jolie?" Dean joked and Mary and John smiled and laughed.

"No!" Sam pouted laughing also.

"Why don't we eat then you boys can work on it down here?" Mary suggested as she put the food down on the table and let everyone get what they wanted.

She smiled happily when all of them dug right in.

_**SPN**_

"Is...is it okay if I put why I think you're strong?"

"Why the hell would think...I'm strong?" Dean asked taking a breather mid sentence for his ribs sake.

"Cos...you got hurt a lot and...you're still here, and...you still wanna be happy right?" Sam asked.

"Who doesn't wanna be happy?" Dean asked smiling inside at the sweet kid.

"That's why I think you're strong, cos you probably really hurt right now but you still wanna be happy...do you really want me to not put about who hit you?" Sam asked being kind and light with his words.

Dean didn't know how to answer, he wanted to tell Sam not to write this at all, he didn't want I sheet of paper in school records that says he's an abused case, how embarrassing would that be! But he didn't want to upset Sam either.

"I can just put how you saved me if you want? Then I can make up something like you dived in front of the mysterious guy and he hurt you too but...you still saved me?" Sam asked.

"Uh...sure...thanks," he said before having a cough and holding his ribs while he did so. "You really haven't told your...parents about that chick?" Dean asked when Sam had cleared the tears that came when the older one had started painfully almost choking.

"No...you told me not to," Sam simply explained then started writing away.

"Man you're good at that," Dean told him when he saw Sam writing and writing away filling the page within minutes.

"What school did you go to?" Sam asked after giggling.

"Um...I don't remember the name."

"Where was it?"

"Don't know...moved around a lot."

"I had a friend that moved to Texas a few months ago, he went to somewhere called Springfall High...sound like you went there?"

"Um, no I don't think so."

"Did it end in 'high' or was it something really weird?"

"I don't know, there was too many to remember."

"Really? Wow how many schools have you been to?"

"I don't know**,** okay!"

Sam stopped, he barely even breathed, his pen wasn't moving on the page anymore and his heart was thumping in his ears.

"M'sorry, I'll go..." he whispered about to get off the bed and go to his own room but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"I'm the one who's sorry kid...um...I didn't mean to yell I just...kinda been a long day."

"Oh...um, if you wanna sleep I can-"

"No, no you're good....keep writing if you want."

Sam nodded, a little tense but he sat back down on the end of Dean's bed and carried on writing.

"Can you proof read it when I'm done? I suck at spelling," Sam smiled.

"Yeah me too...uh, go ask your mom or dad about that...I'm so bad at school things."

"....Dean...?"

"Yeah?"

"Did...did you go to school?" Sam asked, finally put it together, Dean didn't remember, he moved round a lot, and he was sure if his uncle didn't care about him being hurt...he really wouldn't care about him going to school.

"No..." was Dean's shameful answer as he leaned his chin to his chest.

"It's okay...I can help if you want...my mom can help too, she's really smart...and my dad is really smart if you need to know about cars," Sam laughed.

"It's okay...I think I'm past being able to be helped."

"No you're not," Sam said angry at Dean's attitude.

"Sam, a pile of shit's got more brains than me, trust me, I'm a lost cause."

"No you are not! Shut up! Would you quit being mean about yourself! I can't write you're my hero if you keep saying stuff like that! It's not really hero talk! I don't hear batman saying he's stupid!"

Dean was taken aback by Sam's explosion, the kid really was mad.

"Sorry..." Dean mumbled when Sam had calmed down a little.

"Shut up, let me write," Sam huffed going back to him homework.

"You know batman is so gay," Dean chuckled fake trying to lighten the rotten mood.

"He is?" Sam asked looking up from his paper.

"Why else would he need Robin?"

Sam grinned then snorted and let out a long laugh, Dean followed suit soon after.

"I'm for asking stupid questions...I know it's not cool...sorry," Sam said sincere.

"Sorry for snapping and being a downer," Dean said after.

'_Okay, it's now or never...please don't yell, please don't yell...'_

"Hey Dean..."

"Yeah Sam?"

"Um...you know when you're ready...cos the doctors told my mom and dad...when you're ready...um, you can talk to me you know? I know I might look like a stupid little kid, but...I can try to understand...you don't have to, they said you might not want to, but...I just want you to know if you need to talk to someone...hi?" he said waving a little to show he was talking about himself.

"Thanks..." Dean nodded...he knew the kid wanted to try to understand but he didn't need nightmares**,** so Dean swore to keep things to himself for the kids sake. "You're a pretty cool kid you know," Dean praised.

"Not really...I'm a loser at school."

"Now who's being mean to himself?" Dean smirked.

"Oh well..." Sam shrugged, Dean had meant that to be a joke but Sam seemed a little upset for that.

"You dad thinks you're pretty cool, and you got an awesome mom...and with all this...vampire...stuff...you've taken it really well...when I found out I was jello for weeks...you're cool Sam, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"You too," Sam said smiling.

Dean laughed a little, it was fake but Sam seemed to fall for it so he was covered.

"Listen...uh kid, I'm kinda tired...you mind?"

"Oh no...um...night Dean," Sam said shuffling from the bed and closing the door as he left.

Dean waved night, took his pills Mary put on his bedside table then laid back down and closed his eyes.......

"_**You stupid little fuck! Why the hell would you need school?!"**_

"_**I-I...I like school...please **__**uncle**__** Ron?"**_

"_**What did you just call me!?!"**_

"_**Um...I mean, sir, sir please...I'm sorry."**_

"_**You little shit, begging like you're worth mercy! Are you worth mercy boy?!"**_

"_**N-noo S-sir..."**_

"_**Damn straight you little fuck up!" **_

_**The fists came in fast and hard, Dean tried to scream for help but the hits just got harder...and harder...and harder.**_

"_**God you really are pathetic!" Ron yelled kicking Dean who was curled in a fettle position. "Say it! Say you are a pathetic fuck!"**_

"_**I-mm...I'mm a path-et-icc...f..I-m pathet-ic-c-..." **_

"_**You are a pathetic fuck!" Ron corrected with another harsh fist.**_

_**Dean refused to say the curse word...his mom hated that word...he refused.**_

"_**You little disobedient fuck!!" Ron yelled, stomping on his hand before he left for the nearest bar.**_

"_**I'm sorry....I'm sorry...I'm sorry....mom...I'm sorry**_**...."**

**TBC... **


	8. Do real superheros wear tights?

**So sorry guys this took so long, drama at home and had to go to the hospital over the weekend and have to stay home this week but here it is, and all corrected and done the professional way like many of you asked for.**

**Side kick- Bia1007**

**Beta- ****cuddygirl18,** thank you so much for helping me out on such short notice darling x

* * *

**Do real superheros wear tights?**

"_**You stupid little fuck! Why the hell would you need school?!"**_

"_**I-I...I like school...please Uncle Ron?"**_

"_**What did you just call me!?!"**_

"_**Um...I mean, sir, sir please...I'm sorry."**_

"_**You little shit, begging like you're worth mercy! Are you worth mercy, boy?!"**_

"_**N-noo S-sir..."**_

"_**Damn straight, you little fuck up!" **_

_**The fists came in fast and hard, Dean tried to scream for help but the hits just got harder...and harder...and harder.**_

"_**God, you really are pathetic!" Ron yelled kicking Dean who was curled in a fetal position. "Say it! Say you are a pathetic fuck!"**_

"_**I-mm...I'mm a path-et-icc...f..I-m pathet-ic-c-..." **_

"_**You are a pathetic fuck!" Ron corrected with another harsh fist.**_

_**Dean refused to say the curse word...his mom hated that word...he refused.**_

"_**You little, disobedient fuck!!" Ron yelled, stomping on his hand before he left for the nearest bar.**_

"_**I'm sorry....I'm sorry...I'm sorry....mom...I'm sorry**_**...."**

_**....**_

" 'M sorry...momm...'m sorry mom..."

He felt hard knuckles bruise his cheek before he launched up in bed and looked round frantic.

"Mom?! Dad?!! Mom?!! MOM!!" he yelled jumping off his bed and running before he fell to the floor remembering his broken ribs and beaten body.

"Dean? Kid, what are you doing up? Dean?" someone asked coming down the stairs.

"D-dad?" Dean asked from his curled position on the hall floor.

"Dean? What happened?" John rushed to him and tried to check out if he had hurt himself.

"I want my mom and dad," he cried curling away from John.

"Ah kid, come on let's get you back in bed," he said calmly going to pull Dean up.

"They're not coming back for me, are they?" Dean asked refusing to move.

"I'm sorry son," John whispered when he picked the boy up but he soon lashed out at John with a fist. He managed to duck from it, and then Dean crawled away to a far corner.

"Stop saying that! I'm not your son!"

"Dean, I'm sorry...just, come on let me help you back in bed."

"No! Leave me alone!"

"John? What's going on?" Mary asked when she was awake and coming down the steps now.

Dean shot up, ignoring his hurts, and ran for his room where he slammed the door and jammed it with himself as he leaned back and refused to move while John and Mary pleaded for him to.

"Dean, baby, please? Just let us in, okay**?**"

"No! Stop calling me that! Just stop! STOP IT!!"

"Okay, okay Dean, it's okay, just move from the door and we can help you okay?"

"M-mom, what's wrong with him?" Sam asked from the other side.

"I don't know yet, Sammy."

"D-Dean? What's wrong?" the kid asked tearing up.

"Just...just leave me alone," Dean cried before he pulled the covers from his bed towards him and made himself a little more comfortable on the floor by the door.

"Sam, go back to bed kiddo, we'll sort this out," John said, not wanting his baby to see Dean like this.

"No, I'm staying here, you two go back to bed," Sam insisted before he ran up the steps, got his own quit and pillows then made himself his own makeshift bed on the other side of Dean's door.

"Sam-"

"We'll be fine," he said waving his parents away who after a little while, sighed knowing that they weren't going to get anywhere if they kept badgering both boys. So, they walked back to their room and left the door open as they laid back in bed and stared at the ceiling, knowing neither of them was going to get any sleep that night.

Sam shuffled a little, he opened his mouth to ask Dean one last time to open the door but he knew it wasn't going to happen. So, he arranged his pillows best he could, then leaning closer to the door, he whispered, "It's okay Dean, you don't have to be scared," before he heard some sniffles and closed his eyes, hoping everything would be better in the morning.

_**SPN**_

Dean took deep breathes and prepared himself for the day. He uncurled from the mess of his sheets that he was in on the floor and laid them back neatly on his bed.

He didn't need a mirror to know his eyes were still red and puffy, he could feel it, not to mention the left over headache he had from the tears.

"I wish you were here, mom and dad," he whispered to himself as he reached in his pocket and got out the necklace he still kept there. He looked deep at the pentagram hanging from the chain. He traced his thumb over the silver charm, it was still as clean and perfect as the day his mom first got it. Dean's dad even went to the extreme of welding tiny diamonds round the outside of the symbol, just to make it that bit more special for his mom.

He could still remember the day his mom told him about how his dad gave that to her. They found out she was pregnant and his mom was a little unsure about how his dad would react. Helena was scared the hunt would mean more to him than a child, meaning their first born would have a life without a dad as he would always be on the road, much like her dad.

Dean's dad found the pregnancy test. He found out that it was positive and was ecstatic. His mom still hadn't told him herself yet and David apparently knew exactly why. So as a way of telling her how happy he was, he made that necklace, engraved the family 'D' in the back of it and wrapped it gently in a little pouch which he tucked in her shut gun he knew she would be cleaning. When she pulled out the barrel, there it was, 'perfect' his mom called it.

When the debate of what would they call the baby if it was a girl started, David came up with Deanna after his grandmother, so she came up with Dean for a boy. "Why your dad's family have to be so fussy with the D's, I'll never know," she always joked.

She had never taken the necklace off, not once, until the day a demon got in their house, little Dean refused to leave their mom and run to uncle Ron like he was told to, he wanted to stay, help his mom, but she wouldn't let him.

"Take this baby, look after it for mommy. When I see you again, you give it back to me okay?"

"Mommy, I don't wanna! Please mommy, promise to come back!"

"Dean, sweetie, I will always come back, always baby, now look after this, and run! RUN DEAN!"

He could still feel the wet hard ground under his feet when he ran, he could feel the necklace slipping from his hands, he knew he couldn't let it go but somehow it fell, he ran back to get it, and just then, he saw his dad's throat being slashed and his mom screaming for her life.

"Go back to hell, you ugly bitch!!" was the last words he heard his mom say before he saw the light go out in her eyes, little Dean was hiding outside by the window, he could see everything, he didn't want to, but he could, his mom dropped to the floor, bleeding out just like his dad. Then the house was burning, the demon was laughing and Dean ran and ran. Always keeping a tight grip on the last symbol he had of his parents love for him. And he had never put it on once, never, he couldn't, his Uncle Ron would probably take it and burn it down saying he didn't deserve to have it after he was the reason his parents died.

But he needed that necklace, whenever he took it out from the very bottom of his duffle, it seemed to be the light at the end of the dark rainy tunnel for him, it was the only thing on the planet that kept him going, and he was ashamed someone untrained...just a little kid, could walk in and take it, he never even noticed, _'I really don't deserve this. I lost it!'_

He wiped his tears and stood, there was no way he could possibly hide the fact that he'd been crying, so he just opened his door and faced the rest of the house, hoping none of them were right there, that would be embarrassing!

He took a step but bumped into a lump on the floor. He looked down frowning.

It was Sam, he was wide awake, staring into space, wrapped in his own covers outside his door.

"Oh um...sorry," he mumbled hating how weak his voice sounded, he was about to turn round, go back in his room, shut the world out for now and forever, he knew it would be embarrassing but this was just humiliating. But when the kid sat up and smiled at him, nothing else, he just smiled, it was weird...but somehow, it made him feel better, like when his mom used to smile at him in his dreams.

"My mom and dad are still in bed, you want breakfast? I burn toast but..."

"I'm...I'm good thanks," Dean mumbled.

"Oh...okay then..."

"Did ah...did you stay here all night?" Dean asked in a high voice.

"Yeah..."

"Wh...why?" Dean asked not sounding rude, but sounding shocked because it seemed like Sam had stayed there for him.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay, and you stayed on the floor too," Sam smiled.

"Thanks Sam...you didn't have to do that. I'm fine," Dean said sounding anything but.

"No...you're not, Dean," Sam said standing up from his sheets to look Dean in the eyes.

"Kid..."

"You don't have to kid me all the time, I know you're sad, and I know you were crying, I'm old enough to know, Dean, I'm not stupid," Sam said in a tone that Dean was confused by. It seemed sad, caring, and full of hope, but at the same time, frustrated and annoyed.

"Ki...Sam, I know you're not stupid**,** I never said you were."

"You don't have to say it, Dean. The fact that you think you have to tell everyone that you're fine when you're not...it makes you look like you think everyone is stupid, just...can't you just admit you had a nightmare?"

Sam wanted to say "can't you just admit you miss your mom and dad" but...he couldn't, he was old enough, and he knew he was old enough to know that was one of things that he wasn't allowed to ask yet. So he didn't.

"Fine, I had a nightmare, and I cried like a girl, you happy now?" Dean snapped regretting in instantly.

"Dean...it's worse to pretend you're mean than to show you're sad," with those wise but painful words, Sam picked his covers up and walked up the steps to his room.

"6:47...great, only another 13 minutes before I have to get ready for school," he grumbled to himself as he looked at the clock while dumping his sheets down.

"S-Sam?" someone asked, the voice sounded like being in pain, so he turned around and Dean was in tears at first sight.

"Dean! You weren't supposed to walk up the steps!" he yelled not knowing what to do. Dean looked like he was about to pass out as he wrapped his arms around his burning ribs.

"I'm...I'm sorry...for being...an ass..." he gasped out before he could hear John and Mary coming down the hall.

"Dean, what on earth are you doing?! I made that room up so you wouldn't have to come up here and hurt yourself on the way!" Mary scolded as John moved to help the boy sit down on the end of Sam's bed.

"I'm...fine," Dean said still whimpering at the throbbing bruises that covered him. But when he looked at Sam he knew he had to correct that. "Sorry...son of a-" he whined cutting himself off before the curse. He'd never complained about hurting before, sure he'd moaned to himself how shit his life was but usually, he'd always kept it in the back on his mind and never spoke about it because that's just the way Ron had taught him to be. But it was all for the kids' sake, not his. So, he grumbled and grunted till the boy's heart was content as John checked him over, running his hands, checking the bandages that he had around him and making sure there was no wheezing like the hospital said there would be if Dean were to move in a certain direction, making one of the ribs snap back and pierce a lung.

When John was almost sure Dean hadn't done any permanent damage, he let the boy breathe through the pain.

"Dean, you okay son? Come on or you're going back to the hospital," John said, running a hand over Dean's face, making the kid look at him.

"I'm...good now, thanks," he cleared his throat, whimpered one last time, and then let John help him stand again.

"Right, go down stairs and stay there young man, I don't want to see you on this floor unless I say otherwise," Mary scolded, marching Dean down the steps slowly, knowing it would be easier to go down than it was to go up.

_**SPN**_

"Uh Dean...I'm going to school now. I'll see you later," Sam smiled from his door way then waved off as Dean smiled back.

The older one hadn't been allowed to leave his bed since he got back downstairs, Mary had ran around after him for ages, getting him his pills, hot water bottles when he shivered, breakfast in bed, you name it.

Sam commented on how lucky Dean was, but Dean didn't seem think so. Thankfully, Sam laughed it off, and then went to get dressed.

"Hey, Sam!" Dean called seconds later.

"Yeah?" the kid asked, poking his head back through the door way.

"Um...have a...good day at school, I'll see you later kid."

"Thanks, I'll try, see ya Dean," he smiled skipping off, he couldn't wait to tell his classmates about super Dean and what he'd done over the last 2 weeks, they weren't going to believe it!

_**SPN**_

"Dean, honey, you okay?" Mary asked when she saw the boy looking awkwardly around his room.

"Um...yeah thanks."

"You bored?" she smiled, knowing boys too well.

"Um...kinda, where's...Mr. Winchester?"

"John," she corrected laughing, then went on, "at work, his friend just picked him up," she smiled.

"When's Sam coming home?" he asked, crossing his toes.

"In about 6 hours."

'_AAAWW man!!' _he grumbled internally but Mary didn't fail to see the sunken expression.

"Sorry sweetheart, why don't you get some sleep while you wait? Gonna be a long day if you keep twiddling your thumbs," she told him before she patted him on the leg**,** then left with a smile.

"God, I wish she was mom...why couldn't she be mom?" Dean asked himself before he turned carefully on his side and closed his eyes knowing if he looked as bad as he felt, he needed sleep.

_**SPN**_

"So this guy really cut you with a knife?!"

"Yeah, got the scars to prove it," Sam said lifting up his sleeve to show where he still had a thin red line left over from the attack.

"And this Dean guy really saved you? What's he like? I mean, he doesn't wear the tights or anything, does he?"

"No! Dude, real superheroes do not wear tights, he wears jeans, normal clothes, but he is soooo cool. I mean, like seriously, he got beat up really bad too, he has to stay in bed for a few weeks permanently before he can come back to school. He can't even walk up the steps right now."

"Really? Why?"

"Cos he did this morning and he got really bad and my dad almost took him back to the hospital He dived in front of a huge guy to save me, what do you expect that freak was gonna do to him?"

"Did you cry? Cos man, I would be freaking out!"

"No...it was scary but Dean saved me, and even though he was hurt really bad, he yelled at me to run and he would be running behind me, and he was. Then, we saw my dad driving so we stopped and that's when me and Dean went to the hospital. That was...he...um...nev-...never mind," Sam stopped himself showing off then, it was a total lie, most of it anyway, yes Dean did save him, but in a totally different way, but the hospital...that was when he got really scared, that's when he thought Dean might die and it would be all his fault, he couldn't brag anymore, he knew it. He knew Dean didn't like this kinda thing being said about him so, he knew he had to shut the hell up before he went too far.

"Sam, what? Tell us, dude, I'm dying to know what happened at the hospital! Did that freak follow you?"

"N-no...I gotta get back to work," Sam mumbled, hoping they would leave him alone now.

"Man, I bet you're just lying! It's all fake! Big fat liar show off! And I bet this Dean guy isn't even really a superhero! He's probably just as wimpy as Winchester here! Wimp wimp wimp wimp!"

"He is real! He's a hero! He almost died! And it's all my fault!" Sam yelled running from the class in flood of tears as the class continued to chant wimp.

"Sam! Sam!" his teacher called coming back to the classroom where all her students were being so cruel. "Excuse me!" she yelled at them, "get back to work, you're all in detention!" she said before she went to go find Sam.

_**SPN**_

"Mrs. Winchester, could you come to school? Sam's very upset and refuses to leave the bathroom."

"What's wrong? What happened?" Mary half yelled.

"He was apparently telling the class about his adventure with Dean, the superhero this morning. When he suddenly stopped his story, another student called him a liar. Sam yelled and said something about it all being his fault. Then, he ran to the bathroom and hasn't come out since."

"Oh...okay, I'll be there. Tell him that I need to just make sure Dean's okay before I come pick him up."

She put the phone down and let her mind run haywire over Sam. Then, she went to Dean's bedroom where he was getting dressed with great difficulty.

"Dean, what are you doing?"

"Coming with you...I heard what the woman said and Sam's upset cos of me...I need to make sure he's okay and warn those brats to stay the hell...away from him."

"Dean, you can barely stand-"

"I've had worse and been fine, let me help...please, I wanna make sure the kid is okay."

She gave a long sigh, and then nodded**,** hoping she wasn't going to regret this.

_**SPN**_

"Dean we're here, you sure you're okay to be walking?"

"Fine," he grunted holding his side as he stepped out of the car.

He walked following Mary to the front desk, grinding his teeth thinking of how he was gonna kill those kids that picked on Sam. The lady at the reception gasped at Dean's black bruised face but tried to ignore it when she got a glare from Mary.

They were led to where Sam was hiding out and Dean asked to be the one that went in. He begged Mary using his puppy eyes, he told her he wanted to help. Also, he wanted Sam to know that it wasn't his fault he was like this, which is what Mary had told him he thought according to John.

"Sam? Kid?" Dean asked limping as it was better on his ribs for some reason as he walked into the school toilets.

"D-Dean?" the little kid asked before he sniffled.

"Yeah, it's me, where are you?" Dean asked looking round when a door at the furthest end was pushed open and Sam was squished in the little corner. "What are you doing?"

"I'm...I'm sorry," Sam cried leaning into his knees that were up to his chest.

"What are you sorry for?" Dean asked slowly, sliding down the wall so he could sit next to Sam.

"It's my fault that you got hurt! If I'd have tried harder, you wouldn't be! It's all my fault!"

"Hey, hey, where the hell is this coming from? Sam, it's not your fault. I've had worse, trust me, a lot worse, I'm fine, or...I will be, kid. Stop crying, please?"

"S-sorry..." Sam sniffled, forcing himself to stop.

"Sam...listen, I blame myself for a lot of things that have happened, I know technically. When I work it out in my head logically, there's no way I could have stopped some of the crappy things that have happened...but I still blame myself and I know what it's like. No matter what I say right now, it's not gonna make it any better...but, if you're as smart as I believe you are, then you know logically that all this," Dean pointed to his black eyes, "It's not your fault, and kid, it never will be, it's my problem and I gotta deal with it on my own, like I always do...but those punks out there, you don't have to deal with them on your own, come on...we're gonna go show those ass hats some pain."

Sam got a look on his face, full of fear at what Dean was gonna do to them.

"I mean, let's show off our scars, doofus," Dean laughed as Sam helped him up and they both left the bathroom smiling.

"Sammy-"

"He's good...um, do you mind if I stick around here for today? I swear I'll sit down or something all day, I'll look after the kid," Dean said to Mary so she nodded smiling happy. They were starting to feel like a bigger family already.

"Sam, you better make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, make sure he behaves, and cheer up sweetie," she said to Sam kissing him on the cheek as he squirmed embarrassed in front of Dean.

"Bye mom."

"Bye Mrs. Winchester," Dean said.

"Mary, I'm not that old Dean," she laughed as she waved off and got back in her car.

"Now, let's go show some jerks who's cool," Dean said putting his arm over Sam's shoulders so he wouldn't fall over as they walked back to his classroom.

"Dean, I'm scared," Sam whispered when they reached the door.

"Don't be. We got each other's backs," Dean said letting Sam lead them both in and he grinned as the entire class stopped and gasped at how hurt Dean was and how happy Sam was supporting him.

"Mrs. Harvey, this is Dean. Can he stay in our class today?" Sam asked as he helped Dean sit down and Dean grunted dramatically, thanking Sam overly cheesy to give the class a show.

"Oh, so you're Dean. Nice to meet you, young man. Are you sure you should be here right now and not resting? If Sam's essay is true to life, then I think you really should be in bed."

"I'm fine, miss...just came to see how my man was doing," Dean said looking warningly round the class.

"Did you really save Sam?" someone asked seconds later. Dean and the teacher both smirked.

"Yup, he's really awesome, and he needed help. I didn't mind, he's a cool kid," Sam was blushing at his desk next to Dean.

"Does it hurt?"

"What? The broken ribs or shattered cheek bone?" Dean asked having to bite his cheek when all the kids gasped. "Like I said, when you're saving a cool kid like Sam, who cares?"

"Dean? How old are you, sweetie?" the teacher asked.

"Um...14..." Dean said frowning.

"Would you like me to speak to a few teachers here about getting some work for you to do at home while you're well enough to come back here full time?" Sam's teacher kindly asked.

"Uhh..."

"Dean's really smart. So, it doesn't even matter. He'll miss the first few weeks, and he knows it all anyway," Sam bragged trying to come up with a way that Dean would feel better about skipping the first few weeks even though he'd skipped the last few years.

"Oh, well then never mind, so Dean what grade are you in? Maybe I can put in a few good words for your teacher."

"Um...that's okay..." Dean stuttered looking at Sam, pleading him for help, but also keeping a blank face for everyone else so only the kid could see how freaked he was right now. "Sam, you mind helping me up?" Dean asked and Sam did.

When he was on his feet, he limped over to the door. He told Sam that he needed the bathroom and left.

"Oh my god, so it's true! Man, Dean is so brave! He really saved you cos he wanted to! Man, I wish my big brother was like that!" one of the jerks said with wide excited eyes. Sam was about to correct him, saying Dean wasn't his bog brother...but now his parents had fostered him and it was technically true. Dean saved the day, kicked ass, and he was cool as hell big brother!

"Yeah, told you, and he could beat anyone up. Even with broken ribs, he totally kicks ass."

"Sam, keep words like that between you and your brother."

"Yes, ma'am, sorry," he giggled feeling like a bad ass for once in his life.

_**SPN**_

The rest of the day went pretty slow. Mary had picked Dean up when Sam's teacher called saying the boy had brought the usual, silent Sam to life, but also said how tired Dean was looking as the minutes rolled on.

Sam was still being asked about Dean and what else they had done over the short holidays, if this guy was caught or if he was still on the loose. Sam had to tell them that Dean also caught the guy before he passed out and that he was locked up in prison and would be for a long time. He only told them that because some of them were starting to look scared, including the jerks.

"I'll see you later Sam," a few of them said waving him off as he walked out the gate and smiled while he was excited for what he was gonna tell Dean when he got home, and how he was gonna thank him again.

He skipped happily on the way home, and then let himself in the house, going straight for Dean's room.

He found Dean asleep, snoring away and he giggled a little, then shut the door and left.

"Sammy, are you disturbing Dean?" Mary asked smiling brightly.

"No, course not."

"Rest of your day go okay, honey?" she asked.

"Yeah...sorry you had to come for me."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. I'm just glad Dean was there to help you. What did he say to you, anyway?"

"Just... stuff," Sam smiled, and then skipped off to his room. "Homework, then I can help teach Dean some things...if he wants...which he probably doesn't, some dumb kid teaching a bad ass like him...nah," he said to himself as he dumped his bag on his floor and got to work.

_**TBC...**_


	9. Beware this troubled world

**Santa's little helpers include-Bia and Eggyliane!! Cheers guys!!! Love Ya!!**

* * *

**Beware this troubled world**

"Dean?" Sam asked going to older one's room.

"Yeah?" he said looking up from the TV.

"Um..." _'Man I forgot how huge he was!!'_ "Uh...never mind," Sam said quickly about to bolt.

"Sam, what's up?" Dean asked standing from his bed with ease.

"Nothing...you'll think I'm being lame."

"Kid...just tell me, please?" Dean begged, but he also hoped it wasn't more questions about the hunt.

"I was...I found these at school and I just...I thought I was helping out but now it just sounds stupid," Sam said with something behind his back.

"What is it?" Dean asked then tricked Sam so he was able to snatch the object from the poor kid's hands.

"Hey!" Sam whined offended by Dean's quick reflexes.

Dean smirked then looked at what he had in his hands.

"Mathematics grades 6-9, totally science age 9-12, English teachings grade 6 and 7," he read out frowning, making Sam go red and close to tears of embarrassment. "You 'found' these?" Dean asked sceptically_. _

"My mom gave me some money...sorry," Sam mumbled looking at the floor then walking over to Dean about to take the books away and return them, _'this was a stupid idea!'_

"You really didn't have to do that Sam," Dean said smiling at the boy.

"Okay," Sam nodded, thinking he understood.

"Hey, I kinda need the books if I wanna learn," Dean snorted, making it into a joke as Sam tried to take them away.

"What?" Sam asked shocked.

"Uh yeah...thanks Sammy," Dean said and Sam smiled, Dean had never called him that before. "Could you help me? I got no clue," the older one winced opening the first book and frowning.

"Sure," Sam practically squealed as he jumped up on the bed and took the book to have a look, he really hoped he had done something like this already in his lessons, that would make things a whole lot easier. "I might not be able to do some of this...I'm only in grade 4."

"Oh..."

"My mom can help, you know," Sam said like that was a good thing.

"No! The less people that know how stupid I am the better."

"She doesn't know?!" Sam asked a little too loud.

"No, she isn't going to know."

"But what happens when the foster thing is over and my mom sends you to high school?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, now quiet, I need to read."

"Fine," Sam grumbled then went back to reading another book.

_**SPN**_

The rest of the week went smoothly, Dean had asked Sam a million times if anyone had messed with him since. The answer was always the same, a smile followed by a sweet, "no, I'm good," making Dean smile himself.

Dean was no longer on 24 hour watch from Mary, it was amazing how much better his ribs were with the extra sleep he'd been getting and the extra care people took round him. Mary had finally gone back to work, and he was working hard on the exam questions in his new English book Sam got him, but downside, he was also extremely bored.

His face lit up when he heard footsteps coming towards the house, he had learned quickly that those footsteps were Sam's.

He shot up from the sofa and went to meet the kid at the door.

"Hey Sa- what the hell happened?!" he yelled when saw the bruise on Sam's cheek.

"Doesn't matter," Sam mumbled dropping his bag to the floor and trying to pass Dean.

"Sam, what happened?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

Dean grumbled under his breath then held Sam's shoulders as he was about to walk off.

"Sam, what happened?" he asked serious, not taking I'm fine for an answer.

"Some older kid hit me cos I said you could kick his ass."

"And why did you just randomly tell an older kid I could kick their ass? I mean I could but...why?"

"I didn't!" Sam yelled stomping his foot before he pushed Dean off and went up stairs, unbeknownst to him, Dean had been training up and down those for the best part of 2 days now so he flew up them and was at Sam's bedroom door as quick as the kid was.

"Sam, what happened?"

"One of the people in my class said something to his brother about you being better than he was so when I got outside school the brother hit me, then I said you would kick his ass so he hit me again."

"Where?" Dean asked when he only saw one bruise.

Sam lifted his shirt up and showed Dean the red mark on his side.

"Son of a bitch! I am gonna kill that dick!" Dean yelled barking through the house.

"Dean! Dean please don't tell my mom and dad," Sam pleaded.

"Why?" Dean asked like Sam was nuts.

"Cos they have too much to do already, please don't tell them."

"Fine, I won't, cos you're keeping my secret I won't tell them, but I am gonna go see that punk right now and rip his head off!"

Dean matched to the door with Sam close in tow, the both of them ran to where Sam said they lived.

"HEY!" Dean yelled storming to the front lawn where the punk and his friends were hanging out.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Dean, and you are the asshole that likes to pick on little kids."

"Oh, so your superman without the tights huh?" the punk snorted then stormed over to Dean.

Sam was now twitching scared hiding behind Dean.

"I suggest you say sorry to Sam right now before the new and improved superman kicks your ass."

Dean tightened his fists and the punk laughed.

"Danny what are you doing? Leave them alone! Stop being mean!" a little kid said running out of the house.

"Adam shut the hell up!" 'Danny' yelled at the kid.

"So you like to pick on every little kid then?" Dean asked angry.

Just then Danny turned out and lashed out towards Dean who blocked the attempted punch then made one clear shot of his own.

It didn't take many or forceful blows before Dan was on the ground whining along with his two friends.

"You better stay the hell away from my kid brother or I'm gonna make this look like child's play," Dean spat then walked off with Sam following fast. "You good now?" he asked when they were far enough away from the house.

"Dean! What did you do that for?! I thought you were gonna talk to him! Like you did at school!"

"Sam he's an asshole, that wouldn't have worked, showing him not to mess with you or I'll kick his ass again did."

"What if he comes after me?!" Sam asked scared as they walked back to the house.

"He won't kid, I know it, you'll be fine now, and if anyone else does mess with you, tell me and I'll sort them out, I think I'm getting pretty good at this brother stuff," Dean smirked, praising himself as Sam continued to stress. "Sam, I promise okay, he won't come after you again, none of them will."

"O-okay," Sam nodded pushing it to the back of his mind...right now he had to think of a story to fool his parents about his bruise.

"I've had years of learning how to hide injuries Sam, your folks won't suspect a thing."

"Really?" Sam asked putting his hand to his aching chin.

"Yup, really."

_**SPN**_

"Sam, Dean, dinner!" John yelled.

"Coming!" Sam yelled and Dean dropped the ice.

"See, invisible," Dean smirked letting Sam run down stairs.

"Thanks Dean!" he yelled as he skipped off the last step and jumped his way to the kitchen.

"Somebody's in a good mood," Mary smiled at her baby boy.

"Hey Dean, how you feeling today?" John asked when the older kid walked uncomfortably into the room.

He didn't make a move to answer so John smiled trying to make him feel better.

"It's okay to talk kid, we won't hit you for speaking your mind, that's not how it works in this house."

"Oh...um..." Dean didn't know what to say to that, does he thank them, does he start to talk like he does with Sam to show he's not that stupid and he understands? What?

"Dean, sweetie, guess what came in the mail today?" Mary grinned holding up a file.

"Um...what?" _'Man that sounded rude! What do I do now?!'_ "S-sorry," he stuttered ducking his head to his chest while Sam felt a punch hit him in the stomach, it was so strange how different Dean was now compared to the hard ass he was minutes ago with that bully.

"It's okay sweetie," Mary smiled lifting Dean's head with a gentle hand under his chin which only made him flinch till he leaned into the warmth.

"So, Dean, it's the final papers for your fostering, it's all here in ink kiddo," John smiled holding up the file Mary handed him while she went and sat between Dean and Sam for both their comforts.

"D-does that mean Dean's going to school soon?" Sam asked wincing to himself but Dean caught the look loud and clear.

"I guess it does, Dean you excited about getting out of this house finally?"

"Um...it's not that bad...I like it here...in the...house," Dean mumbled and it was only Sam that knew what he was getting at.

"Come on, I've seen you moping round here watching the TV and huffing and puffing when Sam's not here."

"I'm...I'm sorry I wasn't...I didn't mean to be...rude I was just...I don't mean to come off ungrateful I just..."

"Dean, that wasn't a line to insult you, it was a joke, if you're not ready for school just yet that's okay, you just have to tell us," Mary soothed cupping his cheek and it took all Dean had not to pin the soft palm to his face like a lifeline.

"It's fine...I'll go to school I...it's fine," Dean forced and it just seemed wrong to talk like this to adults, he was practically pushing the words out so he didn't seem like the ass they thought he was just a short month ago.

"Dean? Is something bothering you?" John asked hearing the tenseness in Dean's voice.

"I...no..."

"Sam?" he questioned looking over to his son who was twitching like he knew something and he wanted to say something desperately.

"No!" Dean yelled slamming his fist on the table making Sam and Mary jump. Dean gave Sam a look, a warning deathly glare telling him to keep his mouth shut.

"Boys what's going on?" John asked looking at them both, Sam looked like he was about to pass out under the pressure and Dean looked like his head was going to explode he was so red with anger.

"N-nothing dad...nothing," Sam tried to convince but he was so fixed on looking at Dean afraid he couldn't even try to pull it off.

"Boys tell us what's going on," John warned them, he knew Sam could never keep secrets from him for long. "Sam!" he snapped.

Dean was growling under his breath and Mary had to take a step back, how could the boy look so angry? He was terrified seconds ago.

"Dean hasn't been to school for 2 years!" Sam yelled out of the blue cracking under the pressure.

"You little prick!" Dean yelled, he stood so fast his chair knocked over and crashed to the floor and in his rage he pulled the table up and over and although careful not to hurt anyone, he practically tossed it at the wall in his fury.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I'm sorry!" Sam yelled and John had to protect his family from the flying objects as Dean ran from the room and slammed the front door shut, running as fast and far as he could.

He had just totally fucked up.

He could have hurt them!

All he could think as he sprinted was how his uncle was right, he just gets people killed!

He couldn't go back to them now! That was just downright embarrassing, especially with the table tossing.

They would sure as hell want to kill him now.

Mary and Sam would probably want to run away scared shitless of him, and John would no doubt want to rip his throat out with his teeth!

"FUCK!" he yelled when he tripped and his face was skinned by the tarmac road. "Please lord just kill me now..." he begged not pulling himself up from the ground. He hoped someone would come and run him over right now, it would take away all the pain and misery, and he might not be with his mom and dad but hell has to be better than this, right?

"Hey Dean, miss me?"

'_Oh god nononononononoooooo!!!!!!!'_

_**TBC...**_


	10. Good as Gold

**My god I worked my ass off on this chapter and I really hope you like it!! Hehe!! :D**

**Santa's little helpers- Bia and Eggylaine! Once again, thank you sooooooooo much!!!**

**Good as Gold**

"Hey Dean, miss me?"

Dean slammed his jaw shut in an attempt to keep the terror filled sobs in he knew were coming as Ron dug his claw fingers into his shoulder and pulled him up to his knees forcing Dean to bow.

"Dean Dean Dean...I'm so disappointed in you, after all I've done and you throw it in my face, get me tossed in jail no less, you're gonna pay for that one you little shit!"

"Hey! L-leave him alone!" a scared but brave little person yelled.

"Kid, if you know what's good for you, you'll run away back to mommy and daddy right now," Ron smirked as Sam held his hands in the air and tried to look like he was ready for a fight.

"S-Sam leave...now," Dean forced as Ron fisted his short hair painfully.

"Talking now, are we?" Ron asked like Dean was stupid as he looked down at the kid kneeling by his feet.

"Leave him alone!" Sam yelled and he kicked out at Ron's ankle making him yelp in surprise.

"You got spunk kid...and I don't like that!" Ron yelled pushing Dean to the ground as he turned to make a grab for Sam who was now backing away in fear.

He lashed his knuckles out at the boy making him cry out and hit the wet road with force. He spat the blood from his mouth where his teeth had cut into his cheek then tried to stand up.

"Stop! Please stop...I'll go quietly just please...don't hurt Sam," Dean begged pleading by his uncle's boots.

"You're pathetic! At least this kid is trying to put up a fight, you're just a waste of air aren't you?"

Dean nodded just barely then his eyes went to the floor again.

"I said aren't you?!" Ron screamed kicking Dean in ribs making him cry out, they were much better, but still painful when force was applied to the healing bones there and Dean was pretty sure Ron had just cracked them again with just one single kick.

"Y-yes s-sir," Dean gasped from the floor as he tried to pull himself up, Ron didn't like back talk but he didn't like 'weakness' any more, so he pulled himself up and swallowed back the tears as Sam was now standing frozen with fear.

He had a huge pull in his chest to go protect the kid from this evil, trouble was, Dean could handle lots of evil, but this one, this one right in front of him was the worst evil in his nightmares, his Uncle Ron was his true fear, so as much as he knew he needed to stand up for the kid's sake, he just couldn't.

"You're coming with me," Ron said as he pulled Dean up with a hand wrapped round his throat cutting off his much needed air supply as he dragged the boy towards the car he stole not minutes ago.

"Dean!" Sam yelled trying to run after the CRAZY nut case pulling his friend away as Dean struggled for air whilst being pulled across the ground.

"You're coming too you little prick," Ron smiled taking pure pleasure from the fear that was streaming from Sam's face as the man grabbed the kicking and screaming kid.

"DAD!!! DADDDYY!!! MOMMMYY!! DADDDYYY HELPP!!" he screamed, thrashing so Ron wrapped his large arm round the boys neck cutting off enough oxygen for him to pass out within seconds.

"God I'm sick of not being appreciated round here!" he yelled to himself as he tossed Sam in the back next to Dean.

The older one was trying to catch his breath back but it was proving difficult as he was frozen stiff with fear, only this time it wasn't just for himself, he had no clue what Ron was going to do to Sam, he hoped the kid only had to watch.

"One peep from you and I'll make the last 7 years seem like child's play, got it?" he snapped at Dean who couldn't even nod right now. Ron laughed to himself as he put the pedal to the floor seeing how much fun he was going to have tonight. "Two for one, and I have learned tons of new tricks in the few days I spend in prison, it's gonna be so much more fun, being on the other side now. I should thank you really, I got to kill 2 guards on my way out too."

"P-please...j-just l-let h-him go...I swear I'll b-be good," Dean sobbed, knowing he was going to regret it later, but he just couldn't sit there next to the boy who has helped him so much over the last few weeks, he couldn't sit there and do nothing, trying is better than not at all right?

"He's seen too much, he knows too much, but that's all on your head Deano, you shouldn't have gotten so close to him, he wouldn't be in this position if you had just shut your mouth, right?" Ron asked almost as if he was trying to carefully teach Dean right and wrong like you would to a little kid who had done something naughty by accident.

"N-no s-sir," Dean ducked his head to his chest and kept it there, Uncle Ron didn't hit so hard when you were respectful and didn't look at him, 'You looking at me boy?! You think you have the right to look at me you little shit?!!' was what he usually said if you made eye contact with him.

"Don't worry, when he knows to keep his mouth shut, I'll let him run back to mommy and daddy."

'_I'm so sorry Sam, god I'm so damn sorry, I swear I'll try to make sure you don't die tonight, god I'm so sorry...'_ Dean leaned into the still wheezing kid and planted a light kiss on his soft hair. He then pulled away before his uncle could see the new things he'd learned about giving affection, affection and love was always weak in the man's eyes. Dean wondered if he was a robot at one point, just when he came to John and Mary's for the first time, he was sure he was dead inside, but over the last month...his stone cold rubble heart had woken up, not that he would ever let Ron know that.

**SPN**

"Get the hell out," Ron snapped when he pulled up and opened the back door where the boys were huddled together terrified.

Sam had woken up not too long ago with a hand over his mouth, he panicked at first but when he noticed it was just Dean trying to help him keep quiet he calmed down and just cried as silently as he could. Dean wasn't looking at him which confused him. But he had a hand rubbing his back in comfort so it wasn't too bad until Ron stopped at some dark part of the creepy woods. He didn't even recognize this part either which just made it worse because his parents had always told him to keep to a certain distance to the house and he had never been over the boundary they had set him at an early age. It was really scary to think maybe his dad wouldn't be able to find him if he was this far out.

Dean wasn't speaking now either, he didn't even make a sound when Ron dragged him by his short hair and almost rammed him to the cold wet ground. Sam was sure if this dick carried on pulling on Dean's hair like that he wouldn't have any left soon, but something told him Dean would be glad of that because he would have no hair left to be pulled by.

"My dad is gonna kick your ass!" Sam yelled shocking even himself as Ron pulled him to the ground too.

"Your daddy is gonna have quite a hard time finding all your body parts when I'm done, and by the time he does, I will be in sunny Mexico," Ron smirked as he pulled Sam along with him and kicked Dean across the ground.

It took a good half an hour of pulling and yanking and screaming before Ron was satisfied with a place he'd picked out, it was deep enough into the forest that no one would hear the delicious screams but close enough to his truck that he could make a quick get away when he was finished teaching the brats how to respect their elders.

"D-Dean?" Sam asked when he knew he was done for if his hero didn't snap out of it and kick Ron's ass sometime around now!

Ron laughed at the boy's efforts as Dean sat face down in the mud too scared to even think, just like he liked it.

"Dean is unable to talk right now, and he won't be able to brag to anyone else when I cut his tongue out in 5 minutes."

"W-why are you so mean to him?" Sam asked as he cried shuffling on the tree trunk he was propped up against as Ron tied his hands behind his back tight.

"Oh...so he hasn't told you the best part then? Huh...surprising, blamed it all on me did you Dean?" Ron asked pulled Dean up and slapping him across the cheek hard and when he saw the look of utter defeat in the kid's eyes he knew no rope was needed for this one. "Dean, I think it's time for you to talk," Ron said then he forcefully turned Dean's head to face Sam.

"N-no," Dean stuttered refusing to tell _that_ story, telling the one person that had seen him as something other than a scared mess or an angry brat what had happened all those years ago was the worst torture Ron could ever do to him.

Ron was shocked at the word Dean had forced out so he brought his fist up and punched Dean round the mouth making him cry out as blood pooled inside his cheek.

"Tell him now!" Ron yelled standing to kick Dean but when Sam kicked out at the man's ankles he was stopped thankfully.

The man was quickly losing his patience so he walked to Sam and slapped him hard making his skin burn like acid.

"No!" Dean yelled when he heard a grunt from Sam.

"Ooo'howww!" Sam cried as he leaned his cheek into his shoulder trying to protect it from another blow.

"Start. Talking. Dean!" Ron spelled out like the kid was stupid, he then raised his hand and Sam shrunk away.

"I-I...I got my parents killed..." Dean cried as he felt a panic attack of pure shame and misery build inside him.

"Good, now that wasn't so hard was it?" Ron asked almost normal.

"N-no sir," Dean gulped. "AH!" he yelped when he felt another boot in his ribs.

"Wrong answer!" Ron yelled grabbing Dean's cropped hair once again then pushed his skull back into the tree making the skin crack and bleed quickly down his neck.

"Stop it! He's never done anything to you!" Sam cried trying to get out of the ropes round his wrists so he could at least run for help.

"No! He just killed my sister!" Ron barked as he stood on Dean's hand and took pleasure when he felt the bones snap under his foot. He twisted and churned his shoe round on the broken fingers just for extra enjoyment watching as Dean cried and tried to pull his shattered hand out from under the weight. He sucked in a raging breath when the air brushed part his hand and it was set free. "Now...I say its time I became a little more creative," Ron spat at Dean's face and he couldn't help but cringe at the saliva on his forehead. "Do I disgust you boy?"

"N-no sir...sorry," Dean whimpered begging he could take it back.

Sam was staring in shock at how easy Dean gave up around the man, and how much he apologized when he hadn't done anything. It seemed so wrong for the brave hero he had in his mind to be so weak now, he just wanted Dean to get up and fight like he knew he could.

Ron hissed at Dean then pulled out a pair of pliers from his pocket.

"Time for some pain boy."

_**SPN**_

"Please lord let them be okay," Mary prayed up at the sky when her and her husband went out searching for Sam and Dean, it seemed like they had done this just yesterday and it was terrifying to think this might be their lives now with Dean around, if he carried on running away and Sam kept following him then they would have to send the older boy to a foster home soon, for all their sakes.

"They'll be okay Mary."

"How do you know? There's so much out there in the dark that you don't-"

"Mary what are you talking about?" John asked when his wife sounded so unlike herself.

"Nothing, I just meant...what if that man that attacked them comes back?" she asked dodging when she knew she'd slipped up.

"I'm pretty sure if Dean got half as mad as he did just then with our table then that guy is long gone."

"Oh I hope you're right," Mary whispered as a single tear fell down her cheek.

"Oh no...oh no this can't be happening," John gasped out of nowhere.

"What? What's wrong?" Mary asked even though she knew all the signs John had just picked up.

"We have to call the police, there's blood and...Dean's necklace," John pulled up the dirty chain carefully, showed Mary then put it in a tissue he had in his coat to keep it safe as he tucked it deep in his pocket. "Someone's been here and taken them."

"Them? How do you know it's not just Dean?" Mary cried, her voice high and tears streamed down her face, she was too scared to even think right now.

"Signs of struggling, there's 3 sets of feet here."

"John what are we gonna do? Oh Christ, what if something's got them?" she didn't even care enough to correct her 'something' to 'someone' right now.

"It's gonna be okay Mary, we'll get them back home safe, I promise honey," John kissed her on her wet cheek then got his cell phone out. "Yes I'd like to report my sons missing..."

John went on for what felt like forever, yelling when they said no search party would be able to come if they hadn't even been missing for an hour yet, but their friend at the station came to the phone thankfully and when John told him there was signs of struggle, blood and Dean's pendant on the ground he told all his squad to get to work out there within seconds.

"Thank you, I really owe you."

"Are they coming?" Mary asked hopefully when he husband ended the call.

"Yeah, they're coming Mar, we're gonna get them found I promise," he took her in a tight hug as she leaned her head to his chest and let herself cry.

"I can't lose my baby John, I can't," she sobbed.

"We won't, come on we better get looking," he pulled away and together, as she put her arm round his waist and he pulled her to his shoulder they walked slowly and looked for their sons.

"Sammy! Dean! Come on kids, yell if you can hear us!! SAMMY!! DEAN!!!"

"SAM!! DEAN!! SAMMYYY!! DEAN!!!" they yelled together and soon enough they were joined by half the police in their town and half the street walked round shouting the boys' names in their dressing gowns and slippers.

"Excuse me, have you seen this boy round here anytime in the last hour?" John asked someone showing them a picture of Sam from his wallet.

"No, sorry man, good luck finding your kid," were most of the answers. Some had a good look but still shook their heads. One old dear said oh yes she sees him everyday walking past her house, but John knew she was just losing it with old age, Sam had never been at this side of the woods and they knew it, they knew their son and they had always told him to stay close when he played in the trees, no way would he come all the way down here.

"Thanks for your help," John sighed walking off as she shut her door with a smile.

"Anything?" Mary asked when she too walked off from someone's drive.

"No...nothing yet," John said trying to reassure her.

"John I got 3 guys with dogs coming out, one sniff of that blood and they'll find your boys," Steve, the cop friend, promised.

"Thanks."

"Maybe you guys should take a break, get some coffee."

"No thanks, we're good," John told his friend as he put an arm over his wife's shoulders and they walked to the next row of houses.

"I really hope they're okay," she said getting used to the constant tears in her voice and on her face by now.

"They will be..." John said without looking at her...he knew it was a lie, he had enough training to know the feeling of something bad nearby, but saying that out loud was just not going to happen. "I promise we'll get them back in one piece."

_**SPN**_

"AAHHHHHHH!!" Dean screamed when the third nail was ripped from its place on his finger.

"STOP IT!! PLEASE STOP IT YOU'RE HURTING HIM STOP!!"

"Shut the fuck up both of you!" Ron kicked Dean square in the jaw with the tip of his boot then walked to Sam and dragged him by his hair forcing the kid to look at him as he tried to squirm out of the grip without yanking half his hair out at the same time. "You pretty boys think you're so much better than everyone else don't you!" Ron screamed as he raised his foot to hammer it down on Sam's hand just like he'd done with Dean an hour ago.

"NO! DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!" Dean screamed trying to stand despite his pain. "It's okay Sammy, I swear it's okay kiddo," Dean smiled across to the crying boy, he had tears in his eyes himself and he knew he was screwed but that didn't mean Sam was.

Ron was sickened by the boy's comforting words...like Dean had built up some sort of...hope? When he was around this kid...what the hell is that about?!

"I beg your pardon!?!" he barked kicking Dean in the nose. "How about we add some names to that chest of yours?"

"No...S-sorry...m'sorry I didn't mean to...m'sorry uncle Ron," he cried dropping his face in the mud once again by his uncle feet begging for mercy.

"Shut the fuck up! Don't you call me that you little fuck!" Ron growled. "Strip!" he ordered with a kick to Dean's groin.

Dean instantly took off his bloodied shirt like he was told, even though he was downright petrified of what Ron was going to do next.

"No!" Sam screamed when Ron took out his pen knife and brought it up to Dean's already scarred skin.

"Please...oh please don't hurt him," Ron mocked laughing at the pair as he started drawing random swirls on Dean's body as the boys cried, Dean over the shame of Sam seeing his broken body once again and Sam over...well he was just downright scared out of his mind.

"Stop it please...please....don't hurt him anymore," Sam sobbed.

"S-Sam...don't worry...'b-bout me...d-don't cry," Dean choked.

"SHUT UP! You should be scared boy! I'm gonna rip you to pieces, both of you!" Ron screamed but when he saw Dean glaring at him he kicked the boy in his middles once again taking enjoyment as he fell to the floor in agony. He was kicking Dean over and over in his stomach and chest as he wheezed and pleaded for the pain to stop.

"STOP IT! STOP IT YOU'RE KILLING HIM! STOP IT! Dean please get up! Please!" Sam screamed pulling so much on the restraints it was making the rope cut deep into his flesh but he didn't care.

Ron growled like a hell hound under his breath but thankfully stopped and let Dean drop to the ground.

Ron walked from behind Sam and untied his hands. The boy was about to run for it, he thanked whoever had taught Ron to be so stupid...but then.....

_**SPN**_

"Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me!"

"What? What is it? Have you found them? Are they okay? Are they hurt?" John yelled without taking a breath.

"John...I don't know how to tell you this but...Ronald Stines broke out of jail, he killed 2 guards on his way out and I have a good suspicion that he's taken the boys."

_**TBC...**_


	11. All that I know is I'm breathing

**Santa's little helper's include-**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**All that I know is I'm breathing **

"Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me!"

"What? What is it? Have you found them? Are they okay? Are they hurt?" John yelled without taking a breath.

"John...I don't know how to tell you this but...Ronald Stines broke out of jail 2 weeks ago, he killed 2 guards on his way out and I have a good suspicion that he's taken the boys."

The world was spinning, her throat was dry, and her heartbeat was so fast it was a wonder it hadn't cracked out of her chest.

"Mary? Mary look at me, come on baby don't do this, we gotta keep looking, Mary!" John yelled when his wife turned whiter than the frost on the floor and her eyes rolled back as she passed out from panic.

"Hey! We need some help over here!" Steve yelled and several people rushed over with chairs and bottles of water. John yanked a random one out of someone's hand and poured it over his wife's face.

She coughed a little but sprung to life pushing all the worried hands off her.

"Mar? You with me?"

"What happened?" she coughed and he pulled her in closer using a corner of his shirt to dry her off.

"You passed out...um...we need to get looking, okay babe, we can panic later when we know the boys are okay."

"Y-yeah...okay, sorry," she cried but pushed herself up and stood on shaky legs.

"No way, you two are staying here, we got trained people working on finding your boys but now we know there might be a crazy man out there I'm sorry but I can't let you two go wandering round."

"Steve, we're looking, I know how to fight and I know I can take this guy."

"John you might be a damn good soldier but you ain't a cop and my boss is gonna have my ass if something happens to you or Mary if I let you two go out there."

"I don't give a flying fuck about what your boss might think!"

"John, I'm trying to look out for you, this guy killed 2 men without breaking a sweat, you get taught things in jail, new things, new ways to fight, and I'm the one with a gun here so either you sit down with your wife and stay here or I'm locking you up in a cell for the night."

And with that Steve left knowing John knew he was serious.

John growled but sat with his sobbing wife and trying his best to comfort her whilst staying put.

"They'll be fine Mar. Sammy...this guy won't hurt him, I know how freaks like him work, he thinks Dean's to blame so he'll only go for Dean...and he's come back from being hurt once before, he'll make it again."

"B-but what if he kills him this time?"

"He won't Mary...he won't. I'm gonna make sure of it..."

"John don't do anything stupid," Mary pleaded when her husband stood and followed, silent as a mouse behind Steve and his squad.

_**SPN**_

Ron walked from behind Sam and untied his hands. Sam was about to run for it, he thanked whoever had taught Ron to be so stupid...but then.....when Sam crawled forward on his hands and knees about to stand, Ron all of a sudden whipped the still knotted side of the rope and onto Sam's back.

"AAHHH!!!" he screamed jerking his back upwards uncontrollably.

"You wanna know what death feels like?" Ron asked bringing the rope up again to slash Sam on the back.

"NNNNOOOOO!!" Dean ran for him and tackled him to the floor with all he had left._ "_NOT SAM!! NOT HIM!! HIT ME ALL YOU WANT BUT YOU NEVER FUCKING TOUCH SAMMY!!" he screamed trying to pin Ron down but everything suddenly went black when he felt the burning rope thwack him across his bad cheek.

"D-Dean!" Sam cried trying to move but he just couldn't from the pain every shake put on his back.

"You're gonna pay for that one you little fuckers!" Ron screamed at them approaching Sam who was screaming in agony.

"Hands in the air?! Step away from the boys!!" someone yelled. "Last chance!"

"Oh this is gonna be fun," Ron smirked taking his favoured knife from his belt.

"You have no idea..." Steve hissed then pulled the trigger aiming perfectly between Ron's eyes.

"D-Dee'ee'aann," Sam sobbed from on top of Dean where he was now laid.

"Oh Jesus Christ..." someone gasped when they saw the 2 broken boys and the dead monster next to them.

"Johnson! We need medics here now!!!" Steve yelled to his guy who took off running knowing it would be quicker to take the paramedics to the scene personally.

"Oh my...Sammy? Oh God Sammy!!"

"Shit John I told you to stay put!!"

"Sammy, Sammy can you hear me baby, oh god D-Dean, oh god..." John cried running to the broken bleeding bodies.

John tried to wake Sam up, but it was no use, he had passed out from the pain and sorrow and wasn't waking anytime soon till the world was brighter for him. And he knew Dean had lost too much blood by now to even attempt to open his eyes.

"Sir, can you give us some space so we can look at them?" someone asked putting a hand on his shoulder as tears dripped from his eyes and onto Sam's soft hair.

He moved out the way for the boys' sakes and stared blank as the medics worked on the boys. His ears started to ring so he couldn't hear what the ambulance guys were calling out as they took a boy each.

"John, hey, come on we gotta go find Mary, then I'll get someone to drive you both to the hospital."

Steve pulled his friend away from the scene and helped him out of the woods and back to reality as they bumped into Mary. They hugged each other for a good 5 minutes, neither breaking the hold, Mary was sobbing uncontrollably as Steve told them some of the things he heard the medics say while John was stiff and blank unable to blink the image of the boys huddled unconscious together, bleeding, broken, lost in darkness.

"Stan you take care of them, make sure they get to see those boys as soon as possible, I don't care what hospital policies they toss at you, you get them inside that hospital you hear me?" Steve said to his fellow worker.

"Yes sir," he nodded then set off with the Winchesters in the back as he blared the sirens and drove fast when he saw an ambulance's blue lights. "They're right in front Mr and Mrs Winchester," he told them and Mary nodded as best she could.

_**SPN**_

"What do you mean hospital policy says parents aren't allowed back there!?"

"Sergeant I know those folks want to see their sons but I'm afraid they're just gonna have to wait, I can't give them information I don't have!"

"This is ridiculous. Okay, I suggest you go find me those answers or I'm gonna be reporting you personally to the public services office!"

The orderly nodded and walked quickly to the doors saying 'staff only' hopefully to get some damn answers for the poor Winchester's sitting in silence, shaking like leaves in the back corner or the waiting room.

"Excuse me? Mr and Mrs Winchester?" Stan asked kneeling down in front of the couple.

Mary was the only one to look up and nod like she was ready to listen.

"They don't know anything yet but...I've always been told no news is good news."

She nodded once then went back to leaning her head on her husband's shoulder.

"Excuse me? Officer?"

"Yeah?" Stan asked turning round.

"I just wanted to let you know, Dean's been sent to surgery."

"Sam?" John asked speaking for the first time in about an hour and half.

"I'm sorry...I don't have any information on him yet sir..." the young nurse winced.

"I do," a guy said holding a clipboard.

"How is he?" John asked standing up so fast and with Mary still attached to him she almost fell over.

"He's got 4 deep lacerations to his back from where the rope hit him, he has a few bruises on his cheek from a few punches. His throats a little swollen from someone choking him but its not serious enough to need any help with breathing so that's good. He also has a few cuts and scrapes on his scalp and various places on his body but over all, he's gonna be fine."

"But?" John asked knowing he wasn't telling them something.

"He's going to be fine physically but mentally...he keeps asking for Dean, he almost hit an orderly when we told him Dean wouldn't able to come just yet so we had to sedate him for now."

Mary and John nodded robotically them followed when they were told they could see their son.

"Sammy...baby everything's gonna be okay now, we'll make sure we get Dean better together...but no more running off for you too okay?" Mary smiled as she took his hand in hers and stroked his hair as machines for his oxygen levels and heart rate bleeped around him.

_**SPN**_

"I want to see Dean!" Sam screamed trying to get out of bed again.

"Sammy please baby let the doctor look at you?"

"NO! I WANT DEAN!!" Sam screamed at the top of his burning lungs like he'd never done before.

"Samuel Winchester you will calm down right now!" John yelled appalled at his son's attitude.

"Fuck off!! I WANT DEAN!! I WANT DEAN NOW!! I NEED DEAN!! I WANT DEAN!!!!" he screamed thrashing as people tried to hold him down, Mary was sobbing again at the sight in front of her and John wasn't far behind.

"Sammy, baby please, if you stop we'll go ask how Dean is okay, please baby just stop it," she cried on her knees.

"Please mommy I need Dean...please..." Sam sobbed calming his rage down.

"Sam, let them look at you, just for a second then I promise son we'll make sure we tell someone to go see how Dean is."

Sam nodded, he was clinging to his mother as the doctors cleaned out the wounds on his back but he knew if he just shut up for these few painful moments he could see Dean soon enough.

"All done, well done Sam," the doctor praised as he pressed clean bandages over the boy's cuts.

"D-Dean?" Sam asked his parents and it killed them how much pain there was in that single word.

"I've been told to come here with information on a Dean Winchester?" someone said coming in the room as the others left.

"How is he?" John asked moving to the bed to hold his son's other hand as his wife gripped Sammy's right.

"Are you sure your son is okay to hear this?" he asked looking at the long list.

John took one look at this boy and said, "he's fine," very firm and in so much more control than he was 5 hours ago.

"Well...Dean's healing ribs had broken entirely this time, they punctured his right lung twice but we've managed to re-inflate it. 3 of his fingernails were ripped off but that's nothing to worry about if his body keeps the infections away. He was bleeding internally but we think we've stopped it. His left hand was broken in several places so it's had to be screwed and set with a metal plate. The back of his head was bleeding quite a lot from a blow with something hard but his skull wasn't cracked so that's good. We've stitched his cuts and managed to do a graft on his cheek where there was a deep cut from the rope and it looks to have evened out the old scar there as well.And apart from having some deep bruises on his groin area, that's it."

"T-that's it?" John asked shocked at those heartless words.

"I'm sorry, I understand this must be hard...I was merely trying to say he's lucky to have been found and I think with time and care Dean will make a full recovery."

"T-thank you," Mary nodded as the steady stream of tears started again.

"I need to see Dean," Sam forced hoping not to cry as much as he knew he wanted to right now.

"I'm sorry but...he's in the PICU so it might be a while before they let your son up."

"Sammy, I'll make you a deal okay son...if you go to sleep, get plenty of rest for a few hours, then when you wake up we'll go straight to the PICU to see Dean and you can stay there for as long as you like," John smiled holding each side of Sam's face gently.

"Promise?" Sam asked when his eyes started to droop.

"I really really promise kiddo, go to sleep okay, we'll be right here and Dean will be waiting for you when you wake up."

Sam's eyes fluttered till they closed and Mary helped her baby get tucked in tight as she kept her place at the edge of the bed.

"Is it okay if I go up and see Dean now while Sam's asleep?" John asked the doctor.

"I think so, come on, I'll show you to his room."

"Thanks, Mary you okay here?" John asked as he stood.

"Yeah, we'll be fine, call me if anything happens."

"Yeah, you too."

Mary laid her head on her sons, got herself comfy and allowed her own eyes to close.

"John? Hey how you holding up?" a familiar voice asked.

"Better than Sammy," John forced out when he reached the corridor and shut Sam's room door behind him.

"Has he woken up?"

"Yeah, he wants Dean...listen I'm gonna go up for a little while...could you watch Sam and Mary for me?" John asked trusting Steve with the lives of his family.

"Of course, I'll take care of them John, call me when you know how Dean is."

"Thanks."

The doctor nodded asking John if he was ready to go up now and he nodded back after running a hand over his hair and down his face.

"He'll be out for some time with the pain meds so don't worry if he doesn't wake up anytime soon."

John nodded and waited for the doc to leave before he pushed the ICU door open and looked for the bed in the centre of the room.

"Oh god Dean..."

The boy was covered in bandages, head to toe he was wrapped up tight. He had an eye patch on the messed up side of his face, a wrap round his head from where he was forced back into a tree. A horrid metal vice thing that looked like some sort of torture weapon in itself round Dean's entire hand with pins drilled into his fingers and hand holding the shattered bones in place. Tubes came out from under the bed covers and John dreaded to think what else was under there if _THIS_ is what he _COULD_ see.

He sucked his own tears down and just concentrated on the fact that it was the boys that had been through the hell, not him or Mary, and they needed every bit of love and support right now.

He fed his fingers through Dean's slightly better hand that was just wrapped in bandages where the nails had been pulled from him fingers no doubt.

"It's okay now son, he can't hurt you anymore, he's as dead as a doornail."

Or at least he hoped he was...

_**TBC...**_

*****SPECIAL NOTE TO ALL YOU GUYS!!!*****

**Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year guys. **

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, favs and alerts. **

**2009 has been one weird and wonderful year full of ups and downs, I am so grateful for all the kind hearted and amazing people I've met this year. I wouldn't change my FFFFL's (FanFicFriendsForLife) for the world. **

**I think I speak for every female out there by saying 'ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MORE SAMMY AND DEAN!!!'**

**I wish you all and your families a kick ass 2010. **

**Love you!!!**

**Becka Looby Loo Loo and Cookie Bear x o x o x **

**Now get off this computer and go have an amazing Christmas on me. **

**See you all after the 25****th****.**


	12. Don’t let the silence do the talking

**I hope you had a good Christmas guys!!!**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Don't let the silence do the talking**

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Dean, look at me, Dean, come on son snap out of it!" John pleaded trying to hold Dean's flailing arms down.

Nurses and doctors rushed in to sedate him but John clearly wasn't having anymore drugs pumped into the poor kid, he needed love and care, not anti depressants and pills to make him so out of his head he couldn't string too words together.

They pushed him out of the way before he could protest. The 3 orderlies and 4 nurses dived on Dean to hold him down while the doctor tried to push liquid into his IV. But the most horrifying thing John was forced to endure was listening to the young boy's heavy breathing and the bed clunking as he thrashed. Dean was totally silent, John imagined the boy was screaming bloody murder inside but somehow he just couldn't get it out.

'_Sam's not here, he's dead...I killed him, oh god...they're gonna kill me...John's right there and he is gonna...oh god he looks mad...he's mad at me, he's gonna rip my skin from my bones!'_

Then one of the nurses holding Dean's right arm broke the silence, "we could try breathing techniques or the father could-"

"Let's try and keep his left arm still people! I need to get these meds in him now!" the doctor yelled cutting her off.

"This is wrong...this is so wrong..." John couldn't watch anymore, he had to save the boy's last shred of humanity while he could. "STOP!" he barked and everyone, including Dean found themselves obeying the drill sergeant order. "Everybody, just stop," he repeated with the same commanding tone but lowering his volume. "Now everybody back up."

The hospital staff pulled away from Dean slowly and the needle was removed from the IV line.

"Not you Dean," John told the kid as he pulled back up too.

"Sir please this is for the be-"

"If you say sedating him is for the best so help me god I will kick your ass and sedate you in a way that I won't need any intravenous drugs. Now get the hell out while I look after my foster son."

They all left quietly, some faster than others and the nicer nurse who was offering suggestions different from sedation smiled and closed the door after leaving last.

"Dean?" John asked turned to the boy but it was too late, Dean was fast on and it almost looked like he was trying to hide in his pillow, terrified even in his sleep. "You'll be okay kiddo, we'll make sure of it," John whispered taking his seat by the bed again and holding Dean's hand in his own.

_**SPN**_

"Dean? Dean you with me?" John asked the boy when he heard a whimper. "Dean? Come on son just open your eyes."

Dean mewed a few more time before he did as he was kindly coached to do.

"Dean?" John asked as the kid turned to face him. "Nightmare?" he asked, smiling sympathetically at him.

He thought Dean would nod yes or no, or hug and latch onto him like he did in the past, he did not expect what happened next.

"Whoa whoa Dean!" he yelped when the boy tried to scramble back off of the bed. "Dean don't, you're gonna hurt yourself, stop it son! Stop!" John yelled holding Dean in the middle of the mattress. "Sshh, Dean, ssh, it's okay, it's okay, just calm down, it's okay," John cooed when Dean's struggling simmered down to small shakes. He pulled the boy into half a hug then asked, "how you doing champ?" running a hand over the boys cropped hair careful of the bruises there.

'_Owww!! Stop it please get off me!! Please stop hurting me, I'm sorry.'_

"............"

John waited for the boy to say something, anything, but he got nothing after what felt like hours.

"Dean? Are you o..."

'_Does he look okay??!!'_ John asked himself when he saw the petrified stare Dean was glaring out.

"Dean?" he asked again, shaking Dean a little trying to get a response other than pure terror.

But all Dean did was stare as tremors ran through him.

"Dean? Are you hurting?" he asked even though with the list of injuries and pain lines on his face he knew full well what the answer was.

But still, Dean made no attempt to acknowledge the world around him.

"I'm just gonna go get the doctor okay, but you're gonna be fine kiddo."

John ran his hand over the boys hair once more then walked to the door, poked his head out and asked for some help.

Piper, the kind nurse, answered his call and made her way to the room as John took his place by Dean again.

"Hey come on kiddo, just breathe through it, come on..."

'_Think John, think! What's the one thing that Dean responds to when all else fails? Hang on...it's Sam...Sammy, that kid is the one person who Dean's ever felt normal around! Sammy!'_

"Come on Dean, for Sammy, he needs to know you're okay and if you don't-"

'_Sam? Kid? Oh my god...where the hell is he? He's...he got hurt cos of me...John's just waiting isn't he? He's waiting for me to get out of here then he's going to kill me. Oh god...'_

"Is everything okay in here?" Piper asked trying to keep her tones light for her patient's sake.

"He's um, he's not responding too much, but I think he's in pain so could you-?"

"I'll let his doctor know and he'll be in here in about 5 minutes with some meds for him is that okay?" she asked checking the monitors while she was in the room.

"Yeah thanks."

"Dean? Are you feeling up to some food? It's lunch time and we have some tuna sandwiches left I think."

In the split second the words left her mouth and entered his ears Dean turned an awful tinge of green.

Piper picked up a kidney dish from the side and held it under Dean's chin as he retched up the little he'd managed to eat over the last few days.

John sighed as he rubbed a comforting hand up and down Dean's back and held the dish as the nurse went to get another one.

"It's gonna be okay kid, sssh, it's okay."

'_God, somebody help me...'_ Dean cried before he heard someone else shuffling in the room and then it was lights out.

_**SPN**_

"Sam, come on baby it's okay, he's gonna be fine."

"No! You promised!" Sam screamed knocking her hand off his shoulder.

"I know sweetie but-"

"No! You promised that when I woke up, I could see him!"

"Sammy baby, Dean's not even awake right now, but listen to me."

"NO! Shut up! I don't believe you anymore! He's dead! Dean's dead and you keep lying to me!"

"No, no god Sammy, he's fine, he just woke up a few minutes ago, your dad called and he said he woke up but he was pretty scared so he's gonna need-"

"NO! Stop lying!"

"Sam-"

"NO! SHUT UP! THIS IS ALL DAD'S FAULT! IF HE NEVER MADE ME TELL ON DEAN THEN THAT MAN WOULDN'T HAVE CAUGHT US!!!"

"Sammy no, this is not anybody's fault but that bad man's okay!"

"N-no...this is all my fault...I told on Dean and I made him run off, this is all my fault! I killed Dean!"

"Whoa whoa Sammy buddy-"

"GET OFFA MEEE!!" Sam screamed punching Steve in the nose as he tried to help Mary out.

"What's going on in here?!" Dr. Tanner asked rushing in with several staff on her tail.

"No please, he's just scared please don't!" Mary sobbed as Steve held her back and the doctor pushed meds into Sam's line knocking the boy out before the panic attack got any worse.

"Mary I'm-"

"He's just a boy, he's just a scared little boy who wants answers, who wants Dean..." Mary cried as Steve guided her to a chair.

"How about I call John and he can come down here and look after you guys?"

"N-no, Dean needs just as much support, we'll be fine, we just...they have to be together...I don't...I don't know it's like...2 sides of a coin or something."

"Mary I don't...I don't follow..."

"Sam and Dean, Dean and Sam...they...they need each other to...we can't separate them, we need to get them together somehow but I don't...."

Mary had no clue what she was saying, she just wanted things to get better, she needed things to be okay. She wished she could say she wanted things to go back to the way they were, before Dean was living in their spare room, before Sam got attacked, before they ended up in hospital dying without each other, but she couldn't because Sam and Dean were just meant to be okay together.

"I'll just go to John, fill him in on Sammy okay?" Steve told her knowing as much as she tried to deny it, Mary needed her husband right now.

"O-okay."

"I'll also get talking to some bosses round here, maybe they can make some arrangements for the kids to be in the same room or something."

"Than...thank you," Mary said gripping his hand then letting go as he left. She shuffled the chair back to her baby now the staff had left and hoped and prayed the family could go home, healed and together, sometime soon.

_**SPN**_

Dean was now curled on his side, his knees to his chest and his face tucked in his pillow. It hurt but he was trying to protect himself from someone, so he didn't care.

John was sleeping in the chair next to him and Dean hoped he stayed that way.

'_Please don't kill me please don't kill me...I'm sorry for Sam, I tried, I really tried, I'm sorry....'_

He knew Sam wasn't there, he knew he was hurting, he could tell somehow, and he prayed to god the kid was okay, in fact he wished Sam would just walk through that door and hug him or something, but then his mind went back to how selfish that was. Sam wasn't here because he was hurt, and he was hurt because of him, he knew it, Ron knew it, John, Mary, Sam and the whole damn world knew it!

"_Nobody wants you...you get everyone you love killed, nobody wants you around, you little shit!"_

"_Please stop uncle Ron I'm sorry, please I'm sorry for mommy and daddy please... I tried, I really did uncle Ron, I'm sorry I got my mommy killed..."_

"_SHUT UP!!"_

Dean felt the fist from all those years ago hit him in the face, it was the first time Ron had gotten drunk, it was the first night he'd been sent home with Ron, and it was the first but by no means last time he'd gotten a blood filled burning black bruise.

He was sick of being hurt and hurting others, he knew what he needed to do. He wasn't waiting any longer for John to wake up and tear him to shreds so he pushed the covers off and stood from the bed.

"Ah!" he yelped when his knees gave out and he felt a white hot flash through his body.

"MMgg...wha...Dean? Dean?!" John yelled when he saw the bed empty.

"Mmmhh make it stop!" he heard the boy cry from the other side of the bed.

"Dean? Oh god...come on let me help you up," John said when he saw Dean curled on the floor in agony.

He lifted him on the bed without Dean's cooperation and that's when the bleeping got louder.

"What...?" he asked trying to figure out which one it was.

"What happened?" the doctor asked rushing in the room with several nurses and John was about to yell at the dick to leave when Dean started coughing loud and wet.

"Oh my...what? What's that? What's happening to him?" John yelled when blood spatters were leaking from Dean's mouth as he coughed and whimpered.

"Sir if you could step out of the way."

The doctor lifted Dean's hospital gown and felt his stomach getting a loud cry from the boy.

"He's bleeding internally again, we've gotta get him up to the OR," the doctor announced.

They kicked off the breaks on the bed and before John could ask about what was going to happen and if Dean was going to be okay, the bed was wheeled from the room and John was left standing alone in the cold empty room.

"Hey John I was just coming up to...where's Dean?" Steve asked entering the room with a puzzled look on his face that turned to worry when he saw his old friend.

"He was uh...I fell asleep and when I woke up Dean must have fallen or crawled off the bed and when I picked him up alarms starting going off and...they rushed in here and then they said something about the OR and now he..."

"John, deep breathes, come on Dean's gonna be a while if he's in the OR and I think Mary needs a break down there."

"Is Sammy okay?"

'_No!' _

"I'll let Mary fill you in okay."

_**TBC...**_

**HELP! **

**Little favour to ask guys, does anyone know anymore sites I can post my fics on? I made some art (that I'm so proud of hehe!!) and I would love to post them with the stories but unfortunately FF doesn't allow pictures. **

**Oh and I tried Superville (I think that's the name) but they have rules about child abuse and what not so anyone know any sites that doesn't have rules that I would break by posting my fics. PS. Site links don't work on here I think so if anyone can help me out can you put them down in a way that I'll be able to see the site name? Love ya'll! **


	13. I come to you in pieces, so you can make

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**I come to you in pieces, so you can make me whole**

"Come on Dean, come on," Mary chanted as she rocked herself sitting on the chair that would be next to Dean's bed if he was in the room.

It was her turn to be with Dean and John's turn to sit with Sam. Steve had gone home to get some sleep before his next shift started and he told them he would get all the statements from the boys sorted in the best way he could.

"Oh thank god," Mary gasped when she caught sight of 2 nurses wheeling a very groggy Dean in the room. "Is he okay?" she asked them when they replaced the breaks and situated the boy.

"There was a small bleed in his spleen but we've stopped it and as long as he doesn't try to run a marathon anytime soon he should be okay. The oxygen is just to pick up his SAT's a little from the strain his body is under right now but it's nothing serious," the doctor assured Mary motioning to the nasal cannula under Dean's nose.

"Thank you," Mary said then she turned to face the boy.

"M-mmm...smm...mmrr."

"He'll be a little groggy from the anaesthetic but once he sleeps it off he should be feeling much better."

Mary nodded then moved in to hold Dean's hand, she squeezed it tight then cupped the boy's cheek in comfort.

"Close your eyes Dean, get some rest baby."

He nodded as a light smile graced his face and his eye lids closed.

Mary didn't take her hands away when she felt him drop to sleep, her left still cupped the boy's face and her right still squeezed his hand tight for support.

"Sweet dreams sweetheart."

_**SPN**_

"Psst, John," Steve whispered at the door waving John to come step out of the room.

"I'll be right back Sammy," John promised, he leaned down and kissed his sons forehead before standing from his chair and walking to the doorway.

"No change huh?"

"No, he won't talk to me, won't move, won't eat...just lays there," John whispered.

"Well I think I have some news that might change that," Steve smiled happy with himself. John didn't seem in the 'ooh what? Tell me, tell me!' mood so he carried on without the guessing game crap, "I pulled some strings-"

"That would be an understatement," Sam's doctor said coming down the hall to join in the meeting. "Your friend here made all my staff come to the conclusion that Sam will be a lot calmer if he gets up to Dean for a few hours, some disagreed but your...friend had ways to pursued them I hear."

"Hey I didn't make any death threats."

"No, you just told them you have a gun and it hurts to get shot in the foot. I say that's enough of a threat to get you suspended, officer."

"Look-" John started, about to scream at the entire hospital for not realising all this was about the boys, not about who can blackmail who into what.

"As it is, I agree, I think Sam needs to be with his foster brother, we can't keep pumping him with sedatives and anxiety meds until he's well enough to be discharged and he's technically allowed to see Dean, something's gotta give sooner or later."

"So he can see Dean?" John asked hopeful but still not totally understanding the woman.

"Yes, he can see Dean, but I want to make a deal with you all first: Okay, number one, Sam must stay in the wheelchair at all times, he's not to get up or move around unless it's for the bathroom, I hear your boys have a tendency to think they're superman."

'_Guess she knows about the Dean Houdini stunt.' _

"And my second...and last condition is, he can stay up there for an hour, then he comes back to his room and rests. If it goes well today then tomorrow we'll make it an hour and half."

"Thank you...so much, I'll go get Sammy up," John said shaking her hand then practically sprinting back inside the room. "Sam, Sammy come on kiddo, you can see Dean."

"Go'way."

"Sammy, don't you wanna see Dean?" John asked, already picking up Sam's dressing gown Steve had picked up from the house along with several other things for the boys.

"In a body bag? No thank you," Sam mumbled with tears in his voice.

"Sam, buddy, Dean is gonna be fine, just like you are, he's in the PICU upstairs...it stands for paediatric intensive care unit."

Sam didn't like the sound of that, he had no idea what it meant but it didn't sound good.

"It's where all the really sick kids go...like...the ones who can't breathe right or the ones that can't wake up...but don't worry okay Sammy, the doctors have assured us it's just in case, as soon as they know Dean won't need a little help with breathing then he can come down here on a regular ward like you, okay?"

"Why can't he breathe? Only dead people can't breathe!" Sam cried thinking his dad had just spelt it out for him.

"No, no god no Sammy, Dean can breathe but he just needs a little help right now...and if he needs just a little more help he'll be in the best place there. But it's just for a few days, he can breathe okay? Just not as well as he usually can."

Sam held onto those words and prayed his dad was telling the truth.

"A lot of people round here have made a lot of arrangements for you to be able to see Dean, so come on buddy...please?"

Sam sniffled then pushed himself up and only hissed a few times as his dad helped him into the dressing gown and into the awaiting wheelchair.

"Cheer up Sammy, come on, I thought you wanted to see Dean?"

Sam didn't answer, he just looked at his slippers as his dad wheeled him to the lifts.

"John," Steve called so he stopped and turned to listen. "I'll see you tomorrow man, I'm heading home for some sleep before my shift starts. Oh and don't worry about your work or Mary's or the school, I got everything covered."

"Thanks dude, I owe you big time after this is over."

"Nar, just buy me a steak dinner and we're even."

"Deal," John shook his friend's hand then walked into the lift with his son. "Sammy, you know everything's gonna be okay, right sport?"

"........"

"Sam?" John asked again.

"................."

"Okay, save your talking for Dean right?" John smiled, trying to make any kind of conversation but his obviously depressed and traumatised son wasn't having it. "Up to Dean we go."

_**SPN**_

"Dean, sweetie, come on wake up...look who's here to see you."

"Mom, he doesn't like people talking to him like that," Sam told his mother who, in his eyes, seemed to be babying Dean.

"Sammy, I was just trying to be nice sweetheart, I know you're sad and I know you're upset but that does not mean you get to throw your manners and personality out of the window okay?"

Sam then mumbled something but Mary didn't quite catch it so she gave him a look asking him to repeat himself.

"You don't know, you weren't there and you don't know Dean."

"Sam, stop it okay, I might not know as well as you, and you're right, I wasn't there baby, but I'm pretty sure Dean wouldn't want you to act this way."

"Act what way?" Sam asked but he knew he was just trying his mom's patience.

"Sam, if you carry on like this then I'm taking you back to your room understood?"

"Sorry," Sam mumbled actually meaning it this time.

"I know you are baby, okay I'm just gonna go call your dad okay?" she kissed her son on the top of his head then left the room quietly.

She wasn't calling John, she wasn't sure what she was going to do for the next ten minutes, she could call John but that defeated the whole object of sending him home to get some sleep stating he could take the next shift with the boys tomorrow.

A few staff members passed her and smiled as she wandered the corridor, some parents of critically ill children were just sitting chatting to their unconscious children like they could hear every spoken word, it was heart breaking and she thanked whoever was up there that sent her son, and foster son back to her in almost one piece.

She had enough of the staring and glaring so she walked on back to the room she left the boys alone in.

She was about to walk in, but the voice, the sniffles, the cries of her baby boy stopped her.

_**SPN**_

Sam's mom left the room and he just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Dean, I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry, this is all my fault! And I don't know what to do to make it better, you probably don't want to live with us...me anymore, but I don't know how to help you if you leave, you'll be all alone and...I'm sorry Dean, I'm really sorry...what if the family that fosters you is as bad as your uncle?"

That thought, and the notion of saying it out loud cut Sam to shreds.

"I'm sorry Dean, I promised not to tell but I did anyway, I'm sorry! P-please don't hate me...please, you're the only friend I've ever had...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sam sobbed to the sky needing someone to hear him.

He stood from his chair, did his best to ignore how much his back hurt and shuffled on his fragile toes towards the bed. He pulled Dean's hand in his own and held on tight like the older boy would rip it away in disgust if he was awake.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." the young boy continued to chant.

When tears dripped from his face and onto Dean's cheek Sam was ready to bolt.

But then Dean's eyes opened, he looked up, and when he felt the warm shaking hand holding his, he gripped on tighter with all he had in him and prayed the comforting warmth wouldn't leave. He couldn't see who it was, he could barely make out the difference between light and dark right now, but all he needed to know was this person looking down on him, wasn't going to hurt him.

"Dean? Dean I'm sorry I didn't mean to get you hurt, I'm sorry," Sam started, he stopped himself when the hand in his got tighter, cutting off the blood supply to his fingers, he could see Dean's knuckles were at an alarming white color and his skin was pulled taut with how tight he was holding on. "Dean?" Sam asked when he thought Dean was awake but the older boy had gone back in his deep sleep, postponing the pain just for a little while longer.

But Sam took this as a sign of Dean telling him to leave, he didn't want to wake up with such a snot nosed tell tale in the room.

"Dean, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this is all my fault...." the boy cried and was relieved when he felt someone wrap their loving arms round him. He leaned into the familiar company and let himself cry.

"Sshh, it's okay Sammy, Dean doesn't hate you, look how tight he's holding on, he doesn't want you to leave okay?" Mary said trying to make her baby see what everyone else did.

Sam didn't nod or shake his head, or show any sign he heard at all, he just cried into his mother's loving chest not daring to let go.

_**SPN**_

"How long's he been sitting like that?" John asked standing at the door with his wife.

"Pretty much all day, the nurses decided to leave them both together till visiting hours are over, Dean's results are getting better now so...plus he's holding onto Sammy's hand for dear life, I just wish Sam could see Dean needs him. But he just sits there begging for Dean not to hate him, sometimes he stops to have a cry but others....he just screams for forgiveness and..."

"This is all my fault...I pushed Sam into telling, I made him break the secret between them..."

"John we can't blame anyone, this is nobody's fault but that monster's..."

"Yeah...." John nodded agreeing with his wife for the sake. "But I don't understand how all this...how insane Dean went over school, I mean that's where it all started, we asked Dean about starting school again and Sam said he hadn't been to school for 2 years. I don't get how it went from that to this..."

"Maybe we need to ask them both about it...or...just talk to Sam and let him ask Dean."

"Yeah, maybe....listen you better go home, get some sleep."

"Like _I_ told _you_ to do?" Mary said looking at her husband's dark circles that were steadily getting bigger.

"I had...stuff to do...got side tracked."

"Sure, okay, I'll see you in a few hours, love you."

"Love you too," he said kissing her on the lips.

"Sammy, I'm gonna go now for a few hours is that okay baby?"

Sam nodded with his back to his parents.

"Your dad is here okay, love you baby."

Sam nodded and mumbled something similar to I love you too and she left.

"Sammy, you okay kiddo?" John asked taking his place next to his son...s. He pulled his youngest into his side hoping to comfort his boy just a little. "You in any pain buddy?"

Sam nodded ever so slightly on his father's chest so John pressed the call button for a nurse to come and give him something.

_**SPN**_

"NO!"

"Sammy come on you need to lie down in a bed kiddo."

"NO! I'm not leaving till Dean knows I'm sorry!"

"Sam I'm sure he-"

"SHUT UP!!! YOU DON'T KNOW!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!! I WISH EVERYONE WOULD STOP SAYING THAT!! THE ONLY ONE THAT KNOWS IS DEAN AND HE HATES ME!!!"

"K-kid?" someone piped up over the yelling.

'_He's awake?....what do I do now?...'_

"Dean -I"

'_Sam...holy crap look at him...I did that to him....oh my god this is all my fault...what do I say now?....'_

"Dean I'm so s-"

"Y-yeah me too."

"Dean, please don't hate me...I'm so sorry for...I know I promised and....I'm sorry this is all my fault...."

Sam started to sob, breaking John's and Dean's hearts.

"K-kid....Sam, don't do that....please, I-....I'm sorry, sorry for calling you a little prick, I-..."

"I deserved it...this is all cos of me....you shouldn't have tried to help me....he hurt you even more....I get it now....I know why everyone thinks I'm such a loser....I wanted you to see I wasn't just a little selfish prick so bad and....I'm so sorry."

"Sam... please....I-I....I needed to try to save you...I shouldn't have been so scared...I should have stood up to him more and you wouldn't be in here.....I tried so hard....and I still failed...he's right, I'm just a failure and waste not worth shit...man I tried so fucking hard...." Dean sobbed.

"Stop saying that! You shouldn't have tried at all!!! You should have let me die! You should have let him kill me then you could have run away from him and you could be happy on your own...away from him, away from me..." Sam took his hand from Dean's tight grasp and pushed himself from the chair, about to run for Dean's sake more than his own, but the shaking hand once more reached for his and pulled him back down.

"S-Sam...Sammy....I can't....I...I need...." Dean was having such a hard time getting the words out, it sounded so painful for him to speak, John was seconds away from going to yell for a nurse, but the words spoken next made him understand, "I c-can't be....alone....please...."

Sam stopped his mumbles, he stopped his apologies, and he stopped his tears, pausing all of himself for those 5 simple...sinfully painful words Dean had forced out.

John watched as they both tore themselves apart, thinking the same thing about each other, they both felt so guilty over something neither of them could control and it was ripping them both to pieces.

"Kids...stop, right now."

And they both did, they stopped the simultaneous mumbles of apologies, Dean mostly did it out of fear and confusion, Sam did it because he couldn't speak anymore over the tears.

"Boys...we need to talk."

_**TBC...**_

**NEWS!!**

**Okay, first, this will be the last chapter for a while, I have a huge Law test on the 20****th**** and if we don't pass, we get kicked off the course, so no pressure. So I'm going to knuckled down and I'll be back after the exam, thankfully Supernatural starts the next day (I think/I really really hope) so that will be my treat :D**

**Second, and last, I had a huge brainwave inspired by another story on LiveJournal , don't want to give any details away but that will be coming soon. My LJ is the homepage link on my FF profile by the way. So if you wanna check the art for this story out, head over there :D *hint hint*.**

**See you guys after the 20****th****.**


	14. Fighting the darkness

**Okay, I don't usually swear, but today I need to, THANK FUCK THAT'S OVER!!!**

**Finally I can have my life back!! Jeez!!! Why are exams so much stress? Its only a test....yeah, they used to be, I mean really...the person who invented them needs hunting down and...well let's just say I want Alistair to join in the torturing. **

**4 hours a week of revision my law teacher told me, huh, yeah, try 4 hours a day!!! Yes, I did 4 hours a DAY!! And my other teacher told me it was unacceptable and downright impossible for me to do 4 hours a week in one subject...I can't win!!! **

**You know what, I don't care if I failed, couldn't have worked harder if I had tried!!! **

**Also, we had to plan our future yesterday, 40 years of our lives in 2 mins, who comes up with this crap?!! I hate planning!! With a passion!!! How many people on the planet thought when you were 17, right, I'm going to be a teacher/nurse/lawyer etc, then went on in the same job till they retire at 65? Get with it people, nobody, even the lousy planners of this aim future crap planned they wanted to be a job counsellor when they were my age. **

**God I hate some folk!!!!**

**Okay, enough of my rant...**

**Here it is....**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Fighting the darkness**

"Sir, excuse me?"

"Uh...wha...what? What's wrong?" John rushed, rubbing the sleep away and turning his eyes straight to where he knew the boys were.

"Sorry...um, visiting hours are over I'm afraid-"

"I'm not leaving," John snapped thinking the nurse was telling him he had to leave.

"No, I mean your son..." John frowned, totally not understanding all this cryptic crap the stuttering nurse was babbling out. "Your youngest son, he needs to go back to his own room."

"Oh...right," John looked at his watch and his eyes went wide when he saw how fast the day had gone and how dark it was. Though he was blissfully happy to see both boys had managed to get 4 hours of peaceful sleep now that they were next to each other.

'_Guess I fell asleep before they did,'_ he said to himself, knowing when he was awake last, Sam was in his wheelchair and Dean was flat on his back taking up the whole bed with his broad shoulders.

Now, Sam was curled on the end of Dean's bed and the older kid, squished up to the far end, had an arm wrapped round the little boy as he snuggled into the pillow himself. At first glance John wasn't sure if Dean was holding Sam to keep him on the bed or just because he needed someone to hold onto, but after a second though, John's heart was telling him it was the latter. "Do I really have to wake 'em? This is probably the best night's sleep they've had in days."

"I'm sorry sir, hospital policy, and _he_ really shouldn't be on the bed like that," she said almost snotty, pointing to Sam. "If you don't want to wake them then I can do it if you'd pref-"

"No, thank you, I don't think a complete stranger waking two traumatised kids will help anyone," John mumbled to himself.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my shift just started, I haven't had time to read your son's file yet."

"Sam?"

John knew it was wrong, even though Dean had only been living with them just short of a month; the older boy was just as much his son as Sam was, and it was wrong for his mind to immediately jump to Sammy when someone said the word 'son.'

"Sam's the oldest?"

John resisted the urge to sigh at the woman, wasn't it obvious which one was Dean and which one was Sam? Dean had his freakin name written in wipe away pen on the board above his bed post, and he was the one who looked worse for wear, and this wasn't called the ICU for nothing.

'_What kind of people do they allow to pass nurse exams if this one can't even put 2 and 2 together?'_

"No, Dean's the oldest, our foster son, Sam is our..." he stopped himself from saying 'real son' just in time, "he's our biological son."

"Our?" the nurse asked biting her nails to refrain from waking Sam up and pulling him from the bed, she was gonna get shot if the marten came in and saw two patients in one ICU bed.

"Me and my wife," John said like she was stupid, he didn't mean to offend, but this woman was trying his patience, and after the last few weeks he and his family had, there wasn't much left.

"Oh right, sorry, um so..." she pointed to the boys curled together then gave John an irritated look telling him to hurry up already.

John made no effort to stop himself from sighing this time. He mumbled something about stupid hospitals changing their policies for some assholes, but not for the people who needed it then stood and leaned over the boys. His hand raised and he slowly shook Sam's shoulder waking his little boy.

"Sammy?"

John could see now, Sam wasn't as peaceful as he thought, beads of panicking sweat were rising from his skin and his chest was pounding harder that it should be.

"Mmm...no...Dnn..."

"Sammy, wake up kiddo, it's just a bad dream."

Sam hadn't had a bad dream since Mary and John came up with the amazing idea of taking their 4 year old son to the circus where he got lost and then apparently got 'attacked' by a clown. Poor Sammy couldn't tell the difference between someone trying to help him and someone wanting to take him away when he was that age.

'_Man he had nightmares for months...and they weren't pretty, what the hell are these gonna be like? A psycho nut job tying and beating him is a hell of a lot scarier than a weird dude with a red wig.'_

"Sammy, come on buddy open your eyes, you're safe, we just gotta go back to your room for a little bit okay?"

"D-dad?" Sam asked, alert if not awake just yet.

"Yeah sport, you with me?"

Sam nodded then moved his chin down so he could see whose arm was round him.

"Dean's fine, come on kiddo hop back in the chair, we gotta go back to your room for a little bit."

John pushed the wheelchair closer to the bed and the nurse nodded a thank you.

"What about Dean?" Sam questioned, his innocent, painful voice breaking even with a few words.

"What _about_ Dean?" John repeated not knowing what his kid was going on about, Dean was in his own room, it was Sam that wasn't.

"If we go back...he'll wake up alone."

"No, no he won't, look he's got nurses and doctors and...lots of other people looking out for him, you'll be able to come back first thing in the morning, I promise kiddo."

"Dad I might be 10, but I'm not stupid, Dean doesn't like nurses and doctors...and the _other_ people, I'm staying."

Sam had aged years in about 5 seconds just then, his voice was strong and confident, like he was positive nobody was going to make him move from the spot if he said otherwise.

"Sam I wish you could but...it's not up to me."

"N-ow..." Sam suddenly winced, frowning as the arm got tighter round his middle.

"Sammy?" John asked and the nurse even closed in worried about the sudden change of tone.

"Dean?" Sam asked trying to pry the arm off a little so he could breathe.

Dean didn't say anything, his eyes were wide, his mind was switched onto full power and there was no way he was letting Sam leave him, he didn't like the idea of what might happen if the kid wasn't around, or rather...where his mind might end up and what he might do to himself if Sam wasn't there to brighten the room for him. It was selfish but he was too scared of being alone to care.

"Can't we just sort this out in the morning? They're not causing any trouble where they are."

"I'm sorry but I could get fired if I don't follow-"

"So this isn't even about the health of my kid-ds, this is about your job security...god you hospital staff are some piece of work huh?"

"Dad what's going on?" Sam asked confused about his dad's anger.

"It's okay boys...come on Dean just loosen up a bit, I can call Mary if you want her to come sit with you till the morning? How about that kid?"

Dean could feel his fear building as John talked to him, looked right in his eye, and spoke too kind for it to be sincere. He swallowed the lump in his throat and let go of Sam, but the little kid didn't move when he was evidently 'free'. He kept his position on the bed despite the fact that he could feel himself slipping now Dean was no longer holding him.

John eased his son from the bed, careful of the cuts on his back and slowly helped him into the wheelchair the boy had come to despise very quickly.

"Come on Sammy, let's get you back to your room."

"But-"

"No buts Sam."

Sam pulled his arm swift and rough from his father's hold and grunted in frustration, fear, and sadness.

"Can't we just stay, just until mom comes?"

John didn't need to think about it, Sam was a genius.

"You're right Sammy, I'll just go call your mom and then we'll wait till she gets here, that okay Dean?"

Sam smiled, his face lit up the room, glad his dad was listening to him finally. He looked over at Dean and smiled as though he was telling the older boy it was a good thing, what just happened was a good thing.

Dean nodded, it was just a small, very shaky nod, but a nod none the less.

The nurse didn't look too happy but John chose to ignore it and mouthed to her he was going to call his wife and thankfully the nurse left after him.

"I'll be right back boys, behave," he warned jokingly then left with some change in his hand.

"Dean?" Sam frowned when he didn't get a response, "Deeaann?" he repeated in a sing-song voice.

Dean looked up from his chin towards the kid calling his name.

"Are you okay?"

Dean shrugged, mostly because he didn't know how to answer questions like that.

"In Dean speak I think that's no," Sam smiled, but the ghost of happiness left pretty quickly when he knew Dean had gone back inside himself again, only something told him this time, it was worse. "I-I-I'm sorry," Sam stuttered, he wasn't sure why, his dad had made it perfectly clear to them both, when they had their 'talk' that neither of them should blame themselves and if they do need anything or anyone to be angry at, get angry at the monster that hurt them.

"_Attack your attacker and he'll go away,"_ were his dad's words.

"N-not your fault....m-mine," Dean whispered, broken, and beaten. He knew it, Sam knew it, John knew, and the whole damn world knew it, Ron had finally broken him, once and for all, only the saddest part was, the dick wasn't around to appreciate his handy work, so the broken Dean was just going to waste, or that's how Dean saw it anyway.

"Dean?"

Dean looked up, hoping the kid wasn't going to yell or cry or something, he couldn't handle that right now.

"I-I know what I say won't change much, right now anyway, but...I just wanted you to know, I got really scared when I saw what he was doing to you...I don't know why, and you're probably gonna think I'm really gay and lame or something for feeling like this considering I've only known you for like...4 weeks, but, I got really scared when Ron...."

"S'okay...I w-was a sissy...sorry for letting him get y-you...I should have fought harder, I know that, maybe you wouldn't have to be scared right now."

"No, I don't mean like that...I wasn't scared...I'm not scared for me, I got scared for you, like I was so af-ff-fraid when I thought he was gonna kill you. I thought you died, an-and..." Sam couldn't go on any longer, he broke down in sobs.

Dean was taken aback, sure he knew if anything happened to this kid, this awesome, sweet, caring, kind kid in front of him, he would shoot himself, aim right in the mouth and pull the trigger, but he had no idea it was a two way street.

"Sam....Sammy please don't cry, please..."

Dean just watched as Sam cried, and rocked himself on the creaking wheelchair.

'_I can't believe I'm about to say this...'_

"I'm fine...don't worry about me kid, I'm not dead."

"B-but you could have been, you nearly were..." Sam argued.

"Yeah...I'm sorry..." was all Dean could whisper out before a nurse, and both of Sam's parents entered the room, effectively ending their conversation as Mary went to comfort her baby and John went to pat him on the shoulder. He did his best not to flinch but it was hard.

"Come on kids, let's get you both settled for the night and you can pick this up in the morning," John said and he took the wheelchair handles in his hands and pushed Sam out the room, still crying, too upset to think straight.

"John thought it would be better if I stayed with you tonight, is that okay Dean?" Mary asked Dean as she fluffed his pillows, she needed to keep herself busy so she wouldn't run after her baby boy crying and sobbing through the ICU halls.

Dean nodded and turned his head away from her.

"The doctors have said if you carry on like this then you can be in a room with Sam by tomorrow morning."

'_Yeah right, like I'm that lucky.'_

"Get some sleep Dean, I'll be right here baby."

Mary ran her hand through Dean's cropped hair lulling him to sleep, and thankfully it worked.

"Night sweetheart," she tucked him in tighter, made sure his bad hand was situated on the pillow by his side comfortably then smiled as his eyes fluttered shut.

'_Should I give him a kiss goodnight? Does he know me well enough? Do I know him well enough? Would he take it the wrong way with all that has happened in his past? What actually happened in his past? How did he come to be a hunter? Why was he trained so young? What really happened to his parents? Will he be okay? Physically...mentally?'_

Mary ran her hands over her face and back through her wavy hair as a million questions ran through her mind, and a million and one answers popped up alongside them.

She prayed to her God, Dean would let them in and answer all these worries she had, if not now, then hopefully in months, years to come. If Dean sticks around that long, she knew hunters, and she knew Dean certainly had the know how to get himself from one side of the country to the other if he had to. And that scared her too much to bear, if Dean didn't want to be bound, controlled, constricted to a normal life like she had learned to, the boy could get out whenever he wanted.

She hoped the boy had enough strength and courage to find his place in the world with herself and her family, away from hunting, and away from pain.

She was praying hard for that one.

_**TBC...**_


	15. Should we call this a lesson learned?

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Should we call this a lesson learned?**

The next day both boys were deemed fit enough to have roommates and sure enough it was each other. John and Mary had gone for coffee leaving the boys alone to talk...but nothing could be heard but the dripping tap of the sink in front of their beds.

Dean couldn't take it anymore, the drip drip drip and the stupid white walls were driving him nuts, he was suffocating in this damn room and Sam looked like he wanted some fresh air too.

"Come on...I can't stay in this bed any longer."

Dean grunted a few times, pulled out his IV, quick and painless, then pushed himself off the bed and tried his best not to collapse while he made his way over to the chairs.

"You comin'?" he asked Sam when he'd regained his composure and walked towards the door. His legs were about to give way, his hand hurt like hell and weighed a ton with the wire thing round it, his ribs and surgical slits were screaming for him to lie back down already, but he ignored all that and pushed the door open nodding Sam to come along as well.

"Dean what are you doing?!"

"Getting out of this box, I'm going stir crazy in here and I know you are too."

"Dean you're hurt."

"I've had worse, come on before they come back, I'm not going for a walk on my own, so come on."

"Fine but you take the chair," Sam insisted standing from his bed and pushing the wheelchair he had used towards Dean.

"Kid sit down, you shouldn't be-"

"I'm fine, you need it more than me, they only made me ride in that thing cos of dumb hospital policy.

"F-fine, just don't push me into a wall," Dean joked taking a seat and grateful Sam was just as stubborn as he was.

"I'll try...where we going?" Sam asked pushing the wheelchair through the room's doors, carefully making sure Dean's hand was safely in his lap and not dangling by his side so it wouldn't get squished on the doors.

"Left, your mom and dad went right."

"How'd you know?" Sam questioned pushing Dean left anyway.

"I take note of my surroundings too much."

"Oh......"

'_Hey the questions have stopped. Thank god, kid you are too nosy for your own good sometimes.'_

"Dean?"

'_Spoke too soon.'_

"Yeah?"

"Are you really sure we should be doing this? I mean we could get in a lot of trouble and-"

"Sam, live dangerously okay?"

"So you've done this before I take it?"

"What? Sprung myself from hospital beds? Yeah, just never had side kick to help me."

"Does that make me Robin?"

"If that's what you like to refer to, sure."

"My dad is gonna kill me..." Sam moaned as they walked down the surprisingly empty hallway.

'_I'll kill him first kid...don't you worry.'_

_**SPN**_

"Shouldn't we go back?"

"Why?" Dean asked making himself comfortable on the chairs round the small fountain they found not minutes ago.

"I'm gonna get into trouble."

"So?"

"So, I'm already gonna be in trouble when we get home."

Dean saw the look of fear on Sam's face and he knew who was to blame.

"What's he gonna do? Cos if he ever laid a hand on you then I swear to god-"

"No! No he wouldn't do that, my dad has never hit me, he wouldn't do that to either of us I swear. He's just...he'll be disappointed in me again, he is enough already."

"Disappointed? Sam aren't you like every parent's dream kid? Your grades at school are perfect, you don't hang around with any punks as far as I can see, you're scared about being in trouble even though you said they won't punish you, and you're...you're a great kid, why the hell would he be disappointed in you?"

"I'm a loser, my dad was one of the popular kids in school, he played football and got all the chicks, I'm just a disappointment and I can tell he knows it too."

"So what does he say?"

"Nothing, my dad's great, I love my dad...but I'm just sick of being the person the bullies pick on, I wanna be like my dad, like you, but I'm not."

"Huh? Why in the hell would you wanna be like me?"

"Cos you're probably really good at sports and you don't let anyone walk over you like I do."

"Sam...I let...my uncle walk marathons over me, you stood up to him and...I'm just sorry I guess."

"Yeah...me too..."

"Sam I'm pretty sure your dad isn't disappointed in you for being book smart, hell I wish was half as smart as you."

"Really?" Sam asked and Dean thought once again how cute he was, _'do all 10 year olds need this much reassurance?'_

"Really...book smart means you get a good job, nice wife, lots-a kids, white picket fence, me...well I'm stuck with this god forsaken life till it kills me."

"What do you mean? Like with what you kill and stuff?"

"Pretty much."

"So you're leaving again?" Sam asked innocently begging for Dean to stay.

"Sooner or later...yeah, I have to get back to finding the son of a bitch that killed my parents."

"Oh...so, it wasn't a robbery that they were...?"

"No, I wish..."

"What happened to them?" Sam asked, then instantly regretted it when Dean got a look of pain in his eyes. "I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me, I can understand you not telling me much anymore, after what I did..."

"No that's...that' not it, I'm just not ready to talk about it yet, might not ever be...sorry I'm not trying to be an ass I just, I can't talk about that."

"That's okay, can I help?"

"With what?"

"When you take off, can I help?"

"No, don't even think about it, I don't wanna drag you into this shit, and I'm not going to."

"Oh...o-okay, sorry."

"You wanna get back?" Dean asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, okay, but I don't know where we are," Sam admitted pushing forward with the wheelchair Dean was still sat in.

"Turn left..." Dean told him and then right, then up the hill, then down and round, and soon enough they found themselves back in the ward they had ran from an hour ago.

"WHERE HAVE YOU TWO BEEN?!!"

'_Shit...now I'm dead...'_

'_Shit, got Sam into trouble again...crap.'_

_**SPN **_

It had been three days since they got yelled at, John went on for at least an hour just pacing and yelling how stupid it was for them to take off, especially when he and Mary had trusted them enough to leave them alone, and then they go and blow it again.

Later that day after a few x-rays, Dean was scheduled for another operation, this one was to take the pins out from his hand and have a regular cast fitted. The scans showed Dean's hand had healed enough in the last 5 days not to need the frame in his fingers anymore, much to Dean's relief because every time he looked at the damn metal round his hand he felt like throwing up.

A few days after that Sam was released, then hours later after Dean had proved he could walk on his own without support now his injuries had healed even more, he finally got released too and the Winchesters were allowed to go home.

The ride from the hospital was pretty short and awkward, no one spoke and no music was played, that worried Sam a whole lot because his dad always had AC/DC playing no matter what mood he was in.

John dumped the bags down at the door and Mary turned on the lights in the house.

"Okay, Sam in your room, Dean in yours," he ordered making both boys march off in different directions.

"But _ddaaaddd_ I'm not tired," Sam whined making Dean almost snort.

"Up those stairs now young man, hard core grounding starts right here. You are not to leave your rooms unless it's to go to the bathroom or there's a freak flood. No video games, books, TV or anything else till I say your time of grounding is up. Understand?" he asked both boys who nodded silently. "Good, now march, I don't want to see either of you moving from those rooms till me and your mom call you down for dinner, got it?"

They nodded once again and marched their separate ways.

Sam huffed and wondered what he had done wrong, he'd never been grounded like this before, but then again, it's not like he went out of the house much anyway. At first he considered grabbing one of his school books to keep him entertained till dinner but then he realised being bored was the whole point of being grounded, so he left his school bag alone and just laid on his bed waiting for the time to pass.

Dean was helped into his bed by Mary, she was gentle and sweet with how she held him.

She was so careful in helping him remove his clothes Dean was almost shocked when he saw the look on her face, that said it all for him. There was anger, frustration, but overall, disappointment in her eyes that killed him.

"You need to get some sleep, I'll be back to check on you later," she said in a kindvoicebut refused to meet Dean's eyes.

He considered asking her what he had done to upset her, what he and Sam had done obviously but he didn't have the strength today to do so. As a result he kept it inside and let her tuck him in and let her leave with the same expression painted on her beautiful features.

He sighed pulling a face at how it pulled on his stitches; he just wanted to have the balls to ask people what they were feeling, instead of trying to imagine what Mary thought of him, that always resulted in something negative.

'_She probably can't wait to get rid of you, once the sentiment of trying to help Sam wears off, they'll toss me on the street before I have chance to collect my things.'_

He winced as he turned on his side and tried to make himself comfortable for now. Thankfully the soft conditioned pillow cases were cushioning his painful cheek and he thanked Mary for using the same washing stuff his mom used to. He could almost feel her here with him when he drew in the fresh flowery smell.

'_God look at you, getting all teary eyed over a damn pillow case, you're such a pathetic joke.'_

Dean had enough of the voice and reached for the gun he hid under the mattress, nobody was going to take him and make him feel _THAT_ ashamed again, he would blow his own brains out before he let that happen again.

With how tired he found himself once he was able to relax some, gripping the gun tight, time passed all too quick and he heard John calling his name.

"Dean, come meet us in the kitchen please," John said through the wood once he tapped on the door a few times.

Dean groaned and forcefully pushed himself up, no way 3 and a half hours had passed.

"Sit down please," Mary said to him once he made in to the small table in the kitchen.

He looked at the clock and realised only 10 slow minutes had actually passed. He took a seat as he was told to, and looked at Mary who was sitting down opposite from him and next to John.

"Dean, we've decided to talk to both you boys alone and make you both equally aware how angry we are for what you both have done."

Dean gulped the rising fear and almost swallowed his tongue too as John carried on.

"Now, do you know why you're both grounded?"

Dean shook his head, he was pretty sure if it was something like what his uncle got mad at him for doing, he certainly wouldn't be grounded, he would be bleeding on the floor by now.

"You lied to us Dean, both you and Sam kept secrets from us and that ended in you both almost losing your lives."

Dean nodded, telling them he knew how stupid he had been and tears stung his eyes when he thought of how much danger he'd put Sam in, if he had just kept his mouth shut!

"Dean, if you had just told us from the start you were having trouble with school then we could have dealt with it then."

'_Yeah or if you had kept your trap shut then Sam wouldn't have to lie for you!'_

"So, is there any reason why you kept this from us?"

Dean shook his head, not ready to talk about it.

"Dean, kiddo, we told you that you could talk to us without having to feel ashamed, we don't care about you not going to school son, we really couldn't care less about that, so please just talk to us. You don't have to feel you have to throw a tantrum and run away because you're scared or embarrassed or whatever was going through your head okay?"

Dean nodded, it was a shock to him, but he nodded.

"Is there anything else we should know?" Mary asked as she slowly brought her hand up and squeezed Dean's.

Surprisingly, Dean nodded, there was tons more he had to tell somebody, anybody.

"Can you tell us?" Mary asked carefully.

Dean shook his head and lowered his chin to his chest.

"When you're ready, we'll be here, but in the future, no running away, got that?"

Dean nodded, feeling relieved they weren't making him talk, he might just run away again if they did that.

"Come on, I have something to show you," John said helping Dean up then walking slowly to their garage. "If you need to take your anger out on something and blow off some steam, you punch that," John said pointing to the huge punch bag hanging from the ceiling.

Dean stood there in amazement, now that thing looked like fun.

"So, ruining our kitchen table, running from the house again, topped off with running from the hospital room and pulling your IV out, etcetera, you are grounded in your room for 4 weeks, after that if you're well enough, you can start coming with me to work to earn us the money back that was spent on a new table and a new fruit bowl."

Dean nodded, he could pull his weight, that was easy, doing nothing for 4 weeks, that was hard.

"But between you and me, I always hated that ugly ass bowl."

Dean smirked a little at John's joke and loosened his shoulders, maybe this guy wasn't as bad as he thought.

"Now go get some sleep and we'll see you later."

Dean nodded and hobbled back to him room, much more settled than before, so much so, he managed to close his eyes and drift off into a peaceful sleep.

_**SPN**_

"Sam, sit," John ordered.

"Dad I'm sorry me and Dean-" Sam rushed before he even took to his chair like he was told.

"Ah, we'll be doing the talking young man," John said with a finger in Sam's face making the boy shut up. "Right, we've already talked to Dean, he knows full well why we're mad so I take it I don't need to ask you why you're grounded."

"For running out of the house again...and for running from the hospital room..." Sam mumbled.

"Bingo, so next time Dean runs off, you do not follow without me or your mom understood?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Good."

Sam wasn't sure how this worked, he'd never been in this much trouble before so he put his hand up asking if he could speak, he breathed a sigh of relief when his father nodded, granting him permission.

"Dean was just bored and he said he wouldn't go if I wouldn't, I didn't want to be the one making him stay in that room, he hated it in there. He just wanted to go for a walk and I swear the whole time I made him stay in the wheelchair."

Mary and John looked at each other, hey much did they love their son right now?

"Sammy, baby, we understand okay. We could have let you boys go off if we asked for the doctors permission first. We were terrified when we found those beds empty, but what we're trying to say is, you need to stop doing this okay? You need to stop running before you think, if not for yourself then for us as your parents at least...please baby, we're not doing this to be mean..."

"Yeah...I know, I'm sorry mom, I just wanted to save Dean and...I'm sorry.

"We know you are kid."

"Thanks dad, thanks mom," Sam gave both his parents a hug, received his 4 week notice just like Dean, then took off back to his bedroom not needing to be told twice.

_**SPN**_

"Okay, back in bed the pair of you, an early night will do you good."

Mary ushered them both back to their rooms after they ate. She told them both she was proud, then she kissed them both good night and left them to the darkness.

"No...no...please dnnn' hurt Dee...n-no...NO!" Sam yelled, jumping up in bed. He looked around the shadow filled room and started crying when his dream became less foggy within seconds.

He shot up from his bed and ran downstairs straight for the person he'd just seen ripped to pieces in his nightmare.

"D-Dean?" he asked, shaking the older boy's shoulder, hoping he wasn't dead.

"Wha...Sam?" Dean asked turning on his back to face the quivering boy.

"I-I had a dream...I-I'm sorry," he sobbed.

_**TBC...**_


	16. I’m only human

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**I'm only human **

"No...no...please dnnn' hurt Dee...n-no...NO!" Sam yelled, jumping up in bed. He looked around the shadow filled room and started crying when his dream became less foggy within seconds.

He shot up from his bed and ran downstairs straight for the person he'd just seen being ripped to pieces in his nightmare.

"D-Dean?" he asked, shaking the older boy's shoulder, hoping he wasn't dead.

"Wha...Sam?" Dean asked turning on his back to face the quivering boy.

"I-I had a dream...I-I'm sorry," he sobbed.

Dean had no clue what to do, he'd never comforted someone before, he never felt eligible to offer comfort in situations like this, even in his own imagination when he pictured himself looking after a little brother or sister, it didn't feel right then, so it felt extremely wrong in reality.

But the way Sam was watching him, standing next to his bed crying his eyes out just made his heart ache. This could go two ways, he could stay there, frozen in his place under the covers, watching the little boy until he grew tired and left the room feeling rejected, or he could hug the shivering mess and try to make himself useful for the first time in his miserable pointless life.

"Sam I...I...don't cry...I...please..." '_Yeah that's helping Dean, real smooth!'_

He kicked himself in the head then tried to think back to when his mother used to comfort him after a bad, scary dream. Usually she would pull him to her chest, run her hands through his hair, tuck him under king size covers and sing his favourite song while stroking the tip of his nose till he fell back to sleep.

Knowing that thinking about it any longer would make things worse than they already were in his head, he wrapped his arms round Sam and somehow pulled him on the mattress and tucked him under the covers at the other end of his bed. He didn't even feel the sting of his injuries till he sat still again.

Neither of them said anything when Sam's cries subsided, it was like they were both waiting for the other to speak. They just laid perfectly still at each end of the bed, looking up at the ceiling. Dean sometimes hovered his eyes over to the kid to see if the tears had dried up and it was a long while before either of them relaxed enough to be comfortable.

"Night Sammy," Dean whispered out of the blue at around half 2, almost an hour and half after Sam had come in.

"Night Dean," Sam replied, thus ending their conversation for the night.

Sam was asleep first, Dean was pretending for the kid's sake but when he felt the boy's whole body sink into the mattress he opened his eyes and let out a few tears of his own.

'_That had to be the worst attempt at being a big brother ever. I didn't even ask him if he was okay, what his dream was about, if he wanted to talk about it and how I could help...man that was so bad!' _

He closed his eyes hoping for two things, one: Sam would never have another nightmare, ever again, just so he didn't have to be in that position again with somebody relying on him in a whole other way he wasn't used to. And two: that it would happen again, that Sam would come to his room scared, needing to be settled, choosing him to be the one to stop the tears, just so he could make up for what a suck ass attempt his first one tonight was.

_**SPN**_

"Boys! Breakfast!"

Dean, having been awake for the last 2 hours was the first one to sit up, he didn't have the heart to wake up Sam to he figured he could go to the kitchen and tell John and Mary...somehow, not to disturb the sleeping kid.

"Morning Dean, pancakes?" Mary asked smiling at the boy shuffling into her kitchen.

He nodded a quick yes thankyou and for the first time ever, Mary saw something different in his eyes, it was almost like he was smiling with them.

She smiled back then flipped the sizzling pancake then wondered where Sam was, he was always the first to come down when he smelt pancakes.

"Ssss-" her call for her youngest was cut off when Dean wrapped his cold clammy hand over her mouth.

Dean instantly regretted it when another set of feet entered the room.

'_Maybe this is the wrong way to tell someone to shush.'_

"Dean...what are you doing? Let. Her. Go," John warned when he saw.

Dean gulped and staggered back off her and into the back wall which send shooting pains from his tender ribs through his body.

"Dean, what are you doing? I thought we talked about this! I get your life was hard and you're trying to deal with a lot right now but that is no excuse for attacking my wife!"

Dean shook his head frantically, his eyes wide and terrified as he tried to tell them he wasn't attacking her.

John sighed long and hard then looked back at Dean who was sweating profusely. "That's it, I'm sorry but you're going have to go into a foster home, I thought this could work and I thought we could help you but this is just unacceptable, I said to myself that you had one more chance but now...I'm sorry Dean, but this is just the last straw."

"N...I...it...I didn't..." Dean forced, trying to hold back the tears.

"Well then show me what on earth you were doing," John growled under his breath, he remembered promising Sam never to yell at Dean again.

Dean pulled himself together, for the most part, stood up from the wall he was slumped against then carefully took Mary's hand and pulled her with him, she of course followed with the strangest questions running through her mind.

Dean avoided the eyes on him, let go of Mary's hand and carried on walking, hoping she would get the picture and still follow. By now he could tell John was following him too and he hoped the man was going to accept his reasoning for what he just did.

They reached his bedroom and Dean slowly pushed the door open revealing a sleeping little boy on his bed.

He turned back to them, still studying the floor. He flinched at first when he heard a strange hiccup sound, but frowned and unintentionally looked up when he realised it was quiet chuckling he could hear. Both Mary and John's faces were in awe as they realised what was going on. They walked back to the kitchen after John closed Dean's bedroom door.

"Dean, you couldn't just tell us you wanted to leave Sam asleep?" Mary asked, a beautiful warm smile on her lips.

Dean shrugged with embarrassment, why couldn't he just tell them?

"It's okay sweetie, just next time make the shush sound if you don't feel like talking."

"Sounds like a plan to me, man you can launch on someone faster than lightening kid but you can't part your lips to speak one little word," John chuckled, missing the hurt look on Dean's face. "Alright let's eat breakfast, Sammy will just have to eat leftovers from the floor."

Dean's heart skipped a beat, and not in a good way, his fists tightened at the words that John just spoke. His uncle was a cruel man but at least he had never made him eat from the floor. What the hell was this dick playing at?!

"Like there'll be any leftovers with you at the table, John Winchester the human garbage can," Mary laughed serving out the food equally and setting down every type of syrup, jelly, jams, and chocolate they had.

It was only when Dean looked at the couple that he realised John was making a joke, and it hurt for him to think he had spent so long being miserable, he had forgotten how to differentiate between a spiteful punishment and an obvious joke.

"Dean, something wrong sweetie? Did I not make them the way you like?" Mary asked when he spaced out.

He shook his head when he came round and started to cut up his food, slowly, and very uninterested in eating.

"Dean? Are you okay?" Mary asked, careful with her tone, she hoped it sounded as gentle as she meant it to.

Dean started to nod...then shook his head, he wasn't okay, he wasn't even anywhere near the vicinity of okay, he was in fact...the total opposite of okay.

"Well, whenever you're ready to talk about it tiger, we'll be here okay?"

Dean nodded a thank you then felt guilty for being rude. He looked up to say thank you for real then he noticed the quiet mumblings John and Mary were exchanging. _'Too late to be polite now...' _

_**SPN**_

"I don't call this grounding," Mary teased when she saw her husband and foster son watching the game on the TV, both of them on opposite sides of the couch but both watching intently.

"Dean was tired and Sammy's still in his bed, I figured it was best to have him lay on the couch. And I wanted to watch the game..." John defended in a high innocent voice as he winked at Dean.

"Dean isn't laying down," Mary said smiling sarcastically at them both with her hands on her hips.

"He must not be tired anymore," John smirked.

"Uh, you boys..." Mary she said whacking John's legs off the coffee table so she could dust there.

"Dean, you wanna turn it over?"

Dean shook his head then looked back at the screen, he'd never really watched football before but it wasn't half bad.

"Morning," a sleepy voice said coming in the room, taking a seat between his dad and Dean.

"Afternoon Sammy," Mary corrected, running a hand through her son's hair before she left the room.

"Hey kiddo, sleep good?" John asked turning down the TV so he could chat with his youngest for a little bit.

"Yeah, after..."

"After what?"

"Nothing...s'nothing," Sam insisted then tried to look extremely interested in the game.

"Sammy, come on talk to me buddy, why did you end up in Dean's bed?"

'_Uh oh...busted!'_

"I had a nightmare, but I'm good now, I was stupid," Sam shrugged.

"If it's putting that look on your face then I don't think its nothing and I certainly don't think you're stupid."

"Dad please I just wanna forget about it, can we watch the game?" Sam asked, looking at Dean, hoping he would stick up for him and thankfully the older kid grabbed the remote and turned the volume up.

John sighed at them then sat back against the sofa, he really hated being in the dark so much when it came to the people in his family.

Just when he thought about shutting off the TV and having a real sit down man to man...to man talk with the both of them, Dean stood and quietly left for his bedroom.

"Sammy?" John asked, pressing mute when he heard Dean's door close.

"Yeah?" Sam asked like he didn't know what his dad was asking.

"You okay son?"

"I'm fine...was just a bad dream, wasn't real. Besides, Dean was...he helped me."

"You sure you're okay kiddo?"

"Yeah, I'm sure dad, thanks, um...I'm going to see what Dean's doing, I'm not breaking any grounding rules, am I?" he asked turning back to his father when he stood from the couch.

"I suppose I can let you off this time," John smirked watching his son go to Dean's room.

_**SPN**_

"Dean? Knock knock..." Sam announced.

"Yeah?" the older one asked, his back to the door and the young kid entering his room.

"How come you aren't coming to watch the game?"

"Just...seemed like a family thing, thought it would be better if I stayed out of the way, besides I'm the one who got you in trouble...three times...and I'm the reason you had that nightmare last night so..."

"No you're not...I dreamed you got hurt...and I got really scared I guess, I thought maybe it was real."

"Yeah well...surprise," Dean joked, smirking as he held up his casted hand, but his voice held no humour whatsoever.

"Not like that...worse..." Sam hung his head to his chest and tried to block it out again, but it just wasn't going away.

"Oh...sorry."

"Yeah me too...can we go watch the game now?" Sam asked smiling and trying to lighten the mood.

"No thanks, I think I'm just gonna sleep for a while...not feeling so great," Dean said smiling the best he could, but he was sure it came off more as a grimace.

"Okay, night Dean...I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

"I dunno, I'm just sorry," and with that, Sam left.

_**SPN**_

"Dean okay?" John asked as his son sat down next to him.

"No...he's not talking to me."

"What do you mean?"

"He was talking to me the other day, in the hospital, he told me a lot about himself and his parents but now he won't even look at me...what did I do?" Sam asked as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Sammy, hey, hey, I'm sure he doesn't mean it like that, he just had a little blip this morning that's all, and he'll be tired and miserable, things like this take time, he'll have lots of ups and downs but I'm sure he won't shut you out all the time."

"You think so?"

"I know so, he'll talk to you again, I'm sure, tomorrow he'll feel better, you boys can talk then."

"Okay," Sam sniffled, he wiped under his nose and laid back against his father.

"We'll all be okay Sammy, this is just gonna take us all some time."

Sam nodded against his father's chest and hoped he was right.

Sticking her head through the door, Mary listened to her baby cry and sighed, she knew John had it covered so she dropped the washing and went to the other boy in her care.

"Dean? Dean you okay in here honey?" Mary asked when she heard quiet sniffles inside the room.

She opened the door and almost cried herself at the sight, Dean looked incredibly frustrated, and very upset from his place on the bed.

She walked to the bed and perched herself on the empty edge, careful not to make him jump, she had noticed the boy had a tendency to flinch when he was taken off guard by comfort.

"You held out for a long time sweetie," she said sympathetically, he looked like he wanted to have a release all morning, finally when he found some time alone, he had chosen the time to break obviously.

He tried to hide the tears by wiping a quick hand down his face then he looked down at his knees that were drawn to his chest and refused to make eye contact with Mary.

"Dean?" she asked placing a comforting hand on his knee. "Dean, look at me," she said firm but kind and eventually after a few more sniffles, he did, "it's okay to let this out, you're in pain, scared, confused and you're probably really angry at the whole world right now, but you need to let this out, if you need to cry, just cry okay? If you want to throw things, just throw them okay? We'll figure the mess out later, it doesn't matter okay? We won't judge you, you need to get it through that thick skull of yours, we care about you Dean. But please, for me, don't keep bottling this up, it's going to kill you. You're only human Dean."

He nodded, bit his lip tight and still tried to hold the tears in as they crept over the surface.

"Dean, let go honey, just let it go...it's okay," she promised inching closer and eventually found herself laying on the bed with Dean sobbing in her arms, her shirt was growing wet where his face was buried but she didn't care. She held him tight and stroked his hair, soothing the pain away from him as best she could.

She rocked him side to side, stroked his hair, held his hand and cried with him through the worst of the screams.

He hated that he wasn't going numb, usually in cases like this, like the time John held him, he went numb after half an hour, but this time he just wasn't, the second he thought he had cried out all the misery, more came and filled him up, flowing over his eye lids, spilling from his body.

But the thing he was grateful for, almost happy about, was the feeling of Mary's soft arms around him, he felt safe there, he felt wanted, and as stupid as it sounded, he felt loved.

Instead of yelling at her like he did John, he chose to just cry, he didn't even have the energy anymore to do anything else but cry. He wanted to stop but he couldn't, he just didn't have anything else left in him to draw the emotions back in and lock them up tight like he was used to, his box was just too full.

"Sshh, it's okay baby, it's okay, you don't have to feel ashamed, just let it go..."

'_Thank you thank you thank you!_' his mind screamed, he felt like this woman, who he knew very little about to be honest, was his saviour, he had wanted...no scratch that, _NEEDED_ to do this for so many years, and finally she was telling him he could.

He had cried so much by this point, his nose had started bleeding, the pressure of his cries bursting his blood vessels. But Mary just gently pulled out a tissue from the box at the side of the bed and held it up to his nose, not saying a word as she held the tissue with one hand and stroked his hair with her other.

About half an hour and several tissues later, Dean was reduced to sniffles and hiccups, he pulled away from Mary and his eyes were apologetic at the huge wet blood and tear patches on her shoulder.

"You feel better sweetie?"she asked, smoothing his cropped hair down and wiping the dried up blood still under his nose.

After a few moments as she tended to cleaning him up some, surprisingly he nodded. He did feel better after that, he felt tons better, sure he knew life still sucked but not as bad as he thought it did this morning. His head hurt like hell, his ribs were tender from laying in the weird position, the gauze patch on his cheek was hanging off as the tape had gotten soggy from the tears and the cut underneath was stinging from the salty eye water, his nose was stuffed and sore too, but somehow, inside his chest...where his heart was, he felt better, like some of the weight had gone.

"Told you, mothers know best," she smiled.

"T-th...th..."

She dabbed the still drizzling blood under his nose, waiting, and letting him take his time, trying to show she wasn't going to gawk at him while she waited for him to speak.

"T-thank you..."

"You're welcome honey."

He kind of looked like 'what do I do now?' and he actually looked like he was asking her.

"You young man, are going to climb those stairs and get a bath..."

"But-"

"No showers, I said bath, I want you clean and smelling sweet. Can you make it up the steps on your own?"

He nodded hoping he was right.

She smiled, shaking her head at his stubbornness then went round his bed, collected some clean sweats and a t-shirt from his wardrobe and some underwear she purchased the other week for him after seeing his old ones then ushered the boy towards the living room then round to the stairs.

"Take one at a time and stop if you need to," she coached carrying his things.

Eventually, they caught up with the landing at the top and Dean had a quick peek at Sam's room.

"I'm so gonna kick your ass! Ah SNAP!" he heard Sam yell making him chuckle a little.

"So much for no games..." Mary whispered to Dean who was still listening in who was winning.

"I said no video games! Cards is classed as educational!" John yelled, knowing they were out there.

"If that's what you kids are calling it these days!" Mary yelled back then followed Dean to the bathroom. "Can you take it from here?" she asked after turning the taps on, the cold was a little faulty sometimes and she didn't want Dean turning it on and it flooding the bath with freezing cold water.

"Yeah...thanks," he whispered taking his clean things and putting them on the closed washing basket.

"Don't overdo it, there's soap, shampoo and wash clothes for you in there, don't worry if you get blood on them, call me or John if you need help or you start having another nose bleed."

"Yes ma'am," he nodded.

"Mary," she corrected with a smile as she helped him put a plastic bag over his cast. "That should hold, be careful okay?" she more asked than told.

He nodded and waited as Mary did a quick check for towels, when she saw 2 fresh ones already hung on the rack she smiled and left.

"Don't lock the door!" she warned knowing what boys could be like sometimes.

She waited for an answer, hoping Dean would whisper another yes ma'am or something but when nothing came she went back downstairs, leaving her husband and youngest to their card game.

"I need to change my shirt," she whispered to herself, it was a new one and one of her favourites now covered in snot and blood, but as long as her family was on the mend, all of them, including the newest member, she really couldn't give a rat's ass about her stained clothing. "I can get a new shirt, a new family, not so much."

_**TBC...**_

**Please Read...***HELP!!! *** **

**Is there anything you guys would like to see in this story? **

**I.E. Sam, Dean, John going to a football game? **(Not my suggestion! This is just a very hypothetical example!!)

**Some event or thing you would like to see!!! I'm open to anything!!! Nothing huge, just little ideas and a little help!!!**

**I'm not running out of ideas on the plot but I am on what to do over the next few chapters, so if you have any ideas, I'm all ears...Hey! That rhymes!! :D**

**Thank you so much guys! Love you! x o x o **


	17. The cleanest I've been

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

_**Previously...**_

"You young man, are going to climb those stairs and get a bath..."

"But-"

"No showers, I said bath, I want you clean and smelling sweet."

**The cleanest I've been**

_**Now...**_

Dean peeled off his clothes, it was a little difficult and he secretly wished he had asked Mary to help him get his top off because it hurt like a bitch when he pulled on his ribs, then he remembered how much he had been a girl today, that was enough for a lifetime so no help would be needed, he could suffer and struggle alone.

Eventually, after a few tugs and grunts, he got his arms out of the sleeves and eased the shirt over his head. Next to go were his bottoms, unlike the plain black t-shirt, the sweats were his own, ones handed down from his uncle, and he was sure by the state of them, Mary was going to trash them and not bother with the washing, he was sort of grateful for that too.

'_Maybe after I'm clean and smell human again, I'll go trash the other junk he 'gave me'...hah, gave me, right, that sound like he was generous...sorry, generosity and Uncle Ron just don't belong in the same sentence, try 'asshole' or 'cheap skate' or even 'asshole cheap skate monster son of a bitch!'...yeah, that's more like it.'_

He decided to leave those thoughts for another day and just get a bath as instructed, he had had enough of thinking about him for one day, he wanted to think about something else, but no matter what he tried as he lowered himself in the warm water, all that spun round his head was Uncle Ron, or things linked to him, like what he was going to do about the hunt, when would his ribs and hands heal? Would he ever be able to have this normal happy apple pie life? Would he one day wake up and not feel guilty about the whole world and what he had done?

"Oh for god's sake Dean, pull yourself together," he hissed to himself as a few tears dropped. Wasn't he all cried out by now? He should be dehydrated surely after that weepy afternoon he just had!

He did his best to be tough as he got washed, but as he lathered the shampoo with one hand around his almost shaven head he couldn't help but cry again, he hated this hair! God he hated having nothing on his head! It was all his uncles doing!

"_You see this?! This is me and your daddy in the army! And do we have stupid girl hair like you, boy?!"_

_He looked at the grinning pair on the photo shoved in his face and looked wide eyed at the shaven heads._

"_N-no sir."_

"_Soldiers are clean and well cut! You understand boy?!"_

"_Y-yes sir."_

"_Sit down, we're sorting this dump brush of yours out once and for all."_

_He was __roughly__ pushed on the chair and cried as he felt the razor buzzing his locks off, why was his uncle doing this to him? Was it because his mom always liked his blonde curls and he wanted to torture Dean? Or was it really because he needed to be a soldier now? _

_He yelped when the vibrating clippers burned his head in the dead centre of his skull. It hurt so bad and it was only getting worse as his uncle pressed on harder with the razor._

"_STOP CRYING BOY! OR I'LL BUZZ YOUR FUCKIN' BALLS OFF!!"_

Ever since that day he learned to clip his own hair off, he used his uncle's razor in secret sure, but he wasn't going through that pain again. He made sure he had cropped hair every day, and as a man would shave his beard, he shaved his head almost every day, until he got to the Winchesters that was. Now his hair seemed long somehow, when in actual fact when he thought of Sam, or even John for that matter, his hair really _was_ short.

'_Maybe they'll let me keep my hair...'_

It was stupid how upset he was getting over hair, but somehow it felt like such a big deal. Now that he was away from his uncle he dared to think Ron had cut his hair that night because he did actually like the pleasure of torturing a 7 year old broken boy. He knew his sister liked Dean's hair, so he wanted to make a point by getting rid of something Dean didn't deserve, his mother's love for something so simple.

As he sat back in the water and washed away the bubbles on his head he saw the few band aids that used to be on his fingers floating to the top of the water near the taps. Only then did he realise how much his fingers stung. The gauze that was on his face had sunk to the bottom of the tub near his feet and he lifted a hand to the uncovered area, it felt weird, the thick knotted skin was smoother and the new cut was stitched professionally, it was strange how bizarre neat stitches were to him. The tight bandages round his middle and his back that made it hard to breathe were slack and his whole middle was aching like hell, he felt like a house fell on him, then a car ran him over, then finally the driver beat him with a bat for good measure.

He clonked his head back on the tub in frustration, he didn't know what was up now, but he was just really angry, he didn't think he was, he just thought he was scared and confused, but Mary was right, he was damn angry at the whole world right now. He wasn't sure why, he was sure he deserved all he got over the years, so why was he angry now?

His head was starting to ache from all the thinking so he pushed the whirlwind of questions to the back of his mind, _'just for now...just for today, that wouldn't be too bad would it?' _

_**SPN**_

"Dean? Dean you've been in there for over an hour kid, you okay?" John asked after tapping on the bathroom door.

When he got no answer he started to worry so he pushed the door open and took a quick peek inside.

"Dean?" he asked, speaking softly when he saw the boy's eyes were closed.

"Is he okay dad?" Sam asked out in the hall.

"He's fine son, just tired I guess, he'll be out in a minute, just stay out there in case I need ya bud."

John moved towards the tub and knew it would be freezing by now, Dean had goose bumps on his goose bumps. His bruised body was shivering hard he had to force himself to ignore all the painful colors and scars covering the boy's body, he looked so broken laying there uncovered and completely exposed.

"Dean, wake up son, come on, Dean?" he coached shaking the boy's shoulder.

When Dean didn't move an inch he sighed, the boy had worn himself out to a point of no return.

John hooked an arm under Dean's back and knees then lifted him out of the freezing water. Somehow he managed to prop Dean on the floor up against the tub while he got 2 towels from the rack, he also thanked the lord they bought a radiator rack not long ago.

He dried the boy's cropped hair careful when he heard a few grunts, then wrapped the other warm towel round his body. He was careful of the sores Dean still had as he dried the still passed out boy and carefully pulled on his underwear, long sleeved t-shirt and sweats hoping they would warm Dean up. He thought back to how many times he had dressed Sam over the years and how much he missed his little boy being so little, he has almost reached the age where he didn't need help getting dried and what not, his son was surely going to get to the point where he would be embarrassed to be seen in all his glory around his own father.

Knowing how he was at Dean's age, he was just so glad the kid wasn't waking up as he was dressed, Dean would throw a hissy fit for sure.

"Alright champ, let's get you in bed."

He lifted Dean back up and walked past a concerned Sam straight for the first bedroom Dean had occupied when he arrived at their home just last month. Thankfully Mary was the type of woman to have every bed in the house made up so he nodded for Sam to pull back the covers and then he laid the exhausted boy down on the bed.

"Can you grab me the first aid box kiddo?" he asked Sam.

"Okay," Sam nodded sprinting off for it downstairs.

"Sam, you okay sweetie?" Mary asked when she saw her baby running for the top cupboard.

"Yeah, dad just wanted the first aid kit for Dean."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he just fell asleep in the bath I think."

"And are you okay?" she asked cupping her son's cheek before he could run off.

"Yeah, I'm good mom, promise."

She nodded then put the things she had in her hands down to go follow Sam upstairs.

"It's okay mom, dad and I got it."

She smiled proud then let her youngest go back up.

"Tell your dad dinner will be a little later, for Dean okay?" she asked, hoping Sam would approve.

"Thanks mom," he gave his mom a quick kiss on the cheek then ran back to Dean's second bedroom. He was slightly disappointed when he saw Dean was still asleep but he handed the first aid box to his dad and pretended he was fine.

"Thanks Sammy, you wanna get me a few band aids out?"

Sam pulled some out, the right shape and size for the use they were going to serve and handed them all to his dad one at a time without the tabs on so John could easily wrap them round Dean's nail-less fingers.

John also pulled off the plastic bag round Dean's other hand and nodded a well done to Dean for keeping the cast dry.

Just then Dean let out a long groan and turned his head towards John which he was silently happy about. The kid looked like he was getting comfortable around him finally, sure he was practically asleep but it still counted.

"Sshh Dean, just relax tiger."

"It's okay Dean, just don't run off okay?" Sam piped up when he saw the older kid was coming round a little, he didn't want Dean to jump up scared and take off like he did sometimes.

"I don't think he's going anywhere Sammy," John said smiling sympathetically at his youngest.

'_That's what you think...'_ Sam scoffed to himself then went back to digging through the red box looking for things he thought his dad would need.

Being extremely careful John pulled Dean up and rested the groggy boy up against him, Sam handed him a long bandage roll knowing what he was doing and watched close as John wrapped Dean's back and ribs tight.

John then laid the boy back down, grabbed a gauze pad, cut it in half making it thinner length ways then taped it over the cut on Dean's cheek.

"I'll be right back boys, Sammy try to keep him awake okay?"

Sam nodded then moved in closer to Dean's line of vision.

"Hey Dean, tomorrow...can we like...talk, cos I kinda miss you...as lame as that sounds, it's kinda boring round here now without you to talk to."

Dean mumbled something Sam didn't quite catch then his semi good hand moved across on the mattress and found itself sitting under Sam's. The youngest boy squeezed the cold hand tight and willed some of his hope into the broken mess in front of him.

"It's gonna be okay Dean, I'm gonna make sure of it. And you're not allowed to take off without my say so okay?"

"Alright kids, I got some tasty water and crushed pills," John said coming in the room with a cup of cloudy water, oblivious to the half conversation that just went on between the boys.

Sam patted Dean's hand once more then moved out the way so his dad could tend to Dean.

"Okay champ, I need you to swallow this for me."

John pulled Dean up a little and slowly tipped the water down his throat, Dean coughed and gagged strangely at first but when his brain registered the liquid as water he began to swallow and soon the boy was topped up with water and pain pills.

"Alright, let's give him some space Sammy," he said to his youngest when Dean was tucked in and back in dream land. He draped a comforting arm over Sam's shoulders and led the boy back to his room. "Snap or black jack?" he asked sitting back down on the bottom end of the bed as Sam sat at the top.

"Any," Sam shrugged, he really didn't care about cards anymore.

"He's just tired Sam, he's been through a lot."

"I know, I just want him to get better."

"Me too kiddo, me too."

_**SPN**_

"What the hell am I doing here?" Dean asked himself when he looked round and realised he was in the upstairs spare room.

He lifted his hand and saw fresh band aids on his fingers, then he felt the fresh dry bandages and padding on his whole body.

He faintly remembered being in the bath and washing his hair, he remembered John standing over him at some point and Sam leaning over John's shoulder, but everything else was fuzzy.

He carefully eased himself out of bed and walked out to the hall, he heard Sam in his bedroom so he pushed the kid's door open and took a peek in.

"Dean!" Sam grinned. "You're awake!" he announced jumping from his bed.

"Yeah, looks like...time is it?" he asked taking a seat on the end of Sam's bed.

"About 11."

"At night?" Dean asked wide eyed looking for a clock.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep..."

"Have you even tried?"

"Um...no, not really," Sam admitted.

"You should sleep," Dean told him with a stern look on his face.

"I don't want to, I'm...I'm scared," he whispered, looking down at his lap.

"Yeah...me too kid."

"Really?"

"Really."

"So...are you staying up here tonight?" Sam asked in a pleading tone.

"Yeah, if you want, but man I'm starving," Dean rubbed his hollow growling stomach.

"You wanna go get something? We waited with dinner but...mom said you probably weren't going to wake up till morning so...we ate...I'm sorry, I'm...I wanted them to wait but..."

"Hey, it's okay, I don't mind, I'm sorry you waited for me. I was just...I was a mess today, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, can we go for food now?"

"Your parents down stairs?"

"No, they went to bed a bit ago, they usually read books or talk and stuff till 12 though."

"Lovely," Dean mocked, knowing what they actually did _do_, he thought maybe he shouldn't tell Sam his parents didn't read books at night before bed.

"Food?" Sam asked thankfully not understanding the previous joke.

"Yeah, lead the way kid."

"Don't call me kid," Sam moaned walking down the stairs in front of Dean.

"Fine, you prefer OAP?"

"No...kid makes me sound like I'm..."

"A kid?" Dean asked before he let out a long snort as they entered the kitchen.

"Shut up!" Sam whined, then realised just that second when he heard himself speak, when Dean laughed harder, why Dean insisted on calling him 'kid'.

"Okay _Sam_, what you got to eat?"

"Um...that I can make? Um...toast, cereals, and pop tarts."

"Huh...how about all three?"

"Okay," Sam smiled getting bread, every cereal they had and all 4 flavours of the pop tarts in their cupboards.

Dean moved forward and went to help, he was starving and getting hungrier by the second so he took 2 sliced of bread and put them in the toaster, put 3 kinds of random cereal and milk in the same bowl and placed 2 brown cinnamon pop tarts in the microwave for 30 seconds.

When he looked up he saw Sam standing there, watching him with a strange look on his face.

"Sorry, I'm being rude huh?" Dean winced when he realised he was oblivious to what Sam wanted to eat.

"No, it's all good."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Ah...chocolate cake, just don't tell my mom I'm eating it for my supper."

"You got it. Hey there's a huge sandwich in here," Dean announced.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot, my mom made it for you if you woke up."

"Well, no point letting it go to waste," Dean smirked, taking out the plate from the fridge.

"You're gonna eat toast, pop tarts, cereal and that?" Sam asked wide eyed, how big was Dean's stomach.

"I'm hungry," Dean shrugged taking a huge bite of the sandwich, he really hoped he wasn't being rude, Sam seemed okay with him eating all this, in actual fact he kinda looked like he found it funny but what about Mary and John in the morning?

"My folks won't mind they'll be happy you're...happier," Sam said hoping they were the right words.

"Yeah...about that, you know...thanks for everything Sam."

"Welcome, thanks back."

Dean nodded and smiled at the kid trying his best not to turn beat red, he didn't really know how to take complements and thank you's.

Sam cleared his throat and the awkwardness in the room settled. Dean took his pop tarts out of the microwave then set down his food to get Sam some cake from the fridge.

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?" he asked with a full mouth.

"What happened today?"

_**SPN**_

"My folks won't mind they'll be happy you're...happier," Sam said hoping they were the right words.

"Yeah...about that, you know...thanks for everything Sam."

"Welcome, thanks back."

As she listened in Mary smiled at her boys.

"Hey Dean?"

She heard Dean say 'yeah' then beamed with pride at the next question.

"What happened today?"

"I just..._let go_..."

Her eyes filled with happy tears, she knew Dean really was _finally_ starting to let go.

"Is that good?"

"Uh...I'm thinking..."

Mary crossed her fingers and mouthed a prayer.

"I'm thinking yeah..."

"Me too."

She felt her face splitting as her grin grew out of control and her tears spilled out. She went back up the steps leaving the boys alone.

"Mary? Hey baby what's wrong? The boys..."

"They're fine...perfect even...you know what John Winchester...I am so sure everything's going to be okay."

_**TBC... **_


	18. Broken Bridges

**Hey guys!!!**

**Changed my name!!! Used to be FLD!!! But I got bored!!! **

**Still me though!!!**

**FLD!!!!!! :D 'Lost in a Forest' sounds cool and eerie to me! It's from my fav Cure song! :D Hope you like it guys!!! **

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Broken Bridges **

"Dean? Dean sweetie, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh...yeah," he said confused, he hoped she wasn't going to get him to cry again, he hadn't recovered from yesterday's weep fest yet.

"I thought this might come in handy for you," she handed him a black bound book and he frowned.

"Um...Sam gave me some writing paper for that school stuff, I..."

"That's not for school honey, I found it the other day when I was having a clear out and I thought you might like to write in it."

"Wha...?" he asked trying his best to speak the way he meant it and not in a rude way.

"It sounds like a girl thing and I know you boys don't really like the whole dear diary nonsense but I thought until you feel more comfortable talking to us, maybe it's a good idea if you start writing some stuff down, you don't have to, I'm not forcing you but, it might be a way for you to get some of this stuff out. And no one would ever read it unless you want us too, so...could you just give it a go, for me?" she smiled.

"Um...o-okay, thanks..."

"You're welcome honey, so, are you feeling okay today?"

"Y-yeah thanks."

"How about your ribs? They feel any better today?"

"Um...yeah, I guess." _'Okay...this is awkward...'_

"Is that a no?" she asked laughing at him a little, _'at least he tried.'_

"Um...I don't know...sorry, I'm not used to..."

"People asking how you are?" she finished for him, "it's okay, just be yourself Dean, I meant what I said, we care about you, and we want to see you get better, so keep doing just that and we'll be happy," he nodded as she patted his thigh. "Dinner in 15 okay?"

"Okay, thanks."

"Speaking of, is there any preference in food you have?"

He looked at his feet for a few seconds then looked up at her and shrugged.

"Next time we go to the grocery store, write out a list if you want, and we'll try to get everything."

"Um, it's okay, you have...great food here, I'm good."

"Okay, but if you think of something just holler."

He nodded and when she saw him reach for the book she decided to smile and leave, short conversations at a time would be okay for now.

Dean opened the first page and hummed when he saw the paper even had lines, _'that should make it easier to write straight, god knows my sentences start off at the top of the page then end up at the bottom by the 6__th__ of 7__th__ word.'_

He bit his lip thinking for a few seconds then leaned over and put the book in the top bedside draw.

He got bored quickly, tapping his foot as the book seemed to call out his name irritably. He growled then took the book back out as well as a pen, turned to the first page again and dotted around on the top of the page with his ink for a good few minutes as he thought about what he was going to write.

'_Well, I'm not sure how a girl does this, introducing themselves to a book but I guess my name is a good start...'_

"**So my name's Dean."**

'_Now what? Oh...well I'm thinking but I should be writing, so I take it I'm supposed to write all this stuff I'm thinking right now...so I should be writing that I'm thinking about writing and thinking...I get it now! Man this making me dizzy already!'_

"**So, this is kinda weird...but, Im 14 yeers old and I gess you cud say sins I was 7, I prity much have been a loner on this planet. Id like to say Im doing this just to humour Mary (she is kinda my foster mother) but that would be a ly, and contrery to poppular beleef, dispite the fact that ive done it a lot over the last 7 or 8 yeers and no matter how good I am at it I dont like lyin...in fact I hate it. Im not shure wot els to say rite now, Im suposed to be riting my feelins down I think, but I dont know what Im ment to be riting. Pluss if any1 ever red this I think I would kill them, then miself, so the less I say on the subject of my miserable embarasing life, the better for everyone, so for now Im choosing not to rite anythin, for the time beeing at leest." **

"Dean! My mom said dinner's ready!" he heard Sam call so he shook his head, laughing at the 'my mom said' then closed his book, pushed it back in his draw under all the nick back things in there then went downstairs, happy he could finally move without someone stabbing him with a white poker anymore.

"Hey kids," John greeted only just coming through the door covered head to toe in grease.

"Hey dad," Sam waved, walking from the couch to the kitchen.

Dean waved ever so slightly then dropped his eyes to the floor, he was still a little awkward at even saying hello.

"John, get a shower before you come anywhere near this food, I don't want you poisoning these boys with car oil."

"Yes dear," John said patting both boys on the shoulder once then running upstairs as ordered.

"Dig in kids," Mary said as she finally took her seat, it felt nice to say 'kids' plural.

_**SPN**_

"**So, 4****th**** day of me riting this stuff, today is prety slow, the sympathy is weering off I think, so right now me and Sam are stuck in our own rooms at opisit sides of the house, grounded, bored and with nothin to doo. I say the sympathy is weering off becos Mary and John ar no longer trying to cheer us both up and letting us wach TV or play cards and so on. Im not bothered about being bored miself, hell beein bored is a dreem compared to what I would be doin this time of day usualy. But Im wurid about Sam, hes qiet now, hes alone and I cant even hear him shufling round his room trying to find sumthin to do. Now I think about it, or rather rite about it, its really weeerd for Sam not to be doing anithing."**

He put his book away then walked out of his door towards Sam's. He knocked on it lightly and pushed it open when he didn't hear anything.

He poked his head round the door then asked, "Sam? You okay in here?" he asked, feeling rather proud of himself for speaking so normal.

Sam nodded but didn't look up, he kept his eyes firmly on the pillow in his lap.

"Hey? What's up?" he asked, very concerned now, this must be the least the kid has ever talked since he knew him.

"Nothing, just thinking about stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Dunno, just things, sorry."

"Why?"

"Not sure..."

"You're not like...sick or anything are you?" Dean asked when he noticed the kid was looking a little pale.

"No, I'm fine Dean."

Dean sighed, he sucked at this brother stuff, if Sam didn't want to talk he couldn't force him to right?

'_Oh screw that!'_

"Come on, I'm not leaving till you give me an actual reason for having that slapped ass look on your face," Dean said sitting down on the kid's desk chair, making himself comfortable and showing he wasn't leaving.

"Just had another nightmare the other day, and I don't really wanna go to sleep tonight."

"Did you go to sleep last night?"

"Not really...I figured it was okay cos I don't have to go back to school for another week. But now I'm really tired and I just wanna sleep...but I don't...if you get me."

"Been there, got the t-shirt, I know what it feels like to be so tired you can't sleep. But I've learned from experience, the long and painful way...you have to go to sleep, trust me kid."

"How did you go to sleep when you couldn't?"

"Um...I can't...sorry I just can't talk about it right now, I don't want to, I'm sorry," Dean stood with his eyes to the floor, sorry he ever attempted this.

"Dean, please tell me? I'm scared and I'm tired and I just wanna sleep," Sam sobbed, pressing his face against the pillow on his lap.

"Hey, hey please Sam don't cry anymore, please...come on man don't do that to me...Sammy," Dean begged, breaking with the exhausted kid too.

"M'sorry, m'just tired and I can't stop thinking."

Dean sighed, he couldn't just leave the kid like this, he needed help. He sat down on the bed and hesitantly put his hand on the kid's shoulder, checking if it was okay till Sam nodded it was.

"Okay...well...first thing I do, I count sheep, or usually cos there's no sheep around, I count the smudge marks on the motel ceilings, if that doesn't work...I listen to some music, it helps block out the thoughts really well, and eventually I find myself waking up with The Beatles playing...it was my mom's favourite band so..." Dean shrugged, hoping it wasn't too soppy, it was the truth though...okay fine, half truth, he didn't have any way of listening to music, no CD's, tapes, actual playing equipment, nothing, so he usually just sung them in his head till he dropped off.

"My mom likes them too. I have a walkman...will that work?"

"Yeah, perfect...,I'm bored, you wanna listen to something?"

"Uh...um..." Sam looked down at his lap, his face shining a bright shade of embarrassed red.

"Maybe you can ask your parents to get you some Beatles stuff...they seem like they'd get things for you...I'm sure they would if you asked them at dinner."

"Yeah....you want me to ask if they'll get you anything?"

"No, I'm good thanks."

"Really? I mean I could-"

"No, it's fine, I don't need your parent wasting money on me, I'm cool."

Sam nodded, getting the picture, he sighed and knew this was going to be a long afternoon.

_**SPN**_

The next day both boys went downstairs and sat watching the TV, neither Mary or John said anything about the grounding rules being broken, not even a little joke, they just smiled at both of them and sat down where there were spaces.

John asked Sam for the remote and Dean passed it along being the one that had it.

John switched it to the news ignoring Sam's scoff when the cartoon went off.

"_Ronald Stines was shot dead just weeks ago in this very spot I am standing in, earlier today we spoke to Officer Steve Ward who was the __leading officer __at the scene."_

The next thing on the screen was Steve outside his home getting bombarded and crowded upon by news casters and camera men shoving mics in his face blocking his path to his car.

"_Officer Ward! Is it true Ronald Stines beat his nephew within an inch from his life?!"_

"_I'm not at liberty to reveal that information. Please move out of my way." _

"_Officer Ward was the man armed when you chose to shoot him?!"_

"_No comment."_

"_Officer Ward! Officer Ward! Where is the nephew now? Is he in a special mental institution?!"_

"_No, he's with a loving family and no I won't say which or where now move!"_

"_Officer Ward what if this boy takes after his uncle?"_

"Oh no he did not..." John hissed at the TV. When he turned to Dean he expected to see anger, a blood thirsty 14 year old wanting to beat the hell out of the screen, he was sure what he actually saw was worse.

"Dean..." Sam tried but Dean was too far gone, he was sobbing, rocking himself, mumbling something about how he promised mommy he would never be like Uncle Ron.

"Dean, kid look at me," John tried but Dean flinched away and ran for the front door, luckily learning from past experiences, John always kept it locked and had fitted another bolt on just in case.

Dean was yanking on the door trying to pull it open, but it wasn't working so he stepped back, brought his foot up and tried kicking it down, but that was failing too.

"Dean, come on son stop it," John said walking to the grunting mess at his front door. He put one hand on his shoulder and Dean went hysterical.

"NO! GET THE HELL OFFA ME!! I WON'T GO THERE! YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST!!"

"Dean, Dean where the hell are we meant to be taking you?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT!! LET ME OUT!!! YOU'RE NOT DRAGGING ME THERE!!! SHE PROMISED ME!! SHE SAID SHE WOULDN'T MAKE ME GO THERE!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME THE HELL OUT!!" Dean screamed, ramming his shoulder into the front door, but the injuries he had suffered over the last month had obviously drained his energy and left him vulnerable.

"Dean stop it, stop, we're not taking you anywhere, just calm down, please baby."

"NO! HE SAID IT! HE DID!! I SWEAR!!!"

"What Dean? What did I say that's got you so worked up?" John asked, oblivious and thinking himself completely innocent.

"You...you said...'you're going have to go into a foster home, I thought this could work and I thought we could help you but this is just unacceptable.' You think I'll be like him don't you? You think I'm worse! Y-you..."

"Dean I wasn't-"

"Stop lying to me! WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M STUPID?! I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES! YOU HATE ME! YOU THINK I'M SOME FREAK MONSTER! JUST LIKE HE DID!"

"No, Dean, no, I do not think you're like him. I never said that damn it!"

"But you did say it! You said I had one more chance!"

"D-dad...dad is this true?" Sam asked with tears in his eyes, his father promised to be nice to Dean, he promised, and if Dean was telling the truth, his father had lied, broken a promise.

"No it..."

"You're just like _him_!" Dean yelled, pushing them out of the way so he could run to a room he had keys to.

"John, stop making excuses, you did say it," Mary warned, glaring at him, making him tell the truth.

"It's not what you think Sam."

"You promised to not be mean anymore...you lied to me, you hurt Dean again!"

"Sam..."

"Shut up! I'm sick of hearing you're sorry, I'm sick of this being everyone else's fault but yours! Just leave us alone!" Sam ran up the steps and slammed his door, making sure his father heard it loud and clear; most days if he slammed his door in a tantrum he would be scared his dad would run up after and yell at him about manners and not slamming doors in this house. But today, he really didn't care, his dad had no right to yell at him, his dad wasn't even his dad right now for all he cared.

"Mary its not...I'm trying to protect my family. Is that so bad?"

"That's a bunch of bull! Dean has never laid a hand on Sam, and I can take care of myself thank you very much, Dean would never turn into his uncle, he despises everything that monster ever was! Do you really think he's going to grow up hitting us like Ronald Stines did to him?!"

"I'm not saying he'd do it on purpose, I just meant-"

"Let's have a rundown shall we? First week Dean was here, who was the one yelling at him, talking to him like dirt because he didn't like talking to you and he didn't quite understand your own personal edition of John Winchester's Book of manners?!"

"That was me."

"And the first time Dean lost it, who was the one provoking him?!" she asked with her finger showing number one on her list.

"I was," John admitted looking at the ground.

"And what did you say?!"

"I made some lame joke about teaching him manners and giving him a scar the proper way."

"Lame? More like _SICK_ joke John!"

John swallowed the building shame and continued to study his boots as Mary continued to count on her fingers.

"And the second time Dean ran away? Who was the one pushing those boys into talking about something private between them? Something Dean was extremely insecure about?"

"Me."

"And have you even apologized for that yet?!"

"No...I guess not."

"This week you jumped down his throat demanding explanations and apologies before you even asked him what he was doing! Even if he did make a mistake and it was what it looked liked, he was attacking me, that doesn't give you the right to send him packing! He's a broken beaten child for god's sake! He needs love and care and guidance! He's not going to know how to act in every situation he's put in because chances are most of this family life is new to him! Just because you think he should know how to act doesn't make it so!"

"I know that, I just-"

"You shoot first and ask questions later, that's what you do. All this crap you spout about honour, respect, manners, and you're the one being the asshole! Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is what's honourable John! Now I suggest you go talk to those boys and if Dean 'screws up' and loses his temper and hits you...well, I hope it hurts!"

"Where are going?" John asked, pleaded more like.

"I'm going out, to talk to Steve about getting that crap about _my_ foster son off the news!"

"Mary I'm...I'm sorry," John said as he watched her storm out of the house heading towards his car.

"I'm not the one you should be saying that to," she glared one last time then got in the Impala and drove away.

"Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT!"

He wiped a hand down his face and through his hair in frustration that was only aimed at himself ironically. He forced himself to calm down then he ran up the steps to his youngest room.

"Sammy, can I come in?"

"Have you said sorry to Dean?" Sam asked, his voice showing clear signs he was crying hard.

"No, not yet kiddo."

"Then what are you doing at my door?" he asked sarcastically, the hint not subtle at all. John mumbled an apology to his youngest then walked slowly towards Dean's room.

"Dean, kiddo can I talk to you? I'm sorry about-" when he pushed the door open he saw the room empty. "Oh shit," he cursed then ran down the hall checking every room for the missing boy. He was finished looking round the upstairs quickly so he ran down the steps and looked in the bathroom downstairs bathroom, kitchen, living room behind every couch cushion. "Dean! Dean come on, I'm sorry, just let me know where you are son!" he really hoped Sam hadn't caught on he had let Dean run away _again_!

Then he heard grunts and small sobs from a room he hadn't thought to check. He tried the garage door but it was locked.

"Dean! You in there sport?!" he asked knocking on the door, for the first time in his life he hated the fact that their garage was so easily accessible from a door inside the house. Why had Dean chosen the one door he couldn't kick down? "Dean! Talk to me!" he begged, almost ordered. "Dean, either open the door or I'm going to get my keys!"

When he heard the lock click open he knew he had used the wrong tone, _that_ definitely sounded more like an order than a request.

"Dean, I know you hate me-"

"Don't hate you…." Dean grunted before he punched once more into the bag.

"Okay, then you dislike me."

"J-just leave me alone."

It was only when Dean drew his hand back far enough that John saw the kid was bleeding, it wasn't surprising, Dean had to have been punching that bag hard for about 10 minutes now without gloves or protection of any kind.

"Dean, stop it, you're going to hurt yourself son."

"I'M NOT YOUR SON!"

"Right, right, I know, just stop, please."

"No!" Dean yelled, punching his hand into the bag once again, the sound of bare knuckles slapping on the leather making John flinch.

"Dean, Dean look at me, turn around and look at me."

Dean refused, he shook his head and punched the bag, over, and over, and over again. As his fist connected with the hard punching bag, he couldn't feel a thing, and he wanted it to, he wanted to feel pain so bad, maybe then he could feel alive.

"Dean!" John yelled, hard and ordering as he grabbed the kid's shoulders and forced him to face him. "Hit me," he ordered with a blank face, it was so blank it almost looked hard.

"N-no," Dean looked too scared right now to even try to push the man off him.

"You'll feel better, I'll feel better, just hit me, please, right here," he said pointing to his face.

"No, I won't!"

"Why?"

"Because then I'll be like him!"

"What makes you like him? In what way are you like him?"

"I'm just so damn angry...all of the time, and he was angry all the time! I don't want to be angry like him! I don't want to hurt anyone!"

"You won't Dean."

"You think I will! You think I'll hurt them! And I don't want to...I don't want to...please don't hurt me please..."

"Dean, is that what you think I'll do? That I'm going to hit you if something happens to Sam, or my wife?"

"You know you would...just like he did."

"No Dean, I wouldn't do that, you're just a child."

"Then you'll send me away! You'll find some way to punish me!"

"Dean, this may come as a shock to you but-"

"Stop talking like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm an idiot! _He_ thought I was an idiot! So just stop it! I'm sick and tired of it!"

"I know you're not an idiot! Not even close."

"Then why are you talking to me like that?! Why do you boss orders at me like I'm some stupid lap dog! _They_ don't!"

"Who?"

"Sam and mo-, Sam and Mary," Dean corrected, hoping John didn't catch that, but the 'oh poor kid' look on his face showed he did. "Nononono...." Dean mumbled looking to the floor.

"Come on, you can't shut down on me now, just keep talking to me," John said, his hands still on the kid's shoulders, so light Dean could push them off in a breeze, but again, he still looked too scared and confused to push John away.

"Let me go...please I'm sorry, I just wanna be left alone..."

"No, tell me how I can make this right, what am I doing wrong?" John asked, faking innocence, he hoped Dean was falling for it, he knew full well what he had done wrong, where he had gone wrong, he just wanted Dean to yell at him for his mistakes, maybe then once the kid let some more pain go he would feel better.

Dean slammed his jaw shut, this was what got him into trouble in the first place, things like speaking his mind, this is why he decided not to talk to adults anymore.

"I'm not gonna hit you, just talk to me son."

That got a reaction, Dean flinched at the name and grunted.

"_Son_, please. What have I done?"

"Y-you.....you keep jumping down my throat... I swear I didn't do anything wrong I swear...I'm trying...I really am, but this is hard okay! It's so damn hard! I just-, I just wanna..."

"Come on, what do you wanna do?"

Dean shook his head once again, refusing to talk, he had said way too much.

"Son, my boy..."

"FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT _YOUR_ BOY! I HAD A FATHER! AND I LOVED HIM! I DON'T NEED ANOTHER! I WANT MY OWN FATHER! AND I WANT MY OWN DAMN MOTHER! I JUST WANT THEM BACK! I WANT MY PARENTS BACK!"

It was after those angry words Dean finally started pounding on John's chest with his bloodied hand, he punched light at first, John was sure that one was a test, and when the boy received no pain back, he hit another time, harder, then again, testing how hard he was allowed to hit.

John felt his chest bone burn, he could feel the bruises already, but he didn't dare move, he just let Dean punch as hard as he could manage and he only stopped the boy when he brought up his casted hand, he didn't mind getting a chest full of plaster, but he was sure Dean couldn't afford any setbacks in his recovery so he held the boys hands by his sides and waited until the grunting and struggling stopped, until Dean was so worn out he just cried, letting his knees buckle and John lowered them both to the concrete floor.

"Okay, I know, I know...Dean, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for everything I've said to upset you, I'm sorry for speaking before I think, I'm sorry. I wish to god I could do something to give you your parents back. I'm sorry kiddo, I'm sorry."

The look in Dean's eyes showed he had shut down again. John pulled the boy up to standing again and walked him out of the garage and back in the house, he laid him on the sofa and covered him with a blanket then sat on the chair across from him and watched as his eyes closed.

"Now I gotta go say sorry to Sam," he said pushing himself back up to stand and he made his way up the steps. "Sammy..."

_**SPN**_

"Dean, Dean wake up...my parents are out, wake up."

Only when he heard the verdict on the parents Dean opened his eyes and sat up.

"Hey," Sam greeted with an awkward smile.

Dean nodded a hello then looked to his lap.

"My dad's always been like this you know."

Dean face showed the questioned, 'like what?'

"He always jumps down people's throats before they even get a chance to explain, that's just how my dad is."

"Yeah...he hates me though."

"He doesn't! He's just a hard egg to crack sometimes."

"You're 10, how do you even know that expression?" Dean chuckled.

"Like you keep telling my dad, I'm not stupid."

"Huh...guess I'm guilty of that too then."

"Yup, you and my dad are a lot alike."

"What? No, where not, he's nothing like me, I'm...he's...he's a better man that I'll ever make."

"Why? Cos some asshole just happened to hit you?"

"It's not as simple as that Sam."

"Then explain it to me."

"No, you're having enough nightmares already."

"I can handle it Dean, not knowing and letting my imagination run wild is what's giving me nightmares. Please?"

"No," Dean moved to stand up, leave the room, tell Sam the discussion was over, but he just wasn't letting up, he followed Dean upstairs and ran in the room before Dean could even close the door.

"Tell me, I wanna know. I wanna help? Please?"

"For the last time Sam, no, just stop asking so many damn questions, just piss off for once."

Sam knew what Dean was trying to do, he had done it several times in the past and like a fool, Sam had fallen for it, well...not this time!

"Didn't you hear me?! I said leave me the fuck _ALONE_!"

"You're not scaring me, and like you said the other day, 'I'm not leaving till you give me an actual reason for having that slapped ass look on your face,' So you might as well tell me before I start to really annoy you."

Dean sighed, this kid wouldn't drop it till he knew something, even just a small part of something, he wasn't going until he got it.

"You've seen them right?"

"What?"

Dean clenched his jaw shut then lifted his shirt and showed Sam the very visible tally of scars on his back.

"First time...I was 8, Unc....Ron thought it was time for me to go on a hunt by myself. He dragged me out into this huge forest, told me I had to kill it..."

"What?"

"It's called a Wendigo...kinda like a werewolf only meaner. And I got out there, there was this woman, she had long brown hair down to her waist, green eyes, red lipstick. She was wearing a nurses outfit, and she looked...she didn't belong there. She was so scared, but when she saw me she forgot about all that, she picked me up and put me behind her, using herself as a shield, she tried to protect me when the Wendigo came I wanted to tell her to move, that I could handle it on my own, that she was the one in danger, not me. She screamed, god she screamed...and I couldn't move, I couldn't even breathe I was so terrified. She was screaming so damn loud...her guts were being ripped out of her body with huge claws but she held on trying to tell me to run."

"God..." Sam whispered, not sure what else to say.

"The worst part...was my uncle, I thought he left me, I was kinda hoping he did. But I looked up and there he was, just standing there, watching, hearing this woman being ripping limb from limb and he just watched. He knew I would screw up from the moment he dropped me off, sometimes I think he wanted her to die just so he could teach me a lesson, let me know how much of failure I was...am."

"You're not a failure, he was just a sick freak Dean."

Dean ignored the kind words and just went on with his story.

"When the woman stopped screaming, when she'd choked to death on her own insides...he looked at me, moved out of the way then let the Wendigo go after me, almost ripped my face off with one claw. But that was when I knew, he used me and that poor woman as bait so he could be the one that got the victory, so he could feel good for killing it."

"Dean, it wasn't your fault she died, it was his, you were too young to be responsible for that."

"Then why couldn't _I_ kill it? If he killed it while I was the distraction, then why couldn't I kill it before when that woman was at least still alive? I should have worked faster."

"Dean, it's not even slightly possible that the woman died because of you."

"The tally says otherwise."

"Is that what that's for?" Sam asked with wide eyes as tears ran out of them.

"He dragged me back to the motel, literally, when we got back, he made me strip, I thought he just meant my shirt but...then he said 'strip off boy!' and I knew...he wanted me to take off everything, he pinned me to the wall, shoved something in my mouth to keep me from screaming and he lit his cigar...ones my mom let my dad have on special occasions. Then he drew a line down my back with the lit end and...god I felt like someone was peeling my skin off then setting it on fire with lava.

Once I was done screaming through the...whatever was stopping me screaming, he said he needed to make up for two more people I let die...and he drew two more, the first one was for my dad, then he said 'this is for my sister you piece of shit.' And that line...it was longer, twice as long as the others. But what I don't get is... he treated her like trash, my dad really hated him for looking down on my mom all the time, but my mom still loved him, she did everything she could for him. Never understood why he made me feel guilty for my mom when.....I thought one day when I was older, when I could out fight him, I could ask him why but...now I guess that's kinda outa the window huh?"

"Dean, if you tell me more about your mom then I think maybe I can help you figure it out..."

"You know...I remember every face, every dead person I'm marked for, I see Nurse Watson in my head every day, clear as a picture, what shape her nose was, what earrings she had on. I remember the old guy in Carolina with the Michael Jackson tribute walking stick. I remember the Carlsons, this newly married couple in Boston with the granny SUV. I know every single victim I couldn't save, close my eyes and there they are, but the people I did save, my uncle didn't even let me look at them long enough for me to even know their names, I can't remember one single person I saved...not one, so what does that tell you huh?"

"Yes you can...I know one person."

"Yeah, who?"

"Me you doofas, you saved me, you can add Sam Winchester to your list, in fact you should make one, I'm not saying you should burn yourself a new tally but...make a list and hide it in your shoe or something."

Sam stood, ran to his room, grabbed some paper and wrote his name in big bold letters.

"There you go, now hide it, and whenever you save somebody you can put their names down, and then when you see how big this list will be and how quickly it will fill the page, you'll know you save people."

"Thanks Sam for the gesture but it really isn't as eas-"

"Just try it, or I swear I'm telling my mom and dad that you plan on leaving soon, they'll never let you out of this house and they'll chain and bolt the place if they know what you're planning."

"Fine," Dean huffed taking the piece of paper and folding it up. When Sam didn't budge he huffed again then lifted his shoe from the floor and stuffed the paper inside. "Happy now?"

"Very," Sam grinned, then snorted at the bitch face Dean was pulling, "dude you're grumpy."

"And you're annoying."

"And you're a jerk."

"Little bitch."

_**TBC...**_


	19. No need to ask, I got you!

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**No need to ask, I got you!**

"Have a seat, John's in garage getting all the things together."

"Okay, does he need a hand?"

"No, he's fine," Mary told Steve, her tone hinting how irritated she was.

"What has the hard ass gone and done now? He hasn't pissed off your boss again has he?"

"No, it's a family thing, a lot has happened over the last few weeks."

The next thing they knew, Sam and Dean were skipping down the stairs eavesdropping in on what the adults were gossiping about.

"Hey Uncle Steve, what are you doing here? Is this about the thing that was on the news?" Sam asked innocently, regretting it when he saw the look on Dean's face.

"No Sammy, I told you sweetheart, that's all taken care of, you don't have to worry about that stuff okay? Just leave that to me and your father. Okay boys?" she asked, making sure they knew to leave that subject to the grownups.

They both nodded and looked to the floor when Mary sounded a tad frustrated, they had no clue if it was at them or not.

Sensing the awkward tension in the room Steve stepped in.

"So kids, you ready to go?"

"Go where?" Sam asked making a face at Dean, who also didn't have a clue.

"Your dad tells me you're off the hook for grounding, we're going fishing," Steve said with a face that was asking them if they knew or not, which by the looks in both boys faces, they had no clue.

"Nice one Ward, ruin the surprise," John said coming up behind them with bags and fishing lines.

"Dad, I thought we were grounded for like another week or two?"

"Well me and your mom talked, we think you've both learned your lessons so it's time we did something fun while I'm off work. What do you say Dean? You up for some fresh air?"

"Ah...y-yes sir," Dean nodded.

"You sure kiddo? We can postpone it for a few days if you're still hurting?"

Dean shook his head, "I'm good."

"Sam you up to fishing bud?" John asked, his new attitude and concern working overtime, but he just wanted to make sure, he didn't want to drag them out and have Dean be in pain or Sam get upset.

"If Dean is," Sam said smiling at the older kid next to him.

"Ditto," Dean mumbled, his smile a little rigid from not being used in so long but it was better than nothing.

"Here, Dean I know you like turkey so I made 2 sandwiches for you, Sammy you got peanut butter and you men have egg mayo."

"Thanks Mar," John smiled at her then planted a kiss on her cheek, testing if he was still in the dog house.

"Be careful boys, John you look after them," Mary warned kissing him on the lips telling him he was forgiven...kind of.

"Okay if you two are done with the tonsil tennis me and the kids would like to get going before the fish die of old age."

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

"Good, thanks for the sandwiches Mary, you're a god send."

"I know, what you men would do without me, I have no idea."

"Crash and burn baby," John said going in for another kiss when Sam pulled a face.

"Eww, get a room. Come on Dean, let's go before this gets R rated."

"You kids get settled in the car, I'm gonna be a few more minutes."

"Eeewww dad!" Sam whined taking the keys, he and Dean running out the door before the really gross action started.

John and Mary chuckled at the kids turning green then pulled away from each other as Steve ushered John out the door along with the kids.

They filled Steve's truck with the gear then John told both kids to get in the back so he could place the sandwiched filled cool box between them.

"See you in 30 Johnny," Steve yelled through his winded down window.

"See ya! You kids ready to go?"

Sam looked over at Dean who nodded.

"We're ready dad."

"Good, let's get this show on the road. And before I forget, let's put on some road tunes!"

"Dad, you don't have to sound so cheesy."

"Can't a guy be jolly?" John asked innocently.

Dean leaned over and whispered something in Sam's ear.

"Dad you're acting like Santa Clause in Disneyland getting laid by all the Elves" Sam said, copying Dean's every word, and not understanding one of them.

"Dude!" Dean yelped, Sam wasn't actually supposed to tell the old man that!

Dean turned a painful shade of red and expected some kind of clout for that sarcastic joke, but when he heard John laughing he frowned and looked totally confused.

He would say christo but then again, demons would hit you, so he can't be possessed.

"That's a good one kid, that's pretty witty for a 14 year old. Just don't talk like that in front of Mary, she'll think I taught you."

"Y-yes sir," Dean said, the painful, fearful wasps in his stomach turning into a few butterflies, he could handle a few butterflies.

"Dad I don't get it. Will somebody explain it me?" Sam asked not following the conversation whatsoever. His pout grew when Dean started chuckling at him and John was wetting himself.

"Sammy, I'm sure Dean will teach you all about the meaning of grown up jokes as you two get older," and with that John pushed the cassette tape in and started the engine...maybe today's father sons bonding wouldn't be so awkward after all.

"_Back in black  
I hit the sack  
I've been too long I'm glad to be back [I bet you know I'm...]  
Yes, I'm let loose  
From the noose!"_

"Aaaawww man..." Sam grumbled, how could anyone like this music?

He cursed again when he saw Dean bobbing his head along too.

_**SPN**_

They got out to the large pond, John handed Sam and Dean a fishing rod each with all the kit and caboodle in the rod bag.

Steve had arrived 5 minutes earlier and had set up his line already and he was now starting on setting up the chairs for them all by the dock.

"Okay kids, listen up, this is called a-" John cut himself off when he saw Dean already had his rod drawn, reeled and ready to go with bait and everything.

"How did you know how to do all that?" Sam asked shocked, wanting to be that good at fishing too.

"I remembered from when my dad taught me."

"Dean, this is impressive kid, think you could show Sammy while I get some more stuff outa the truck?"

"Uh...yeah, sure," Dean nodded, shocked John was trusting him with Sam and his rod, fishing lines if not set up right, could really be a harmful thing, if the line wasn't through all the holes right then it could spring off and hit you in the eye or worse, and that was only one thing out of hundreds a poorly set up fishing line could do to you.

"Dean?" Sam asked snapping Dean from his thoughts.

"Uh yeah...so, this is called a spool, um...this is the line and these are all the rods you need to fit together...here, let me show you."

Dean set his rod down careful of the others, before helping Sam. He took out all the parts from the bag Sam was holding then started on fishing class, part 1.

"You gotta make sure all these rods are perfectly straight, all the hook holes here need to be perfectly in line."

"Okay, so what I just put this on here?" Sam asked picking up 2 of the connecting rod parts and pushing one into the other, making sure the holes for the fishing line were perfectly lined up just like Dean said.

Next Dean explained the reel and the spool and everything in that area.

"Now thread this line of wire through all the holes, but make sure it goes through every hole cos if you miss one you gotta start again."

"What happens if you do miss one and you fish like that?"

"I think the fish would be reeling you in, not the way it's supposed to be," Dean joked.

"Really?!" Sam asked with wide eyes.

"No you plant pot!" Dean said before he laughed at the kid, wow he fell for anything.

_**SPN**_

Back down at the water edge Steve and John were chatting away, watching the boys closely but giving them space to have a talk alone.

"Seems like Dean's doing better, Sammy too."

"Yeah, Dean doesn't look as petrified of me as he did the other week, and Sammy's forgiven me for being an ass I think."

"Good, now if you could just keep the non ass thing up they'll be perfect."

"Hey, I'm trying here man."

"I know, it was a joke, just don't ever let Mary out of the house to go barge into my station again, she scared the living crap outa half my staff."

"Yeah, well, protective mothers are scary as hell, especially my Mary."

"She's a scary one alright, keeps you in line, that's for sure."

"Damn straight, I know my place," John chuckled as he and his friend set up the nets and spare bait.

"So, back to a serious note, how are you all really?"

"Mary's good, better now that crap's off the news. Dean hasn't flipped in a good week, but he still yells outa the blue sometimes."

"At what?"

"Not sure, the other day he was in the living room working on some school work and I think he got pissed off that he didn't understand some equation so he tossed the book to the other side of the room then took himself to the garage and had a few rounds with the punching bag. Sam checked up on him every so often, brought him lunch and bottles of water. Kid's a saint, I'm lucky to have him as my son."

"Yeah, if only you told _him_ that."

"I tell him I'm proud of him, he knows."

"Good, that's good." _'Yeah sure he does.'_

Once the awkward silence set in they both turned their attention to the kids.

"Here, put this on your hook," Dean said when he added it onto Sam's line.

"Ewww!! No! I'm not touching a gross insect!" Sam said turning green at the squirming maggot.

"You're such a girl," Dean chuckled whilst dangling the bug in front of Sam's face when he tried to get away.

"What is he playing at?" John hissed when he saw Dean teasing Sam.

"John they're boys, leave him alone, he's only messing around. Sam knows that. Chill, remember what Mary said about thinking before you act? You should try it sometime. Sam will tell you when he's had enough teasing."

"Oh...right, yeah."

"You are such an old woman I swear."

"Takes one to know one."

"And I thought they were the kids," Steve mocked at his friend.

"Deeaaann!!" Sam whined and John again frowned when the kids were messing around but let out a sigh of relief when he saw Sam was laughing at he was chased by the maggot and Dean.

"You're bigger than he is!" Dean defended.

"Yeah, exactly! Ewww dad tell him!" Sam said making John and Steve laugh.

"I guess you were right," John mumbled towards his old buddy who gave him the 'Duh! I'm always right,' look.

"You boys all set up?" John asked when he saw the joking simmer down.

"Yeah, but I'm not touching a maggot," Sam said, head high and mighty.

"Good luck catching a fish then kid," Steve said as he took a seat at the end, letting Sam and Dean sit in the middle and John sit on the other far end.

"Uncle Steve can you put it on the end for me?" Sam asked, using his puppy eyes making Dean laugh when the man fell for it and did as Sam asked.

"When that falls off let me know," Steve smiled, guiding Sam's rod into the water.

"Thank you."

"Dean you remember how to bring in your line when you got a fish?" John asked as he started reeling in and out, trying to draw the attention of some friendly fish.

"Yes sir," Dean said, his voice still nervous and quiet around John.

"Last catcher buys the beers after," Steve said feeling lucky.

"But me and Dean don't have any money, and we can't drink beer."

"You just know you're gonna be last don't cha Sammy?" Steve asked, shaking his head, that kid really did have an answer for everything.

"Only Dean gets to call me that!" Sam whined.

"Sam stop pouting or you're going back to the car."

"But I was just-"

"He wasn't pouting, he was just telling Steve not to call him that okay?" Dean asked with a strong attitude, John would be appalled by that tone usually, but when he saw Steve's tight lips and wide eyes telling him to just let it go, he did.

"Okay, sorry kids, come on this is meant to be a relaxing day, let's just fish," John said hoping he was doing the right thing here.

"Okay dad, sorry."

"Yeah...sorry sir," Dean whispered, his head low and apologetic.

"It's okay kids, nice to see you two looking out for each other so much," John said smiling at them then going back to fishing, he felt all the eyes on him but just smiled and shook it off, sure enough it worked and they all went back to fishing for some sea buddies.

"Whoa! Dad I think I got one!" Sam cheered feeling his rod being pulled from him.

"Okay Sam now you need to-" John stopped talking when he saw Dean's full attention was on the kid, telling him what to do and holding Sam's line with him.

"Here, pull this back...up a bit, yeah like that, now slowly pull him in, not too fast, you'll mess up your line but don't go slow or he'll be in control of you."

"How do you know it's a he?" Sam asked as he did as he was told with Dean's help.

"He just is," Dean shrugged, reeling the spool in with the kid and soon enough the wriggling fish was out the water and hanging from Sam's line in the air.

"Nice one Sammy!"

"Dean what do I do now? We're not eating him are we?"

"No Sam, you don't eat this kind of fish," Dean said, shaking his head trying not to laugh as he took the fish from Sam's rod.

"Can I name him?" Sam asked with a big bright smile as Dean passed him the wire holding the gray slimy fish.

"Sure Sammy," John said proud of his son's first catch. It was better than his first fish anyway, well...his ended up being a old boot someone dropped in the water, he was gutted when he pulled it out and his father took a picture of him holding a slimy soaking boot on a fishing line with all sorts of gross creatures hanging from it, not one of them was anything remotely like a fish.

"Um...Jeremy, I like Jeremy."

"Jeremy it is, smile kids," John said holding up the camera waiting for them to strike a pose.

Sam stood there grinning with the fish in his hand and Dean hid behind him and pulled an awkward frown that looked more like a wince than a smile, what made it worse was he looked to the floor when the flash went off.

"Dean, kid?" Steve asked when he saw the boy look awfully uncomfortable, the first fish picture was supposed to be medal worthy, he wanted the Winchesters to have a really nice picture of the boys to display and that wasn't going to happen if Dean wasn't even looking at the camera because he was so unnerved.

Dean turned and bit his lip at the man, not sure what he was meant to do.

"Sammy say cheese!" John yelled trying to keep Sam busy while his friend had a little pep talk with Dean.

"Daaadd!" Sam whined but stopped when John pulled _that_ face.

"Okay?" Steve asked smiling at Dean who nodded nervously. "One more kids," he said moving out of the way of the shot.

Dean huffed when he saw Steve nodding to him but did as he was told. He crept up behind Sam and pulled a set of bunny ears behind the kid's head, when he finally got the gist of it he pulled a stupid face and tried not to laugh too much when Sam grinned proudly and oblivious as he held up his prized fish.

"Good job kids, now what do you say we put the fish back-"

"Jeremy!" Sam corrected.

"Okay, what do you say we put _Jeremy_ back in the water before he suffocates?"

Dean nodded then helped Jeremy off Sam's hook and back in the water.

"Bye Jeremy!" Sam waved the fish off then smiled at the others smirking at him.

"Sam, you are freaky," Steve chuckled.

"So's your face!" Sam snapped back before he let out a long laugh at the adults' faces, it took them an embarrassing amount of time to figure that one out. "Told you that one works!" Sam said to Dean, he had played that trick on Dean the other way and told him adults take ten times longer making sense of the joke than kids.

"...Yeah well you're a...a..." Steve was totally out done there.

"Good come back," John said laughing, mostly because it was so nice to see both boys laughing together. Dean had let his guard down finally and Sam had let go of perfect manners for the first time in a long time, he knew Sam still had more manners than half the kids at his school but it was good to see both boys laughing and joking, knowing neither of them would get hit, punished, or told off for talking back and having a good old laugh with 2 old dudes.

_**SPN**_

"Dean, nice catch kiddo!" John cheered when the older boy lifted the huge fish out of the water. Getting into the swing of it now, Dean stood politely and smiled at the camera shining his way. Sam was behind him and he knew what the kid was doing, but it just made it even funnier because Sam couldn't reach to save his life. He was standing on his tip toes, trying to pull bunny ears high enough above Dean's head but it just wasn't working.

Dean nudged Sam back playfully then dropped the fish back into the water.

"You kids hungry?" John asked, setting his line down out of the water.

"Yeah, Dean?"

Dean nodded, his face soft, he wasn't quite smiling but it was a nice peaceful refreshing expression that John and Sam were happy to see.

Both men walked back to the cars, which were parked just behind them, then turned around quickly when Sam called.

"Dad! Dad I got another one!" Sam yelled when he saw his rod moving into the water quickly.

Sam ran for his line and caught it just in time, but then the fish tugged again, much harder than Sam expected and he was yanked forward and cried out when he saw the water coming up fast.

"Sam!" John yelled, he and Steve both running forward to the young boy, but they both knew Sam would fall into the water before they could save him.

Sam let out a sob when he was certain he was going to land in the deep grimy sewage called a pond then sucked in a gasp when he felt strong arms wrap around him and pull him back.

_**SPN**_

"Sam!" Dean heard John yell so he turned. He saw Sam get yanked forward into the air and dive towards the water and acted in a flash when he watched the accident unfold in milli seconds.

Just as Sam was inches away from the dangerous water, he wrapped his arms round the kid's middle, careful his cast wouldn't hit Sam's stomach, then he pulled the boy backwards from the water, both of them landing on the dirt ground panting.

"Man that was close," Dean sighed once his mind had caught up with his body.

"Y-yeah...." Sam whispered in shock, his face pale and clammy.

"Sammy, Sammy are you okay?" John asked, pulling his youngest up and rushing a check up making sure he wasn't hurt.

"I'm fine d-dad...I d-don't wanna f-fish anymore," he said with a scared tone as he pulled back even further away from the water.

Steve pulled Dean up and brushed him off, the horror seeping from his face, pride replacing it as he nodded a well done to Dean and patted him on the shoulder.

"Dean you okay kiddo?" John asked the older boy as he ran a hand through Sam's hair trying to calm the left over fright in his boy.

"M'fine sir," Dean nodded, not that he could care less if he hurt himself just then.

Steve offered a bottle of water to Sam who still looked like he was going to pass out from shock. He was about to suggest packing up for the day when Dean spoke before he could.

"I'm gonna go take him for a walk or something," Dean said, his voice strong yet calm, taking charge as he put an arm over Sam's shoulders, leading the kid away from the pond neither of them were too fond of anymore.

"Don't go too far, be back in 30 at most okay?" John said trusting the boy to take care of his son who still looked traumatised.

"I'll look after him sir," Dean promised, addressing John directly for the first time, his voice, his posture, his mind still calm and strong.

"John, and I know you will."

Dean nodded then turned Sam with him and guided the kid with him down the small path leading away from the pond and up a grassy hill.

"You okay?" Dean asked when they were out of earshot.

"Y-yeah."

"Liar," Dean smirked.

Sam wiped the water from his eyes as he looked up at Dean, he wasn't upset or even scared, he was just so...freaked out! And he really didn't know how anyone could react so fast like Dean just did, he felt like he was just saved by Superman and his super speed powers. His mind still hadn't caught up with the rest of him, he still had to process everything, he didn't touch the water, not even a drop. It was strange to him that something he was certain was going to happen, didn't in the slightest.

"T-thanks. For saving me again."

"No problem kid, just stop getting into so much trouble okay?"

"O-ok-kay?"

"You're okay," Dean promised, rubbing his hand on Sam's arm trying to settle the shivers still there.

"Yeah, that just kinda...I dunno, I thought I was gonna drown."

"But you didn't, so you're okay."

Sam nodded, swallowing his anxiety as Dean stopped at the top of the hill and made him sit down.

"You go to sleep last night?"

"Why?"

"Cos I could hear you shuffling around at 4am, you need to go to sleep Sam."

"Yeah well so do you."

"That's different."

"How? You didn't go to sleep and neither did I."

"I didn't sleep cos you didn't."

"Yeah well I didn't sleep cos you didn't too."

"You are so bad at this, you know," Dean chuckled, shaking his head, Sam wasn't really playing fair.

"So are you," Sam smirked.

"Tell you what, tonight, we both go to sleep."

"Okay. I didn't make you hurt your back or ribs did I?" Sam asked when he saw Dean wince.

"No, my hand just itches like crazy."

"Maybe you got a maggot crawling up in there," Sam laughed as Dean tried to get a stem of long grass up his cast to scratch the irritating area.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"You okay now?" Dean asked on a serious note.

"Yeah, thanks," the young boy breathed, his shaking finally settling down and the stun wearing off.

"Welcome, come on, let's go see how long this path is," Dean said, brushing his butt off as he stood and waited for Sam to follow suit.

"Where do you think it goes?"

"To a witches cave."

"Really?" Sam gasped.

"No you goof!"

"Dude you are so mean! Are witches ever real?"

"Yup, come on slow coach! You catch me up I might tell you about my first hunt for one!" Dean yelled as he ran down and round the dirt path and into the woods.

"Hey wait up!"

_**TBC...**_

_**I tried to make it all happy and fun like **_rog457 _**requested **_: I would love to see John, Dean & Sam spending some quality time together where no one gets hurt or upset, no one cries.

_**But dudes I couldn't help myself lol, hope you liked, I sat through way too many painful fishing how to vids on youtube for this chapter!!! Deary me, the things I do for FF, hahah x **_


	20. I don’t wannatalk about it

**I don't know whether its more gracious to say sorry now or later...so I'm doing both: SORRY!**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**I don't wanna...talk about it**

It was a few days later, Dean had been taken back to the local hospital and had gotten his cast taken off much to his relief and even though he was told to take it easy, he was working his ass off at getting back into training and doing school work with Sam, unfortunately, the maths wasn't going as well as his gym.

"Oh for fuck sake!"

"It's not that difficult."

"Says the freaky teacher's pet!"

"Hey," Sam whined, hurt at the insult Dean just tossed.

"Sorry...I'm just...sorry."

"If you want me to go just say so, jeez do you have to be such an ass about it?"

"Sam I didn't-"

"Yeah, sure, I'm going to my room, freaky teacher's pet has got some homework to do," Sam mumbled as he stood from Dean's bed and left the room.

Dean punched his pillow, pissed at himself for what he just said..._'damn it! Why do I keep yelling at the poor little kid?! What the hell is wrong with me?!! Oohh...don't open that door, you'll be here forever!! Man I'm such a dick!!'_

Sam's words from last month went round in his head_, _'it's worse to pretend you're mean than to show you're sad.'

'_Yeah...easier said than done right Dick Dean?'_

He made his way downstairs, feeling the need to punch something, if he didn't use the bag then he was sure he would punch himself right now...so he walked to the punching bag and started pounding.

Sam too felt guilty about taking Dean's words to heart so much, Dean was just a little frustrated that's all. So why was he being such a baby?

He huffed in frustration then sat on his bed with his school books scattered round him, '_which subject first?'_

_**SPN**_

"N-no...No...Dean...n-no...please....No!" Sam cried, sitting upright in bed. He was covered in sweat and breathing heavy from the panic.

When the images of the nightmare became clear he sniffled then laid back down, curling on his side, crying into his pillow.

"Sam, hey Sam?"

"W-what?" Sam asked the familiar voice, trying to sound like he wasn't crying.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine...you owe me $5 for not being asleep," he whispered before he let out a fake snort.

"Dude how do you even know that I wasn't just asleep?"

"Cos, I'm just that good."

Dean sighed, happy Sam was joking around but not happy the kid was avoiding things. He made his way to the Sam's bed and sat down where he hoped the boys limbs weren't. Sam sat up and listened as Dean spoke, it wasn't like he planned on doing anything like sleep now.

"Your mom told me...talking about things helps...so, you wanna give it a go?"

"Give what a go?"

"Do you wanna talk?"

"Why? What difference does it make? It's not gonna go away and it's not gonna make me forget the nightmares so what's the point?"

"Well, you'll never know until you try."

"And since when are you a person that likes to talk about stuff?"

"Since...since I came and lived here...I've spent like 7 years being on my own, with no one for company apart from a dick head I kinda still consider as family. And I know this sounds totally lame but...I'm glad I'm not a total loner anymore."

"Yeah, my parents are cool, I know," Sam nodded proud.

"I know...but I'm not talking about them." Sam gave Dean a strange look at that sentence, "I'm talking about you, doofas, so now I've embarrassed myself by telling you that, can you return the favour by telling me what your nightmares are about?"

"Just go to sleep Dean, I'm fine."

"And I'm the Easter bunny, like my tail?"

"Dean, I promise...I-I feel better now, thanks," Sam smiled, genuinely feeling better with just that short talk with Dean.

"You sure?" the older boy asked as he stood and wandered back to the door.

"Yeah, I'm sure, night Dean."

"Night Sammy."

_**SPN**_

"Mom please?"

"You need to go to school, besides there's only a few more weeks before you break up for Easter."

"But mom...my back still hurts and-"

"Sam the doctor said your back is fine, you even said so weeks ago, you're not pulling that one so stop it, you're going and that's final."

"Mo-mom please...I'm tired..."

"Sam, do not give me that look," Mary warned when he forced tears to his eyes.

"But mom-"

"Unless you want to be grounded again I suggest you stop with that voice and go do some homework."

"I hate you!" Sam screamed, stomping his foot before he ran upstairs.

Mary slammed the pots into the sink then took off after him.

"Samuel Winchester you do not speak like that in this house!" she yelled coming in his room, panting and angry at her son.

"But I don't wanna go to school! Can't you just do what I want for once?! You always listen to Dean!"

"That's different and you know it, Dean can't go to school because he needs to catch up to his class, you are doing fine in school."

"No I'm not! Everybody picks on me! It's not fair! I just wanna stay here with Dean so he can protect me from them!"

"Sam if you're scared of the bullies then you should have told me, I'll go talk to your teacher if you want."

"Mom that only works for little kids! I'm 10! They don't listen to teachers so why even bother?!"

"Sam I'm trying to come up with a way to make you feel better here and all you're giving me is attitude and grief! You know you have to go to school so stop with this ridiculous behaviour."

"But mom!-"

"You're going to stay in this room till you sort out your attitude young man," and with that she closed the door and went back downstairs.

Sam cried into his pillow then took off running for Dean's room.

"I heard you and your mom fighting," Dean said when the kid ran into his room and he was shocked when Sam leaped on him in a fit of sobs. "Hey, hey what's wrong? It wasn't that bad," Dean tried, his fights with his uncle were 10 times louder than that and 100 times more painful, physically and emotionally, so why was Sam so upset over school?

"I don't want you to leave!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"If I go to school, you might leave before I can come home and say goodbye, I don't want you to!"

"Sam that's not...I haven't even thought about that in ages, I won't take off while you're at school I promise."

"But...I don't wanna go to school, I like staying home with you. please tell her not to make me go...please?"

"Sam you gotta go to school, I didn't and look how well that turned out."

"But I don't want to!"

"Sam, I'm sorry but you have to, please? For me? I don't want you to end up behind and stupid like me."

"You're not stupid! You've done fine, you don't need school for hunting so why do I?"

"Cos there is no way you'll ever hunt. Sam please? For me? Just try it? I won't take off I swear."

"B-but I just don't want to..." Sam cried once again.

"Why?"

"I'm tired, and I'm scared, and I just don't want to..."

"Sam is this about the nightmares? God...I knew you weren't okay last night, why the hell didn't you tell me you are this freaked out?"

"Cos I didn't think I was...please Dean I can't sleep."

"Sam you gotta go to sleep whether you go to school or not."

"But it doesn't really matter if I don't now I'm not at school."

"It does matter, you're gonna get sick, or go insane, believe me I've been there."

"But I can't," Sam forced.

"Okay...tell me what I can do to help you, if I get you outa school for a few more days then can you at least talk to me?"

"But..."

"_Sam_," Dean warned, so this is what it was like being a parent.

"No, doesn't matter...just leave me alone."

Sam whimpered, let out once last whine then pushed off from Dean and left with his head down. Why wasn't anybody listening to him? He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to feel better already!

_**SPN**_

Dean rubbed his clammy palms together and locked his shaking jaw as he made his way to the study where John spent most of his days lately. He knocked on the door then cleared his throat.

John looked up from his papers and smiled when he saw Dean.

"What's up Dean?" he asked taking his glasses off, he only needed them for reading and for some reason they always made him feel a little claustrophobic and cut off when he was talking to people.

"Um...Mr. W-Winchester?" Dean asked, his voice hitching and shaky.

"Yeah?" John asked casually, trying to ignore the Mr. Winchester for just this once.

Dean cleared his throat about 7 times then lost count after that.

"Dean? Something wrong?" John asked when he saw the boy more nervous, almost scared, than he had in a quite some weeks.

"Ah....Sam um....Sam's sick....he was puking last night."

John frowned in shock then stood from his chair and went to Dean standing in the doorway.

"Uh...h...I...." was all John managed, he hadn't heard anything, Mary hadn't heard anything, and Sam seemed fine this morning when he saw him...usually the kid was sobbing his eyes out when he got ill, no matter his age, Sammy was always a crying sick kid. Sure they heard the boys talking about some private things but that's about it, they had heard, but kept it to themselves and stayed in bed when they heard the subject topic of last night, they were trying to give the boys some space...but they didn't hear any puking.

"He didn't want me to tell you, but...I thought I should," Dean told the confused man.

"_Ookkkkaayyyy_...thanks Dean, I think I'll go check on Sammy, why don't you watch some TV or something okay?" John ruffled the boy's hair, happy there wasn't a flinch, then made his way to Sam's room. "Sammy? Sammy kiddo you okay in here?"

Sam opened his door and frowned.

"Sam you okay son?" John asked, feeling Sam's forehead for a fever before the boy could even blink.

"Is mom still mad at me?" Sam asked when he pulled a nose at the mother Henning.

"Why would your mom be mad at you?" John asked testing the waters.

"I said that...IhatedherbutIdidn'tmeanit!"

"Okay..._what_?" John asked not getting a word of that, maybe Sam was delirious.

"I said something bad to mom earlier but I didn't mean it, I'm sorry I was just scared about going back to school and I didn't mean it I was just-"

"School?" John asked with his hands on his hips.

"_What have I said?" _Sam winced knowing_ that _tone, that was the 'you have just put your foot in that one son,' tone.

"This is what you kids are playing it? Skiving from school? Well I gotta say Sam that's a new one for you. Dean, come up here please!" John yelled but in the voice he knew Dean wouldn't be afraid of, he hoped the boy would just come upstairs and be a normal kid getting told off this time, he didn't want another round of crying/yelling/screaming/traumatised Dean, the kid needed a break.

But thankfully Dean, despite keeping his head low, came up the steps and met at the side of Sam.

"I'm not impressed boys, would either of you care to tell me what this is about?"

Neither of them raised their heads so John sighed.

"Why do you suddenly wanna skip school Sam? This must be something big because I know you and I know this isn't you."

"Sam-"

"I was just having too much fun not going to school...I kinda wanted it to last longer, I guess Dean took it too seriously and tried to help me...I'm sorry dad," the youngest boy lied, cutting off Dean's truth.

John sighed and shook his head.

"Well okay, I know what it's like to be a kid having too much fun at home, so I'm not gonna ground either of you, but if this happens again I will, understood?"

"Yes sir," Dean nodded.

"Yeah dad, I'm sorry."

"Go on, git, go have fun while it lasts," John waved the both of them off them snorted when they were out of ear shot. "Kids," he chuckled making his way back to his work downstairs.

_**SPN**_

"Dean what did you tell my dad?!" Sam askedwhen he heard his father go downstairs.

"I told him you were sick."

'_I just almost had heart failure talking to that guy for Sam!'_

"You could have at least done me the favour of faking it! Man what the hell is with you?! You want off school, I try and help you, you have the full opportunity of skipping for another week and you go and open your big mouth and blow the whole thing! Make your damn mind up!"

"Yeah well I don't like lying to my mom and dad, I suck at faking to be sick anyway."

"All you have to do is stick a toothbrush down your throat a few times and you get the whole week off, it's easy!"

"That's gross!"

"It works!"

"But you said if you help me off school then you wanted me to talk."

"Oh my god, you chose going to school and risking passing out at your desk over talking to me?! Am I that bad?! Do you hate me or something?! Seriously what the hell is the matter with you?!"

"Fine, I'll tell you about my nightmares if you talk to me about your parents!"

That shut Dean up.

"See, not so easy is it?!"

"You're comparing my parents, my mother and father dying...being murdered! To a few of your bad dreams, what the hell?! Are you stupid or just plain sick?! They were my parents Sam!"

"You don't even know so shut up."

"Tell me then! Please I beg of you!"

"Just leave me alone! You're like the big brother I never wanted!"

"And you're just a whiny little brat! God I can't win at anything...you are seriously messed up if you actually just tried to blackmail me into talking about my dead mother and father..." Dean grumbled last before he walked out of Sam's room slamming the door on his way. "Fuck...." Dean whispered when he realized what horrible things he had just said.

"Crap, what did I just do?" Sam cried, hating himself also as he sank to his bed.

_**SPN**_

It was early on Monday morning...too damn early for any human being on this side of the world.

Dean and Sam both got hardly any sleep last night, they barely even looked at each other at dinner and things only got worse and more awkward as the night went along. However Mary seemed to have forgiven Sam and she was joking and smiling with them all. John was trying to figure out what was wrong with both boys but came up with nothing, thinking back to days when his cousins used to come over, he remembered how much boys bitched so he thought Dean and Sam had just gotten into some little argument and was sure it blow over by morning.

Little did he know...

"Sammy you want breakfast?" John asked bright and early on Monday morning.

"No, not hungry."

"Sam what's up? You and Dean okay this morning?"

"Super," Sam snapped and John knew it wasn't at him.

"You kids have a falling out?"

Sam shrugged.

"What about?"

"Nothing...just about him trying to lie for me about being sick...I told him not to....I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I know what boys are like..." but when Sam said the word sick he noticed something different about his boy, something he couldn't quiet put his finger on till this morning, "you tired kiddo?" he asked when he saw the kid's dark eyes.

"Yeah..." Sam admitted, crossing his toes hoping his dad would let him stay in bed today.

"Well when you get home at 3 have a nap okay?"

His hope sunk and if it was his mother in the room asking if he was tired right now, he probably would have cried, in sheer exhaustion alone.

"But I won't be tired then."

"Have an early night then okay?"

"I'm tired now."

"Sorry bud, you need to go to school, you've missed too much already."

"But I'm caught up, I've done all the work my teachers sent me, can't you just ask them to give me some more?"

"Sam if you can work at home then you can work at school. Here, get this down you, it'll waken you up."

John placed a bowl of cereals in front of his boy along with a glass of orange juice.

'_I highly doubt it,'_ he thought glaring daggers at the back of his dad's head when he turned around to get his own breakfast.

"Morning Dean," John greeted when he saw the older boy.

"Morning," he took his seat next to Sam then looked at the kid, despite their huge blow out yesterday, Dean's face was full of concern and with one squint at Sam the silent question of if the kid was okay was asked, surprisingly Sam shook his head miserably.

"Dad can't I come to work with you and Dean?"

"Sam, for the last time, you're going to school, the sooner you realise it's not as bad as you remember then the better you'll be okay?"

Both boys really hated that they had to be separated today, and neither of them wanted to leave the other.

"Dean you looking forward to spending the day in my garage?" John asked only noticing how cheesy that question was when it left his mouth.

"Um...yeah....um...." Dean swallowed the lump of fear in his throat, he was so focused on how to apologize to Sam last night he had completely forgotten John was taking him with him to work today.

"Dean it's gonna be fine kid, all my guys are well trained, they won't bite I swear."

"Dad if Dean's scared then why can't I come? I can make sure no one-" Dean cringed at the word scared and John sighed once again.

"For the last time boys, Dean you're coming to work with me and my workers will be on their best behaviour and you're gonna have fun. Sam, stop stressing over school, it's only school, you sit there in the classroom and make notes and answer the teacher's questions, you run around with your friends then you come home. It's simple boys, just stop worrying so much over nothing okay?"

Both of them nodded, but neither of them felt better.

"When you both come home today you'll be laughing at how silly all this is."

They looked at each other, both of their faces read the same thing, _'WE doubt it!'_

Sam was dreading going to school and passing out or something stupid, and Dean was really nervous about meeting John's colleagues and having to spend the entire day with no one to talk to, he still wasn't exactly making full conversations with John and he certainly wasn't planning on making friends with any of the workers he was going to see today.

Sam cringed when he heard his mom come through the door.

"Sam, you ready to go honey?" Mary asked from the front door.

"Coming," Sam grunted, he mumbled a quick good bye to Dean then picked up his bag and made his way over to his mom who was waiting for him.

"Come on, you have all your books?"

Sam nodded, his eyes to the floor.

"Homework?"

Nod.

"Lunch?"

Another nod.

"Your tongue?"

Sam nodded, getting the joke but not having anything in him to even attempt to laugh.

"Everything will be fine sweetie."

But at this time, as he looked back at Dean biting his lip nervously as he sat eating at the kitchen table next to his dad, he really didn't want to worry selfishly about himself anymore...he really hoped Dean would be okay on his own with his dad...in fact, he was praying for it!

'_No it won't! What if Dean says the wrong thing or somebody says something stupid to him? What if they hit him cos he loses it? What if he gets upset and...what if...what if something goes wrong and he could have helped? What if Dean leaves...what if this morning was the last time he would ever see Dean again...what if the last thing he ever said to his hero was 'see you after sucky school.'? What do I do then?'_

_**SPN**_

"You worried about Sam?" John asked when he saw the look on Dean's face as Sam and his wife left.

Dean nodded then went back to poking at his toast John made for him.

"Well I know from experience that separation anxiety is kinda hard but it'll get easier."

Dean took a bite and tried to nod, mostly to be polite, he didn't believe a word of 'things will be fine' to save his life, and the worst part of it, he was worried about himself more than he would care to admit, maybe even just as much as he was worrying about Sam.

John gave Dean a quick pat on the arm then went to collect the papers he had been working on over the last few weeks he had worked from home. He was so grateful for the awesome workers he had to take care of his shop while he took a family break. He definitely owed some guys a raise this summer.

"Dean you ready to go son?" John asked as he put his boots on at the front door.

Dean nodded as he picked up his bag of school books, he was told to take them because today he wouldn't be doing much car work, unless he wanted to of course.

'_Man this is gonna be a long day...man this sucks so much ass...'_

_**TBC...**_

**With their huge fight...now you get the sorry?**

**Here it is again: SORRY!!!**

**I'm also dying to write but I ended up going to bed at like half 4 this morning accidentally (didn't look at my clock till it read 3am then somehow time just vanished and it was 4am...) and for some insane reason I woke up at 9:30!!! My head doesn't belong to my body right now, I can't sleep and I feel really weird and not good weird! Anyone have any wise kind words to help me write? *puppy eyes***


	21. Willing to learn

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Willing to learn**

"Alright Dean, this is my office, feel free to make yourself at home. Oh, and can you do me a favour?" John asked as he set his files down on his desk and his coat on the back of his chair. Dean nodded after a few seconds. "Keep a tight lip on the mess, if Mary saw this crap hole she'd kill me, then bring me back to life just to make me clean up in here."

"Yes sir," Dean whispered, he could do that, he was good at following orders.

"And Dean kiddo?" Dean lifted his head confirming to John he was listening. "Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but could you call me John? I'm not saying it has to be Uncle Johnny or anything but...sir and Mr. Winchester make me sound so old."

"Yes sir," Dean flinched at the word uncle then immediately nodded when the request was laid out to him, only to realise what he had just said so he lowered his head in frustration.

John saw the look on the kid's face so he walked over, put his finger under the boy's chin and made him look up.

"You wanna talk to me buddy?" he asked with a concerned smile.

"No s-, I mean, _John_," he forced like it required strength to say the informal name, which it really was after all these years of referring to people as ma'am and sir and Mr. and Mrs.!

"That dick made you call him sir huh?"

Dean swallowed the panic when he thought of the man, then nodded.

"Well, he's outa the picture, so you don't have to worry about anything like that anymore okay? Just take your time. Give yourself a little credit Dean, you're doing great," John patted the boy on the back then went back to his desk to sort out a few things before the rest of his crew arrived at 9am.

Dean set his bag down when he started to feel uncomfortable standing in the middle of the room doing nothing and had a silent stroll around the room and smirked when his eyes caught some drawings.

"Sammy drew those when he was little, always made me promise to hang up them up somewhere special, I think he lost interest in making a mess with paints when he was about 8, I should get him to make me some more," John said casually making small talk, knowing all the while it was going to be one sided, didn't hurt to try though right? "You an artist Dean?"

Dean shook his head and let out a snort.

"I take it you're as good as me at drawing huh?" Dean could tell by that tone John was making a joke at how bad he was at art things so Dean nodded a yes, he couldn't draw to save his life! "So what do you think you wanna do today?"

Dean shrugged, math or science? Or history or geography? Or maybe some English and literature? Fun, fun, fun fun fun! He would much rather have gym today...where was the punching bag when he needed it?

"I tell you what, you do a couple of hours of work and then you can take break and I'll show you round my shop?"

"Okay," Dean nodded, but he really couldn't be bothered to do work today, in fact he never can but it seems Sam is always the one who motivates him and pushes him into trying again when he gets something wrong.

"Yo, the boss's back!" he heard someone yell, and they seemed rather happy about it.

"That's Jack, don't worry he's just like a really big happy annoying puppy."

"Hey, talking about me behind my back? And dude, I'm a puppy?" Jack asked sticking his head around John's office door.

"Well I've called you worse," John smirked.

"True." Jack leaned on the door frame then looked down, only then noticing Dean, "you must be the new kid?"

Dean nodded, his face blank to Jack, almost confused but John read the kid loud and clear, he knew Dean was probably about as uncomfortable as he could get right now.

"Dean Jack, Jack Dean," he introduced quickly hoping his guy would get to work and leave Dean alone.

"Well nice meeting you Dean, good to have you back sir," Jack shook both their hands and Dean looked back at John confused as Jack left.

"I'm his boss, he's meant to call me sir, it's a totally different thing."

"Okay," Dean nodded, it was weird but okay.

"Before I go, I better tell you about the fire stuff, ah....the door here is fire proof so if there does happen to be an accident then go outside and across the road to the bakery where the meeting line is, if you don't see me then my other guys will run there too look after you okay?"

"I take it that's code for, 'if I don't make it out in an accident, someone else will be there to make sure you don't do anything stupid.'?"

"The 'if I don't make it out' part yeah, the 'stupid' part no, I'm trusting you Dean, I know you'll be good if I leave you alone, fire or not," John squeezed the kid's shoulder and after a few awkward moments he spoke again, "so why don't you get seated at my desk and I'll see you in an hour or two for our coffee break?"

"Okay...thanks, _John_."

John nodded a 'you're welcome,' then left.

"Eeny meeny miny mo, which stupid subject should I do first?" he asked himself as he sat down in a huff. "Okay, like Sam says, being an ass about it isn't going to get it done any faster...so I might as well just get on with it."

John smiled at the kid talking to himself, it was good to hear Sam was making a positive influence on Dean, and hopefully visa versa.

_**SPN**_

"Have a good day honey."

"Yeah, I will..." Sam mumbled sarcastically as he stepped out of the car with his heavy bag.

Mary shook her head and watched her son drag himself up the steps, she smiled when he got a few waves but was sadly let down when she saw Sam didn't wave back.

She pulled away and onto work, wishing her son a good day to herself once again, and tonight he was going to bed at a reasonable time whether he liked it or not.

"Hey Sam, you're back! Hey we got this new teacher and man he's awesome!" Jordon cheered as he walked alongside his friend.

"Yeah, awesome."

"What's Dean doing now?" the hyper little kid asked, not picking up on Sam's mood.

"He went to work with my dad, he can't come to school yet."

"How come?"

"I don't know...something about paper work from his other school hasn't come in yet."

"Oh, well when he does, you think he'll sit with us at lunch?"

"I don't know...he'll be at the high school, so I doubt it."

"Hey have you heard about that guy on the news? That uncle freak who beat up his nephew?"

"No," Sam answered quickly, not in the mood for any news today.

"Really? Isn't your dad like best friends with the guy who shot him dead?"

"Yeah but they don't tell me much, I'm just a kid."

"Yeah, so am I, but I still watch the news."

"Well then you're just lame."

"Hey, that's mean..."

"Hey! Winchester!!" somebody called and Sam hoped he could skip past the older kid calling his name but when he was stopped by 3 huge dudes in his path he stopped. "I wondered where you'd gotten to these last few weeks. Where's your freak of a body guard?"

"Dean's not a freak! Just leave me alone."

"Or what? Dean gonna come and teach me a lesson?"

"If you don't leave me alone, yeah...expect your ass to be royally kicked," Sam snapped having enough of the jerks in his path. He grunted when he was pushed into the dirt but recovered quickly and pushed past them running fast enough that they couldn't follow but slow enough that it didn't look like he was running from them.

He ran to his desk and sat his bag down with a thump, other kids looked at him then laughed a little and scurried away after having a good giggle at his expense and his dirt coated knees.

'_I hate school...'_

_**SPN**_

"Probabilities, well these sound fun," Dean mumbled to himself then started to read, "the probability of an outcome equals the number of ways the outcome can happen divided by the total number of possible outcomes. Oh my god kill me now..." he groaned sinking his head to the desk in misery, "where's Sam when you need him?"

"Sorry kid I was just coming back for-, hey you're Dean right?" someone covered in grease asked. "Man, John has talked a lot about you kid. I mean that in a good way, he's always talking about Sam and Mary," he said without thinking, Dean seemed to have a look on his face that was a combination of embarrassment and annoyance and he really didn't want to screw up his first meeting with the new son. "So what are you working on there? Ooh math, looks fun. John still keeping you on lock down then?" he asked thinking the reason for Dean being alone in the back office was for punishment.

"Cal what the hell is taking you so long?" John asked with his boss voice on as he entered the room.

"Oh, sorry boss I was just talking to Dean, I'll get back to work."

"Dean you okay kid?" John asked when he saw the look of unease on the kid's face when Cal left.

Dean pulled a face at his work telling John he needed help.

"You stuck or you wanna go home?"

'_Now would be a really good time to talk Dean, you know...that thing where your lips move and words come out...' _Dean snapped at himself.

"Dean?"

"Stuck....Sam....Sam usually helps me but he's not here."

"Oh, well then maybe I can help, it's my break time anyway. So what are you working on here?" John pulled up his spare chair and set himself down next to Dean leaning over the work covered in papers. "Probability, oh that's easy."

Dean's face went south and he felt like someone kicked him in the stomach, just when he thought John was a nice guy willing to help him.

John got out a coin from his pocket and set it on the desk."I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just mean when you understand it, it's easy...look, if I take this coin and flip it in the air 100 times, in percentages how likely is it gonna be heads?"

"...7?" Dean asked not understanding.

"Not quite, okay a coin has how many sides?"

"2."

"So, you need to work out how many 2's are in your 100 flips."

"Uh...2....4....uhh...."

"Okay, hang on, if you count up from 2 to 100 you're gonna be here forever...right, what is half of 100?"

"....50?"

"Awesome!"

"That's it?" Dean asked surprised it was so fast.

"Yeah, not so complicated when you take a few short cuts and explain it in English, not mumbo jumbo, I tell ya, some kids understand this?" John asked sceptically looking at the wording of the supposed 'kid' book.

Once they were done with that, Dean was told he needed to work it out into fractions then round it down, which was something he found relatively easy because Sam helped him just the other week with fractions, John was amazed at Dean and Sam because with the lack of teaching Dean had and the level Sam was meant to be at in his class, neither of them should technically know about fractions and be able to do them so easily.

"1/2," Dean said confidently.

"Wow, Sam taught you well, I'm impressed kiddo."

Dean smiled a little and turned red.

John knew he was meant to be working but he really didn't care, besides its not like he could teach Dean the simplest example then take off when the numbers got complicated.

"See, you get it now?"

"Yeah...thanks."

"Right...what's the first question?"

"Ah...if you have a bag of 35 balls, 10 of them are red, 5 of them are blue and 5 of them are yellow and all the others are green, what is the probability you pick out a green ball."

Dean turned three sheets whiter at the insane question and looked like he wanted to stick the pencil in his eye.

"Okay, okay don't panic..." John soothed knowing even he was confused by that...that was a long way from heads or tails. "Right, let's go find some balls huh?" John said standing from his chair and motioning for Dean to follow him. "Ladies listen up, anyone got any....green, blue, red and yellow balls?"

"Huh?" all of them asked.

"Stickers? Straws? Anything in those colors?"

"Why don't you try a bag of peanut M&M's from the kitchen? There's a giant party bag I think."

"Alright, thanks guys, good work," he praised then motioned Dean to follow him to the kitchen.

"I know this isn't much of a kitchen but it has a kettle and tap, and...ahah! Peanut M&M's," he cheered when he found them in the top cabinet. "Let's just hope there's 35 of the right colors we need in here."

_**SPN**_

"Ah, you in the blue hooded sweatshirt, what's your name?"

"Sam, ppsst!" Jordon hissed getting his friend's attention.

"Huh...wha?" Sam asked half asleep at his desk.

"I asked what your name was."

"Oh...Sam, I'm Sam Winchester."

"Well Sam, next time I call out your name I expect you to be paying attention."

"Yes sir," Sam grumbled with his chin resting on his arms.

"Okay, so anybody else, looking at the story can you tell me how many hobbies it says Randie has?"

"5."

"No, it's 6, he swims as well."

'_God this is so boring....I've already done this work sheet and the other 5 last week...why am I even sitting here just so I can do it all again? I should have stayed home!'_

"Sam? Sam I'm talking to you," the teacher said with his hands on his hips waiting for the dazed boy to respond.

"I don't know okay! Just leave me the hell alone!"

"Young man I think you better step outside."

"Whatever," Sam mumbled standing from his desk to leave the room as other kids were 'oohing' at him.

_**SPN**_

"Alright...now we've eaten all the M&M's...this all your math questions for the day?"

"Uh yeah, but I got science and English and history and literature and-"

"_Okay_, I think 2 subjects is enough for one day son."

"Why?"

"Sam only does 3 subjects at most in a day, that's all you do in school, you don't have to do all this work in one day kiddo, this is enough for a week's worth of lessons," John told the kid looking at all the books, he thought Dean brought them all because he couldn't choose which subject to have a go at, not because he was doing them _all_ today.

"Oh..." Dean mumbled, he didn't know...he thought this is just what kids do at school now.

"Let's go for lunch huh? I'm sure you need a break, I know I do."

"Okay...thanks for the help...I get probabilities now, thanks to the M&M's."

"We'll get more of those in then," John smirked, happy the kid seemed to be loosening up now. "Oh, you mind doing me a favour in the shop before we go?"

"...what?" Dean asked walking with the man into the front of the shop that was littered with car scraps.

They walked into the shop and casually listened in on the conversation the workers were having...but John immediately regretted it when he heard the topic of the day...

"Hey have you been watching the news, about that guy that beat up his kid? Or his nephew but...same thing if you ask me."

"Jeez that guy sounds like such an tool."

"I would never lay a hand on my kid, how the hell could he do it? And where were the kid's parents?"

"Oh come on, my son got out of hand a few times when he was growing up, the news always makes it sound worse for ratings, I bet the kid was just a real trouble maker. If he's not right now he will be..."

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!"

"Oh shit...."

_**TBC...**_


	22. Nobody said it was easy,

**Okay, I want to apologize for not replying to my reviews like I should, I appreciate every lovely comment and I feel awful for not replying with as much love. **

**Long story short, I've been under the whether all week. I went to the doctors yesterday and poof! How typical, I felt fine!!! She tells me I probably HAD a slight virus. Today I wake up and feel ICKY!!! My throat hurts like a mother, and my brain is coming out of my ears I'm sure!!! So I'm going to drag myself to college for Law, pray I don't pass out over my desk like I almost did Tuesday then I'm going home to bed. **

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard**

"Oh come on, my son got out of hand a few times when he was growing up, the news always makes it sound worse for ratings, I bet the kid was just a real trouble maker. If he's not right now he will be..."

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" Dean launched himself at the group of workers and one in particular holding the grease rag.

"Oh shit...." John cursed, he had felt and even been under Dean's angry wrath before and damn, it wasn't pleasant! He reached out fast and grabbed Dean round the waist, pulling him back. It was hard though, with the combination of Dean's strength and rage and not to mention his healed body it was difficult to keep him restrained as the others backed up in shock."Whoa, whoa Dean, Dean calm down kid, Dean listen to me, Dean STOP IT!" John had to yell as the kid struggled to get free, gunning for the man who had accidentally upset him.

"You son a bitch! I swear I'm gonna kill you!!"

"Little help here!" John shouted at his men that hadn't been involved in the conversation that set Dean off. Cal and Jack came forward and tried to help control Dean before he did something he would regret.

"What the...?" Matt Fisher asked as he moved forward to help the others only to be pulled back himself.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you!! I'm not a fucking trouble maker!! You don't even know, you asshole!! I'm nothing like him!! You son of a bitch!!"

"Dean, Dean don't! We've talked about this, Dean!!" John yelled as he growled like a vicious wild animal trapped in a tight cage.

Things were flying and people were too caught up to even duck, everything was moving in slow motion but it was happening so fast...

"I wouldn't do that man," Jack warned Fisher once again when he tried to speak as John was finally able to haul Dean back into his office.

"Guys take a break," John ordered from his place at the office doorway, he still held onto Dean, scared of what the kid would do if he let go.

"Boss we were just-"

"I said take a damn break!" John yelled before he slammed the door leaving 5 very shocked and confused workers to tidy the mess Dean had caused in his rage.

"I guess we should cleanup..."

"I'll get the mop," Fisher said when he saw the puddle of oil seeping on the floor.

"Damn...so that kid is..." Cal said putting it all together.

"Seems like...man what the hell did I just say...?"

_**SPN**_

Back in the office Dean had calmed down to a point where he was just trying to decide whether to toss a few things or cry in pure shame, a real trouble maker? That was the one thing he was afraid of, he didn't want to be a trouble maker, hell he tried his whole life to be anything but! He tried to convince his uncle of that for years and now because of him, he was going to be labelled the trouble maker of the town.

John was standing at his door, mostly for guard purposes and after a few minutes he knew he had to help the kid I front of him.

"Dean, could you stop pacing kid? You're gonna wear a hole in my floor."

Dean stopped, only because he was told to, not because he wanted to.

"Dean, look at me, you are not a trouble maker, and you won't be, we've talked about this remember?"

"Everyone thinks I will be! What makes you so different?!"

"Because I know you," John answered simply, he knew that was supposed to be a trick question and he wasn't falling for it. "Sam trusts you with his life, and right now that's all I need."

"Why can't you just be like everyone else? Why does this have to be so fucking confusing?! One minute everyone thinks I'm this selfish brat and the next you think you know me so well!"

John walked to the boy and put his hands on his shoulders.

"I know Dean, nobody said it would be easy."

"No one ever said it would be this hard either!"

"I know, but it will be okay. Just take a few minutes to calm yourself down okay?" his right hand dropped and his left went up to cup the back of Dean's neck. The kid took a few seconds before he leaned into the comfort and closed his eyes to stop the sting of tears.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be," John said, waving him off, but the look on Dean's face told him there was still something on his mind, "what is it?"

"T-they all know who I am...I thought I could bury that with him."

"Well...everyone has a past, god I should know..."

'_Man I hate this...I knew enjoying the fishing trip was a bad idea, here is my payback then!'_

Dean resisted the urge to pace once more and thanked the lord when John spoke again.

"Alright, I think we better-"

"John?! Cal just told me Dean had an accident! What happened?! Are you okay?!"

"Mary? What are you doing here?" John asked his wife who quickly went over to Dean and checked him over, cupping his cheek and checking if he was okay, not only physically.

"My shift ended early so I came to give you your lunch that you forgot," she said still distracted by Dean's shaking.

"I didn't forget it," John said frowning.

"Okay fine I came to see how Dean was, is that so bad?" she asked.

"What are you trying to say? We're fine Mary."

"Yeah that's why the garage is a mess and Dean has a huge bruise on his side," she said showing John what she found, the bruise was swelling already and it looked like he had been nipped harshly by a hand wrapped round his ribs.

Dean was turning red under the scrutiny and tried to cover up the throbbing mark by rolling his top back down after he got out from Mary's grasp.

"How did this happen?" she asked Dean and when he made no effort to answer she looked at John.

"We came out of the office and overheard Fisher and the guys having a conversation about the abuse case on the news and...well it's not hard to figure out the rest."

"Dean, are you okay sweetie?"

Dean nodded, looking to the ground embarrassed by all the attention; it seemed 'trouble maker' fitted right now.

"Dean your arm is bleeding," Mary said, taking his right into her hands. She rolled up his sleeve and found a cut worthy of a few stitches on the inside of his wrist.

John moved fast and took out his first aid box, he handed a square pad to Mary and she applied pressure to the cut slowly seeping blood.

"I'm taking him to the local clinic, he's not coming back here again, he can come to work with me if he has to," Mary told her husband as she went out with a very red and embarrassed Dean, thankfully she went out the fire door in the back to save him from any further conflicts with the men on the other side of the door.

_**SPN**_

"Guys, listen up," John said coming out of his office, he was a little worried about the mess there would be but thankfully the place was cleaner than he had seen it first thing.

"John we-"

John looked up at them and his expression was clear, he would be doing the talking unless he said otherwise.

"I told you guys Dean was my foster son....but Dean is..._the_ Dean as in I'm sure you've worked it out by now, nephew of that dick on the news the other day."

"Boss we didn't know-"

"I didn't say you did, what I am saying is...Dean _is_ my foster son and no...all the crap on the news _isn't_ exaggerated, it _isn't_ a story that's made to sound more horrific for ratings...it's all true. But that is all you need and all you're going to know unless Dean says otherwise, got it?"

"Yes sir, we're sorry for..."

"It was me, I was the one mouthing off about him being a trouble maker, I didn't think...if he wants to come out here and tear me a new one I deserve it boss."

"That won't be necessary, he's left with Mary."

"Is he okay?"

"No, but...don't worry about it, I've said some stupid things in the last few months about that kid...even after I did know so...let's just pretend it didn't happen if he ever comes here again...if Mary lets him."

"I'm sorry John..."

John nodded, cleared his throat then mumbled something about getting back to work and they all did. He himself went back in his office to call Mary, he hoped the kid was okay.

"Mary it's me...your phones off so I'm guessing you're already in the clinic...I'm sorry about Dean, call me when you know he's okay...love you babe, bye."

_**SPN**_

"Sam, the principal is ready to see you now."

Sam huffed then stood from the creaking chair and turned beat red as he shuffled his feet into the principal's office.

"Mr. Winchester please take a seat."

Sam sat down quietly and refused to look up, scared of what the old man might do, he had never been in here before.

"Sam I understand from Mr. Cox you have been difficult today in class."

Sam shook his head, scared to speak up.

"Sam we know about the time you had off in the last few months and we are sympathising with your recent situation. But as I look back at your record it seems you are a straight A, 100% attendance student until your parents fostered Dean. It seems to me he might be the one being the bad influence on you."

Sam mumbled something and was asked to repeat it when the principal didn't understand.

"Dean isn't a bad influence, he's my friend."

"Is your friend teaching you to do things you shouldn't be, like talking back?"

"No, Dean always tells me he thinks it's cool to be smart and stuff. I'm the one teaching him."

"Teaching him what exactly?"

"School stuff, sometimes Dean finds it hard so I help him...that's why I got mad today."

"Care to explain Sam?"

"I wasn't being difficult, he was just doing work I've already done when I was off and I just tried to tell him I'd already done it. I guess I just got frustrated that we had to do stuff I'd already done."

"So you would have been happy if he set you something else to do while the others did the work?"

"Yes sir."

"Okay, but that's not what I was told, your teacher said you shouted out in the middle of his class and I quote, "I don't know okay. Just leave me the hell alone." Now can you tell me at which point were you trying to tell him you already knew it? Because it seems to me you don't know it."

"I'm just tired...I wasn't trying to be rude, I'm just really tired."

The older man could see the student before him was looking exhausted, maybe he just spent too long on the computer or playing video games the night before and didn't get enough sleep which resulted in a very snappy pupil.

"Okay Sam I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time and I expect you to gave a full apology to Mr. Cox."

"Yes sir."

Just then Mr. Cox entered the office and Sam sunk into his chair even more, great, 2 on 1, this was going to be fun.

Before he could get another lecture he thought he should say sorry, his mom might kill him if she heard he was in the principal's office for talking back.

"Mr. Cox I'm sorry I spoke out of turn, it won't happen again."

"It better not young man."

"Sam do you have the work with you?" the principal asked.

"Yeah...it's in my bag," Sam said getting out all his work sheets from the past few weeks he was sent home.

"Mr. Cox, Sam has explained he already did the work you have been setting and if this work here is correct I suggest you set something different until the others catch up."

Mr. Cox nodded, taking the huge bundle of paper from Sam and he had to admit he was surprised, he thought Sam was one of _those_ kids.

"It's the end of school now so do you plan on catching the bus?"

"No, my mom's picking me up," Sam told the principal.

"The next time I see you Sam I expect it to be under different circumstances, and get some sleep tonight, no more video games till 12am."

'_If only you knew jackass.'_

"Thanks, sorry...bye," he mumbled then left quietly.

_**SPN**_

"He's fine, just a minor cut and a few bruises. We'll get him taped up and you guys can go home."

"Thank you."

"So, how did this happen?"

"Dean got upset and there are some dangerous tools in a garage...I'm not really sure, my husband was the one looking after him at the time..."

If this was anybody else he wouldn't trust them with such a vague story, but this was Mary and John, they had been regulars in the clinic since they were little babies, Dr. Marsden know them too well not to trust them, and with the story about Dean being an ex-abuse case he knew kids like that can get upset and go wild.

"Okay Dean, I don't think this cut is deep enough for stitches so I'm just going to stick you back together with a few butterfly tapes and tell you to keep it clean and covered up so it can heal better."

Dean didn't even have the patience or the dignity left to nod or acknowledge the doctor, so much for this day being easy.

"I would tell you to ice your bruises but I assume you're already a pro."

'_Does this jackass want me to hit him?'_

"Okay, I'm sorry if this stings," the doc said, dabbing Dean's cut with a little antibiotic cream before sticking 3 butterfly band aids down neatly. "Is he okay?" he whispered to Mary when he got no response at all.

"Dean are you okay?" Mary asked, running her hand through Dean's cropped hair. The comfort was brushed off and Dean then went back to sitting motionless.

"Alright, you're all set, you can go home champ," the doc patted Dean on his leg and flinched when Dean did. He looked over at Mary asking what was wrong with Dean but she just gave him a look that told him A: back off! And B: it's a long story.

"Come on honey, let's go pick Sam up from school, we're a little late actually," she winced when she saw the time.

Dean scoffed at the woman, angry she seemed to care more about him than Sam!

He quickly left the doctors room and went to the car signalling he just wanted to see Sam.

"Alright, I'm coming sweetie."

_**SPN**_

"About time," Sam whined to himself when he saw his mother pull up, but the annoyance and misery of the day soon washed away and was replaced by worry for Dean when he saw him looking not so good in the back seat. "Hey Dean...how was your day?"

The look on Dean's face told Sam all he needed...all the evidence he required to prove his theory, the one that everyone thought he was crazy to come up with not hour ago...he had gone to school, Dean had been to his dad's work...they had spent all of 6 hours in separate buildings without the other to lean on and have support from, and they had both had one hell of a hell-ish day!

'_I knew this would happen!!' _

_**TBC...**_

**So...reviews? I promise to not reply until I have the time to do it right this chapter!**


	23. All that you can’t leave behind

**Thank you guys soooo much for all the love and support, I am truly speechless and in awe of how lovely you guys are!!!! **

**I know I've been a bit of a drama queen lately (let's not mention any of **_**THAT**_** in the reviews *puppy eye attempt* It's been deleted from the previous chapter as you can see. You know what I'm talking about.)**

**So I thought I owed you guys another chapter ASAP for all the confusion.**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**All that you can't leave behind**

When they got back to the house Sam was pissed, he wasn't speaking to his mom and he didn't plan on making small talk with Dean because he looked _bad_, and he wasn't talking about Dean being a little pale.

They went in the house together and Sam followed Dean to the garage, he knew it had to have been a bad day if he still, at this time in the day, had the energy to beat 7 bells out of the punching bag.

Mary tried to discourage Dean from the activity today, just this once she pleaded without giving away why to Sam, but Dean was having none of it. He ignored every quiet plea and went straight to put his boxing gloves on.

"I got into trouble for talking back today," Sam said when they were alone and Mary had given up on trying to get them back in the house.

Dean didn't ask why, his face showed the question in itself.

"I guess I got cranky with my teacher and snapped back, he kept nagging at me to answer this stupid question a monkey could do. At least I didn't pass out though."

"Yeah. At. Least."

Just then Dean accidentally pushed his annoying sleeves up and revealed the patch of white sticky bandage.

"Dean how did you get that?"

"Just. Lost. It. again. Today!" Dean yelled, his speech breaking every time he punched the bag.

"I told you," Sam scoffed under his breath.

"What?!" Dean asked, louder than intended but it seemed the adrenalin was making him shout.

"I told you something like this would happen! God this sucks! Okay that's it, I'm never going to go to school ever again! Next time you go with my dad I'm coming."

Noticing the boy was upset, Dean stopped and held the bag so it wouldn't hit him in the face as the swinging of the chain slowed down.

"What are you, my mother? I don't need a sitter Sam, chances are I would have lost it if you were there or not, and you might have gotten hurt...I keep getting every damn person I care about hurt and I won't do it again...I can't...this is why I have to leave."

"So what? This is why you try to be a jerk to everyone? Cos you don't wanna let yourself care about people in case they get hurt?" Sam asked, slightly shocked but mostly appalled at Dean's outlook on life.

"Do you have to be so damn smart all the time? Why can't you be a regular 10 year old? Most adults can't figure me out and you do it within of 2 seconds..." Dean moaned, and he wasn't trying to give Sam a compliment.

"Well do you have to be so dumb? And I'm not talking about school and you know it!"

"Shut up would you? God just shut up! You don't know me so stop trying to act like you do!"

"But I do know you! You just admitted it yourself just then! God why do you have to be such a douche? News flash Dean! I care about you asshole!"

"Yeah well surprise! So did my parents! And look where it got them..."

"I'm sorry about your parents Dean, and I'm sorry for what I said the other day...I don't mean for this to come off sounding wrong...but, do you really think they would want you to live like that? Turn yourself into some asshole who couldn't care less about his life or anyone else's? Look where it got your uncle...you always say you don't wanna be like him but what you're doing right now is only turning you into some cold bastard like him, he's not worth it Dean, you're better than he is."

".......anyone ever tell you that you're pretty smart for a 10 year old?" Dean asked, and finally Sam knew _that_ was a compliment.

"Yeah well...I just know you I guess."

Dean nodded, mumbled a quick joke then went back to his punching, Sam was watching him this time for real and didn't look like he was waiting for something, he looked like he was happily observing.

At first Dean tried not to show off but he soon got bored and started pounding on the leather like there was no tomorrow, sometimes he pictured his uncle's head right there in front of him and sometimes he even pictured his own self being beaten and shown a lesson or two by none other than himself. It was wrong yes, he would never tell anyone about it but it seemed to be helping, imagining himself beating the crap out of himself, that's some anger management on crack right there!

It was half an hour later when Dean felt the adrenalin run out and he took his gloves off and turned to Sam, the boy was so silent he thought he had left but nope, there he was, and the sight was pretty sweet actually.

"Guess you _can_ sleep anywhere huh?" he whispered to the snoring kid, kneeling down next to the old dusty couch Sam was laid across. It hadn't been there the first week they got back home, Dean had just figured Mary of John put it there so he could sit down after a round or two, or something sissy like that. But then he realised it was meant for Sam all along.

He contemplated on moving Sam to his bed, it wouldn't be hard, the kid was 2 stone wet through but he didn't want to risk waking him, this was the first real sleep Sam had gotten in days. He also really didn't want to leave the kid alone in some dark garage, so he took the blanket from the couch arm and laid it over the boy then got himself comfortable. He lifted the kid's feet and laid them over his lap then closed his eyes trying to remember the last time he had slept this well.

_**SPN**_

"DDEEEAAANNNN!!!!"

Dean jolted awake and didn't even have time to let his panic rise before someone leapt on him. He flinched hard and feared someone was attacking, but when the blur of sleep lifted he realised it was Sam. The kid was shaking, his emotions were out of control and it seemed that he couldn't even breathe.

"Sam, Sam what's wrong?" he rushed wrapping his arms round the sobbing mess buried in his chest.

He was about to ask again, plea for Sam to talk to him, or at least to breathe when Mary came bursting through the garage door.

'_Guess that kid can scream louder than me.'_

"Sammy, baby what's wrong? Sammy?" Mary asked, kneeling down next to the couch trying to pry Sam off Dean but neither boys were willing to comply.

Sam's wails were getting louder and Dean's eyes were also stinging with tears having to listen to the painful cries and not knowing how the hell to fix it.

"Sammy are you hurt? Sammy come on talk to me honey, Sam!" Mary was also having trouble knowing what to do, Sam had never screamed like that and it was terrifying to not be able to separate the boys so she could see if Sam was hurt or not.

"He had a nightmare," Dean told her as he rubbed a hand down Sam's shivering back.

"What?" Mary asked, mostly because it was confusing.

"He had a damn nightmare!!" Dean nearly cried, holding on to Sam tightvery protectively. Knowing he couldn't even think right now he made a conscious decision and knew he needed to get Sam out of this room. He hooked his arm under Sam's knees, wrapped his other securely round Sam's back and was out of the room with the kid before Mary could ask any further questions.

The mother was left standing in the garage alone, torn between giving Sam and Dean time to heal each other and running up the steps and coddling her baby till he stopped crying. It hurt to think they were better off seeing to each other alone right now.

Dean went upstairs hoping Sam was willing to stay still where he was and not be the stubborn 'I'm not a kid,' while he got him to his room, carrying a fidgeting boy up the stairs wasn't exactly safe.

Thankfully Sam stayed gripping Dean's shirt even when he was placed on his bed. It was a relief but also a worry because Sam was one strong kid and he had never acted like this before.

"Sam, come on calm down, I gotcha...come on Sam."

"D-D-De-ee..." was all Sam could get out in the midst of all the cries.

"I'm right here...just calm down _please_...you need to breathe Sam or you're gonna hyperventilate...Sam I'm serious, please for the love of God just listen to me for once and stop panicking!" Dean yelled, he was sure he wasn't helping but he had never had to do this for anyone before and he had no clue what to do!

"D-Dee'ea'nn!" Sam cried not knowing how to, his tone begging Dean to help him.

"Okay, okay...just...just breathe...in and out," he grabbed Sam's hand and pressed it against his chest, his heart rate was through the roof because of the little kid but at least his breathing might be able to provide a guide for Sam. "You feel that, just like me okay...come on Sammy please..."

It took some coaching and a lot of 'you will be fine, just calm down, I'm right here's' but eventually Sam's colouring went back to normal. Dean thought the kid might pull back when he composed himself and realised he was holding on for dear life but Sam didn't, his breathing was normal, his cheeks were pink and yet he still kept his fist tight around Dean's shirt.

"What was that all about?" Dean asked demanding an explanation.

"Noth-"

"If you say nothing I am going to punch that bag so hard it'll be coming through your floor! Just talk to me Sam, you are not fine, at least be man enough to admit that, you are not fine!"

"Dean I don't wanna," Sam wailed close to tears again.

"Sam, please I'm begging you, please just talk to me. If you tell me one thing about your nightmares I'll tell you everything that happened to my parents," Dean begged, caving for the kid, he didn't know what else to do, he had tried everything else he could come up with and got jack squat every time.

Sam was shocked, Dean was willing to tell him about his parents just so he would talk about his nightmares. Dean had never done anything like that before.

"Y-you died..." Sam whispered hanging his head low.

"I wha...that's it? I died? Sam I can't tell you how many times I've had nightmares about-"

"No...you died..._he_ killed you...he never touched me, because you promised him he could hurt you as much as he wants as long as he left me alone, he did but every time he makes me watch...he makes me hol-hold...h-ho...."

"Okay Sam, in and out...it's okay...you're okay..."

"I-I don't care...'bout me....he killed you! He ma-, he made me..."

"Ssshhh it's okay, it's okay, just talk to me..."

"H-he makes me...he handed me your...big knife and he...." Sam forced himself to calm down as Dean rubbed a hand up and down his back. He let more tears slip out, waited till he got control of his voice again then spoke, "he k-kills you, shoots you, stabs you, whips you...burns you alive...then he cuts your heart out and he makes me hold it."

Dean pulled a face, thinking Sam was so scared because that was so disgusting, how wrong he was...

"It was broken...I didn't care it was gross...I didn't care why he was handing it to me...all I could see was how broke your heart was...I wanted to help you fix it but you were dead so I couldn't anymore...you were dead before I could even try and help you fix it..."

"Sam, listen to me, and I want you to listen good cos I'm only saying this once...mostly to save myself from any more embarrassment. I am fine, I'm perfectly okay. I swear to you I'm better than I've been in a long time and it's all cos you wouldn't give up on me. You are the first one in 7 years to show me any kind compassion or concern...hell you're the first person to even see me. You did that and you're just a little kid...I owe you my life Sam, so please stop with the guilt trip thing. My heart ain't broken...not anymore...and I'm forever grateful for that Sam. So next time you have a nightmare you tell that son of a bitch my heart is just fine and he's got it wrong."

"O-okay," Sam nodded wiping his sleeve under his nose.

"You double promise? Cos if not I'm gonna keep talking like a total girl until you cave."

"Yeah...I double promise...jerk."

"Bitch," Dean joked back, a smirk growing in his face to match Sam's. "Can I tell you a secret and you swear not to make a big deal about it?"

"Yeah, pinky swear."

"I think I would be dead right now if I hadn't have come here."

Sam's eyes widened to saucers and to lower the tension in the room Dean laid back against Sam's headboard and made himself comfortable. Sam then did the same and if you couldn't hear the words you would have sworn it was just two boys chatting about football.

"I think if he hadn't have beaten me to death by now I would have jumped off a ledge or something. So don't sell yourself short, thanks to you I'm not in that place anymore...it's nice to know there are things to live for and look forward to."

"So you never looked forward to anything? Not even like...being glad when you kill that thing that got your mom and dad?"

"Well yeah but...I always knew the only way I could find it would be in the company of my uncle, and when it was dead I dunno, I kinda secretly hoped we never found it cos then maybe he wouldn't have anything else to vent his rage out on but me. And I swore a long time ago that I would kill myself before he did."

"So what stopped you doing it years ago if you never had anything to look forward to?"

"Mostly? Fear that my parents would have been disappointed in me if I just gave up."

"So you must have really loved them huh?" Sam asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, really..." Dean nodded biting his lip.

"So...what happened to them? I mean...how did they...was it just your uncle that got into this stuff with you after they died?"

"No, my dad was a hunter, his dad was too, my mom used to waitress in this bar for hunters, my grandpa used to be a hunter and my grandma ran the bar. So my mom already knew about the stuff from the people she grew up around. She met my dad when he came in for a beer one night and long story short, they got married and had me."

"Was your dad still a hunter when they had you?"

"Yeah, it's not really a job you can quit but he always said I was going to be a lawyer or fireman or something, he gave me this huge talk one night when I was like 6 and said the business ends with him. He made it back to us whenever he could, he called every day, sometimes he drove all day just to be back in time to read me a bed time story. Sometimes if I begged enough, on interviews he took me and my mom along."

"How come you remember so much?"

"Well, it's hard to think I might one day forget what they looked like, what things we did together...so I go over everything I remember about them every day and make sure I hang onto the good stuff. Someday maybe they'll be clearer than the bad stuff I'm trying to forget."

"So...how does your uncle fit in it?"

"Well, being a man in the family on my mom's side...he grew up to be a hunter, apparently he took off with my grandpa on a hunt one day and they never really came back unless he wanted something. Like that night..."

"What happened?" Sam asked lightly, hoping he was helping Dean and not pushing him over the edge.

"This one random night, we went to visit my grandma at the bar...when we got there Ron turned up. With an apparent 'ghost' on his ass, said it just got my grandpa and he didn't know where else to go. My mom told him she would help, so he thanked her then left. Then the next thing I know I'm waking up to my mom screaming, I ran out into the front there was my grandma on the floor dead...and then I walked a little further around the bar and there was my dad...there was so much blood but he was still warm...and then my mom yanked me to the back...I don't know how but...she pushed me out the door and said..."

"_Take this baby, look after it for mommy. When I see you again, you give it back to me okay?"_

"_Mommy, I don't wanna! Please mommy, promise to come back!"_

"_Dean, sweetie, I will always come back, always baby, now look after this, and run! RUN DEAN!"_

"It wasn't a ghost...it was a demon...evil sons of bitches that don't want anything but death and destruction for pleasure. I thought I could trust my uncle, I thought that he might know what to do. But I was too late...and when I found his room I told him he had to save them...we ran back and it was just nothing but flames and ash. He turned to me and hit me so hard I thought it was a dream, I thought there is no way my parents would let anyone hurt me...least of all my mom's brother. I kind of expected him to say sorry, say it was an accident, make sure I was okay but..."

"_You little shit! This is your fault! You were late and now look!! You fucking killed my family!"_

"_Uncle Ron please...mommy's hurt please..."_

"_She's dead you fucking idiot!! All of them are DEAD! And it's all your fault!!"_

"Maybe if I was awake and with my parents, I could have gotten to Ron faster and he might have been able to save my mom at least..."

"Dean it's not your fault, like you said, demons are manipulating evil bitches. If you were with your parents then you would have been killed too. I'm pretty sure your parents wouldn't have wanted that."

"I guess so..."

"I know so."

There were a few moments of silence before Dean decided to change the subject...so to speak.

"God I'm exhausted...jeez all this emotional crap is hard work, give me math any day over this..."

"I thought you hated math?"

"Ehh...not so bad I guess," Dean got a light smile on his face then and Sam decided not to question, Dean was right, this talking stuff was a killer.

"Hey Dean...?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I um...do you mind if I um...would it be totally gay if I..."

"Spit it out kid," Dean snorted.

"Would it be okay if I slept on the floor in your room? I kinda...don't wanna...um...it's freaky at night in my room."

"You can take my bed...I'll sleep on the floor, I'm a pro at it..." Sam frowned, "don't ask," Sam nodded.

"You wanna play cards?" Sam asked breaking the boredom that was building in a matter of seconds.

"Sure...I hope you can play poker as well as I can."

"Dude I can't play poker!" Sam laughed.

"Why not? I'll teach you, it's easy."

"How do you even know how to play poker?"

"I'm good at hustling...long story, but if you ever need some extra cash there's a bar right down the street."

"How do you even get in bars?"

"Lying and some awesome fake ID's. Come on, okay lesson number 1 in poker, bluffing........"

_**TBC...**_

**God even I'm exhausted after that never mind those two!! **

**Did that make up for the **_**OTHER**_** thing?**


	24. Out of my Mind

**Slightly freaking out today, our psychology cover teacher has just told us we have a HUGE test on the 31st (actual psych teacher is useless and has more time off than half the students put together in the college.) So I'm panicking already, I know nothing in that class, I don't retain anything, I'm sure it's the teacher...anyway, please help me not to stress, I ended up making myself ill on the law exam. **

**Mum got home today, I told her, she said 'you best not do what you did last time young lady or I'm locking you in your room.' So, as you can imagine, I stress over school A LOT! And I have one insanely protective mum, she really will ban be from college I'm not kidding, not that I'm complaining lol. But I still need help guys!! I'm not the sort of kid to listen to her mother on stuff like 'chillax girl!' hahah!!! **

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Out of my Mind**

"Still with the salt?" Sam asked, laughing at the line Dean was settling

"Well I might not be out there killing things but I still have precautions to take, hell I'm surprised you haven't seen the salt in your own doorway."

"There was no salt at my door."

"No cos it's under your door."

"Huh?"

"That was eloquent for an A+ student," Dean teased as he set the last of the salt down.

"Shut up. Where is the salt under my door?"

"In the little groove metal thing that holds your carpet down, I had to put it under there cos I knew with your cluts history you'd end up breaking the line if I did it on top of the floor."

"How did you even get it under the metal thing?"

"I used your dads tools I found when we put the stuff back after that fishing trip."

"Do you think of everything?" Sam asked rhetorically.

"Yes," Dean smirked anyway.

"So, anything else I should know about? There's no freaky symbols under my carpet is there?"

"You know...that's not a bad idea," Dean to himself scratching his chin for comical effect.

"You are not drawing things under my carpet."

"It's for your own protection Sammy."

"Easy for you to say, you won't be the one explaining to my parents why my carpet is suddenly wonky."

"I'd put it back straight," Dean huffed.

Sam snorted then shook his head before he climbed under the covers Dean was meant to have now.

"You want a bed time story?" Dean joked as he watched Sam get comfy.

"No, I can read to myself thanks."

"Alright, spoil sport." Dean then pulled a face, Sam thought at first he was pulling an 'ow my ribs' face but when Dean pulled out a huge knife from the back of his jeans his throat closed up in shock. His shock only spurred on when Dean pulled other things various straps under his clothes, a small pocket knife strapped to his ankle, a silver bottle of something in his jacket pocket, then he was really shocked when Dean reached out behind him and pulled out a gun from under the pillow his head was on.

"Dean what the hell?"

"What? It's for protection, I let my guard down before, not gonna happen again kid."

"But...but you have a gun."

"Yeah, and holy water, and silver knifes and iron rods...all sorts, it's as much of a protection for you as it is for me."

"Yeah but...Dean you have a gun..." Sam gasped once again.

"Sam, this is America, lots of people have guns, no big deal."

"No, lots of adults have guns!"

"Keep your damn voice down," Dean hissed, it came out harsher than he meant it but Sam had to learn he couldn't just blurt stuff like that out.

"Sorry...m'sorry..." Sam mumbled hanging his head to his chest.

"No, I am...look if this bothers you then...I can put it away, I just...it's not exactly out of the ordinary for me so I didn't think much of it...I'm sorry."

"No...it's okay, keep them, protection right?"

Dean nodded a thank you to the kid before he slipped the gun under the pillow he set on the floor.

He then stood and lifted his top over his head before he could think. Sam gasped at the sight he knew was coming. Dean's eyes stung with tears when he heard the kid, he lifted his top back on and turned to face Sam, not because he wanted the boy to see his face, but because he didn't want him staring at his back of all things.

"Dean...I-I...does it hurt?" Sam asked trying to seem like he was okay with it.

"Not really...not anymore, I'm pretty sure I don't have any nerves left in my back...I'll just go to the bathroom."

"No Dean...it's fine, I have some scars too, I got this one here from falling off my bike," Sam showed Dean his elbow that had the tiny scar on trying his best to be in the club.

"Like I said, cluts," Dean joked trying to get past it.

"Dean I'm sorry for being immature, the scars don't bother me, really...I just...I'm sorry I couldn't help you before you got more."

"Yeah well that was my fault, I told you to screw yourself when you said you could help so...I deserved them just for that."

"I thought we were done with the guilt trip thing?"

"Nar, not gonna happen in my life time. Listen I'm gonna go brush my teeth, don't mess up the salt," Dean pointed a finger at Sam before he grabbed his PJ's and left the bedroom. Sam kicked himself mentally when he knew why Dean was going to the bathroom now.

"Stupid idiot," he cursed himself.

_**SPN**_

"Dean, you're not sleeping on the floor."

"Why not? I've done it before?"

"With newly healed broken ribs?"

"Yes actually, several times, now shut up I'm trying to sleep."

"Dean just...I'll go back to my own room if you want?"

"No, you're not, just go to sleep Sam, it's 1am."

"Nope, not gonna happen."

Knowing what Sam was getting at, and not subtly, Dean pushed off his make shift covers and stood from the floor with his gun in one hand and pillow in the other.

"Scoot over, and don't kick me in your sleep this time," he warned setting his things down and getting under the covers next to the kid. "How come you don't have this room?" Dean asked the kid when he got bored of looking at the ceiling.

"I dunno, this has just always been the double guest room."

"The _guest_ should have the smallest room I say."

"I like my room," Sam said defending the 'guest' in the process.

"I thought you said it was creepy?"

"It is...shut up," Sam said before he could dig himself into a deeper embarrassing hole.

"Night Sammy," Dean said, turning on his side facing the door.

"Night Dean," Sam whispered turning to face the window.

_**SPN**_

The next morning Dean woke up to sun shining in his eyes. He turned over and tried not to laugh thinking of what Sam's hair looked like when he was asleep...but the side of the bed was empty.

"Sam?" he asked sitting up and jumping out of bed. He walked over to the door and noticed Sam had already collected up the salt and put it back in his little tub, it wasn't the best tidy up but the kid's gesture was nice.

"Oh, morning Dean, you sleep well honey?" Mary asked when he got downstairs.

"Yeah...where's Sam?" he asked shocked at how even his voice was.

"School, he didn't want to wake you this morning."

"He went to school? And he was okay?"

"Actually he was rather eager to go, like the Sam I know and love; I don't know what you two boys talked about but thank you sweetheart for whatever you did."

"You're sure? He just happily went to school?" Dean frowned.

"Yeah, why? Did he say something?"

"Uh...no, no he just...um...no not really, guess the talk must have worked."

She smiled, ran a hand through his hair then turned back round to the stove where she placed 4 strips of bacon on a plate along with fried bread and tomatoes.

"Eat up honey, will you be okay here alone today?"

"I thought I was going with John?"

"Not anymore, you can stay here and do whatever want today."

"But I-"

"Dean, you're not going back to that garage."

"But I was just-"

"Honey I'm not doing this to punish you, you hurt yourself yesterday going there."

"I swear I'll be good this time..."

"Dean it's not about you, I don't blame you for anything that happened, it's just not a safe place for you to be right now. You're intimidated enough by John never mind 5 other grown men. It's okay I understand why you would be but for now just stay here. Can I trust you not to take off?"

Dean swallowed the shame and nodded, "yes ma'am," he mumbled.

Mary felt so guilty when she heard the ma'am because she knew she had made Dean revert to his old ways just then.

"Maybe next week okay?" she said cupping his cheek before she left him to his meal. "Oh and when John gets back can you tell him he still has the backyard to do?"

"Sure."

"See you tonight sweetie."

Dean made a quick grimace that was meant to be a goodbye smile before she smiled herself and left.

_**SPN**_

"God this is so boring!" Dean yelled tossing his books at the wall like he had done several times before. He didn't know what to do, before when he stayed home he wasn't really up to doing anything but read some lousy science book, but now he felt fine, and he had way too much bottled up energy that was only building day by day, even the punching bag was getting boring and pointless.

He made his way to the kitchen and decided to clean up, he was good at organising and stuff like that, god knows _somebody_ had drilled it into him enough.

"Ah..." he hissed when he felt his back twinge. He stayed perfectly still, frowned and waited. When it didn't happen again he shook it off and went back to moving all the pots to the sink. There were only a few, not enough to be worthy of a full sink of water so he went up stairs and wandered round looking for pots. He found a few in Sam's room and one dirty cup in the bathroom. He lifted the plastic cup but dropped it with a hiss when something hot shot up his back again. He cranked his neck and shoulder blades then picked up the cup again and went downstairs to wash them all.

He tidied up the rest of the kitchen, stacked up some randomly strewn newspapers and magazines in the living room along with his own work books that he decided to give a break till Sam got home.

He went to his room, folded up the covers still left on the floor and opened the curtains fully attempting to figure out the tie backs.

"Screw that," he grumbled when they weren't going right, he left them hanging loose then made his bed, leaving Sam's pillow next to his own.

It was only half an hour later as he worked on cleaning the rest of the kitchen when he was thinking to himself, '_wonder what that weird back thing was...maybe I'm going crazy,'_ when he felt the pain once again, but this time it was worse than before and it was hanging around for a good couple of minutes before it dissipated. He made himself breathe through it before he dropped his cloth into the sink and went to the bathroom mirror. He lifted his shirt and tried to twist himself at such an angle so he could see what was bothering him, but when he looked, there was nothing there, sure there was the gross thick scars...but they were the same colour they had always been, not even a little red, not even the newest ones.

"Yup, I'm going crazy," he said to himself before he dropped his shirt and went back to his cleaning.

_**SPN**_

At school Sam was pretty sure he was going crazy too. One minute he was listening to his teacher ramble on about the great presidents then the next he was wiping drool from his face and turning red as the teacher hot seated him.

"Sam can you please tell the rest of the class what you are day dreaming about?"

"Oh uh...no, no I'm listening."

"Then can you tell us what the last thing I said was?"

"Um...the president's name?"

"I said that in the introduction to the lesson, it is now ninety minutes into the subject."

"Oh...sorry..." Sam winced as others laughed at him.

"Sam, at break time I'd like to speak to you."

Just then the recess bell went and Sam wasn't sure if that was good or bad. All the others left, his friend Jordon was even laughing at him as he went out the door.

"Sam am I boring you?"

"No sir."

"Do you want to be moved up into the special achievers?"

"No, no Mr. Cox I just...I'm still trying to catch up on sleep."

"What time did you go to bed last night?"

"Uh..." Sam's mind was screaming at him to lie, say he was napping for house, not 30 minutes, say he went to bed in Dean's room at 8pm, not half 1. "I don't know."

"That's what kids usually say when it's late. What was it? 10? 11?"

"Almost 2am sir, but I can explain-, I..." _'I was scared of nightmares, so I slept in my foster brother's bed, I put sleep off with stupid random things like guns and salt and scars just to keep the nightmares away for just a little longer.'_ "I was playing video games and lost track of time."

"I see, well it looks like to me I should call your parents about these latest incidents and suggest they remove your privileges until you can stay awake in class for at least an hour at a time."

"No...please, I'll listen from now on, I swear," Sam begged, his words clearly saying, 'I'll stay awake' not 'I'll go to sleep.'

"Sam I've given you another chance and you still haven't had the will power to get yourself to bed at a reasonable hour."

"I know. I will," he begged.

Mr. Cox nodded then let Sam leave.

The kid breathed a sigh of relief once he was out the door and made a mental note to ask Dean about staying awake in class...something that didn't involve coffee because that was disgusting, although, he was willing to try just about anything at this point.

'_I wonder if you can have nightmares if you pass out rather than fall asleep...I wonder how effective a frying pan __a__round the head is...'_

He bit his lip at how stupid that sounded then made his way outside. He almost cried when his supposed _friend_ was hanging round some other gang, laughing and sniggering with them when he walked past and kicked the dirt as he walked to the empty looser spot in the play ground.

_**SPN**_

Dean stood back, admiring his handy work, the garden was officially perfect! The overgrown bushes were all cut down, some of them were nasty little bitches but he showed them who was boss, well, him and a pair of huge hedge trimmers.

The old mouldy toys he figured used to belong to little Sammy were tossed, the deck chairs had been pressure washed and scrubbed down with soap. The dead flowers were all stripped, the new ones shooting through were watered and the shed was organised to a tee. He had even figured out how to work the freakin lawn mower, even though he had never mowed a lawn in his life, he couldn't even remember the last time he had a lawn!

"Son of a bitch," he cursed when he felt the forgotten burn in his back, he took one last quick look at the lawn, made sure everything was put away where he found it then limped and grunted his way back inside the house and laid himself down on the sofa. He knew he should wash his hands free from the dirt and soil but he just couldn't get up once he was down, _'maybe if I just lay here for half an hour and watch some TV it'll go away.'_

Weirdly as he thought that, it stopped and he breathed a sigh of relief, turned the TV on, pushed his shoes off and put his feet up.

"Aw man I just got comfortable!" he whined to no one when the phone started to ring. He forced himself up, hummed a well done when his back was pain free then picked up the phone on the kitchen wall using his shirt sleeve over his hand to stop it getting dirty. "Uh...Winchester residence?" he cringed.

"_Hello this is the school nurse at-"_

"What's wrong with Sammy?!"

_**SPN**_

"Sam? Sam!"

"Noo...Dnn..."

"Sam wake up!" someone harshly yelled, close to his ear, too close. He jolted awake and jumped up from his chair for some strange reason he didn't know. "Sam this is getting beyond a joke," Mr. Cox lectured. "I'm calling your parents and sending you home."

"Nooooo....." was all Sam got out before the floor came up and smacked him in the face hard, then everything went black.

_**TBC...**_


	25. What you don’t know you can feel it som

**Thank you for all the love and support guys, so, today sucked, I am tired again, and by tired I mean can't even speak well cos it comes out in slurs...so much for revision...bblllaaahhhh!!! I don't even have the energy to panic...not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...bbooohooo! On a happier note...I hope you like this chapter!**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**What you don't know you can feel it somehow**

"_Hello this is the school nurse at-"_

"What's wrong with Sammy?!"

"_Young man if you would please-"_

"Tell him I'm on my way!" Dean yelled slamming the phone down to go get his shoes back on. It didn't take long to find some sort of keys and lock up. It took longer for him to try and remember which direction the school was but he thought back to the few times he'd been there and found the entrance within 15 minutes.

He jumped up the steps and ran inside following the rather poor directions to the nurse's office.

"Sam? Sam?!" he yelled when he opened the door with a bang in his worry.

"M'fine..." a groggy voice mumbled back and when Dean stopped to actually look in front of him, he saw the kid on the hospital like examining table. He would have said Sam was half asleep, but it seemed more like only a quarter awake. He was bent over, almost falling off the table, his eyes were dark and the kid seemed to have aged years in the last few days, he truly looked like crap!

"What's wrong?" Dean asked rushing to the kid, not sure what to do but he couldn't stand around like some lemon.

"Jus' fell'sleep," Sam mumbled leaning further and further to the side until Dean caught him and before either of them knew it, Sam's head was resting on Dean's shoulder and Dean had his arm around the young boy.

"Sam you passed out, not fell asleep," the nurse corrected, hands on her hips looking at them both with too much accusation for her own good. "Now, young man what are you doing here?"

"You called me," Dean stopped himself from saying much more than that, he was talking sarcastically, that wasn't really good was it?

"No, I called looking for Sam's parents, what relation are you to him?"

"I'm..." Dean couldn't find the word...what was he to Sam? House guest? Far family relative? Friend? No...they weren't really good titles, especially for this woman. "I'm his brother," Dean announced with some pride.

"His brother? And why did you answer the call instead of being at school yourself?"

"Long story...one I'm not telling you," Dean said, with no attitude, just strength in his words. "Look just call his mom's work, tell her I can take Sam home. She'll let me, I swear," Dean handed over a slip of paper Mary handed him weeks ago with all the phone numbers on he might need in case of emergencies like this.

The nurse sighed taking the list, saw how close the boys were, how much Sam obviously trusted his 'brother' now he was resting his head and actually relaxing, he was so restless and out of it when he was brought in by Mr. Cox, she thought about calling the hospital more than once.

"I'll call your mother's work, if she agrees are you sure you can get Sam home in the state he's in?"

"Trust me, he's not exactly heavy if I end up carrying him. I can handle it...it's my job."

She nodded then went in the back office for the phone.

"Sam what happened?" Dean pushed nudging the kid on his shoulder.

"Jus' really tired...Mr. _Small_ _Cock_ wouldn't leave m'lone...m'tired Dean."

"Yeah and you got a fever, what did I say about no sleep will make you sick?" Dean lectured and almost laughed when Sam groaned, obviously irritated by Dean's nagging. "Well I hate to say I told you so."

"Jerk."

"So you have enough energy to insult me? Bitch."

"Can'wego'ome?" Sam slurred, clearly still out of it.

"Alright, Mrs Winchester is trusting you to get Sam home safe and she said she'll be there in half an hour. Are you absolutely sure you can get him home?"

"I'm positive, after a vampire, a psycho uncle, a bully and a killer fish, taking him home will be a breeze ma'am," Dean worked his charming yet cocky smile he'd now grown to like thanks to Sam. He ignored the strange look from the nurse then helped the swaying kid off the table and out the door, his arms wrapped around Sam's waist just in case he was to fall at any time. "Sam, one foot in front of the other, can you do that for me kid?"

"Mmm'hhh," Sam nodded, doing just that as Dean held most of his weight and they walked out the school and back home.

"Okay, just a little further Sammy, you can do it, then you can be in a nice comfy bed and sleep for a week." Dean regretted saying the stuff about a bed when Sam's knees gave out. "Whoa, not just yet Sam, come on..."

Sam shook his head and a few tears left his closed eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong? You want me to call your mom?" Dean rushed trying to check Sam over whilst keeping him upright and off the pavement.

"M'tired...wanna sleep...." Sam mumbled so Dean sighed, he could call Mary, he could tell her to come and meet them, but that would just take longer, it would be quicker if he just got Sam home and in bed without any more stops.

"Okay....okay, I'm gonna carry you cos there's no way you can walk anymore. You need to hold onto me or you're gonna fall face first into the concrete, you understand Sam?" when he got nothing, Dean tapped Sam's cheek a little to get his attention, "Sam? Hold on? Do you understand?" Dean asked slowly and Sam thankfully nodded and tightened his arms around Dean's neck and held on with whatever he had left. "Up we go..." Dean grunted as he pulled Sam up and into his arms in one swoop. "Alright, not long now Sammy..." he promised as he carried on walking with the extra weight.

It wasn't long before they made it to the house, Dean now knew where he was going, and he could speed up his walking because he didn't have to wait up for Sam as he was in his arms.

He warned Sam before setting his feet on the ground and holding the kid with just one hand as he had to unlock the door with the other. Once it was open and Sam was back in his arms he kicked the door shut behind him and made his way to the kid's bedroom. He considered putting Sam in his own bed, mostly because that was just normal, then he thought back to last night and decided to put the kid in his own double. He tucked him in tight then closed the curtains and watched him sleep while listening for Mary coming in.

_**SPN**_

"Is he okay?" were Mary's first words as she came in Dean's bedroom, at first she went to Sam's room, naturally, then noticed the dark gloom creeping under the bottom of the door in Dean's room and thought maybe they were in there...she was right.

"No," Dean answered back, his tone cold, angry even as he watched Mary run her hand through Sam's hair as he slept on.

"Can you come downstairs for a sec honey?" she whispered, thankful when he followed her out of the room and down the steps. "Dean I...thank you...for getting my little boy home...I-I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here to answer the call...what Sammy would have done...."

Dean didn't speak, his head was low and his face was hard.

"And also...for the cleaning...it's amazing sweetheart thank you."

Dean shrugged, and kind of wished he had never bothered now with what happened to Sam today.

Mary sensed the mood Dean was in so she knew today she had to tread carefully, especially with Sam upstairs sick and Dean obviously worried and angry at something, maybe it was her?

"How about next week we go out somewhere as a family, the park or maybe somewhere you like going. How's that?"

"It's okay...you don't owe me anything," Dean mumbled with his head low, now he was insulted, even though Mary was clearly trying to make it sound like she wasn't giving him some sort of pay out for the cleaning.

"Come on, every boy likes kicking a football around in the park or-"

"I said I don't want anything!" Dean yelled catching Mary off guard.

"Honey, what's wrong? I know you're worried about Sam and-"

"It's your damn fault! He passed out today cos you two wouldn't listen to him! He can't sleep so he passed out! Now he's sick and it's all your fault! You sent him to school and you didn't even notice your own damn son was hurting!"

"Dean I-"

"What?! What could you possible say to make up for that?!"

"You're right …Sammy's sick and...I didn't see...and I'm happy you did...I'm sorry."

"What?! _Sorry_?! That's all you got?! SORRY?!! You thought more about me than you did your own flesh and blood and all you got to say is _sorry_!!"

"Dean is that was you're angry about? That we've been looking out for you?"

"You took me to the hospital cos of a scratch and Sam hasn't been able to sleep right for weeks now and you didn't even see!!"

"You're angry at us for making you our top priority these last few weeks?" Mary asked knowing it was true, she had tried so hard to make them equal but truth be told, she thought Sam was okay...that's why they had seen more of Dean being upset or hurt...because they thought Sam was fine.

"Yes! I'm not supposed to be the top priority; I never have been so why start now?! You should be looking after Sam, not me! Sam!"

"Could you stop yelling? I'm trying to sleep..." a tired voice said from the doorway and Dean felt instantly guilty when he looked over his shoulder.

"Sammy, how are you feeling baby?"

"M'tired...but don't think you haven't been looking after me. Dean you're wrong okay, I know my parents, and they know me, I don't care, I want them to look after you..."

"Sam-"

"Dean just trust me...you're not worthless or whatever other word you can come up with today. Now can I go to bed if you two stop yelling?"

"We're sorry honey."

"Yeah...sorry Sam, come on, you need help upstairs?" Dean asked, moving to help Sam, make himself useful.

Sam managed to make it back to Dean's bed without incident but Dean still hovered close behind the whole way just in case.

"You want anything? Food? Drink? You warm enough or you want another blanket? Or-"

"Dean, I'm fine, just tired," Sam smiled a little stopping the mother hen rant.

"Yeah well, you didn't look 'just tired' a few hours ago."

"Why? How did I even get here anyway?"

To save the kid embarrassment Dean just gently offered, "long story, now go to sleep."

"...don't yell anymore okay?"

Dean nodded quick, "night Sammy."

"Night Dean..."

After picking Sam's clothes up he took off when he got home and folding them over the end of the bed, Dean went back to sitting in silence in the chair he set by the bed as Sam snored away within minutes.

_**SPN**_

It was 17 minutes through dinner when someone finally talked.

"Hey kiddo, thanks for the yard, it's 1000 times better than I could have made it."

Dean shrugged as he ate the last mouthful he cared to manage then set his fork down.

"Sammy okay up there?" Dean nodded, only once...but at least John kinda told Sam to get some sleep...unlike Mary...she practically yelled at poor Sam that day Sam tried to get out of school.

"Dean-"

"Can I be excused?" Dean asked before they could start with the heart to heart I'm sorry's again.

"No, you're going to sit and talk to us," John said, in a fatherly 'do as you're told' tone.

"I'm not the one you need to talk to, try Sam, you know, the kid upstairs, the one you've been ignoring for weeks now, your fucking son."

"That language is uncalled for Dean."

"John don't-"

"What? Mary, Sam could have told us he wasn't feeling well-"

"He did, he told you lots of times, I even fucking told you! You're meant to be his parents! You're meant to love him and take care of him!! You fucking abandoned him!" it seemed only Dean himself knew he was talking about his own parents now...

"Dean! Watch your damn tone!!" at that order he flinched, his heart rate sped up and then he knew it was too good to be true, they had to hit him some time right? He had done more than enough to deserve it, he yelled, he screamed, he cried, he hit people, he was disrespectful and now he was blaming these two amazing parents for something he caused in the first place!

"_But Uncle Ron I swear I've practised! Why won't you believe me?"_

"_You better watch your damn tone with me boy! 20 laps round the field!"_

"_But Uncle Ron it's like over 5 miles!"_

"_NOW!"_ Dean felt the rough hand smack him square in the jaw, just like all those years ago and it stung so much he thought he really must have been hit.

"Honey?" Mary asked carefully snapping him out of his thoughts, so to speak.

"Dean, you with us?" John asked, placing a hand on the kid's shoulder making him spring back and hit the floor hard on his back that was now burning once again.

He tried to back up on the floor, crawling on his elbows as John jumped from his chair, crouched on the floor and leaned over him, grabbing his shoulders trying to comfort him, only thing was, Dean didn't see John nor did he feel the comfort, he felt Ron's hands on him, nails digging into his shoulder blades and Ron's alcoholic breath clouding his eyes.

"Hey hey hey, Dean, Dean look at me, come on look at me, sshhh, it's okay, it's okay, I didn't mean to yell, come on son snap out of it, we gotcha, it's okay, it's okay..."

In his blind panic Dean cried out when something was wrapped round him, holding his arms down, keeping him from fighting back...not that he could, but still...he didn't like being so pinned down.

"_You sick freak...you think they're gonna want you after what you've done to Sam now? As if you needed another reason to be kicked out on the street..."_ someone hissed in his ear, almost laughing at him.

"L-let me go...I swear I'm sorry...please don't hurt me please...I'm sorry for Sam..." he tried to break free from the restrains but it was no use, so he just let himself fall further back into them. It was only when he _let_ himself lean back a little that he realised he was leaning on John, the sounds in his ear were John's quiet words of comfort and the things wrapped round him were John's arms. John was hugging him?

"Dean, you're scaring us, come on baby just calm down, it's okay, we're sorry, it's okay."

Leaning over to see the kids face, John saw Dean was back with them. "You with us kiddo?"

"S-sorry..." he breathed, this time it wasn't a plea to be left alone, not to be hurt anymore, it was a quiet apology for acting so insane just then...he hoped it was only temporary.

"What was that?" John asked, not moving an inch for the kid's sake, the one still shaking in his arms on the kitchen floor.

"N-nothing...ah!" Dean yelped when he tried to move and his back stung like a mother.

"Hey, hey is it your back? Let me look kiddo," John pleaded when he saw Dean winced and the tears form in his eyes. He helped the kid slowly sit forward where he carefully pulled up Dean's t-shirt. "Oooh that looks like it's sore champ, how long has this been hurting?" John asked when he saw the throbbing red scars that littered the kid's upper back.

"W-what?"

"I said how long have they been hurting, they look pretty painful Dean," John winced once again feeling the heat from Dean's old and new scars.

'_They didn't before...it hurt yeah but there was nothing there!'_

"We'll talk tomorrow, come on we're putting some cream on that then you're going to bed as well. You okay sharing with Sam again?" John asked as he helped Dean to his feet carefully then led the kid back to the chair.

Mary passed her husband some sort of white tube Dean tried to get a look at.

"It's just burn cream, that okay?" Mary asked when she saw him trying to see what it was.

Dean nodded, back to his old silent self again much to Mary and John's regret, just when they thought he was getting better.

He was still angry at them, he wanted to yell so bad, even more now they were rushing around him like he might break, but if he started yelling at them, it might make him have another one of those flashback pain vision things...and he really didn't want that to happen.

"We are so sorry Dean," Mary cooed cupping his cheek, tears stinging her eyes when he flinched and pulled back, much like all those weeks ago, but somehow worse this time round.

Looking at the shy...embarrassed, shame coated, self loathing mess of a young boy in front of him, John sighed. He knew he needed to get Dean's t-shirt off, but he just couldn't make Dean anymore embarrassed today.

"Let's do this upstairs," he said quietly before he nodded for Dean to go on up. The kid was helped when he stood, but brushed off the aiding hands feeling like he didn't deserve them, then winced his way out of the kitchen, through the living room and up the stairs. Trying not to cry on the way being one of the hardest things he's ever done...but he managed.

Dean heard the toaster go on when he was half way up, he stopped, then listened in on the quiet conversation...

"We've really screwed up this time haven't we?" he heard Mary ask her husband, her voice unmistakably holding back tears.

"Maybe he does need to be with a family that knows more about kids like him...one without a dad that yells all the time."

"One without a mother that can't even look after one child never mind the other..."

"Hey, you're a great mother, don't talk like that...I'm gonna go put Dean back together, see how Sammy is...then I'm coming down here and having a nice quiet evening with my beautiful wife..."

"Okay, now I _know_ you've either got mud on my cream carpet or you want something."

"Love you too babe...be right back." He heard John give Mary an obvious kiss on the lips then ran upstairs as silent as he could to his room making it seem like he had been there that whole conversation.

So...this _perfect_ family did have its problems too...

"Alright, you wanna take your t-shirt off now there are no girls around?" John whispered as he left the door open so bulbs from the hall could light the room a little.

Dean nodded, not so ridged as he was minutes go, he took his top off only wincing a few times as it pulled on his stinging back.

John set a plate of toast down on the bedside table then made his way to the eldest kid in the room, lowering himself to his knees as Dean took a seat and turned so John could reach his back.

"This might be cold," John warned before he dabbed a little of the cream over his red marks, at first Dean tensed up again, thinking it was going to hurt, but surprisingly it wasn't anything more than a little chilly. "You okay sleeping on your side tonight? I think that might be-"

"It's fine...I do anyway," Dean told John much to the man's shock, maybe they hadn't screwed up as much as they thought.

"You sure you're okay with everything else? Nothing hurting anywhere other than your back?"

"No s-, no..._John_."

"Good, that's good," John smiled, happy, relieved mostly. He went round to the other side of the bed as Dean went out to the bathroom to wash up for the night. "Sammy? Hey can you wake up for your old man?"

"Wha...? Dad when did you get home?"

"It's past 7, how long do you want me to work for?" John joked.

Sam laughed a little then waited for what his dad wanted. He felt a hand on his forehead then grumbled when the quilt was taken off him.

"Don't you dare put that back on," John warned with a little humour, Sam was a little too warm and he didn't want his son getting any hotter. "You hungry?"

"Nope, not really...got a headache," Sam then saw the plate of toast and pulled a face. "You're gonna make me eat aren't you?"

"Yup, get that down you, I'll be right back."

"Thanks dad."

After smiling at his son, he went downstairs and got a glass of water for both boys along with some pills and the trusty thermometer.

"But I thought you said you couldn't feel anything," he heard Sam ask, Dean was back in the bedroom getting interrogated then.

"Yeah well...I guess someone thought they needed to prove me wrong, but I'm fine Sam, don't worry about it."

"Do you worry about me?"

"Yeah."

"So I worry about you, it's a two way street."

"Not in my experience."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, look just eat your supper okay?"

"Boys you okay in here?" John asked, announcing his return as he walked into the room.

"Dad, is Dean okay?" Sam asked making a 'ner ner' face at Dean.

"He's fine, old scars just hurt for no reason sometimes, he'll be fine after a good night's sleep, and so will you, so get that down you and shush."

Sam pulled his nose up at them both but went back to eating as instructed.

"Dean, can I check your temperature?" John asked before he pointed a finger at Sam, he felt like he was telling a puppy to down boy, hell, Sam had the eyes for it.

Dean nodded and held out his hand telling John he could do it himself.

"Dad I thought you said-"

"Sammy, stop worrying tiger, I'm just making sure."

Sam nodded and sat in silence starting at his now empty plate.

When the thermometer bleeped Dean handed it over. "Not great but not too bad, is your back still sore?"

Dean considered shaking his head and lying, but when he got a stern look from John he nodded at the question then took the offered pill and water willingly.

"Good boy," John praised, just like his dad used to do.

God he missed that fatherly bossy down the nose look, the one his dad gave him when he played too far away from the house that time. It was kinda nice John looking at him like that and for him not be scared or expect a beating.

"You're next Sammy," John said sticking the little machine under Sam's armpit, when it bleeped it showed Sam's wasn't much better than Dean's temp so he handed his kid a pill and glass of water of his own.

Once that was done, he instructed Dean to get in bed, laid the sheet over them and told them both to leave the quilt off.

"Okay, night then kiddo's, be good."

"Night dad."

"Night John," Dean whispered as well...shocking everyone but Sam, he seemed happy more than shocked at that simple phrase.

John left the room, closing the door gently, he waited by the door, making sure they didn't chat tonight, neither of them were fit for that this evening. He smiled when he heard the sounds of 2 boys snoring not 10 minutes later.

_**TBC...**_


	26. All I see, all I need

**Law results tomorrow....eeeppp!! *panic panic panic!***

**I'm not being pompous or anything but I worked my butt off for that and I kinda want an A or a B (I was a C student at high school, but those exams were taken when I was in my ill year so I think that's pretty good with no revision, on oxygen and 3 month off school then diving head first for my GCSE's when I was let out of hospital even though i wasn't technically mean to be...yes it is like prison after that long hah!) **

**But well...I'll end up failing or only just passing with an E, though like I said I want a freakin B at least!! Then I will be ecstatic. I think I'm going to open the letter and if I see D or less I'm going to cry now my hopes are up, why did I go and do that?! My motto is always think negative then you will never be disappointed! GRRRR!! *slaps self!***

**Oh well...couldn't have tried harder that's for sure! Wish me luck... *bites nails!* **

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**All I see, all I need**

Today was the third day of Sam sitting up in bed, catching up on much needed sleep and downing throat soothers like there was no tomorrow. Because of his sore throat, clammy forehead and stuffy nose, Dean felt so bad for the miserable boy he didn't even have the heart to say I told you so. Speaking of the older kid, he was running around like a headless chicken after Sam and looked all too happy to be. Whatever Sammy wanted, Sammy got, whether it was a new box of tissues or the remote control for the TV Dean had lifted from the bedroom downstairs and placed on the bedside cabinet, mostly for Sam's benefit, not that he didn't enjoy watching a few cartoons through the day while he avoided John and Mary.

Sam was more asleep than he was awake but that didn't stop Dean from entertaining him in the few hour intervals Sam's eyes were open. He didn't really want to, and he was sure it wasn't really resting, but Sam had managed to talk Dean into bringing up his work books so he could help while he had the few days off his parents ordered. The young boy asked what would happen about school work but he was told 'everything's sorted out honey, don't worry about school or Mr. Cox okay?' So he gladly left well enough alone.

"Alright, that's an hour, back to sleep," Dean ordered, taking his science books from the bed and piling them up neatly as Sam shuffled down the covers and laid his head on the pillow. "Night," Dean said casually as he closed the curtains and left the room for the kid to sleep in peace. Little did Sam know, whenever he dropped off Dean snuck back in to keep an eye out for nightmares and left when Sam stirred awake, coming in when he knew Sam was awake saying 'hey you're up,' like he didn't already know.

"Night Dean," Sam waved off, still surprised at how sleepy he was 3 days later.

As usual, Dean took his place on the floor outside Sam's room and waited.

"Dean? Kiddo, can I talk to you?" he heard John ask from what sounded like the middle of the steps.

Dean didn't reply hoping he would be forgotten about...unfortunately he heard John come further up the steps and lowered his head when he knew the man was walking in front of him.

"Dean?" he asked carefully, this was probably the most he had seen of Dean all week.

He lifted his head and looked so young to John.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Dean shook his head, then nodded his head towards Sam's door.

"Mary can watch him, 15 minutes that's all I'm asking, please?" John pleaded.

Dean nodded, knowing he wasn't going to get out of it, he had put it off for long enough, he was a little surprised when John helped him to stand and smiled as they went downstairs, he followed the man as he left the house out the back door to the yard he had cleaned not long ago.

John sat down in the middle of the garden and Dean did the same, he was confused but what else was he supposed to do?

"So...you doing okay kid?" John asked casually.

Dean nodded.

"You wanna talk about what happened last week?"

Dean shook his head.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about that but...me and Mary have been talking and we-"

Dean knew this was coming, he wanted to say something, 'sorry I failed again, sorry I messed up my second chance as royally as I did the first, sorry for what I've done to Sam, for not being enough, not doing enough, sorry for my screwed up life, thanks for trying...' but he couldn't even pull up the dignity to do that. He just ended up crying and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it because it caught him so off guard.

'_What the hell did I say?!'_

"Hey, hey Dean, oh god...I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, hey come here," John cooed pulling the kid into his arms and was taken off guard when the cries didn't stop. "Alright, alright...it's okay, I'm sorry, it's okay kiddo, I gotcha...sshhh, I'm sorry..."

"P-plee-please...d-don't sen-send me 'way...." Dean cried, holdingonto the front of John shirt with his right hand.

"Hey, take a breath; we never said anything about sending you away. It's okay bud, sshh, I'm sorry." John rubbed the kid's back and rocked him a little thinking he had gotten his answer to what he planned on asking...but he had to be sure. "But...I need to ask...do you wanna go live with another family?"

Dean tried to pull away but John held him tight to his chest and kept his hands down until Dean stopped struggling.

"Dean? Do you want to try living with people that might be able to help you better than we can? Either answer, we'll support you in any way we can, do you wanna leave? Yes or no?"

Dean cried a little more, sniffles mostly, until he finally shook his head.

"N-no...please?"

"Okay, okay if that's what you want then you can stay here for as long as you like, okay bud?"

"Y-yeah...sorry..." Dean cleared his throat and started to sit up, run to the bathroom to stop this shame...something!

"Nothing to be sorry for okay? You don't ever have to be sorry for this stuff you got me?"

Dean nodded into the man's chest, giving up on leaving, John clearly wasn't letting him, but he knew it was in a good way, he didn't feel threatened, he felt like he could sit here in the middle of the grass in John's arms and just not care.

"Okay, if we're gonna do this, I have a proposition for you."

Dean lifted his head to the man's eyes to ask what it was and frowned when a wrapper less tin came into view.

"Okay, this is gonna be your swear box."

Dean huffed in misery when he saw the coin sized hole in the top.

"Now wait a second," John said, firm but fatherly when he heard Dean huff, he grabbed the other tin he had been hiding and placed it next to Dean's. "This is my yelling box, whenever I yell or do something you kids think is out of line, I'll put $10 in here, and when you swear, I'll take a dollar out and put it in your box."

"How's that fair?" Dean asked thinking it was kinda funny actually.

"Well, at the end of the month you kids get to spend my money on video games, but your money will go to John's Winchester's golf club fund. I've been wanting to save up for years and I think this way, everybody wins."

"What if I don't swear?"

"Then you get more money for your video game fund."

"What if you don't yell and I swear?"

"Well then...I'll just have to..."

"This is really confusing and doesn't make any sense," Dean stated trying to hide his smirk.

"Okay fine my plan has some flaws but it's a good start right?"

Dean laughed...actually laughed...really, 'deep in his belly, I don't give a crap who's listening cos I wanna damn laugh' laugh!

After he had forced himself to stop he looked over at John, the man was smiling at him, it was kind of a weird smile he didn't know what to make of.

"Sorry that's just...I think that's the first time I've ever heard you laugh..." John gasped out when he realised he was staring.

Dean lowered his head once again, he didn't realise he was _that_ dead.

"Dean?" John asked carefully when he realised he had upset the kid again. "You want me to put a tenner in my box?"

Dean started to laugh again shaking his head.

"No it's cool...thanks for...everything."

"You're welcome, now, got the awkward stuff out the way, how's your back?"

"S'fine."

"Really?"

Dean nodded, trying to convince the man when in actual fact they both knew his back was still bugging him.

"We can go get it checked out of you want?"

"No, it's fine, I'll deal with it like I've done everything else, it's fine."

"Dean, you're just a kid, you shouldn't have to deal with things, that's mine and Mary's job, so let me take a look and I'll decide if it's something that needs to be dealt with."

Dean huffed, sitting up and leaning forward as John lifted his top and took a look.

"Well, doesn't look like anything wrong, how bad is it bothering you?"

"It's not really, just get this weird stinging thing up my back for a second a few times a day, then it goes away and I feel fine...honest."

"Okay, well if it does start to hurt like before then you tell me okay? I mean it young man, or you're grounded again."

Dean chuckled a little more, he didn't know why he was so giggly today but he was.

"What?" John asked with a well disguised grin.

"Nothing...it's just kinda weird being warned with grounding and not getting my balls hacked off or something."

John gasped, his uncle really said that to him to make him behave?! But Dean seemed to think it was kinda funny.

"I might be pushing this...foster son and foster father bonding but, can you tell me?"

"N-no...I'm sorry...I-I can't...I just...it's...I'm not...."

"Hey, I said I won't be mad and I'm not, I promise, I would never lay a hand on you Dean, just relax okay, if you can't tell me that's fine."

Dean looked up from picking the grass and saw John's eyes were soft...loving...caring...there for him.

"I don't really know what I'm supposed to do....this is just really confusing and then I heard you and Mary talking the other day about going to another family and I just don't really know what to do, I thought if I looked after Sam well enough you wouldn't send me away but-"

"Whoa whoa hold up, we're not sending you away Dean, for the last time that ball is in your court...but you gotta understand, people like us...families like us..."

"You mean normal families?" Dean asked when it seemed John couldn't find the right words.

"Well, what's normal anyway? Okay...typical families like us, we might seem fine and dandy and everything's perfect but to be honest, we get scared, we get hurt, we get confused and angry and guilty and we do the wrong things sometimes just like everybody else. So when Mary and I were talking, we just got confused I guess and we wanna do the right thing for everyone, but sometimes it doesn't pan out that way and it goes sour...like Sammy...God I didn't even notice and..."

"He thinks you're disappointed in him," Dean blurted out, turning an awful shade of white when he realized what he had done.

"H-he what?"

"I'm...I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything-" Dean stood and got ready to run for it but John grabbed his shoulders and stopped him, he was about to explain when he heard a choking sob and scream from the upstairs room they could see from the garden. Dean and John both ran inside the house and up the steps passing Mary on the way, running twice as fast as she was.

Dean got to the room first and rushed to the bed when he saw Sam crying and tangle in the sheets.

"Hey, hey Sam, look at me, Sammy look at me," Dean rushed placing his hands on either side of the kid's face.

"Dee...keeps happening...always keeps happening..."

"Okay, it's okay, I'm fine Sam I swear," Dean cooed making tears rush to John's eyes at the sight, from his place by the door he watched Dean gently comfort his little boy and was proud at the kid for being there for Sam like no one else had before. He saw Dean pick up a book from the floor and knew these kids knew each other like the back of their hands now. He left the room quietly knowing everything was taken care of. "Okay Sammy, it's okay, I gotcha..." Dean got under the covers and pulled Sam to his chest, he wrapped one arm around him and opened the book with the other. _  
_

"_**The Lord of the Rings- **__The Breaking of the Fellowship," _he read aloud trying to ignore the cries as they died down into sniffles, hoping a little of the story would get Sam back to sleep. _"It is no good trying to escape you. But I'm glad, Sam. I cannot tell you how glad. Come along! It is plain that we were meant to go together. We will go, and may the others find a safe road!"_ Dean smiled when he saw Sam was fast on again. "Night Sammy," he whispered shuffling down the bed and closed his eyes.

_**SPN**_

"Dean? Hey Dean?"

"Wha...what? You okay?" Dean asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he looked down at the kid still laid on him.

"Y-yeah...thanks, I'm sorry, I thought you were...when I woke up and you didn't come in I thought...and then I..."

"Yeah, sorry I was outside talking with your dad, I'm really sorry."

"What were you talking about?"

"Just...stuff, looks like I'm staying here permanently."

"Really?" Sam grinned, sitting up, almost hitting Dean with his elbow in his excitement.

"Yep."

"What are you gonna do about-? You know..."

"Not sure yet...but like you keep saying, I can't exactly support myself at 14 years old...I guess I'll just have to wait till I'm older and then, who knows?"

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go downstairs today, do something? I'm bored of sleeping."

"Uh...sure, but don't do too much, if you pass out I'm chaining you to your pillow."

"Yes boss, can we go outside?" Sam asked as they both rolled out of bed and Dean went to open the curtains.

"Sure...your parents are already out there." Sam smiled once again as they walked from the room and down the steps. "Oh and Sam?"

"Yeah?" the kid turned while they were just by the back door.

"I think it's time you told me what happened when you passed out, I've been wanting to know who's ass to kick for days now."

"Oh, no one Dean, I just kinda fell asleep at my desk again and then I woke up, and then I think I stood up to go tell my teacher not to call my parents...and then everything went black, next thing I know I'm waking up and you're there. Man it's gonna be so embarrassing going back to school."

"Yeah well...not as embarrassing as it will be for me."

"What do you mean?"

"Somebody's gotta look out for you when you go back next week."

"You mean-?" Sam didn't even have to finish the question as Dean nodded with a slight smile.

"Yeah, I '_mean'_," Dean joked.

"You want me to tell my parents?" Sam asked with a face splitting grin, so grateful and really...proud? If that was the right word, Dean was going to school, finally willing to go to school...for _him_?!

"No, I can tell them for myself, thanks Sammy."

They both grinned, Sam walked with a slight hop in his step as they walked out the back door and went to go sit on the patio with Mary and John.

They walked rather strangely up to the adults and Dean started fidgeting when no words came out, his head dropped to the floor and he cursed himself for being such a weakling, he was just talking...what was so hard and scary about that? Oh..._right_, the last time he had one of _these_ conversations with a certain someone, he ended up getting beaten with a belt that almost cut through his spine...so, no sweat.

Sam nudged Dean gently, trying to offer support...

"Um...Mr and Mrs Winchester?"

"Mary."

"John,"they both corrected with a smile.

"Um...can I...can I...I want to..."

"_You fucking little prick, think you need school where you headin'?! You think you even got the brains to be in kindergarten?! Shut the fuck up, get your pussy bleeding ass off my floor and get on with cleaning the guns or I'll make Mrs Trunchbull's choky seem like a beauty paler compared to what I'll do to you!"_

"Dean sweetie?"

"PleasecanIgotoschoolifIdon'tfuckup?!"

"What was that Dean?" John asked carefully, but firm when he heard an obvious curse.

"Um....can I...am I allowed to go to school?"

_**TBC...**_

**You've seen Matilda with Mrs Trunchbull right? **

***panic panic panic!***

**Oh and I'm also having this weird faze where I really want Genevieve's hair colour *see avatar! It's it pretty! I would kill for her hair...and other things she has...namely Jared!* but one problem, I have red hair, and well...mothers tend to be very protective of that, especially mine so she would kill me if I dyed it darker, I do have blonde highlights though, I had brown/blonde streaks in once and I cried for weeks, I hated it! So I am now officially a chicken when it comes to my hair, but that was a different hair dresser, my new one is amazing! I'm thinking of asking her when I go next what she thinks...hhmm... **

"_**Clair? Is there any way I can go darker, get rid of my blonde and do this without my mum noticing or killing me for it?"**_

"_**No sweetheart, you mother does have eyes you know."**_

"_**Darn..."**_

**Sorry for so much rambling...I'm trying to keep my mind of law...okay, hair, hair, fashion, Gen's pretty hair colour...Gen's husband...Jared's hair...Jared....okay...I'm good now, what was I panicking about again?**

**Anybody wanna have a talk about fashion to keep my entertained while lunch tomorrow?...I'm too nervous to sleep...hhmm... Jared's hair.....**


	27. On my trail

**Test results didn't go so well, I did get a B in a mini psych test though which I did not revise for cos I was under the weather so that's awesome for me, but either way, I'm over it, past the point of caring...screw it, trying to please my teachers is certainly not more than my happiness is worth that's for sure!**

**To all the mums out there, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**On my trail**

"_You clean them guns good?" _

"_Yes sir."_

_Ron nodded when he checked them out, almost looking like he approved the quality of the cleaning._

'_So I guess today __i__s one of his good days.'_

"_What the fuck is this?" Ron asked when he saw the text book poking out from under the stained motel sheet._

"_Uh..." 'Lie! Lie__ you idiot! __Say it's for the case! Say you found it when you came in the motel! LIE!' "Um...it's my homework sir."_

"_So when you cleaned those guns you were doing your homework as well? Not paying your full attention to this job I gave you __like__ you should have been huh?!"_

'_Crap, spoke too soon!'_

"_What the hell would have happened if we're out on a hunt and my gun gets jammed cos you didn't clean it right?!" _

_Dean scoffed at the 'my gun' part...so the asshole only cared about himself on the hunt, not that he should be surprised by that now._

"_You got something to say me to me kid?" Ron asked grabbing the front of his shirt slamming his back into the bathroom door, the same back that had been nursing with 2 fresh burns this week, 'great...as if it didn't hurt enough already.'_

"_Next time I catch you with a school book I'll be making sure you write 'I shall pay full attention to my important studies __a__t __all__ times' into your skin with a fountain quill, you understand me boy?!"_

_He was dropped to the floor where he pulled himself __o__nto his hands and knees. He waited for a few seconds to see if any more punishment was in order, it was always better to receive a belt whip on the back than his front._

_He felt the wind get knocked from him when the hard back math book was thrown at his spine, ow! That was going to leave a mark._

"_S-sorry..."_

"_Pathetic freak," his uncle muttered as he slammed the door behind him. Strangely enough, he hated being name called than beaten any day, so that one...really hurt._

_He sat back and rocked himself on his he__e__ls a few times before sinking to the floor and curling in an empty ball of misery._

"Hey?!" _'What now I thought you left?!'_ "Hey Dean?!" 'Leave me _alone for just half an hour please...'_ "Dean!"

"Wha...sorry...sorry," Dean stuttered before sitting up in bed, about to rush around when he saw he had let himself fall asleep without cleaning the guns again, uncle Ron wouldn't like that, only to realise where he was.

"Dean?" someone asked making him jump and flinch at the hand on his shoulder. "Oh, sorry...it looked like you were having a nightmare, sorry."

"Sam?" Dean asked, squinting in the darkness as he turned to face the frightened voice.

"Yeah...um...are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine, uuhh..."

"What?" Sam asked hearing the shake in Dean's words.

"I need a pee, be right back," Dean said casually like nothing was up, worrying Sam all the more, this was the third night in a row Dean had either woke up screaming or Sam had to forcefully shake him to stop the tears coming down Dean's face as he tossed and turned.

Dean breathed through the dizziness that washed over him on the way to the bathroom, thankfully by the time he got to the sink it had gone. He washed his face free of the tears he knew were there and blew his nose when he felt more of them on the way. When he bent down and tossed the tissues into the bin he felt a sore pull on his back, only difference from the other nights, this was nowhere near his scars, it was right at the bottom of his spine just where his right kidney sat. He turned to the mirror avoiding his face and lifted his t-shirt to take a look.

"What the hell?" he whispered when he saw the bruise...remembering the nightmare then recognising the shape of the black blooded bruise, they matched perfectly. "Fuck fuck fuck," he cursed in his panic dropping the fabric then pacing the bathroom.

"Anybody in there?" he heard John ask with a knock.

"Uh...uh ye-ah, b-be right out si-r."

"Dean? Something wrong bud?" John asked noticing the familiar scared tone and the 'sir' at the end of the rush of words.

"N-no..." Dean swallowed the terror that was burning through his stomach and flushed the toilet before rinsing his hands and leaving the bathroom with his head low...he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the light was off, so there was a chance of hiding his red eyes and pale cheeks then.

"You okay kid?" John asked clearing not in any rush to let him go off back to bed.

"Yeah, fine...night," Dean forced a quick smile and walked off before John could see his shaking hands.

"Night kid."

"Dean, you okay?" Sam asked with a little more strength and a little more insistence.

"Fine, go back to sleep, early start tomorrow."

"Night Dean," Sam sighed knowing he was going to get about as much out of Dean as he had the other nights, which was nothing at all.

"Night."

_**SPN**_

"So you boys all packed for school?"

Yeah, I'm ready."

"Dean?" John asked as he tied his boots.

"Yes sir."

"Dean, what's up?" John asked, direct, not wasting anytime, something was bothering Dean and he needed to know what.

"Nothing."

"Come on kid, you've hardly said a word since the night you asked to go to school. If you're not ready we totally understand."

"No that...that's not it, I'm fine, can we just go? Please sir?"

"John remember?"

"Yeah, sorry," Dean turned and bit into his cheek hard.

Sam dropped his backpack and put a hand on Dean arm, he felt a subtle shake under the layers of clothing and tugged, asking Dean to face him. "Dean? I can go to school on my own, I swear I'll be okay."

"No, no I'm going, I'm fine, come on," Dean took a deep breath and shook his shoulders trying to shake away the tremors. Before walking out the door he took his own bag, his new one which happened to be Sam's old one. Mary insisted on getting a new one, she even went out to the shop in her lunch break to get him everything on the day they called the school and enrolled their new son.

She came home at gone 6pm when Sam and Dean were outside tossing the football and sneakily placed the new backpack on Dean's bed with several new pads of paper, a new pencil case, all new pens, rulers and every colored crayon you would think of, the only thing she forgot was to take the price label off the bag.

When he got back to his room, he saw the pens, the books, and right in the middle of the pile, one of those ridiculously expensive backpacks hikers use, like the one he noticed Sam used for school. Dean threw a fit but not the normal kind, he ordered Mary to take it back stating he wasn't going to scrounge off them after all they had done for him. When asked what he would use instead he picked up one of his huge duffels, it was the better of the two and even that had holes and tears in. Sam shook his head at Dean's insanity and went straight for his wardrobe grabbing his old bag from under a pile of clothes, knowing Dean was a long way from accepting any more new things. "You can use that, I got it last year but it's too big for my stuff, I haven't used it much." Dean was a little reluctant at the story but took it anyway, an expensive $80, year old bag that had never been used was better than another 80 spent on brand new one.

Today, first nervous...more like terrifying day back to school, Dean was wearing his newest jeans, shirt, boots...and newest everything really, the day Mary returned the backpack was the same day she spent at least a good $100 on new clothes. Dean only accepted them this time when Mary said she was not having Dean go to school with holes in his clothes, John backed her up and tore up, then tossed the remainder of Dean's ratty hand me downs he came to them with and said now he had no choice unless he wanted to go to school naked, it was cruel but it worked. Dean was hurt at first, went back to his silent black hole, but later that afternoon, all was forgiven when John slipped $20 into his yell tin, he was sure that was the first time he had really smiled in front of everyone.

So, new day, new clothes, new fears, the only old thing was his miserable expression as they all made their way to the car and drove off towards the school.

_**SPN**_

"So here's your timetable, I've made arrangements to have you in extra classes and there'll be a support teaching assistant with you in all your classes to help you."

Dean looked over at John, his jaw was tight as he shook his head, his eyes pleading, but also angry.

"The support won't be necessary," John told the principal glad he guessed right when Dean relaxed a little, if you could call digging his nails into the chair's armrests relaxed.

"Mr. Winchester-"

"How about we see how Dean goes without extra help for the first week and if he's struggling, then we'll talk?"

"Are you absolutely sure? Dean is entitled to every bit of extra care we can give him right from the start."

"I can assure you Dean won't need any extra care, he's a good kid and he'll work hard."

Dean felt something strange inside him when he heard that...was that pride?

"Is that everything? I'm sure Dean would like to get to class now, coming in late to class won't exactly help him I'm sure."

"Yes, yes that's everything."

"Oh and I expect this school to start being as thorough and caring with every one of my children from now on."

Dean snorted when he knew John was talking about Sam, too right they better start being caring to that kid or there was going to be hell to pay!

The principal nodded as he shook John's hand, then Dean's and let them leave the stuffy office.

"You gonna be okay from here?" John asked straightening Dean's collar for him.

"Yeah...thanks."

"You're gonna do great, knock em dead!" John cheered ruffling his hair then watching Dean as he shuffled down the hall and followed the signs for the English rooms. When he was sure no one was around to watch Dean let the shaking begin, in usual cases like this, strange adults, strange kids, he would be the hard faced asshole everyone knew not to talk to as he ended up tearing their heads off...but today, he was so scared, so confused, he felt like a little child needing to be comforted, like how he saw Sam most days.

He felt his hands shaking, he felt his knees wobble, and he his throat go dry, he wasn't sure why he was so scared, but then again, the fear of the unknown was always the worst.

He coughed hard when his throat was so dry he couldn't breathe, he pressed his hand to the wall beside him to stop himself from falling, he jumped and yelped when he felt a hand on his back.

"Dean? It's okay, come on, let's go home," John coached, knowing Dean wasn't ready.

"S-Sam," Dean choked out as he was handed a bottle of water.

"We can check on him but I'm sure he's fine."

"N-no...need to stay to look after Sam."

"Dean you don't have to, Sam will understand if you're not ready for this."

"N-no...have to, you don't back out because you're scared, you stay and f-fight to protect your fellow soldiers, watch their b-backs like they do for you."

"Dean, this isn't war, you don't have to use those army mottos in real life kid, I know what it's like to think you do but trust me, it doesn't help, what your uncle-"

"Not uncle...d-dad, he taught me not to back down...he t-taught me to carry on fighting...have to c-carry on for Sam," Dean gasped out between gulping down the water.

John sighed, Dean wasn't going to back down, he was a stubborn ass kid, sometimes it was a good thing, sometimes it wasn't, he thought in this instance it was a combination of both.

"You're a tough kid you know that," John smiled at him, helped him to stand straight from his hunched position and cupped the back of the kid's neck, rubbing away the shakes still left in Dean. "Alright, you go in that classroom and kick ass for Sammy, you meeting for recess?" Dean nodded. "See ya soldier," John gave Dean a quick man hug and watched close this time as the kid stood a little taller and walked into the classroom he knew was his, he gave an encouraging nod when the kid turned to him before he placed his hand on the door handle and pushed.

"Oh, here he is now, morning young man I'm Mrs. Weirs, you must be Dean?"

Dean nodded, he tried to look threatening to the others like he had done the rest of his school life but it didn't really work today.

"Why don't you take a seat next to Eric and he'll help you catch up I'm sure."

Dean sat down next to Eric, crossing his toes he didn't walk into a desk or something on the way, it wasn't much but it was really embarrassing in a classroom this quiet.

"Hey, I'm Eric."

Not in the mood for pleasantries with an obvious jock Dean nodded, hung his bag on the back of his chair then turned to the front ignoring everything but the clock as it ticked away slowly, inching closer to recess time.

_**SPN**_

In Sam's half of the school it was going pretty slow too, nobody had said a word to him for an hour now and he was starting to get annoyed because that included Mr. Cox.

"Sir? Could I go to the bathroom?" he asked politely and scoffed when he only got a nod.

He was quick, mostly because he didn't really need the toilet but he pretended to anyway then came back and took his seat ready to learn some more.

He didn't know what had been said while he was away but it was obviously something, the other kids weren't looking at him, and the teacher was so well spoken it was really irritating his ears.

The lesson seemed to be planned down to the tee and that was annoying too, they had started with the useless aims of the lesson and now they were onto 'had they learned what they set out to?' which no teacher followed unless they were being observed or they were in trouble like the time the old science teacher in the high school was rumoured to be _fooling around_ with a student whatever that meant.

'_Maybe somebody's observing him this lesson.'_

He looked around and saw no extra person in the room with a clip board, _'not that then. Okay is he in trouble? Has he been fooling round?'_

The bell went and he almost said 'thank god' out loud as he collected his books and put them in his bag before walking from the room in the crowd of students who surprisingly didn't trip him up on his way out.

He hung his head low on his way out and ignored his _friend_ Jordon on the way out to the front yard he told Dean to meet him in.

"Hey Dean," he smiled when he saw the older boy already waiting.

"Hey," Dean mumbled and right then he knew Dean had been having a sucky day.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, come on let's go find someplace private, this yard sucks."

He followed Dean, feeling pretty hard as Jordon and his new mates whispered as they went past.

"Dean how's your teachers?" Sam asked as he tried to keep up with the older kid walking through herds of people searching for a good place on the grounds they could claim as their own.

"Fine."

"Who did you have?"

"Dunno."

"You don't know?" Sam giggled a little as he skipped a little faster.

"Can't remember okay?" Dean snapped not even turning round to face him.

"Dean, why are you being like this?" Sam asked when they seemed to have found an empty place by the far end of the school gates.

"What?!"

"Forget it, I was just trying to be nice, I thought we were cool now," Sam mumbled as he took a seat on the ground, he thought they had gotten over the faze of Dean being mean to keep him away, guess he was wrong.

"Sam, I'm sorry okay? I just want this day to be over already."

"Why what's wrong?"

'_My back hurts, my classmates are dough bags, I don't understand a thing I was taught today, I have rumours going round about me already in the first freakin hour. Did I mention my back hurts? Oh yeah and I have another bruise on my leg this morning. How was your lesson?'_

"Nothing, school just sucks."

"Is it too hard or-?"

"Well considering that I'm a stupid idiot, the shoe fits right?"

"You're not an idiot Dean," Sam said kindly, looking over and giving Dean a quick sympathetic smile.

"Yeah well, being in that class I sure as hell feel like it."

"I can help."

"Can you be my sitter while I try to make sense of whatever the woman's saying?"

"Sure, everybody's ignoring me in my class so it's not like I'll be missed."

"Well that's cos your classroom is under surveillance," Dean smirked.

"They can do that? How come?"

"I heard this kid Eric talking about Mr. Cox and the fact that with all this business you had of not being taught the right stuff, you passing out...and all that...he's being watched and one more strike he's getting the sack."

"But...what did I do?" Sam asked sounding upset he had gotten someone in trouble, sure he wasn't crazy about Mr. Cox but he wasn't a bad man.

"Nothing, nothing, apparently the time he talked to you outside of lessons wasn't the first time he'd talked to a student and who knows what he said to you."

"But he didn't-"

"It's against school rules or something for you two to have a private conversation with the door closed and without your parents there, basically they think he's a perv."

"Dean I swear to god he didn't do anything like pervy people do, I swear," Sam vowed, thinking how dirty that was and how Dean might see him if that was going round.

"I know, you would tell me right?"

"Right," Sam nodded, his expression so innocent and truthful it hurt for Dean to look directly at the kid.

"But that's for him to worry about, just sit in class and be good okay? No more passing out."

Sam nodded, and pulled a face when he heard the bell go for them to go back inside.

"What have you got now?"

"Um, science. You?"

"Don't know, Cox usually makes it up on the spot I think, unless he's planned the whole week like he's done the first lesson." They continued the banter until Sam got to his class.

"Have fun."

"You too, bye Dean."

"See ya at lunch Sammy."

Sam grinned to himself as he sat down at his desk, maybe everyone being on their best behaviour was a good thing, at least he wouldn't get named called or tripped up today.

_**TBC... **_

Rocking the house to Elton John- I'm still standing!!! No joke!!! This song is so awesome when you need a laugh and a pick me up!!! :D

"_**You know I'm still standing better than I ever did! Looking like a true survivor! Feeling like a little kid!!"**_

**SING IT WITH ME!!!**

_*Jumps at the big person in all white with a giant butterfly net and straight jacket coming for me!*_

*****Now go check out my avatar!!! AVATAR! AVATAR!!! Cookie is Dean-y-fied-ly awesome! AVATAR AVATAR!!! Then go for more pics at my homepage link!!!! *****


	28. Me and the Devil

**Thank you for all the LiveJournal and Facebook adds lately guys!!! **

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Me and the devil**

Today was the fourth day back at school for the boys, Thursday afternoon, last period and Dean was having such a bad time he was sure he could be classed as 'depressed' by now. He felt like such a loser, such a freak, such an idiot when the teacher spoke. He almost felt like crying when he had to look over his shoulder at what his neighbour was writing to get his brain round what the task was, and that was in every single lesson, on every single question or work sheet he was handed.

After a long and rather painful day, physically and mentally, he would go home with Sam, the kid would ask how his day was, but not in a direct way like most people would, just in a casual polite manner that Dean couldn't help but smile at and tell Sam how stupid he still felt, he never told the whole truth but he owed Sam just a little right? Besides after blurting out Sam's secret to John, he most certainly owed Sam _something_, he heard the father son talk and it broke his heart when John confronted the boy about the supposed disappointment, he was sure Sam had cried with his father that night, that was when he chose to close his door and block out the mumbles by putting his head in his pillow.

When Sam looked much happier Monday evening, it was silently decided on that day Sam would be Dean's support assistant, they would look over their lesson stuff and maybe some homework for a good 2 hours together every night which was really not as bad as it sounded, if you had said to Dean 2 months ago the best part of his day would be going over school work with a 10 year old as his tutor, he would have shot your ass full of rock salt. But the thing was, when Sam explained a few things to him, just a few tiny hints or nudges, Dean got the whole day's worth of teaching. When they were done, and called for dinner, then Sam watched TV or sat talking to him while he had his half hour or so of press-ups and punching and so on.

Every night now when he had worn himself out with working out, he got in bed and considered maybe school wasn't as bad as he thought and perhaps if he just relaxed a little he would be okay the next day. That theory all turned to trash when he got to class, the teachers opened their mouths and all that seemed to come out was 'blah blah, blah blah blah!' All the feelings of being a freak and being a complete failure rushed back like a slab of concrete being swung at his head.

Things were so sucky when he was a loner in lessons, Dean had even taken it upon himself to take the empty seat at the back of every class he had, the teacher would walk in then frown as though to say 'what are you doing?'. If he kept his head down long enough until others came in and the bell went, the teachers would shrug it off and get on with the lesson. He was so relieved when they did, getting told off for moving places, having to move back and listening to fellow students laugh at his expense in the process was the last thing he needed.

But the thing that bugged him the most, just at the beginning of the year his biggest problem was how to avoid getting beaten up that day whether it was by a certain family member or something supernatural. Nowadays he freaked and had panic attacks over answering math, _'what a loser, piece of shit,'_ he heard in his ear and he knew it wasn't his inside voice speaking...that was someone else, just as familiar but twice as frightening. He swallowed the panic and forced himself to look away from the clock to the teacher, maybe the 'blah blah' would cause a distraction today, just maybe if he was lucky enough.

'_Why don't you just kill yourself already? You know you're going to hell either way, you think playing happy families is going to redeem your soul, you murdering little freak?!'_

"Young man at the back there? Are you feeling okay?" Mr. Charlseworth asked when Dean whimpered unconsciously.

Dean nodded, tapped his foot in agony as the clock ticked so sound it shook his whole body in flinches.

_**SPN**_

"Hey what happened to Mr. Cox?" Jordon whispered to Sam in the middle of their lesson with a brand new teacher.

Sam chose to ignore the betrayer and just answer his started work sheet as best he could while the new teacher went round the class asking for names so he could get to know his students.

"Hey Sam, about the other week-"

'_Great, he gets kicked out of the cool club after all of a week and now he wants to be my friend.'_

"Just leave me alone, I've got real friends I can actually count on thank you so just go away."

"I was just messing around-"

"Messing around is spilling coke on my shirt at lunch, not laughing at me, saying things behind my back with people you said you hated, and making me feel like a total loser. Just get lost, I don't need you as much as you need me dude," Sam smirked remembering the pep talk he and Dean had the other day when he told him about Jordon pointing and laughing at him constantly lately when he was meant to be his friend. Dean had told him Jordon was the loser and one day he would come crawling back when the popular kids got bored of humouring their newest tag along. He was told 'you don't need those jerks as much as they need you, trust me he'll come grovelling back and you're gonna tell him where to shove it dude.' Sam felt pretty good about himself when he actually turned his attention back to his books, no apology for telling Jordon to shove it, and no remorse whatsoever!

Dean had helped him with that, he had gotten him to tell someone to screw themselves for the first time in his life! Dean was awesome!

'_Now if I could just get him to believe that...'_

"Alright who do we have here?" Mr. Clamp asked walking towards Sam and Jordon's desks with his clip board.

"Sam Winchester."

"Like the rifle?"

"Yup, like the rifle," Sam grinned, new teach wasn't bad then.

"Cool, used to love those babies. Man I miss the old Winchester days," Mr. Clamp rambled making Sam laugh, he sounded like his dad. "And you are?"

"Jordon Smith," his ex-friend mumbled, clearly feeling guilty, feeling like a loser, and Sam didn't feel bad for that...not even a little...Dean ruled!

_**SPN**_

'_Man is this lesson gonna end? God what the hell is he even saying?!! Please don't ask me a question please please don't...'_

"Hey stop copying everything I write!" some kid next to him whined.

"_I'm only going to say this once, STOP FUCKING COPYING EVERY DAMN MOVE I MAKE! I ONLY GET ONE SHOT AT KILLING THIS THING SO FOR FUCK SAKE JUST STOP FOLLOWING ME AND GO BE THE BAIT ALREADY!"_

"AHH!!" he screamed when the belt slapped his chest so hard he almost fell off his chair.

Others around him were so confused they didn't even try to snigger or laugh, they gasped and oohed as they witnessed Dean's torture but not even knowing what they were actually seeing as their newest class member shook in pain from his place at the back of the class.

Dean could feel real blood drizzling down under his shirt and he refused to cry as he was forced to sit and compose himself as best he could. The bell went just as the teacher was about to try and do something about the obvious panic attack happening right before him.

Dean grabbed his books and bag then ran for the door when the bell went just in time. He darted to the bathroom, dropped everything then let his breakfast come up not even caring if his notes went down the toilet in his rush.

He let the grip he had on the rim of the loo go when he was finished and pushed himself up, he grabbed his books whilst trying to keep his tears in and cursed himself when he thought of how weak he was becoming, his uncle had meant to have beaten that from him years ago, why was it coming back now? Why couldn't he just be left alone? He would take being a hollow emotionless shell over this pain and shame any day.

He put his books in his bag, pulled himself together, washed his face at the nearest sink and kept his head low as he exited the empty bathroom.

He got the courtyard he and Sam had claimed and just as he saw the bright and happy kid, then something dawned on him, why he was doing all this? What was the point? Why bother? It all turns to shit anyway...what's the damn point of any of this?

"Dean? What's wrong?"

"I need to go, don't wait up," he whispered before he dropped his bag and left, left Sam, left the school, left this pointless crap hole of a fake life he was trying to build...he was just done with it all.

_**SPN**_

"Dean? Sweetie get in the car please?" Mary begged driving at 2 miles per hour matching Dean's slow walking as he came closer and closer to the 'thanks for coming to Kansas' sign. She and John had both gotten very worried calls from Sam, he was sobbing so much they could barely understand him. He said Dean had gone, he didn't know where but he had just gone. It was half an hour later of driving round that Mary saw Dean walking at the side of a very dangerous road, she had been driving with him, causing blocks in traffic for a good 20 minutes now, begging Dean to listen to her and whatever had gone wrong they could figure it out.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" Dean asked, his voice rough from the tears he had been crying all afternoon.

"Not a chance in hell."

"Hell...yeah, exactly."

"Dean _please_, get in the car."

Dean went back to ignoring her, kicking rocks as he dragged his feet across the road.

"Dean Winchester! Get in this car right now!" Mary yelled, using her mother voice to scold the boy who was now choking on shock at the surname. "I mean it young man! Now!" she ordered stopping the car, breathing a well disguised sigh of relief when Dean opened the car door and sat in the passenger seat next to her. "You are now officially grounded until next year!" with that she put the car back into drive and made a swift u-turn on the road back towards home.

They got back to the house, Sam wanted to rush for Dean, ask what the hell he was thinking, where he went and why couldn't he just talk to him already but the older kid ran upstairs. The adrenalin from his panic allowed him to push the wardrobe to jam the door good, he then sat himself in the bottom of it under his hung clothing refusing to come out.

Mary was distraught, she blamed herself for scolding Dean, she thought it was her fault Dean didn't want to come out. Sam wasn't any better, he wasn't even getting out full words past the sobs. It didn't take long or many of John's rams to the door to figure out Dean had blocked the door too well so now they were all stood by his door pleading one at a time for him to not do anything stupid or just simply to talk to them, which of course, he didn't utter a word, not even a tiny creak of the wooden wardrobe he was cramped in.

It got quiet, the pleadings had slowed down and now it was just Sam calling his name on the other side of the layers of wood.

For the first time in hours Dean finally made a noise when he felt a hand on his cheek, the hand was rough, large and most of all it was cold, it took some long minutes of struggling before he figured out it was John. He looked up past the man's shoulders and saw a ladder at his now open window...the rest was sort of easy for even someone as brainless as him to figure out.

"Thank god..." he heard John breathe as he was pulled into a tight hug. "Jesus if you ever pull a stunt like this again..." when he was taken into a tough hug, Dean whimpered rather painfully so John pulled back mostly out of shock...and when he saw the blood, John didn't know what to do.

_**TBC...**_

_***Runs and hides under a rock!***_

**Okay I swear if you review then I'll post the next chapter tomorrow hehe! I'm almost at 450!!! OMG!! **_***Faints whilst under the rock!***_


	29. Everybody needs some time all alone

**Woke up? Check.**

**Food? Check.**

**Homework completed? Check!! **_***groans!***_

**Easter prezzies wrapped? Check!**

**More food? Check!**

**Room tidied, dusted, vacuumed, bed changed looking gorgeous and smelling sweet? CHECK CHECK!!!**

**New chapter posted on the day I promised?! CHECK CHECK CHECK!!...did I mention CHECK!!??!!**

**I should totally play the 'review and you'll get a chapter tomorrow' card more often!!! Hehehe!!!**

**Thank you **_**SOOOOOO**_** much guys!!! Told you I'd be back!!!! **

**Wow I'm astounded at how much I've done today! There is a plus side to waking up at 8:30am on a day off then huh?**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Everybody needs some time all alone**

For the first time in hours Dean made a noise when he felt a hand on his cheek, the hand was rough, large and most of all it was cold, it took some long minutes of struggling before he figured out it was John. He looked up past the man's shoulders and saw a ladder at his now open window...the rest was sort of easy for even someone as brainless as him to figure out.

"Thank god..." he heard John breathe as he was pulled into a tight hug. "Jesus if you ever pull a stunt like this again..." when he was taken into a tough hug, Dean whimpered rather painfully so John pulled back mostly out of shock...and when he saw the blood, John didn't know what to do. "Oh my God...what the hell did you do Dean?"

Dean started sobbing when he felt John pulling off his clothing, more like ripping them off, trying to find the bleed, needing to know how Dean hurt himself. "Dean? Dean listen to me, where is the knife or whatever you used?"

Dean couldn't think, he couldn't breathe, let alone speak to the man, all the questions that rushed to his ears just blurred into one and he felt like vomiting, passing out, sobbing and maybe all three together at once.

Before he knew it he was in the bathroom leaning over the toilet as John held him steady, rubbing circles on his back with one hand and holding a towel to his now bare chest with the other.

He didn't know what happened from there, all he knew was he was scared.

_**SPN**_

"Dean? Dean listen to me, where is the knife or whatever you used? Dean?!" John yelled jolting the kid as he held the front of his shirt, trying to shake some sense into the lost child before him.

He let Dean drop his forehead to his shoulder, helping Dean to lean on him as he searched for the weapon, when he found a small pocket knife in his front jean pocket. He wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or bad, but it was small at least so it didn't cause too much damage.

"Dean..." he sighed, taking the little knife and keeping it deep in his own pocket.

He cursed when he heard the pitiful groan and saw the awful shade of green take over Dean's complexion. He picked Dean up, put his feet to the floor then pushed the misplaced furniture out the way enough for Mary to squeeze in and help him carry Dean to the bathroom where he puked just in time to reach the toilet.

Over the heaves he could hear Sam crying and Mary trying to comfort him, he wanted to protect everyone so badly, stop all the tears coming from everyone he cared about but all he could do for the time being was hold onto Dean and try to stop the 2 rather thin cuts from bleeding much more. He made sure the kid was partly done for the few seconds it took for him to pry the boy of his now stained shirt and he took the nearest towel within his reach from the rack above his head. He pressed it on the drizzling wounds and held the boy just a little tighter as he lost consciousness, he wasn't sure whether it was from shock or pain or both but he knew the broken boy needed to shut himself off for now so he didn't try to wake him back up and wasn't planning to anytime soon.

"God stop this boy from killing himself..." and he wasn't talking about the cutting...

_**SPN**_

"Mmgg...mooww..." Dean grunted as he reached a hand up to press on where it stung but the hand wrapped around his own stopped him.

"Dean? You with me kid?" John asked, carefully squeezing the boy's hand, willing some strength into him.

"Wha...s-sorry..." were the first things that came from Dean's mouth, he didn't know what he had done, but he knew something was up, and when something was up, he was usually the cause.

"Sam and Mary are downstairs...you shook them up pretty good."

"S-sorry."

"Dean, you can't keep torturing yourself like this, I thought you were doing okay? Why didn't you tell us things were this bad?"

"I-I don't know what happened...I...please don't kick me out...I swear I don't know what happened."

"Dean, look around you, we kept you here because we knew if we took you to a hospital they would take you away, does it look like we have any plans of kicking you out anytime soon?"

Dean didn't know how to answer that so he shrugged and turned away.

"Sam?" he mumbled not long after when he heard John's chair creak.

"Downstairs, I think you need to get some more rest and then we're calling a family meeting and you're going to talk to us about all this."

Dean sighed, he did feel like crap, but he was just too scared to go to sleep, why was something haunting him? He knew now with the latest incident that something was lingering and it wasn't natural, the thing he couldn't work out though was why his salt didn't work, once he was in his room the thing following him should have gone, unless Ron lied about salt being protective, it wouldn't be the first time he fell for one of those cruel games.

"Go to sleep Dean, I'll be here when you wake up, don't worry."

He closed his eyes and felt the darkness swallow him whole before he could change his mind.

"_Vampires hate wood, any kind, they can't stand it, burns em alive."_

'_Huh? Dad said that was just a misunderstanding with other creatures like pagan gods and such, vampires don't give a crap about wood, I remember him telling mom.'_

"_Are you sure it's wood?" _

"_Are you questioning me boy?!"_

"_N-no sir, no, I'm sorry."_

"_Good, now git over and stand guard with this stake while I go up behind it, stab it in the heart when you get the chance!"_

_Dean nodded, taking the stake of wood in both hands and holding __it __out like a blade in front of him, prepared to strike, honoured his uncle was giving him the chance to try to kill something._

"_Hey there little boy, seems you're lost huh?" some sadistic freaky man said from behind him, he glared as he turned and rammed the stake into its chest, right where the creature's hollow black dead heart lay. He cried out when the man laughed before twisting his arm round, snapping something without breaking a sweat. "Silly silly boy, don't you know that only works on make believe movies like Buffy?"_

_Dean let himself fall to the floor in agony before he screamed once again in shock as a loud squelch and a thud rang out. _

"_Man you dumb little shit, you'll believe anything," Ron laughed, standing there with a blooded machete in his hand. "Get the hell up, don't even think about puking in my car!"_

_When he stood and lead the way out the woods, Dean felt a hard slap round the back of his head, Ron thought the cruel swat was funny, his face was like he had just given someone a wedgie, not slapped a poor 11 year old boy round the head, making him trip once again and sob as he landed on his damaged limb._

"_Pathetic."_

_**SPN**_

Dean jolted awake from his miserable dream and looked around.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?"

'_So I guess Mary is on suicide watch now then.'_

"Fine, I feel fine, c-can I go see Sam?" he asked, using his puppy eyes as best he could, he really needed to see Sam, make sure he was okay, make sure he didn't hate him for leaving him alone at school.

"He's pretty shaken up right now honey."

'_Guess that's a no.'_

"Maybe you can bring him around, he's been silent since you...since he realised you hurt yourself."

Dean nodded in understanding, he knew for sure now he didn't do this to himself, he didn't cause the cuts on his chest, the thin slicesthat didn't really cause any damage whatsoever, but when you got a few of them round in one place to party, they stung like a mother and could bleed a fair bit.

He didn't hurt himself like everyone suspected, but compared to saying he was being stalked by some invisible supernatural creature, it was a lot more rational and certainly easier to go along with. But he needed to get Sam to know he didn't do this to himself, he needed to tell the boy that when he walked away from school, that was just temporary, Sam _had_ helped him! He _was_ helping! He _didn't_ cut himself damn it!

He pushed himself from the bed and made his way to where he heard soft cries inside the kid's room.

"Sam?" he asked, knocking on the door before he pushed it open only to find it stuck half way. "Sammy what are you-?" he asked when he saw the chair in front of the door stopping him from opening it all the way.

"What?!! You did it!!" Sam spat, but he still couldn't see the kid.

"Sam, I need to talk to you."

Sam sniffled, it sounded like he was trying to stop the cries as Dean held in a deep breath and pried himself through the small gap in the door.

"Sammy?" Dean asked finding the boy on the other side of the bed with his knees to his chest and tears soaking his face. Making sure no one was listening in, and also lowering his voice to a tiny whisper, Dean sat himself down next to Sam and spoke. "Sam, I didn't hurt myself, it wasn't me I swear, it was something...one of those things from my past, I don't know what but I swear on my parents' graves, I didn't hurt myself, I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't, I just can't do that, not now I know somebody in this world gives a crap about me," the older boy vowed.

When Sam lifted his head to meet Dean's honest eyes he let out a relieved sob when he could tell Dean wasn't lying. He let his body fall to the side where Dean caught him and hugged his small curled up frame and whispered more promises in his ear.

"I-I got really scared when y-ou...you left."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just flipped out that's all, I swear it won't ever happen again."

"B-but how do you know? What if...what's hurting you Dean?"

"I don't know...but it's not so bad, a few bruises can't keep me down for long."

"How are you gonna fix it? Make it go away? What if it gets my parents Dean?"

"It won't get them Sam, and it won't get you, I think it's after me, but...I'll figure it out, I'm good at that sort of stuff."

"You promise you'll kill it before you get really hurt?"

"Yup, promise," Dean hated himself for crossing his fingers behind his back when he said that last line before Sam nodded, the trust in his eyes killing Dean.

_**SPN**_

It was later in the evening when the family meeting was called, all of them sitting at the kitchen table waiting for someone to speak, much to everyone's shock it was Dean who opened his mouth.

"So what is this, an ambush?"

"No...it's called an intervention," John informed.

"Isn't that the same thing?" Dean asked, making jokes, hoping they would see he wasn't clinically depressed or something, but the adults didn't seem to find the humour in any of his words.

"No, an ambush is defined as an unexpected attack from a concealed position, and an intervention is when a group of loved ones ban together to help one of their own make a difficult decision."

"So you're my loved ones?" Dean smirked, but stopped his poor attempts when the others just looked upset. "What's the decision I have to make?" Dean mumbled.

"Whether you decide you need help, professional help."

"I'm not nuts."

"Dean, sane people certainly don't cut their own chests."

Dean growled low, angry at the man's remark.

"That came out wrong...you know what I mean."

"I don't need a shrink, I'm fine."

"Dean the only way we're going to believe that is if you tell us everything that happened today."

Luckily, by this time Dean had thought of the perfect story to cover himself, making them aware he wasn't nuts and he wasn't a haunted hunter either, it was a story so confusing it made sense.

"I just...I had a bad class, I felt stupid, I wanted to just be by myself for a while, I found a spot by the back of the school and then these guys came past, tried to get me to drink with them, I just ignored them and one of them said to me that I looked like some dead freak and I flipped, I just carried on walking, when you found me and we got home...I guess I wanted to prove them wrong by bleeding, I just got lost in my own head and I'm sorry."

"Who was it?" John asked carefully as he pinched the bridge of his nose, man being a father of 2 was stressful!

"I don't know, never seen them before, they had a weird accent though so I think they were foreign."

"Dean, you won't do it again will you? You won't listen to people like that, you told me not to listen to bullies," Sam said, mostly for his parents' benefit.

"Learned my lesson," Dean chuckled.

"Kids you two are going to give me a heart attack. This is the last time you ever going to own anything sharper than a knitting needle Dean," John warned, taking the recently confiscated pocket knife and showing Dean the blade. The boys heart skipped a beat when he saw it had dried, red blood on it, still fresh...what the hell?!

"I second that," Mary said shaking her head.

"Can we go watch TV now?" Sam asked with a smile lighting up the room.

"You can, Dean's grounded for running away again and for owning such a weapon and not telling us about it."

"For how long?" Sam whined.

Dean was so glad the attention was now on Sam so he could compose himself a little.

"As long as we decide, now go, me and your mother need to talk."

They both nodded, then let out a 'oh god...' when they were out of hearing reach and up the stairs.

"Dean, I can't keep lying to my parents...please?" Sam begged.

"I know...I don't like it either but...I'm trying to protect you, do you understand that? The less people that know, the better...sometimes I wished you didn't know."

"I understand but...it's hard lying all the time...I just feel like every new lie needs another lie and another and...I'm going to be lying to them, thousands of times for the rest of my life."

"Sam...I'm sorry..." Dean said before things dropped silent and both boys were stood in the end of the hall staring at each other, neither of them knowing what to do.

_**TBC...**_

**Now I'm off to eat more food and chill...do I deserve another review for all my hard work today? If you say yes in a review I'll love you forever and send an invisible Easter egg in the post! :D**


	30. Knock on wood

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Knock on wood**

It was now the Friday before they broke up for Easter, yesterday night was strange and very tense but they pulled through, Dean was told that he was not to go back to school until he was much more adjusted in John and Mary's opinion. But for all Dean knew that could be forever so this morning he snuck out of his bedroom, climbed down the trellis and met Sam at the school gates and went off to his first lesson.

"Alright kids, today the only machines I want on is the sanders, you all know the rules, Liam, rule number 1?"

"Always wear protective goggles whether you're next to a machine or not."

"Good, Adam, number 2?"

"Always respect the machines and don't do anything stupid around them."

"And number 3 Corey?"

"Don't use anything you're not confident with."

"Perfect, right get on with your work, I wanna some progress today," Mr. Dobinson dismissed them from their stools and let them get on with their projects. "Uh, Dean? Dean Turner?"

Dean grumbled when his name was called, he turned round from the crowd of chattering students and walked towards the teacher at his desk.

"So I hear you're new here?"

"Yes sir."

He nodded, it was hard to read but Dean thought it was one of those filler nods.

"So, my class at this level is required to make something in wood, it can be as big or small as you like, I only have a few rules."

'_Man this guy is big on rules huh?'_

"One, you must pick something that requires you to use at least every machine once, and two, it must be worthwhile, no use in killing a tree for your project to go in the trash."

Dean nodded.

"So, I got a few kids making bird feeders, a few making jewellery boxes for their moms, one kid's making a kids game for his little brother. You got any ideas looking round?"

Dean turned to the rest of them busy with the loud sanding machines and shrugged, he had a perfect idea but he wasn't telling this guy.

"Okay, here's your booklet, this is a 4 week task, and when you're done you'll have all the notes you need for making whatever you want, I want plans and drawings and the rest is pretty self explanatory, all the information you need is on posters all around the room, if you need any help just holler."

Dean nodded, took the booklet and tried to suppress an eye role, with how thick this book was, no wonder it took 4 week to fill in before you did any real work.

He went on the opposite side of the room the others and the machines were, sat down at a work bench on a really uncomfortable stool and opened his booklet.

Section 1 was on health and safety rules, Dean only had to look past his nose to see that particular rules poster. By the 4th page of answering what seemed like the same set of questions over and over again he was starting to get pissed off, but he copied the posters and worked as fast as he could, no way he was sitting here for 2 hours copying crap and not actually doing any real work. This guy said 'worthwhile!' how was any of this repetitive junk worthwhile? Sure, it was probably school board rules to cover basics with practical and dangerous lessons such as this, but half of this book was just pure crap!

He looked at the clock, half an hour had gone before he had scribbled down the hundreds of woodwork regulations. _'Finally, section 1 over with!'_ Then he cursed internally when he saw the next section, 5 pages, front and back just for plans on what you were going to make.

'_You gotta be kidding me!'_

He turned the page over, skim reading the rest of the booklet, there was pages on machinery, sections on what the market had to offer, pages on fill in the missing words about tools, how to sand properly, alternative methods to attach wood together whether it be nails, glue, and so on. 40 damn pages of worthless nonsense! It was official, this booklet was taking the proverbial piss!

"Screw this," he mumbled to himself, he looked up, no teacher around, perfect!

'_I know what I want to make, these rules are common sense, a monkey could follow the bright red instructions on the machines, and I don't need no damn plans on what my front and back view was going to be, I can take a damn picture when I'm done making the actual thing! And why the hell would I wanna know what somebody else has made to sell? What, just to prove how bad high school students are at this subject compared to professionals?'_

He stood, grabbed the wood he thought would be appropriate from the scrap box and got to work near the others so he would blend in well and the teacher who was kind of crowed with screaming scared girls on machines wouldn't notice he was making something.

He hummed and picked up a few tools from the cupboard, he wasn't sure what he would need, or what half of the stuff was but the only way to find out was to try them out, not all this research and plan and safety rules crap! Though he did get himself a nice shiny pair of safety goggles, he may be fed up with some rules but there was no use in being an idiot.

_**SPN**_

The bell for break time rang so Dean left his tools and half completed project where it was next to some others and left in the queue rushing to the door. Mr. Dobinson was still all over the workshop, so Dean was lucky he hadn't been caught.

He left to go meet Sam and listened for a good 15 minutes as the little kid rambled about all kinds of things, barely stopping for breath making Dean chuckle quite a few times. He was sure Sam had talked about every conceivable topic other than what had gone down the previous day before he asked what Dean was getting up to in woodwork.

"Nothing much, this damn teacher is obsessed about rules, all that class is about is shit loads of note making and not actually doing anything with wood, until you turn gray!"

Sam laughed at Dean's rant, it was funny to hear him mad about something so normal for kids their age, it was also funny how much the regular teenage stuff stuck out with Dean amongst all the other crap.

The bell went once again and Dean told Sam he would come to his classroom for lunch, he wanted to hide the handmade gift he was currently making for the Winchester family before Sam saw it at his own classroom. It wasn't going to be much, but it was a start after everything he had put on them since he came to town, what Sam said yesterday about the lies he was sick of was still going round in his head, making him feel more guilty than ever.

"See you Dean."

"Bye Sammy," Dean smiled a quick see you later then headed off to his own class, getting there just in time for the rush of fellow classmates to flood in the room again.

He picked his lump of weirdly shaped wood up and went to the unused drill machine; he needed to test that bad boy out! The sanders made so much noise when in use, which was pretty much nonstop today, they drowned out every other machine Dean tried, he was having a blast and hadn't cut off or sanded through his fingers once, who says you need to know all the rules of the damn booklet to be a pro at woodwork? Plus this class was cool for not being bothered by other students, they were all busy rushing round the room, trying to find tools others were done with, and waiting in lines to use the sanding machines to even notice what Dean was doing, so he was left to his own devices and he was really enjoying it.

He was in the middle of more sanding before he got caught. The teacher, when free of the pupils who had either screwed up their work or something similar, had wandered over to Dean stray booklet on the workbench at the top of the room and found Dean with his pile of tools at the bottom of his classroom.

"Dean, is your booklet complete?" he asked as the kid set down his sand paper.

"No sir."

"Then why are you over here with wood and tools for one thing? Let alone the other machines you've clearly used when you haven't even gone over these instructions and rules thoroughly."

"I-ah, I was-uh-" _'Okay, of all the time you've had while doing your therapeutic sanding why didn't you come up with a damn line when this guy caught you out? DUH!'_

"Huh...that's pretty good, where did you find this?" the teacher stopped staring Dean down long enough to check his work out.

"Uh, I'm sorry sir?"

"This car, a lot of other students in higher grades might make things like this, where did you find it? If you're truthful with me now I won't report you for theft."

"Uh...I made it sir, I didn't steal it."

"Dean, look you're the new kid, sometimes it can be hard trying to fit in and maybe you wanted to claim something that you thought looked cool-"

"Sir I'm telling you I didn't steal it, I just thought I'd try this wood stuff out and I know what my design looks like by heart so I didn't need to plan anything."

The teacher scoffed, he shook his head, taking Dean's work from him, nodding for the kid to follow and walking through the back classroom door where they ended up in another class filled with seniors.

Mr. Dobinson left him by the door to go talk to the other teacher at the top of the room.

Dean liked the look of this class, sure it was filled with older kids but they seemed to be much more confident in their wood craft than his class, _they_ were too busy screeching at loud machines to actually make anything half decent. Though saying that, some of the seniors work was a little untidy, slobby even, some of them were making things much bigger than his class and it wasn't going well for them he could see, the more he saw, the prouder it made him over his own work.

He stopped gawking round the room long enough to see his teacher's eye go wide and the other one too.

Mr. Dobinson walked back to him and they went back to the other class. "Alright Dean, I want you to finish this in the other classroom, Mr. Clif will help you if you need it. You can take the booklet for homework when you have time, the other designs, just make something up, no one will be any the wiser." Dean was handed back his almost completed lump of wood and his booklet, his backpack pushed in his spare hand then ushered away to the senior classroom before he could even ask 'what the hell?'

'_Uhh...what do I do now?' _He thought, standing in the doorway of the senior class looking rather frightened, his things almost falling from his hands, feeling like such a little kid for the first time in months compared to all these, he was so used to being the older one with Sam.

"Hey kid you need help?" someone asked taking his work and setting it on a bench nearest. "I'm Tim, Clif-ster is busy with marking so I've been appointed to get you settled in. He says you've been bumped up to our class cos of your talent in this subject, not bad kid," Tim smirked at his wood while Dean's eyes went wide in shock.

'_I've been moved up into a senior class cos of my talents in woodwork? Oh my god I'm good at something in school? I'm a woodwork nerd?'_

"The stuff in here is pretty high tech compared to that room so some of it can be a little confusing but, hey at least you're passed the class of dumb rules huh?"

Dean smirked, he was turning red in fact, in a good way for the first time since he could remember!

"Uh...t-thanks," Dean stuttered before Tim left to go back to his own work, when he saw what the older lad was making, he was grateful the person offering him help if he needed it was making something pretty awesome himself. It was a babies cot, but one that looked really well made, unlike some of the other crap these guys were making.

He hummed happily to himself as he sat down at a much comfier stool and a brand new work bench, he found himself some different kinds of sandpaper, that too was of a much better quality than in the other class, and knuckled down with his work and started sanding once again, hoping he wouldn't run out of time before the dinner bell went.

_**SPN**_

Sam huffed when he didn't see Dean outside his classroom, he waited for a good 5 minutes until the corridors were empty, everyone else outside eating lunch or down in the cafeteria. He thought maybe he heard Dean wrong or they got mixed up so he wandered outside the school and went to their usual spot but still found no Dean.

Remembering he had woodwork he went to the other side of the school, trying not to look like a loner, trying to look like he was busy, which he was. He found the classrooms and stood in the doorway, still seeing no Dean, and only an old guy in the top corner of the class doing what looked like marking.

"You lost kid?" Mr. Dobinson asked, knowing kids Sam's age don't hang round technology classrooms.

"Um, I'm looking for Dean."

"Oh, he's in the other class through there, go if you want," he nodded Sam back to the door behind him so the little kid shuffled himself and twisted the knob on the door, his hand coming away dusty from the wood in the air.

"Uh, Dean?" Sam asked seeing him at the top end of the class surrounded by other kids that were really old and really scary.

"Sam, close your eyes it's not done!" Dean ordered when he heard the kid calling, he tried to hide his almost complete work behind him shielding it from Sam. "Sit down and don't peek," Dean said handing Sam a posh stool, the older kids were mumbling between themselves and it was sort of hard to read whether it was good or bad.

"Dean I thought we were going for lunch?"

"Uh yeah, you can go if you want."

"Oh," Sam hung his head low, Dean was popular now then, hanging round with old seniors and skipping lunch to be with them.

"What?" Dean asked, knowing from that tone he had done something wrong.

"Nothing, I'll see you at home," Sam stood from the stool only stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, when it was taken away he was left with one dusty hand print.

"Hey Sam wait, I um...I got moved up into this class and you can stay here in lunch time to do work, I wanna get it finished but we can go for food if you want."

"Can I stay?" Sam asked, excited he understood now.

"Sure, just don't touch anything, and watch your fingers Sir Cluts-A-Lot."

"I'm not that stupid!"

"No you're just that clumsy."

Sam scoffed, folding his arms before looking over atsome of the seniors chuckling at their big brother VS little brother banter.

"What are you making?" Sam asked when he got bored of the silence.

"Not telling, can you do me a favour though?" Dean whispered getting out his booklet.

"Sure."

"Can you come up with a few designs in wood? Like bird cages and stuff, doesn't have to be great but...I kinda cheated and went onto the wood before I planned it."

Sam laughed, bored of writing, sounded like Dean.

"Okay, but hurry up, I'm hungry."

Dean nodded, happy when Sam turned his back to him and his wood, he got on with the final stages of his carving.

Sam only looked up when he heard Dean walking over to the older kids and mumbling a quiet word to them, when Dean looked at him, his expression not impressed, he turned round trying not to giggle.

"Hey uh, how do I write on this and not make it look like a bum?" Dean mumbled to Tim before glaring at a nosey Sam.

"Oh, well for that you want the engraving stuff, Clif-ster keeps it in his draw."

They walked over to the teacher's desk and Tim opened a draw with a little box inside that he handed Dean.

"What do you wanna write? Like words or a picture or-?"

"Um, just words, like 'To' and who I'm making it for," Dean said happy he was getting more confident in his speech to strangers, things were looking up.

"Hey you okay kid?" Tim asked when just as Dean thought things were getting better, his back began to burn.

"Uh, y-yeah, fine."

"Seriously, maybe you should see the nurse."

"I'm fine, how do you work this thing?" he asked hoping to get his composure back before Sam noticed.

"Uh, you need this little thing, it's just like a really sharp tiny blade and you just write with it like you would a pen, you got neat hand writing?"

"Yep!" he heard Sam yell so once again he glared.

Tim laughed, handing the tiny carver over to Dean and letting him go back to work.

It was pretty quick to write into the wood at the bottom of his work so he made Sam close his eyes before he grabbed his bag and shoved his work down the bottom, he said a quick thanks and see you next week to Tim and the others, got a shocking 'have a good Easter guys,' back, before they went for what little time they had left of lunch.

"Dean please?"

"Nope."

"Why not! Please?"

"Because I said so, you'll see it when we get home."

"Jerk."

"It's been said, bitch," Dean smirked before they shared a sandwich and chips courtesy of Sam's packed lunch from Mary.

That afternoon Mary and John were very surprised and annoyed to receive a phone call from the attendance officer saying the student they had reported as being absent and withdrawn from their school had been in every class that morning.

They both prepared to yell at Dean for going against their instructions but the next call had made their anger turn a 180. It was Dean's wood work teacher, applauding the boy with an invitation into the plus classes for resistant materials AKA woodwork. They asked what the plus class meant and they were told it had only happened about twice in the entire history of the school that a child had been moved up to a senior class, and never had it happened so quickly as it did with Dean. Both Mary and John couldn't contain their pride over the kid, it had been decided, they were going to celebrate this evening! Sammy got a new game and a meal out when he got a good grade in his exams, Dean was going to be no different.

_**TBC...**_

**I made 2 vids for this fic over on my youtube (link on profile where you will also see a new avatar!) **

**The first: *B/W one* **it's bad...possible one of the cruddiest things I've made but meh...I tried right? But you get to see what Ron looks like in my head and Dean all bruised up...

**The second: *sepia tone* **well it's much better, not the best but hey there's only so much you can do with WMM and very few clips of Ridge, go see for yourselves :D

**Nobody here by any chance rocks at making vids do they? X **


	31. Soldier On

**I'm having one of **_**those**_** mornings where you just wanna cry as opposed to going to college...BLAH! But in 2 hours I'll be back in bed and able to sleep...that is the only thing that is keeping my hanging on right now... **_***sob sob! Drags self to psychology...* **_**Can I crawl there?**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Soldier On**

"Hey kids, have a good day at school?" John asked as they got in the Impala, when the phone call with Mr. Dobinson was over John rang the school reception and told the woman on duty to tell both Dean and Sam he was going to pick them up at 3 and could she pass on the message, seems like they did.

"Um Mr. Win-"

"Dean, not a word, no Mr. Winchester, and certainly no apology, going back to school today took some guts kid and I'm proud of you."

"So, you're not mad at me for sneaking out?" Dean asked biting his lip as he looked up into the mirror trying to read John's face.

"I didn't say that, I'm not happy you didn't tell us and we had to find your room empty again but I guess you had good reason, besides I very much doubt you would have made it to school today if you had told us."

"Um...thank you?" Dean asked, not sure whether John was praising him or just talking in general.

"You're welcome, you kids got any homework?"

"Yeah, I got science," Sam said with a smile lighting up the vehicle.

"And you Dean?"

"Uh yeah, I got woodwork stuff I missed in class."

"Well, it's gonna have to wait, we're going out celebrating."

Sam laughed, trying to hide his smirk, he knew what his dad meant when he used that voice and those words.

Dean was just left to frown, really confused. He looked over at Sam and silently asked 'what's going on?'

"Dean? Wanna tell us how you're day went?" John asked, not subtle at all, the only trouble was, everyone caught on but Dean.

"Uh...it was okay."

"Okay? That's it? Just _okay_?" John nudged.

"Yeah...uh...I made something."

"Wow, you made something in your first woodwork lesson? Must be a pro huh?"

"Ah...no?"

Sam continued to giggle, he felt awful though and immediately stopped when Dean's hurt and very confused eyes shot at him again.

Giving up the teasing once he saw how lost Dean looked, he pulled into their drive, stopped the engine, turned to face the kids in the back and spoke, "Dean, we're going out to celebrate your achievement, family tradition."

"What achievement?"

"Dean you know," Sam said sighing at how low Dean was thinking of himself again.

"A little birdie told me and Mary you've been moved up, into the plus senior class no less, now that kiddo, is something to celebrate," John assured.

"Uh, I don't get it, why? I mean what for? I don't understand," Dean admitted before he looked to his hands in his lap.

"Dean, I know it's pretty strange for you but basically, when Sammy gets a good grade or he achieves something in school, we go out and have a nice family meal and celebrate, sometimes there's ice cream and if you're really lucky, there's a new video game with your name on it."

When Dean looked hurt, kind of insulted also, Sam sighed once again, why couldn't Dean just take a gift, or a compliment and say thank you?

Sam left the car and went to his room quickly, hoping his father could talk some sense into Dean because he was getting nowhere, maybe he wasn't enough? Maybe Dean needed a better friend than him?

Still sat awkwardly in the front seat, John turned even more to face Dean, he needed to get something through that kid's stubborn skull, whether it took him all night, the gear stick up his ass would be worth it if the kid listened just this once.

"Dean, listen to me kid, this isn't a way for us to tell you that to get treats or for us to be proud you need to get grade A's at school."

Dean sighed, sure it wasn't.

"Okay, you don't believe me, so I'm going to tell you a story, when Sammy was in kindergarten he came home with a fail in his letter and numbers test, he cried for hours, I can practically still count the number of tissues he went through. But you know what? We went out to pizza hut anyway, he got ice cream too, _and_ a new toy because despite the grade, he got effort A+, because he tried. So you can come home with all E's and F's and even Z's for all we care, but as long as we know you tried that's all that matters."

Dean smiled, it was only one side of his mouth that tugged up because he was trying to suppress it for some strange reason but it was a smile none the less.

"Today, you might have gotten an A++++ for moving up so high in the space of an hour, but it's the fact that you pushed yourself into going back to school and you pushed yourself in your lessons that's the reason for us being proud. Not many people could go into a senior class at your age and be as comfortable there as the teacher told us you were."

'_Huh...didn't even think Mr. Clif was paying that much attention to be honest.'_

"I know I couldn't have at 14."

After a quick squeeze of the shoulder, Dean looked up from his lap. "Chocolate," he mumbled.

"What?" John asked not understanding.

"Ice cream, I only like chocolate," Dean informed him.

"Awesome!" John cheered, he ruffled Dean's cropped hair then got out of the car with the young and rather happy boy in tow.

"You and Sammy need to decide who gets the shower first, table's booked in an hour."

Dean nodded then went up the steps, a happy hop in his step.

"Sam? You want the shower first?" Dean asked walking in the kid's room.

"No, you can go in."

"Uh-huh, no way, you're not getting a look at my lump of wood while I'm in the shower, your turn first, have fun," Dean smirked laughing a little when Sam glared and punched him playfully on the arm.

He let his smile drop when the kid was out of sight, he was starting to freak out about the gift, what if it sucked? What if it was lame? When would he present it to them? It was just too big-head-ish to tell them all to gather up and say 'Tadar!'

He left Sam's room and sat himself on his own bed taking out all the notes from the other lessons then getting out his work, twisting it in his hands, pulling his nose at how _not_ right it looked compared to the real thing he was just sat in.

He had thought so long and twiddled the wooden thing between his hands so much he was surprised when he heard the shower turn off.

Knowing he only had a few seconds of leeway before he would be caught he ran to Sam's room across the hall using his tip toes to make sure he was silent, he placed his work on the kid's pillow.

"Mom? Is my blue shirt down here?" he heard Sam yell obviously out of the bathroom and now downstairs. He ran straight into the bathroom, clicked the lock on and turned the shower on before stripping from his clothes and getting under the spray.

It didn't even hurt his fresh cuts, they had healed so quick they had closed already, he didn't even need the thin band aid strips today, for which he was grateful, it was gross having sticky bandages and things on his body so often, he really needed to get out of that habit already.

"Ow," he whined when his upper back started to make itself known, he cranked his neck and rubbed with one hand where his scars laid under his shirt, he let his hand drop when he knew the dull ache was going to be there all day unless he stopped thinking about it.

But maybe that was it? Maybe it wasn't hurting, he just thought it was, because he was thinking about it so much, every time he felt happy he thought about it because he knew he shouldn't be happy, he had no right to. Then every time he was feeling low he thought about it, because he was low about the things that his back scars surrounded. Maybe he was going insane. Maybe he wasn't haunted either, he just needed that abuse, or rather that painful payback so bad he thought he was haunted, hell, that pocket knife John retrieved from him did have his own fresh blood on, maybe he was starting to self harm and his crazy mind just made up some lame story to make him feel better.

"What the hell am I saying? God I _am_ losing my mind."

"Dean?!" he heard Mary call.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Clean clothes are outside sweetie."

"Um, thanks," he replied, now regretting leaving the gift in plain sight, maybe he could get out of the shower, take it back and trash it before Sam saw it.

"Mom! Dad! Come look!" he heard Sam yell with great excitement, '_crap, too late!'_

"_Then again you never could do anything right could you?"_

Dean wanted to tell the voice to go screw itself, but he knew it was right, the Winchesters had been trying to tell him, he and the voice had been wrong all these years, but his Uncle knew him better than anyone, who was he to disrespect that?

"_More like it, obedient little dog when you're having a pouty moment aren't you?"_

'_Please...can't I just have today?'_

Of course, he got no reply.

_**SPN**_

"Mom! Dad! Come look!"

"What is it Sammy?" his mother asked coming up the steps.

"Mom look what Dean made for us!" Sam practically squealed.

"Wow, that's amazing," she gasped when she saw what Sam had in his hands, she took a quick look smiling like a proud mother at the work then gave it back to her youngest knowing he was eager to go show John. "Go on you big goof."

Sam grinned at her then shot from his room calling for his dad, it was then when he met with Dean in the hall.

"Dean this is _so_ cool!"

Dean twiddled his thumbs, he didn't think so.

"Can I show my dad?" Sam asked with a smile reaching his eyebrows.

Dean only shrugged, draining the younger boy of all his excitement.

"What's wrong? I though you wanted to give it to us?"

"Yeah, yeah sure, knock yourself out kid."

"Dean, seriously, what's up?"

"Nothing, just...I dunno, bummed all of a sudden, I dunno, sorry I'm being such a downer all the time."

"Dean you don't have to be sorry for being sad you know, it's just normal, that's like saying sorry for breathing or sorry I can tie my own shoe laces, it's just something you do. Saying sorry for being bummed, well that's silly," Sam stated, deliberately using any word he could apart from stupid knowing what Dean was like and how he would take that phrase.

Dean once again, shrugged.

"Come on, I wanna show my dad," Sam smiled tugging on Dean's clean shirt before the older boy reluctantly followed downstairs. "Dad look what Dean made," Sam said, this time in a happy calm tone rather than a screeching happy squeal.

"Jeez kid you made this in one day?" John gasped, his baby, Dean had made a replica of his baby! In one freakin day and it was amazing! "...okay you get 3 scoops of ice cream for this tiger."

"It's not varnished or anything, I tried to finish it but there wasn't time and Sam needed to eat and the wheels are all wonky and the back's not right-"

"Hey, it's great Dean, it's freakin perfect," sure a little of the angles were off around the wing mirrors and some parts were still a little rough around the bonnet area but those little things just seemed to add to the model's charm, just like his very own baby outside. He then looked on the bottom and wanted to cry, he wasn't sure if it was in sadness for the boy or just love, maybe Dean didn't expect him to have taken Latin classes when he was younger. _"__**Ubi mei, ibi amor." **_The message was deep and really heartfelt for a boy of that age to know and write on a gift, not to mention for who Dean was. So it was obviously some quote the boy had heard, little did he knew it was Dean's mothers favourite family motto, that line was often heard when he was a child and to this day, it had never been forgotten.

John saw the boy turn a painful shade of red and his heart broke once again.

"Huh...well for a kid who thinks he's not so smart you sure as hell beat me in languages, what is that? Italian?" he asked with an expression even Sam fell for.

"Um, it's kinda lame..."

John could hear the pain in the kid's words as he insulted his message, so it must mean a _lot_ to the boy, he had to mend that pain this instant! "It's not lame at all Dean, not one bit. Okay, it's fair to say this baby's definitely going on the fireplace." John moved the glass candle stand from the top right hand corner of the sill and put it on the marble part underneath then firmly placed Dean's work, it was a little wobbly on the wheels but who cares, like he said, not many things made from wood had this much character. He turned once again, and grinned at the boys, both smartly dressed in their best jeans and more importantly, both looking happy wearing small smiles. "Mar?! You ready dear?!" he yelled towards the steps.

"I'm coming I'm coming," she said rushing downstairs.

Dean could smell her perfume from the fireplace but it was different from her usual, must be one of those smells women save for special occasions.

"Arms up boys," she smiled before dowsing Sam without warning in John's deodorant and some of his aftershave on the kid's wrist, before he could back up and protest Dean was next.

"Moo'oo'oom!" Sam whined so long the short word came out in 3 syllables.

As the boys bent over and choked in shock mostly, John just stood there and laughed as Mary smiled at her handy work.

_**SPN**_

"I did not!" Sam whined.

"Oh yes you did, lipstick, high heels and everything, you made a very pretty girl though," Mary teased.

"I did not, Dean they're lying!"

"Sammy we got pictures to prove it."

"Oh I gotta see those!" Dean grinned laughing at the young boy who was redder than the pizza hut logo he was facing.

"You are so mean to me," Sam huffed trying on the hurt act, it didn't take long for it to break and he was left laughing with everyone else.

"Are you guys ready to order?" a waiter guy asked with a pen and a pad.

"Yeah, Sammy you want a kids Hawaiian?" Mary asked knowing her son always picked that, she didn't even really need the nod the boy gave her. "Coke?" Sam once again nodded and Mary only smiled once at the waiter motioning for him to write that down before she continued, "I'll have half a Ham and Mushroom, and lime and lemon without ice."

"And you sir?"

"I'll have the Hot 'N' Spicy deep pan, salad bowl and half a pint of lager, thanks."

The man then turned to Dean who was eagerly waiting to give his choice so he could eat already! This place smelt good!

The man's smile turned dark and his nose curled up as he looked down at Dean like he was looking at trash. "What does the murderous little shit want?"

"W-what?" Dean asked his voice hitching and throat closing rapidly.

Only in the space of one blink, the man's snarl was gone and replaced by a casual smile.

"I asked what you wanted kid?" the man repeated carefully.

"Oh, um...just pizza."

"Yeah, any preference?" the man joked, unfortunately Dean, nor John, Sam or Mary found it funny.

"Uh," he looked over at Mary and John for help, his mind was just blank, well, not blank, more like his calm happiness had been replaced by utter terror distracting every other thought and word he wanted to speak.

"You wanna try a kiddies plain margarita?" John asked.

Dean nodded.

"Coke? You like coke?" Mary asked next knowing how much kids loved that stuff, if it was up to Sam to make the drink choices in their house, the kid wouldn't have any teeth left that's for sure.

Dean once again nodded then breathed a sigh of relief when the waiter wrote it down and left with their done with menus.

"You okay Dean?" Sam asked when he could feel Dean was shaking.

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks," he mumbled to them all before he lowered his head and started picking at the table to cause a distraction for himself only to be stopped by Mary's soft hand over his.

"Relax honey, we're here to have fun," she rubbed her thumb on the top of his hand before dropping it and simply smiling at the boy.

They hadn't talked for long before their orders came.

They were all devouring their meals, the boys were now on the second round of drinks but one thing was off, Dean looked utterly miserable with his food.

"Wanna try some peppers Dean?" John asked hoping the kid had his appetite and taste for food.

"Um, no that's okay," Dean whispered before he went back to his extremely boring pizza, shocked when he saw 2 slices of John's hot and spicy on his plate seconds later.

"Way too hot for me today," John gasped and Sam giggled when his dad turned red with the hot flavours still in his mouth.

Dean laughed, then dropped his okay but dull slice to pick up one of the others, surprisingly, it was amazing! Kind of hot yeah, but pizza tasted so much better when it had plenty of toppings on it.

_**SPN**_

"Ice cream good boys?" Mary asked when both kids were shovelling it in their mouths with sweets and all the additives you could get.

"Mom we need to come here more often," Sam informed with a mouth full of white ice cream and smarties.

Dean with a full mouth chose to nod whilst smiling, he hadn't felt this happy, this normal in such a long time, who says normal's overrated? It's the best damn thing that's ever happened to him!

Some of the chocolate goodness escaped his mouth so he swallowed then licked down his chin only laughing more when Sam pulled an ick face.

He thought he got it all when he felt more down his lip so he licked once again, only this time mixed in with the chocolate was something coppery, something with a tang to it and it really didn't go well with ice cream or strawberry sauce. He licked when his chin got wet yet again, only this time with all the ice cream gone all he tasted was the strange brassy liquid on his tongue, and more once again dribble down quicker this time before he could catch it with his tongue, it was almost as if he were- "Dean sweetie your lip's bleeding," Mary breathed in shock and concern.

"Oh, I must have bit it or something, my mouth's numb with the ice cream so..." he stuttered, feeling like he had to explain himself, he had no idea why.

Mary handed him a tissue and another concerned frown.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Dean asked, feeling really embarrassed, only he could catch his lip and split it right down the middle while out having a _normal_ family meal.

"Sure honey, be careful okay?" Mary told the boy as he took off with his head low and the tissue to his tiny cut.

"Sammy, has Dean said anything to you about bleeding randomly? Does he have thin blood or something? That was a lot for a bit lip."

"No, he never said anything, he always jokes about healing really fast cos his bodies used to that much..." Sam drifted off when the sentence got dark.

"John I'm sure the doctors would have told us if Dean had some sort of medical blood deficiency, he might have just bit a little too deep, he said his mouth was numb."

"Yeah but, it's just strange that's all, I'm gonna go check on him." John left the table, neither Mary nor Sam stopping him, because truthfully, they were worried too.

"Dean? Dean kiddo, you in here?" John hollered banging on every stall finding them all open and empty, all except one at the very end. "Dean buddy?" he asked knocking, thankful when it creaked open, the boy hadn't locked the door then. "Dean?" he asked so much more careful when he saw the boy, his knees curled to his chin, his arms wrapped round his legs and his head buried in his chest, the muffled whimpers so perfectly clear making John's fatherly senses alarm.

He wasn't sure what was wrong so the first step had to be making himself look unthreatening, he crouched down trying to ignore the stains on the tiled floor.

The next step was comfort, so he placed his hand on Dean's head, almost taking it back when he felt the flinch under his palm. He started rubbing his thumb carefully on the cropped hair, inching closer until he felt at least a tiny bit of the tension flee from the boy.

"Dean bud? Can you tell me what's wrong?"

A few more sniffles, one half a sob before it was rained back in by the stubborn boy, then his arms went limp and he raised his head from hiding.

"Oh my... Jesus Christ."

_**TBC...**_

_**Dun dun dun!**_

**If you're reading this and I'm at college...you lucky sods getting to be off right now while I'm out busting my ass! **_***PPPFFFF!***_


	32. Until the truth becomes a lie

**PLEASE READ!:**

33 is the last chapter written, beta-ed and backed up to my memory stick, but my laptop is dying, a slow and painful death, the light to me screen keeps playing up, it got okay after I replied to reviews but then it kept flickering and gave me headache, so its going to be sent back to the store to get fixed.

I'm starting to panic because I can't live a** single day** without my laptop, we have a family computer where I'm posting from right now but I can't write here, the keyboard is just weird because I'm so used to a laptop on my tummy, plus I don't want my little brother looking over my shoulder at what I'm typing, the compute is in his room. So sorry, 33 might be the last one for a while cos I hate this damn keyboard! I can't type at all on it, takes me forever and I always pres the wrong keys.

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Until the truth becomes a lie**

"Dean bud? Can you tell me what's wrong?"

A few more sniffles, one half a sob before it was rained back in by the stubborn boy, then his arms went limp and he raised his head from hiding.

"Oh my...Jesus Christ."

Dean, the sweet, quiet, healing young boy he had come to love, had been beaten to a quivering wreck once again. Both eyes were swollen shut, the split on his lip had swelled up to twice its size, the right side of his chin was tinted in a hard bruised lump, whoever had handed the punch had split his skin it had been so strong.

"Wha-? How? Who? Huh? What did-?" John stuttered. "D-Dean, who did this to you? Did somebody hurt you?" John pleaded.

Dean gave half a nod and half a shake of the head before wincing and mewing in pain.

"Okay, okay no nodding, what happened Dean?" John was starting to panic, what the hell was going on here? There was no way Dean could have beaten his own face in so severely.

But the boy could only groan in response, he didn't even have the energy to cling to John like he wanted to, he wanted to feel safe so bad right now, he just felt scared, vulnerable and so alone.

"Alright, it's gonna be fine buddy, you'll see, okay first, can you see? How many fingers am I holding up?" John asked showing 2 and only a little relieved when Dean grunted back something that sounded like 'tu' which he assumed meant two. "How many sets of two?" this time Dean mewed back, that was a clear cry for help so John hurried things along. "Can you stand? I need to get you out of here."

Dean held his arm out for John to hold, with the man's help and the back wall he was pushing himself up against he was able to get to his feet where he was very grateful when John wrapped an arm round his back and let him lean against his side.

"Okay buddy, we're going to pretend you got sick, and now you're upset so you're going to hide your face in my jacket like you don't want the other dinners seeing you cry, so...I need you to cry for me Dean."

Dean shook his head, he didn't care how much it hurt because he sure as hell was going to make sure John knew he _wasn't_ crying, he was barely holding it together as it was, if he started, fake, forced or neither, he was sure he might not be able to stop.

"I know it's weird, but this is the only thing I can think of son, _please_," with that beg, Dean knew he had no other choice, he let one tear slip over the edge, and before they both knew it he was practically forcing himself to hold back the screams as they exited the bathroom, Dean's face hidden in John's chest and jacket.

"Uh, Mary? We need to go, Dean got a little sick," John mumbled, his pace not slowing down either, he said what he needed then walked past the table he was just sat at and left with the sobbing boy out the door. He got Dean in the back, draped his leather jacket over the kid's shaking frame then closed the door, his face pleading as he saw Mary and Sam rush out of the restaurant towards the car he was starting.

"John?" Mary asked, getting in the back and mumbling for Sam to get in the front, of course he didn't. She looked at Dean on the seat where he was laid out and looked him over, checking for a fever...only to see, what John knew she was going to see. He felt the sting of tears when he heard his son's and his wife's cries of shock and worry as they both got in the back either sides of Dean. As he started the car and speeded down the road, not knowing where to go, who to turn to, what was going on?!

"Mom? D-dad?" Sam asked, he had to tell them now, he just had to, Dean's life depended on it.

"Smm...ddnntt..." Dean grunted.

"Dean?" the boy wailed.

"Ddnntt...Smmyy..."

Mary knew Dean was having trouble breathing the way he was sat, she took him in her arms and kissed the top of his hair whispering words of comfort in his ear, right now, she couldn't do anything else. "SShhhssshhh, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay, sshshhhh."

"M-Mary what do we do?" John asked, seeing the beaten child in his back seat, not knowing what the hell was going on or how in the hell to stop what was happening.

"God...it's the...it's the monsters isn't it Dean?" Sam asked shocking everyone in the car.

Mary knew she hadn't seen this before, but she knew she needed to do something to help the child in agony.

Dean was quietly going numb in his own universe of fear more than pain, Sam was crying as he sat next to Dean, looking across from Dean who was leaning into Mary. Sam held his hand while trying to do something, remember what Dean had taught him.John was just driving and trying not to have a panic attack while Mary administered the comfort.

"HOLY SHIT!!" John screamed, hitting the breaks when he saw something in the middle of the road, or rather someone that was meant to be dead. "Mary, take the boys and run!" John yelled when they went straight through him and he started to come closer.

"John step on it!" Mary yelled holding Dean tighter. "NOW!" she screamed when her husband just sat frozen. Finally the car started up again and they all breathed a sigh of relief when Ron didn't follow. "We need to get to Steve's."

"Why?" John asked, or rather yelled.

"Just trust me, I'll explain later, right now just drive."

_**SPN**_

Steve heard a frantic knock on his door so he sighed, pausing the newest episode of Castle and went to the door wondering who at this time wanted him, he had just gotten off a very long and miserable shift! He wanted to relax with some guilty pleasures!

"I'm coming I'm coming!" he yelled when the knocks got louder, it sounded like a bunch of knocks that time though, he frowned, thinking kids round here knew better than to prank on his doorstep. "If you kids knock my damn door down-!" he was cut off when a very upset and panicked Mary and Sam stood at his door. "What's up guys?" he asked looking behind them at the Impala, what was John doing in the back?

"Steve, we need to stay here, I can't explain right now but...we need ice and your first aid kit."

"What are-?"

"Steve! Now!" Mary yelled so he moved from his door letting her and Sam through, that's when he saw the other two.

"Jesus John what the hell happened to him this time? And why the hell aren't you at the hospital?!" Steve asked, rushing to the right side of the half conscious teen, he wrapped his arm round his waist and he and John both dragged Dean to the couch.

John didn't have time to explain what little he knew before Sam came running into Steve's small living room carrying ice which he pushed into his father's hands not knowing what to do with it himself.

"I got ice packs for that," Steve informed them but realised he didn't need to when Mary came running down his steps with his first aid box in her hand.

John dropped the ice tray and took the first aid kit from his wife.

"Sam baby, can you move outa the way a little?"

"No, I'm staying here with Dean," Sam mumbled, his volume low but the determination in his voice was deafening.

It wasn't long before they were all working together, silent nods or just simple common sense telling all of them they needed to do something.

Steve draped his throw over the shaking teen's shoulders, John got to work on icing Dean's bruised eyes, Sam sat next to his foster brother holding his hand, offering support.

"Mary what are you doing?" John asked when he noticed his wife wasn't with them, she was busy in the kitchen.

"Steve where the hell is your salt?!" she yelled, passing John's questions.

That's when Dean's head pricked up, salt? What did she know about salt?

He couldn't see much, and he couldn't really feel much by this point, but when he saw Mary running to the front door with a tub of salt in her hands, he knew. She came back to the living room, closed Steve's doors and laid another thick line of salt on the floor for extra protection.

Dean turned to her, ignoring John's pleas for him to sit still, Dean hoped his voice was strong enough to ask what was screaming at him right now.

"A-are you a hunter?"

_**TBC...**_

I've been in this room for about 10 minutes, and I want to throttle him already, I guess FF and annoying lil bro's don't mix…Gosh, I'm a Sammy girl (51% Sam girl and 49% Dean girl…), but it's times like these I feel bad for Dean. BLAH! _*must not kill brother, must not kill brother!*_

P.S. sorry this is short, but it just needed to end here. **Let me know if you want the next chapter as fast as possible or if you want it in a week/or two so the update for 34 won't be so far away.**


	33. You’re the truth not I

**Here you go dudes! Did I mention how much I hate this computer?! Lost count how many times it's crashed today, really makes you appreciate good technology! **

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**You're the **_truth_** not I**

It was now 5am, the boys had fallen asleep finally, Dean had been patched up, iced on and off every 20 minutes and popped up with pills. Sam had even managed a drink before he gave into the exhaustion. They were now tossing and turning restlessly on Steve's couch but none of the adults wanted to wake them, things were complicated enough and tense without them hearing this conversation.

"Monsters?" John asked still sceptical as he sat still inside the salted room as instructed.

"Yes."

"Monsters?"

"Yes John."

"Monsters, supernatural monsters, spirits and ghosts and vampires?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I don't know what's going on but I'm going to call the hospital and-"

"John I'm not insane, I wanted to keep this from you and Sam to protect you and then I saw that Dean was a hunter and-"

"What?! So you two get together and talk about ghosts and goblins when I'm out to work or something?"

"No, I never told anyone, least of all Dean, I wanted him to forget about that life like I did, I never told him and he never told me but I saw the salt and knives and his gun-"

"WHAT?! This kid?! This child has a freakin gun?!"

"Dad it's okay, he can shoot really good, I've seen it."

"Sam you should be asleep!" John yelled running a hand through his hair and pacing the length of the living room.

"Dad-"

"Sam I don't want to hear it! This is a conversation between me and your mother!"

"O-okay...ss-orry daddy..." Sam sniffled, getting the picture he laid back down curling next to Dean pretending to be falling back to sleep.

"Okay...say this is true and you haven't gone completely insane, _all_ of you, how do we stop whatever the hell happened before from happening again?"

"We need to find Ron's bones, then salt and burn them."

"Of course we do, what else would a nice _normal_ family do on a night out?"

"John you can pretend all you like, you know what you saw."

"Okay fine maybe I did see something I can't explain but that doesn't mean ghosts are real, maybe it's some freaky Ron twin."

"John stop it with the sarcasm, it's not helping anyone," Steve ordered butting in between the couple, he knew he shouldn't, hell he was ready to pace and scream like his best friend there but someone had to be the professional trained one here and considering all that the Winchester's were going through right now, he volunteered himself.

"Fine...what do we do first?"

"Steve where is he buried?" Mary asked turning to face him.

"Is that why you came here? Wouldn't it have been easier to go home and _call_ me?"

"No, our house isn't on holy ground like yours is."

"Holy who?" Steve and John asked in unison.

"Holy ground, ground that spirits can't cross and if they do, they're turned to dust."

"How do you know this is holy ground?"

"Because back when I was a little girl this used to be the place for the local church, church ground no matter what new building is on top of it's still holy ground so...this seemed like the safest place for my boys."

"Your boys?" John asked rather sarcastically.

"Yes, Sam, you and Dean, _my_ boys, now, where is Ron buried?"

"Some place in town, not far, we bury all the scumbags in the same rotten spot so he shouldn't be too hard to find."

"Good, okay I'm going, the sooner that asshole is toast the sooner we can go home and fix what's left of our children."

"Mary no way you're going out there alone," John somewhat warned.

"John, I've done this a thousand times and I'm still here, I know what I'm doing."

"Did you have backup? You ever go off for a ghost on your own? Cos I knew what your father was like, no way he would have let you go alone on something like this."

Mary sighed, it was like being a teenager again, overprotective men trying to control her, telling her in a not so subtle way that she couldn't do a job as well as a man if she were alone.

"Mary I'm coming, you're my wife and I love you, no way I'm letting something happen to you."

"What about the boys?" Mary asked with her hands on her hips.

"Steve can-"

"Look John, in the state those boys are in, do you really think they're gonna feel happy that I'm babysitting or would they want their father in times like this?" after a minute John didn't seem to catch what Steve was getting at. "I'll go, you know I'd never let anything happen to her, you stay here and look after Sam and Dean."

"No, Sam's known you since he was a baby, and Dean trusts you...trust _me_ on that, this kid right here trusts you, he wouldn't have even let you touch him before never mind tape his lip back up if he didn't. They'll be okay with you around."

John wasn't backing down, he had that look in his eye Steve had seen very few times, not that that was a bad thing, he was a man of good morals and mostly old fashioned ones, Mary hated it sometimes he could tell, but John was protective and always looked after his family before himself, you couldn't say he was a bad father and husband for that.

"Okay, you got it."

"Mary what do we need?" John asked after nodding a thank you to his friend.

"Steve do you have a shot gun?"

"Yeah."

"You got rock salt rounds?"

"To keep burglars away, course."

"Good, we need salt, we need shot guns, do you have any rosary?"

"Yeah, Anne's old necklace, what's it for?" Steve asked going to his bookcase and opening the locked cabinet underneath.

"Gonna make some holy water, if I still remember the ritual right."

"Here," he said handing her the cross necklace. "Look after it, don't lose it."

"You know I won't, come on, we need a bottle of water then we're going."

"Mary-"

"John baby, I've done this a hundred times, I know what I'm doing, I'm gonna be okay...Steve just...look after them."

Steve nodded, telling them he would protect the boys with his life which of course they know he would.

"Sammy?" Mary asked carefully knowing he was awake.

Sam opened his eyes and the sadness and worry there was heartbreaking.

"We're gonna be okay baby, just stay here with Dean okay?" she handed him his drink once again and he drank as silently ordered.

"O-okay," he whispered when he swallowed and the glass was taken away, Sam then let a tear slip out when his mother gave him a kiss on his forehead.

"D-don't...please don't..." Dean begged, for a second they thought he was trapped in some dream, but his eyes were wide open and locked on Mary and John.

"Dean-"

"You can't...please don't do this, it's too dangerous...I'm not worth it, I deserve all this...please?" Dean begged wanting to get up so bad, but he just didn't have anything left, he wasn't sure if it was emotions keeping him from moving or whether it was just pain.

"Dean kiddo, you're worth it and you do not for the millionth time deserve any of what's happing or happened to you...we're gonna prove that to you right now, stay here, don't do anything stupid, and take care of our Sammy, yeah?" John asked running his hand through the kids hair.

Dean somehow scraped something from the very bottom of himself and managed to sit up, cover Sam in a shield of himself then nod.

"Good boy, see you on the other side huh kid?"

"Plee..."

"Not another word, sleep, we'll be back here in one piece by the time you wake up."

Both boys did as ordered...neither of them wanting to though, but something was dragging them into sleep, it was almost scary and would have been if they had been awake long enough to feel the fear.

"Damn what the hell are in those pills?" John asked rhetorically.

"Enough to knock them out, not practical but it's certainly needed today, surprised Sam fell for that though," Steve mumbled to himself.

"Oh he didn't," Mary said looking at the gritty glass, "he just knows we wouldn't give them him unless it was for a good reason."

"And Dean?" Steve asked.

"He was told they were only pain pills," Mary admitted looking down at the sleeping children.

"Like I said...not practical but it works."

All of them stood watching the boys chests rise and fall for a good few minutes before Mary finally cleared her throat.

"John let's go."

John nodded, took the shot gun he was handed by Steve then put his hand out and grabbed his wife's wrist. Even though they were in this together, John gave Mary a kiss almost as if it were their last then left her to gather up what else she needed...he prayed to god that she did know what she was doing...he had never seen this side of his wife before, and to be completely honest, when this was all over, he hoped he would never have to see it again, he was the man of the house, he was the protector and the guardian...his wife shouldn't have to be.

"Love you boys," Mary whispered kissing them both on the cheek before she walked out the door, the mother in her left behind with her sons, the hunter in taking over...the mother hated the hunter for it.

John got a pat on the back from Steve then tensed his jaw, hating having to go back to his marine attitude, but for Mary to be safe out there, that's just what needed to be done.

_**TBC...**_

**I wrote 34 on my big brother's laptop and half or 35 before he took it back to uni…if that's any consolation. Weh! I miss my Dell-Boy!**


	34. Please don't drive me blind

_SPOILERS FOR EPI!_

_Okay, Dark Side of the Moon…possibly one of the most heartbreaking things I've seen EVER! How amazing was that lil Sammy scene though?…I had tears of joy in my eyes when Dean got a hug from his Sammy! I'm such a sucker for those old Sam and Dean moments…we NEED more of those. Oh god…Sammy's fondest memorise…what was that all about?!!! GGRR! Just one…just one happy memory with Dean would have been okay but NNOOOO! Poor poor Dean! At least Bones was cute! UUHH…I'm going to cry into a pillow now…_

_**Okay…spoilers over for now…**_

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Please don't drive me blind**

"Please I have to-"

"No Dean, you're staying right there until you can see straight."

"But I have to go!"

"Go where?"

"Away....when they come back I have to leave...now..."

Steve sighed, maybe popping the kids up with sleeping pills wasn't the best idea, thanks to his grand idea Dean was now distraught, very confused, unable to speak in full sentences for him to understand what the kid needed and struggling like he was the enemy. At first he had woken up and screamed, then he looked like he was going to suffocate and now it looked like he had moved into the blind panic stage.

"Dean what are you talking about? When they come back you'll have to leave?"

"Whenoneofthem....comesback...havetoleavebefore....then..."

"What do you mean one of them? Come on kid you're scaring me here, just try to breathe okay?" Steve had his hands on the boys shoulders, rubbing circles hoping it would help, either that or hopefully restrain Dean enough for him not to be able to bolt from the door when he felt like it.

Dean took some deep breaths as instructed, then looked up into the man's eyes, he didn't look mad...he just...looked worried?

"Okay, now why do you have to leave? Why will only one of them come back?"

"Cos...that's just how it's always been, one of them will come back and the other will be dead...it'll be my fault...they'll wanna kill me...and I can't..." Dean sobbed.

Steve was just about to ask Dean to elaborate when he saw Sam was awake and inching closer to Dean to offer comfort.

"You can't what?" the boy asked, placing a careful hand on Dean's shoulder.

"I c-can't do it 'gain...can't...n-not strong enough...m'not....I can't be someone's p-personal punching bag again I just c-can't..."

"Dean...Dean it's not gonna be like before I swear, my mom said it's just a simple salt and burn, nothing to it."

"N-nothing is simple around me...nothing, I'm sorry Sam, god I'm so sorry...m'sorry m'sorrym'sorrym'sorry..." Dean chanted, rocking himself as he leaned over the end of the couch in a fatal position.

"_Good, you should be, I mean look at you, this crap follows you everywhere no matter how normal you try to be, take a hint Dean, this is God's way of saying you aren't good for anything else but death and destruction."_

"Don't listen to him Dean!" Sam yelled standing from the couch trying to protect Dean.

"Y-you...you heard that? I'm not...S-Sam?" Dean begged for an explanation, was he going nuts or was he being haunted by his inner demons? Real ones? What?!

"Boys run!" Steve yelled shielding them from the slightly hollow thing in front of them.

"He's here, he's...Mom said..."

"_Yeah well mommy doesn't know how strong a pissed off spirit is...and man am I pissed!" _

Dean flinched and whimpered, when Ron spat out those last words, he knew they were aimed at him. Sam pulled Dean up with him and they all backed up towards the hall where they could hopefully run upstairs.

"Dean kid what do we do?" Steve asked knowing that boy was the expert on all this, he didn't have a clue how to fight something that wasn't really there.

But Dean didn't look up to answering at this moment in time, he was too busy muttering apologizes.

"Dean!" Steve yelled grabbing his gun aiming for Ron who was there one second then he wasn't.

"S-sorry...god sorry...please...please...mom help me....m'sorry..."

Steve fired and both kids jumped, but it worked, Ron was gone, for now, so Sam grabbed Dean's shoulders and shook them. "Dean! Snap out of it! Remember what you told me about Jordon and those jerks at school...Ron's just like them! He's just a bully! You're better than he is! He's just a big fat ugly bully with nothing better to do than to make everyone else around him as miserable as he is! That's his problem! Not yours! So please stop saying you're sorry, please...just listen to me, please..."

"Sam I'm-"

"Stop saying sorry!" Sam yelled getting so mad now he was shaking the kid that was a whole foot taller than him and built like a brick, never when he first met Dean did he think he might be the angry one.

"Dean you with us?" Steve asked turning his head slightly to see how the kids were doing after Sam's pep talk.

"We need salt," Dean said, it was a little shaky but a thousand times better than a minute ago.

"I got salt kid," Steve said with a light tone of pride to his voice, Dean wasn't sure why, still didn't understand when it came from John or Mary, never mind this guy but oh well, they had work to do right?

"Sam I need you to stay with the salt, _you_ need to watch out for Sam, I can take care of the douche."

"_What did you just say you piece of shit?!"_

"You heard me! You lousy waste of oxygen! You're a fucking douche!" Dean yelled before he was slammed into the stair railings by some invisible force. He heard Sam cry out his name but he couldn't get past the ringing in his ears and the pain up his side from some obvious new bruises. Before he could clear the fog he was pulled into standing position and dragged up what felt like steps.

_**SPN**_

"Mary what exactly are we looking for?" John asked shining his flash light from right to left as he followed his wife.

"Ron's grave, watch out though, he might wanna surprise us, some spirits like to do that."

"And what exactly do they surprise you with?"

"Uh, generally anything from tossing you 20 feet in the air towards a headstone to slicing and dicing you left right and centre."

"They're ghosts, unless they've seen Ghost and pull a Patrick Swayze, how in the hell can they pick up something or someone and toss em 20 feet in the air?"

"Well from my experience, all spirits must get a free ticket to watch Ghost before they come back and do serious damage."

"Super, crazy ghosts, awesome."

"Yep, tell me about it."

"Mary honey?"

"Yes, John sweetie?" she mocked with a smile he couldn't be mad at.

"How did you get into all this stuff?"

"My parents, ran in the family, I thought we were done with the 411?"

"Mary, a little under an hour ago I found out that not only ghosts and demons and monsters exist, but my wife used to kill them with her parents for a living, the 411 won't be done until we're old and grey babe."

"Well _babe_, it's gonna have to stop after tonight, I'm not getting into this again, the only reason I'm doing this now is for Dean, once this jerk is dead for good we can go back to pretending like none of this ever happened, like you and Sam never found out okay?"

"Mary we can't, even for Dean alone we can't just sweep this under the rug, he's gonna wanna talk to you about this stuff, maybe it'll help him talk to us like family if he knows he's got something in common and he can talk to us all about it instead of hiding who he was from the whole world. I don't know how to say this but I think he needs closure on this stuff. Hell maybe this is the thing that's been holding him back, maybe this is why he felt like he couldn't talk to us."

Mary knew he was right, she felt like Dean needed her for this stuff herself, she was just hoping she could hide it from her normal family members, she was going to tell the young kid one day, she just didn't expect it to be so soon, and for him to find out in such a way as he did tonight, so much for gently easing him into it, this was more like a slap in the face for all of them.

"We'll talk about it when we're all home and the boys are safe."

"Deal."

"Wait...sh!" she hissed stopping John's walking by putting a hand to his chest. "Oh son of a-!"

_**SPN**_

"Dean!" Sam yelled when he saw his foster brother thrown into the banister.

Steve cursed under his breath when he didn't see anything to shoot at, he grabbed Sam by the front of his shirt then somehow dragged him, picked up Dean on the way then ran up the steps to his bedroom.

"Sam check his pupils!" Steve yelled while he barricadedhis bedroom door and laid a thick line of salt down, he had no clue how long it would hold but maybe a thicker line would keep Ron out just a little longer.

"For what?!" Sam yelled scared when Dean still looked out of it.

"If they're even! Just check em, if they don't look right you'll know, trust me kid."

"Dean? You o-okay?" Sam asked pealing his eyelids back to check his pupils.

"Mmmhh...ow, man I hate that bastard!" Dean groaned as he swatted Sam's hands off and stood from the bed to go guard the door with Steve, his headache could wait.

"Dean stay back!" Steve yelled with his gun towards the door ready to shoot, trying to protect both boys.

"Like hell! This is my fault! Besides, I know what I'm doing!" and with those words Dean took the shot gun from Steve.

"Give me the damn gun Dean!" Steve yelled but didn't move to take it from Dean's hands, this kid knew what he was doing and he didn't feel like getting rock salt in his chest if Dean felt that was what took for him to back down, which it sure as hell did by this point.

"No! Look after Sam!" when Steve didn't move from his side he looked over and to some people it might have looked like a glare, but to Steve and Sam, they knew Dean was pleading... "PLEASE!?"

'_Damn this kid is bossy when it comes to the supernatural!'_

"Dean I'm the adult here! Who's a cop no less! You're a kid!"

"No! Right now I'm a fucking hunter and you're one of the cop guys who's trying to do my job and he doesn't know it!"

"What about me?!" Sam yelled getting angry these two were fighting over who got to be on the front line, he might be 10 but he wasn't going to let them two do all the fighting, he wanted to kill this dick as much as they did, maybe even more so.

"_Sam_!" Steve and Dean yelled in unison in that warning tone that told him he was to do nothing but stay back.

"Dean for crying out loud-!" Steve was cut off when he went flying into his wardrobe head first.

"Sam check on him!"

"I'm on it," the boy promised, kneeling down next to Steve who was face down to the carpet and groaning like there was no tomorrow. "Uncle Steve?"

"M'fine kid, help me up," Sam was about to do as he was told but didn't have chance to help Steve before he cried out once again when he saw Dean.

"Stay away from him!" he screamed when Ron was right there cornering Dean into the small space by the end of the room, Dean's fighting spirit looked lost again as he was now whimpering in fear, crawling away from the man he saw as his worst nightmare, he didn't know what Ron was saying to Dean but Dean didn't like it by the looks.

"_You murderous little shit, do you know in the few seconds before I crawled outa hell I saw your mother there, she was screaming, torn to shreds begging the demons down there for mercy because she didn't belong there, you just put her there because of your sins you evil scum of shit!"_

"N-no...not true, m-my m-mom's in heaven...I saw her, she told me, I saw her, she h-helped me get 'way from you...she did...she's not in hell she's not in hell she's not in hell!" Dean sobbed shielding his face with the shot gun, unable to lift it any higher so he could shoot.

"Leave him alone! Hey! Ronald dick head! Come after me!"

Dean cried out in fear, hoping his uncle wouldn't listen, maybe if he was dumb enough he wouldn't hurt him by hurting Sam.

"You're a lying son of a bitch!"

He felt a slap across the face and would have breathed a sigh of relief if he could.

"_That' your grandmother you're talking about!"_

"No! You're not even part of my family! They kicked you outa the club years ago you dick!...All those years I asked who my uncle was...now I know why!"

"_Don't you ever disrespect me like that you fucker!" _

"AH!" Dean screamed when hot acid whipped him round his ribs, damn that was gonna hurt later! "No Sam don't!" Dean yelled when he saw the kid in the background of the pain picking up the salt from the door and tossing it over Ron. Thankfully the monster screamed and dissipated within seconds, but then the ass was back. "NNOOOO!"

Sam landed with a thud to the far wall and Dean crawled from his corner and ran towards Sam who was getting up, but didn't look happy about it.

"Sam? Sammy oh god, are you okay? Where are you hurt?!" he rushed checking Sam's head, running his hands through the kid's hair looking for any possible gashes, bumps or lumps.

"I really hate him," Sam hissed and if this was a regular spirit Sam was pissed off at and not his worst fear coming to life, Dean would have laughed.

"Steve?" Dean asked pulling Sam into a standing position, mostly just to check for any broken bones in Sam.

"Oh I've had enough of this dick!" the man spat getting up from the floor and hobbling over quickly to the discarded gun and back to shielding the boys. "New plan, I'll be the rag doll, you kids stop trying to be heroes, got it?"

None of the kids moved to answer.

"Got it?!" Steve yelled warning them with his best fatherly tone, wanting to sound like John Winchester for the first time in his life.

"Y-yes sir," they nodded, little did Steve know, Dean's crossed fingers protected him from being held to that.

_"Would you people just mind your own damn business! Move the hell out the way! Dean deserves to be punished! I knew I was too soft on you all those years!"_

Before Dean could even blink, Sam and Steve were tossed to either side of the room, thankfully Sam landed on the bed this time saving him from just a little more panic and worry. Steve once again landed with a thump into the wall which would most certainly hurt when he woke up!

Ron's fist was the next thing in his eye line and then he was sure it was the dick's boot making stars dance above him.

_**SPN**_

"Oh son of a bitch!"

"What?! What's wrong?! Is he here??!" John rushed trying to back up whilst shielding his wife.

"No, and he won't be, come on we need to find him quick!"

"What?! Why? Why won't he be here? Surely if he knows were gonna torch him he'll try to stop us."

"Yeah unless he's a little preoccupied with trying to kill Dean right now."

"Son of a bitch!" John yelled, then his body switched into double speed like it used to when he was out on the field, he never had time to let his mind catch up with his body then, and he certainly didn't have time right now, or rather, Dean didn't have time.

"He's here!" Mary yelled and next were the sounds of a shovel cutting through mud.

"Mary get everything you need ready, I got the digging covered, this shouldn't be that deep if it was a quick burial."

"God I hope you're right..."

John would have consoled his wife, told her he was right, told her it wouldn't take much time for him to dig this hole, but they just couldn't spare even a second.

_**SPN**_

"Would you stop fucking with the kids!" Steve yelled shooting when he could get a clear shot of just Ron's head and not Dean's beaten body as well.

"Dean!" Sam yelled moving to pick him up when Ron disappeared, he didn't care if he came back and tossed him again, the longer he was tossed, the less time Ron had to beat Dean.

"God what is it with him and kicking me in the fucking ribs!?!" Dean asked rhetorically as Sam helped him to stand, this seemed like déjà vu from just weeks ago.

"Told you he's an asshole," Sam snorted as he practically had to hug Dean to stop him from falling back towards the floor, he was heavy! "Dude what do you eat?"

"All muscle man," Dean smirked, trying and failing to hold up some of his own body weight.

"I know this is kind of pessimistic, but does anyone else feel like he should have been back by now?" Steve asked no one in particular when none of them were tossed or kicked yet.

"Damn it!" Dean yelled, but it wasn't an angry yell, it was a 'oh crap what have I done!?' yell.

"What? Where is he?" Sam asked looking around whilst being hugged tighter by Dean, seemed like he was either losing grip or Dean was trying to protect him.

"In my experience, if the ghost isn't with the one trying to keep it preoccupied, its with the ones digging him up."

"M-my parents? They're gonna be okay right?" Sam begged.

"Sam they're gonna be fine, there's 2 of them, your dad is a damn good shoot and your mom...well she's one scary woman when she needs to be," Steve tried to console with a light joke.

"It's not funny," Sam cried as tears came down, he didn't want Ron here with Dean how he was, but he didn't want him where he couldn't see him either, where he didn't know if his parents were okay or not.

"Sshh sshhh Sam, it's gonna be okay, they're gonna be fine, your mom knows what she's doing, and your dad used to be a marine, you got nothing to worry about, I swear..." _'God...mom...I hope...please I'm begging for Sam, don't let him hurt them...'_ he swallowed the building fear, then pushed himself from Sam's hold. "I can save your parents."

"Y-you can?" Sam sobbed.

"I need you to promise me something."

"O-okay...okay," Sam nodded, he would do anything for his parents, anything for Dean if he helped them.

"Stay here," he whispered before grabbing the gun from Steve before the man could stop him.

"No DEAN!" Steve yelled running for the insane child but accidentally kicking away what little salt was protecting them from Ron's complete power. "AAHH!" he yelled when the wardrobe practically came and swallowed him, effectively knocking him out cold.

"Dean! Dean please!" Sam cried but he couldn't get to him, the wardrobe was blocking his way out and he just didn't know what to do anymore. "Uncle Steve you need to wake up! Please I can't move this without you please!" he sobbed trying to lift it but nothing was happening, Dean was out there getting killed probably and he couldn't do a damn thing about it…just like before.

Dean felt bad when he heard Steve cry out in pain but was also relieved because he knew it meant he had his uncle all to himself…or rather Ron had him all to himself.

He ran down the hallway and stumbled to the floor when intense pain burned inside his veins. He dropped the gun, lost it somewhere on what sounded like stairs, then his cheek slapped the wooden flooring hard as he dropped. And it hurt…it hurt so bad. But he didn't cry, he refused, he wasn't going to cry...if this was his end…he was going to go like his parents, fighting all the damn way to the pit! "C-COME ON YOU FUCKING BULLY! COME AND GET ME! I'M RIGHT HERE! FREE PUNCHES GOING ONCE! GOING TWICE!-" he was cut off when the wind was knocked out of him...but nothing more.

"_Don't you fuck with my son you scumbag!"_

"D-dad…" he breathed.

_"It'd okay baby, it's okay…"_

"M-mom?" he cried, but this time he didn't care, he never thought he would see them both together, protecting him…like they were meant to, it was like heaven…and for the first time in 7 years, he wasn't scared…

_**SPN**_

"John!"

"Torch the fucker!" John yelled standing from the grass, this dick wasn't really good at aiming, he didn't land anywhere near a headstone, this guy sucks!

The next thing he knew, flames erupted from the dug up grave and some sort of dark aura lifted from the cemetery.

"Is he gone now?"

"He sure as hell is...thank god..." Mary breathed leaning onto a tree next to the hole on fire.

"You okay Mary?" John asked just in general as he went to her and ran a hand through her soaked hair.

"I'm fine...just way outa shape for this stuff," she laughed before kissing her husband on the lips and leaning to his chest.

"You sure that's it?" John asked as he kissed her hair.

"You don't trust my hunting skills?" she smirked.

"I just wanna be sure, there isn't any other dead guys out here we should torch just in case before we go home is there?"

"Nope, hopefully, that asshole is the last of him, I hope that's the last of Dean's skeletons anyway."

"You really think that's the last?"

"With Dean? Not a chance, that poor boy is messed up and will be for years, I just hope that's the last of the literal skeletons, it's been some years since I salted and burned a body as smelly and fleshy as that."

"Oh that's disgusting."

"Hey you're the one who wanted to know more about my hunting career."

But that honey, I didn't need to know...come on, we need to get back to Steve's, pray our boys are still okay."

"I have a feeling Sam will be just fine."

"What about the other two?"

"That I'm not thinking about until I have to, besides, it can't be as bad as I'm picturing in my head..."

"Yeah...me too..."

_**TBC...**_

_**Okay…I'll be posting 35 (long story on how I wrote that…) before I go to Venice on the 12**__**th**__** for my 18**__**th**__** b-day…which inst actually while the 29**__**th**__** of this month but this Easter break is the only time we can go unless I want to wait while August…which I do not! I'm soooo excited though hehe! Then hopefully when I come back on the 14**__**th**__** I think…I'll have my laptop back! Cross your fingers and toes for me!**_


	35. Falling into place

Okay, something totally amazing keeps happening when I get reviews….my favs tab keeps overloading cos there's too many….WOOT WOOT!! One type of overload that makes me VERY HAPPY!!!

Thank you soooo much guys…erm yeah…WE just flew past 550 reviews and quickly pulling up on 600, I say WE because I couldn't do it without you dudes…OMG I'm feeling sooo soppy today!

**LOVE YOU GUYS!**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

_**Falling into place**_

"DEAN! Oh my god Dean!"

"M'fine," the older boy grunted as Sam kneeled down next to him.

It was a little tricky but once Steve woke up from all Sam's screaming and helped him move the wardrobe from the doorway, they got to Dean pretty quickly and now all they had to do was make sure he was okay, he was breathing so Sam would take what he could get right now.

"Where did he go?"

"He's gone…Sam I…"

"What Dean?" he asked as Steve helped them both to stand.

"I think…I think my parents were here…they helped me."

"S-so…he's really gone?"

"Most definitely," Dean smirked, he didn't know what, he couldn't put his finger on it, but something about him…about the air around him was just different, better.

"Are you sure you're okay Dean?" Steve pressed, "You don't look so good."

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Dean joked.

"Come on boys, sounds like the parents are back…let's pray they're in one piece."

"They're fine…I promise Sam."

_**SPN**_

"Sit down," Mary ordered as she ordered her husband over to the couch.

"Mar I'm fine."

"John you really suck ass at lying."

"Mary!" John yelled before pulling a rather shocked and amused face.

"What?" she asked when he dropped to the couch.

"I don't know where this bad ass chick came from but I like her."

"Shut up John, what is it with men and sex?" she asked rhetorically before noticing it was quiet, too quiet. "I'll go check upstairs," she whispered but found out she didn't need to when Steve, Sam and Dean came down the steps, all of them looked breathless, Steve had a cut on his forehead, a few bruised ribs by the looks of how he was holding his side and Dean's swollen eyes were still a shock, but Sam looked positively fine, a little scared but mostly okay, not that she should be surprised with Dean around.

"Dad what happened?" Sam asked walking over to his father whilst pulling Dean along with him.

"It's fine Sammy, I'm fine."

"Your father managed to dig up and kill his very first spirit then to celebrate he walked into a barbed fence."

"I did not _walk_ into it."

"Do you prefer the term stole?" she asked with a smirk that even made Dean laugh.

"Alright, round up, is everyone okay?" John asked tugging the boys to come sit down at either side of him.

"We're good thanks to this kid...damn Dean can be bossy when he wants to," Steve joked but patted the boy on the shoulder.

"Dean kicked butt mom," Sam smiled.

When they all looked over at the young boy, their faces full of praise, they all suddenly frowned.

"Dean what are you doing kid?" John asked when his grazed leg was lifted to rest on the coffee table and Dean rolled up his pant leg, it wasn't bad, barely a cut worth cleaning, there wasn't even blood on his now torn jeans, but Dean seemed to think otherwise.

"Oh...s-sorry...um, habit?" he cringed, stopping what he was doing.

"What habit?"

"Um...when my...when Ron...it was my job to patch up his friends and...as long as I kept my mouth shut he didn't show that side of himself around them if I helped out...s-sorry," he mumbled once again.

"No, it's okay, Dean you don't have to feel like patching me up is a necessity."

"Um...okay, sorry," Dean fell silent and just stared at the blood dripping down the man's leg, it was like watching a waterfall...the running blood was almost possessing him, and that was just a scary thought.

"Go ahead...Mary will probably rip my leg off just to punish me for leaving the toilet seat up all these years."

Dean chuckled, then went serious and wiped up some of the blood with the wipes from the kit still left on the floor from when they used it for him.

"I'm gonna go make us something to eat, you hungry Steve?"

"Yeah, hang on this is my house."

"You're hurt, maybe even a concussion, and we owe you so-" the two of them left for the kitchen, both bickering over who got to cook.

John shook his head at the two fighting like they were the married couple then turned his attention back to the kids, Sam seemed tired, his son's head was resting on his shoulder and his breathing was evening out.

Dean was busy with the first aid kit, he looked like a pro, it was heart breaking at how professional and how good Dean looked at doing this sort of thing, how many times had he been made to clean up strangers wounds after hunts and stuff?

John suppressed every hiss and grunt for the kid cleaning up his graze, he didn't even yell out when the antiseptic pads were pressed on the cut on his calf from where the wire tip had caught him.

The kid was like a miracle worker with fast movements his leg was wrapped and set back down to the floor; that had to be the quickest patch up job he'd ever had, and that included all his years as a marine.

"Thanks champ," he smiled before nodding for Dean to come sit back down, he looked utterly exhausted. "Long night huh kids?"

"Weird night…my mom kicks ass."

"That she does Sammy."

"Did Ron come after you dad?"

"For a few seconds, barely a minute then he left again. Why?"

"I know why he left again."

"Why?"

"Dean…he went out of the salted room so Ron would come after him again and left you and mom alone."

"Dean that is pretty…" his voice trailed off when he saw Dean's damp skin. "Dean?" he asked shaking the kid a little, his tone serious and worried.

"Dad?" Sam asked sitting up and twisting so he could see what was wrong, he felt like crying for the hundredth time that night when he saw how pale Dean was and he heard the heavy wheezing.

John swung himself round careful of his youngest behind him then rushed from the sofa to kneel down next to the kid who didn't look like he could breathe like he was meant to, why didn't he see this before?! Why didn't Dean say anything?!

"Dean? Dean open your eyes for me," thankfully the boy did as requested and moaned when the hard light from the rising sun hit his face. "Okay let's get you laying down kiddo."

Sam moved from the couch and watched as his father gently picked Dean up and laid him down.

"Dean, where does it hurt son?" John asked trying to find the source of Dean's pain.

"S-stomach...wet..."

"Oh shit..." John cursed, if Dean said it was wet that couldn't be good. "Oh damn it Dean!" he yelled, his worry coming out at anger when he saw the huge mesh of bruises and the long gash on the boy's abdomen. He dreaded to think what state his back was in. "Why the hell didn't you tell us?!"

Dean whimpered, he curled away and started to shake in fear.

"Dad!" Sam yelled telling his father off for yelling at Dean and making him scared.

"Right, right I'm sorry son, I'm sorry, come on, we need to go to the hospital with that, Mary!" he yelled whilst he made a make shift wrap from one of Steve's old pressure bandages, it being the only thing big enough.

Mary and Steve ran in forgetting about the food.

"I'll go start my car," Steve grabbed his keys when he saw the blood on his cream couch.

"John you got him?" Mary asked as she wrapped the blanket from nearby around Dean's shoulders before letting them both leave for Steve's car, John never limped once in his step because he just couldn't risk jarring Dean's injuries any more.

"M-mom?" Sam asked when she wasn't letting him follow.

"We'll follow in our car honey," she promised before grabbing their keys. This nightmare just wasn't going to end was it…

_**TBC…**_

_***Does happy dance to Lady Gaga!!* **_

"_**Eh eh! So happy I could die"!**_Close but not quite literally…please!

Ooohh….now Paramore's on!

"_**To bury the castle; bury the castle  
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da!!"**_

I love my Ipod when it's on shuffle!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay I'm shutting up now….


	36. Happiness damn near destroys you

**_ Side kick-Bia1007_**

**_Beta- Eggylaine_**

**Happiness damn near destroys you**

The first thing Dean noticed was he was awake, the second was even though his eyes were closed, it was really bright, but the third and most annoying thing he picked up on was how loud it was, like really echoing and if he was awake enough, he would be flinching at every voice, bleep and scrape that was nearby.

But when he heard the sounds of someone familiar crying, all the loud and bright stuff didn't matter.

"Okay, the next time you tell me to stop getting beaten up...I'll listen to you."

"D-Dean?"

"One and only...so, where am I this time?" he groaned, forcing his eyes open and pushing himself up on the rustling bed.

"Um...in the ER still, they're trying to decide if you need to be admitted or not."

"Not...can we go now?"

"Um no...my dad needs to wake up first."

"Wait what? What the hell happened to your dad?! I thought he was okay?! Oh god..."

"No no Dean, he's fine...I swear, he um...fainted," Sam snorted, making no effort to hide his giggles which was a strange thing to hear considering how red his eyes still were.

"Why did he faint?" Dean asked, trying not to seem as panicked as he was.

"You know that?" Sam asked, pointing to the empty bag that looked like it once held blood that hung above Dean's head.

"Yeah?" Dean asked creasing his brow when he saw the tape on his hand, _'guess I needed a top up.'_

"Well the hospital was running low on your blood type and when they told us what type you were me and my dad turned out to be the same...I offered but apparently I'm not old enough," Dean's face lit up when Sam said that, the kid...this 10 year old boy offered to be prodded and poked just to give him some blood? Sam's face was pissed when he said he wasn't old enough, that made Dean's heart swell all the more, but trouble was, it seemed to be swelling with guilt more than anything. "So my dad gave you the blood then he stood up to go sit back down next to me and he made it about 2 steps before he flopped to the floor...it was kinda scary at first but when the doctor said he fainted it was sort of funny. My dad...bad ass marine and he fainted cos he gave blood. Guess you really are a Winchester now."

Sam was still laughing which was much better than the tears but Dean didn't think it was so funny.

"He shouldn't have done that for me."

"What?" Sam asked...his happiness dissipating in an instant.

"He shouldn't have given me blood, it's just...what's the damn point?"

"What's the-" Sam's questions were cut off when a guy in a white coat came in through the closed curtains surrounding them.

"Good evening Dean, how are you feeling?" he asked grabbing the clip board and a pen from his pocket, ready to write down what Dean was meant to say at this point.

"Where's my uncle Steve?" Sam asked when he knew Dean wasn't going to talk.

"Right here kid," he said coming through the gap the doc had made in the drawn curtain.

"My dad's okay isn't he?"

"He's fine," Steve said, frowning at the young boy's question, he thought Sam knew his dad was fine.

"See, told you," Sam snapped towards Dean before going silent like him.

"Doc how's the kid doing?"

"I was just about to ask. John and Mary said they found you in a heap on the floor in the garage, looked like the tool shelf fell down on you. Does that sound about right?" the doctor asked without any hint of scepticism in his voice whatsoever.

_'The Winchesters are good,'_ Dean thought before nodding.

"How are you feeling then young man after your accident?"

Dean just shrugged.

"Dean kiddo, you feeling okay?"

Dean nodded this time when Steve asked.

"Are you in pain?" the doctor asked catching on that Dean would respond better to yes or no questions.

Dean shook his head and looking at him he seemed to be telling the truth.

"Are you feeling dizzy at all?"

Again Dean shook his head.

"Weak? Headache? Fever?"

Dean shook his head three times for those.

"Can I examine you?"

Dean shrugged, he didn't really want to be poked again by another doctor but he didn't really have a choice.

"Do you want some privacy?"

Knowing what the guy was really asking, he threw his arm out and latched onto the front of Sam's shirt to make sure he was heard loud and clear, no _privacy_ would be needed at all!

"Okay kid calm down I think we understand," Steve chuckled, trying to make it a joke to lighten the tension in the room and luckily Dean let go of Sam and relaxed his shoulders a little.

"Where's my mom?" Sam asked as he stood back a little with Steve as the doctor went to have a prod at Dean's cuts and bruises the 'fallen tool shelf' caused.

"With your dad still, trying to make him sit still long enough to see only one of her."

"Um....Uncle Steve?" Sam whispered tugging on his uncle's sweater to get his attention.

"Yeah?"

"Um...Dean's sad again...he asked me what the point of my dad giving him blood was...what do I say to him? I don't even know what the point of all this stuff is yet..." he forced, trying not to cry again.

"Hey it's okay Sammy, sshh don't cry kiddo, to tell you the truth I don't think anybody knows, you just have to figure it out for yourself as you grow up, Dean'll be fine kid, he's got you looking out for him."

"You sure?" Sam asked wiping the tears away before Dean noticed them.

"I'm sure." A pat on the back and a quick nudge later, the doctor was done and Sam was back by Dean's side. "So what's the verdict doc?"

"Well Dean's wounds aren't life threatening, he's just going to be sore for a while."

_'Yeah, like I haven't been before genius.'_

"Now he's got his fluids back and his blood pressure is up to normal, there really isn't anything we can do for him here that he can't get at home."

"So he can go home today?"

"After he's eaten and kept something down, he's free to go."

"Thanks doc."

"See you gentlemen."

"So that's good news huh kids?" Steve smiled when the doctor left.

"Yeah," Sam nodded trying to force a smile for Dean's sake.

"How long until I can leave?" was all Dean said.

"Not sure, doc said after you eat so I'll go track down some food for you, how about that?"

"Not really hungry," Dean mumbled shrugging his shoulders once again.

"Just humour them okay? Then you can go home."

"It's not really my home."

"Yes it is, I know it is! You do too!" Sam snapped banging his fist in anger on the bed post.

"You don't fucking know anything! And more to the point you don't know fuck all about me so back off!"

"You're such a jerk! Fine! Be like that! I don't even care anymore!" and with that Sam slammed his chair back and left.

"Dean he was just-"

"He was just telling the truth, why should he care?"

"Because he loves you," Steve said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Dean snorted, that was just ridiculous.

"I'm serious, we can all see it, you two are practically brothers. You know, you might not think people know you but trust me Dean, you're not as secret 007 as you might think when you choose not to speak. You say so much more when you keep your mouth shut than you ever would with words."

Dean huffed like a stroppy teenager, he didn't need to hear this crap.

"This latest incident has made you realise that bad things still happen around you, so maybe it's _because_ of you. You're trying to be mean again so Sam starts to get fed up, you yell even more and because of that he and everyone else that's took a liking to you keeps their distance, just gets tired of making you feel better, because if they do, they might get hurt like somebody else...or somebody's that loved you."

Dean kept his nose turned up and his head low.

"And what's the point right? Of being happy, of _trying_ to be happy? Of trying to build something for yourself when it's only a matter of time before someone rips it right out from under you and laughs while you're down. Why bother right?"

_'Is this guy a mind reader or is he just really good at this guessing game?'_

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt."

That got Dean's attention.

"I was an asshole to John and Mary one time, I lost someone who I loved so much and who loved me back. I thought I was the problem, so I cut myself off and turned into a bitter old drunk. But those Winchesters can be pretty stubborn and no matter how many times they tell you that they've had enough and you can go and crawl into a black hole of misery for all they care, they're lying out of their asses. They won't give up on you so you might as well save yourself all the guilt I had and just drop the act. Go home, be normal, and live like the happy 14 year old kid your loved ones wanted you to be for crying out loud."

His voice was soft, but his words were kind of harsh, not mean...just a bit too forward for Dean's liking.

"If you've been there and done that you know it's not that easy...I'm just...used to being a jerk. I don't know how to be happy without feeling bad for it."

"It'll get easier to be...non jerk-ish eventually and the guilt just kind of leaves with it."

Having enough of talking about himself, Dean looked up, knowing the man deserved eye contact if he was going to ask what he planned. "Who did you lose?"

"I'll tell you if you tell me," and that was all Steve had to say for him to get the point, this guy couldn't talk about his pain anymore than Dean could.

"Dean I brought you a sandwich, turkey, your favourite right?" a little voice said coming through the curtains making Steve wink at Dean.

_"Told you so,"_ he mouthed behind Sam as the kid set the tray down and took his seat once again by Dean's bed.

"Thanks Sammy."

Sam nodded, and all was forgiven.

"Well boys, I'm gonna go check on the other two, if I don't come back in 5 minutes, call for backup."

Sam giggled, and Dean did too...

**_SPN_**

"Hey, look who's awake," Steve cheered sarcastically as he lead John inside the little curtained room the boys still sat in.

"Haha, you almost passed out too," John snapped back as he sat himself down on a chair next to Dean's bed.

"The key word in that John being 'almost' and I had good reason, I was injured," Steve turned his nose up as he rubbed at the 3 small stitches in his head.

"Yeah well I'm injured too."

"Concussion VS tiny paper cut on your leg...no contest."

"Well then if you've got a concussion I think we better call that pretty nurse in here and-"

"Don't you even think about it or I'll kick your ass, and you will be injured then my friend."

"Are they always like this?" Dean mumbled to Sam watching the men banter, it was worse than he and Sam.

"Only when they're awake," Sam whispered back and smiled when it seemed Dean found his joke funny and laughed.

"Boys behave," Mary ordered coming in the room with a bag from the pharmacy.

"We weren't doing anything," Sam whined.

"I wasn't talking to you sweetie, I meant your father and Steve."

"But we were jut-"

"Ah! I don't wanna hear it, shush!" Mary snapped at her husband like she was talking to a 3 year old, and when the men pouted it looked like she was. "Dean honey you ready to go?" Mary smiling at him as he nodded, relieved he didn't have to stay here again.

Sam helped him get dressed from the hospital night gown into the sort of ruined clothes he arrived in, then John held him up as they all left in a tight huddle.

Looking up at the family smiling breezily at one another, he thought maybe life wasn't so bad…if this was who he was going to be spending it with…maybe now was his time to be happy.

"Dean bud? You okay? Kinda zoned out there for a second," John said as they got in the Impala after waving Steve goodbye.

"Yeah…I'm good, thanks."

"We're glad you are kiddo, we really are."

**_TBC…_**

Remember when I asked for ideas on what you would like the Winchesters to do as a family a bit ago? Well I need ideas again for the next story in this AU (if you want one that is!)

Anything you would like to see! Tell me! And I mean ANYTHING! It can be a big idea, a little note, a huge plot thing, a small event, even what age you would like to see the boys at next…_anything_, tell me, I'm all ears, I can't promise but I can try!


	37. Weep little lion man

**Back from Venice, reacquainted with my laptop **_***the crowed goes wild!***_** and back to writing like lightening with no stupid 100 year old computers in the way. Speaking of 100, how amazingly amazing was that epi...guh! I'm still in shock! That's all I'm going to say tonight, I'm tie tie...**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Weep little lion man **

"Well look who's up," Mary smiled when she saw Dean come from his room for the first time in 2 days.

"Hey," Dean sort of whispered, greetings were still an awkward time when Sam wasn't around.

But speaking of the devil, he must have been listening in and waiting at the top of the stairs because the next thing he knew, Sam was hopping down the steps with a smile plastered on his face.

"Happy Easter Dean!"

"Uh...Happy Easter?" Dean replied with a frown.

"Yeah, it's Easter today, you never had Easter?"

"Um, no not really since I could remember," Dean mumbled, he sounded ashamed, not to mention confused and that broke Mary's heart.

"Well, this year you are, so here's your eggs honey, enjoy," she smiled, handing Dean a good 3 bags full of Easter boxes.

"What's this?" he frowned, more like he was puzzled than offended.

"Chocolate Easter eggs, tradition, there's a few from John's distant relatives that have been coming the last few days to visit or sent via post, a couple from me and John and the really big one is from Steve."

And damn, it was big!

"I-I still don't get it," Dean stuttered looking down at the bags in his hand like they were alien, which to him, they really were.

"Dean sweetie, in this family, it's just what we do, kids your age usually get money by now but…we thought chocolate eggs would be more up your street."

"But why? Why am I getting things from people I've never even met? Or that have never met me?"

"Because that's just how this family works, John and I talk a lot about you two so it was only fitting you both got Easter eggs."

"But I can't take these, they don't even know me, they've never even seen me! If they did then-"

Before Dean could say something horrible about himself Mary butted in. "Sweetheart, listen to me," she cupped his cheek and only then noticed how worked up Dean was by the shakes she found. "Just accept them, you know what? Sammy hasn't even met most of John's side since he was a baby and they still send gifts on birthdays and Christmas, so you're both technically in the same boat there."

"But-"

She knew he was going to protest about the ones from Steve and she and John next. "It's not wrong to take gifts and enjoy them, I promise you you're doing nothing wrong by accepting these."

"It is if I don't deserve them."

"Dean why on earth would you think you don't deserve them?"

"Because-, because I just-, I just-, I can't, I'm sorry but I can't," Dean dropped the bags then ran up the steps and to his room, he didn't even care how much it hurt when he sunk to the floor on the opposite side of his bed hidden from the door. "Please just leave me alone," he pleaded when he knew it was Sam knocking, he had mastered that kid's knocks and footsteps the first week he got there.

It went silent again and he sunk his head down to his chest, wanting the world to just go away and let him wallow in self pity, but at the same time wanting nothing more than for someone to run in and give him a strong hug he could latch onto, so he could prove his dumb ass self wrong and feel safe again. Now his uncle was gone, there just seemed to be nothing left for him here, nothing to drive for, nothing to move forward to, he was just in a dead end space in time with no directions to save him from the whirlwind of misery, he was just nobody. As sick as it sounded, when he was hated by his uncle…at least he had a purpose….now, he just didn't matter anymore.

"I thought you might want some company," a small voice said before he took a seat next to Dean on the floor placing 5 bags on the floor in front of him.

"Thanks Sammy," Dean whispered, as he let the tears fall, the same tears Sam shrugged at and quietly didn't acknowledge.

"For what?"

"Not giving up on me," he answered remembering what Steve said the other day, okay so maybe he wasn't consciously doing the angry jerk thing anymore…now apparently he was doing the 'self loath I don't deserve to live' pity party, which wasn't working any better…only trouble this time, it wasn't an act.

"No problem," Sam smiled, and somehow things didn't seem too bad right here right now.

Abut half an hour later of mostly silence and mumbled apologies Sam managed to coax Dean into accepting just one of the eggs his parents bought deciding one of those would be best at first, at least Dean couldn't say they didn't know him with one of those. They had worked out a deal that when Dean ate that one, if he was still hungry, he could eat another, after not eating much for the last 3 days he was probably starving.

Turns out, Sam was a much better and wiser briber than Dean had anticipated, Sam had assured Dean that Easter eggs were just food, and you can't be guilty for eating food can you? Not even his uncle was that evil, so Dean could eat as many chocolate eggs as he wised without feeling bad, it was just food, sure it was bad for you, especially when you just got admitted to hospital and been asleep and resting for 2 days nonstop but who cares? If anyone deserved chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner, it was Dean.

Dean even laughed when Sam told him some old tales about his Nan, turns out she never bought Easter eggs, she was convinced a huge bar of chocolate was cheaper than the fancy eggs, and you got more chocolate for your money, she was crushed to learn that the weight of the eggs was a lot more VS the big bar.

"My nana ended the argument saying my mom's weighing scales were wrong," Sam snorted, taking another bite of what was technically Dean's egg, oh well, he could give one of his to Dean later, he still hadn't eaten many of his own, it just felt wrong eating them without Dean.

"So she's where you get your stubborn ass streak from," Dean joked.

"Hey I'm not stubborn!"

"Oh believe me Sam, _you are_."

"Jerk!"

"Bitch."

They laughed a little, then noticing how much better Dean was when he talked about everything but himself, Sam carried on.

"My nan came the other day when you were asleep, she's so loud…how you slept through it, I got no clue, she yelled at my dad for putting his plate on the side and not in the sink, it's so funny, my nan has to be the only person that scares him, its hilarious."

"So that's what the weird noise was, I thought you bought a lion or something as a pet."

"I think a lion would be tamer."

'_Okay I'm quickly running out of nonsense here!_' Sam thought to himself when that bit of joking ended.

"So um….you got any more family….that knows about me?"

"Besides a few that live on the other side of the country, not really, don't have any cousins or anything like that so…they send birthday money in the post or a card but not really, I know them about as well as you do. My uncle Steve is about the closest outside family we have and he's not really my uncle…but he just is."

"He's cool, better than my real one…then again that doesn't take much."

"Yeah…sorry Dean."

"For what?"

"Don't know, just am."

"Yeah me too."

Sam nodded, then grinned internally when he noticed something, Dean had finished his first Easter egg without any objections, sure he had eaten some but not much, and Dean was now reaching for another one without a word, almost nonchalantly.

"If we hurl before dinner, I'm blaming you."

"Fine with me."

_**SPN**_

They ate chocolate until way past dinner, but neither John nor Mary seemed to mind them skipping the 3 main meals of the day as long as they were okay.

They played a little snap seeing as Dean still couldn't move about too much and go to his usual hang out place by the punching bag but both boys got bored of that quickly too so they ended up turning in early.

When it reached 2am Dean was bored out of his skull staring at the ceiling, he just couldn't seem to sleep, not that he didn't want to, he just couldn't. 3am passed quickly and that's when he realised the ache in his stomach. Almost 4am, Dean couldn't take it anymore.

'_Ow ow ow ow ow!' _his bruises screamed at him, he knew he should have stayed in bed!

It took some time but he finally got himself down the steps and towards the room he needed.

He sighed when he got to the kitchen, he didn't think it was that dark at this time in here, that was going to cause a problem considering he had no clue what cupboard his pills were in, so much for telling them he could take them by himself.

The bruises weren't so bad now on his face, they just looked gross, it was the one on his chest that really hurt, it was swollen and purple and hurt when he breathed in too deep, he had learned to pant in situations like this though, a long time ago.

He decided to let his eyes get used to darkness first so he got himself a glass from the sink side and poured some water ever so quietly, the water being on just enough to not cause much noise, he could barely hear it, it was going to take a few minutes to fill his glass but oh well.

He took a step sideways, and cursed when the floor whined loudly, he knew that dead spot was there…why did he walk on it?!

_**SPN**_

John heard someone creak the floor boards on the floor below and sat up fast.

"John? What are you doing?" Mary asked, she could sleep through a hurricane but when the sheets were moved…she woke up!

"Someone's downstairs," he whispered getting out of bed, stepping over every creaking spot in his bedroom, no need to alert the trespasser was there?

"John?" he asked.

"I got this one covered."

She sighed, but did as she was subtly told, uuh, men!

John tip toed down the hall and rushed town the steps, it was pitch black but he could still see, the person's shadow being the first thing he noticed, in Mary's posh silver tray no less.

"Hey!" he yelled grabbing the intruder's left wrist and twisting him so he was pushed up against the back door and held there by his throat.

The person was panting, panicking like he'd never heard before, but when he heard a familiar whimper, he cursed the day he was born.

"Dean?" he asked, loosening his hands when he felt the kid tremble under him.

He heard the clear sobs the boy was trying to keep in and wanted to cry himself. He knew if he let go right now, Dean could push him off, he was strong enough that's for sure, he would most likely run for the door and when that didn't work he would take off for his bedroom, terrified and they would be back to square one.

"Dean," he sighed moving his right hand to the back of Dean's neck and letting go of the kid's wrist before pulling him to his chest and holding him tightly as he rubbed circles on his back before he could run anywhere. There was some wriggling and a few cries of fear but eventually Dean ended up sinking onto John so much he had to hold the boy up. "I'm sorry kiddo, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I thought you were somebody else, I'm so sorry."

He rocked Dean from side to side almost, until some of the shaking subsided.

"You okay kiddo?"

"S-s-so-rr-y," Dean practically choked as he finally pulled away.

"No, don't you dare say you're sorry, don't you dare Dean. Ah God…I'm so sorry buddy, I didn't mean to scare the crap outa you, I thought you were a burglar or something," he tried to joke with a forced chuckle but it wasn't working for either of them.

John let go of Dean completely and let the kid back up, he knew right then he had mucked up big time so he turned the light on and walked to the two tins on the windowsill, he emptied the one that had his name on and put both change and notes into Dean's, there wasn't much in either but it was the thought that counted.

When he looked back at Dean in the lights that now lit the room, he bit his lip when he saw tears Dean was trying to hide, or maybe it was just too bright in here now…no, probably not.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked taking a seat at the kitchen table, thankful when Dean sat down too at the opposite end.

Dean nodded and kept his head low.

"Talk to me? What were you looking for?" John tried to ask casually.

"Um…nothing, thirsty," he mumbled guiding his eyes towards the glass on the side.

John leaned over and grabbed the glass then placed it in front of the kid, crushed almost when Dean didn't move to have a drink, then something dawned on him, the way Dean was holding himself, the sounds of his breathing, the lines on his face.

"You looking for those pills the hospital gave you?" he asked already knowing the answer as he stood and got them from the very top cupboard. He tipped two out into his hand and placed them in front of Dean next to the glass of water and suppressed a sigh when Dean turned a shade of red, and it wasn't the good kind. "Dean**,** kid?" he asked taking his seat one again.

Dean looked up and the hurting in his eyes was heartbreaking.

"You don't have to be ashamed of being in pain and wanting something to help you," John wasn't just talking about the pills.

Dean nodded and pushed the pills between his tight lips then washed them down with water before going still again.

"Come on, let's get outa here," John said out of the blue standing from his seat.

"N-no…um…I'll just…go back to bed."

"Are you actually going to go back to sleep or are you gonna be staring at the ceiling for the next 5 hours?"

Both of them already knew the answer.

"Come on, let's go for a drive, I'll be right back."

John patted Dean on the shoulder then left to go back to his room for a second, he told Mary what was going on then pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweat shirt**.**

"Be careful," Mary said before she got a kiss then laid back down to go back to sleep, John had Dean covered, she was sure of it.

"Night babe," John whispered before leaving the room so his wife could sleep, he hummed then picked up Dean's jacket from the top of the stairs. "Here, don't want Mary killing me for letting you catch a cold," he said to Dean as he handed him his jacket.

Dean frowned, shook his head and placed it back on the banister rail, John didn't have a jacket on.

"Please?" he pleaded trying to use the puppy eyes he once had. It must have worked because Dean huffed then took the jacket back. John was the one to make him put it over his shoulders but still.

"Where are we going?" Dean asked cringing when he sounded like a little kid as he made his way to the passenger seat, only getting in when John got in the driver's side.

"Wanna get some ice cream?" John suggested as he started up the engine.

"It's 4am," Dean frowned.

"Yeah so? There's the 24/7 open, might be gross but it's ice cream."

Dean nodded, it sounded okay he guessed.

_**SPN**_

"How come we're here?" Dean asked as he finished licking his ice cream John had got him.

"What do you mean?" John asked wiping his fingers from the sticky ice cream with a tissue.

Dean shrugged, he looked a little nervous.

"Come on, ask away," John pushed.

"Who goes for a drive and ice cream at 4 in the morning?"

"Well, Sammy as you know has trouble with nightmares and when he was little, going for a drive and ice cream at ridiculous times in the night used to be the only way to get him back to sleep."

"Oh…well…thanks."

"For?"

"I dunno…trying to see if it would work on me or something."

"So this isn't working on you?" _'Worth a try right?'_

"Not really tired anymore I guess…and you said Sammy could sleep anywhere, I can't."

"Suppose, so, speaking of, what do you think you and Sammy are gonna get up to this Easter break?"

Dean shrugged as John took the wrapper from him and handed him a tissue which he wiped his hands on, it wasn't working though, the tissue just sort of stuck to his fingers.

John pulled away from the 24 hour store and looked over at Dean as he kept his other eye on the road. "I know half of the holiday is over but there's still a week left, if you're up for it, we can go watch a ball game or something."

"Uh…okay, I mean...where ever you or Sam wants to go it's fine, I don't mind."

"Well we chose last time we went out, how about this time you choose?"

Dean merely shrugged again.

"Sorry," he whispered when he saw the expression John got on his face.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't be kiddo, you don't have to be okay?"

Dean nodded, but John was kind of disappointed to see it was just one of those agreeing nods, not an actual 'yes I know' nod like he wanted.

"So, what's on your mind kiddo, anything you wanna tell me?"

After what felt like forever, Dean finally parted his lips again to speak.

"Once a month," Dean mumbled.

"What?" John asked.

"You've been wondering how often my uncle used to beat me to the ground, well it was only once a month at most."

"Dean-"

"He only did it if he was really drunk. About once a month he used to just get really mad randomly and leave for a few hours, when he got back he stunk of a bar, he used to…he'd yell at first, no matter what I tried to do or say he always used to beat me until I cried or begged him to stop so I just learned to stop talking until he wanted me to beg." John guessed that's why Dean didn't or doesn't talk much to adults. "But I only ended up in the hospital twice, once for a broken wrist and another time because one of my marks got infected and I got sick…he took me there and waited for me and everything."

"Dean you don't have to defend him, he was wrong to do those things to you whether he did it once a month or once a year, no matter how long he waited in a hospital for you, he was wrong."

"But he waited for me for 4 hours, he could have taken off but he didn't."

John chose that moment to pull over and cut Dean off."Dean, I want you to look at me, and listen to me," he said carefully turning to face the boy who had tears in his eyes. "Your uncle was a sick and twisted man, he shouldn't have done those things, nobody should do the things he did to you, nobody. He was wrong, I don't care what you think you did to deserve it but I'm telling you that none of this was your fault. You're a good kid Dean, you're a really good kid, I'm sorry if you think I'm over stepping here but I'm pretty sure your parents wouldn't have wanted that for you."

"You never even knew them!"

"No but I am a parent, I know that if something happened to myself and Mary I wouldn't want anyone to hurt Sammy, I know you wouldn't either."

Dean nodded, he could kind of understand that metaphor.

"Dean, you can talk to me you know..."

Dean nodded once more, he didn't meet John's eyes, but he prepared himself to speak once again, he wasn't sure why he was telling John this but he just couldn't keep it in any longer, it was eating him alive, his uncle's memories were ready to swallow him whole.

"W-when we left…the h-hospital he said he only waited because he needed to teach me how to be man and suck it up next time, and he needed someone for bait…he said that was the only thing I was worth…after that it started to take less time at the bar for him to be that angry…he wasn't as drunk…it started to get twice a month…the last time when he picked me up from your house…he didn't even drink at all…I-I thought I was gonna die.

John placed a hand on Dean's shoulder but quickly took it away when the boy flinched.

"I thought he realised that when I was gone for those 2 weeks that he didn't need me as bait after all and he could just get rid of me…he wanted to kill me, what did I do to make him hate me so much? I got no clue…I tried to say sorry but he just….he wouldn't stop…he wouldn't tell me how to make things better….he just kept kicking me and calling me names and I just don't know what to do anymore I'm sorry but I just don't know what to do now he's gone and he can't tell me how to make it right…"

John couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't just sit there and watch Dean rip himself to shreds. He opened his car door and ran round to the passenger side where he pulled Dean's handle. He didn't wait to see if it was okay by Dean, he just twisted the kid around and pulled his head to his shoulder where he let him sob, his neck getting soaked in tears.

"Ssshhh ssshhh, it's okay, it's okay. I know, I know Dean, it's gonna be okay, we're never gonna hurt you okay? Nobody is ever going to hurt you like that again or so help me god I'll tear them a new one. I got your back Dean, we all do, you're never going to be put through that again for as long as I'm living. Sshh sshh it's okay."

Luckily it was still about half 4 in the morning so there wasn't many cars on the road which meant they could stay there for another hour at least.

Dean had finally stopped sobbing a good 10 minutes later but he had yet to move from his uncomfortable position hanging half way out of the car buried in John's neck, so _he_ was the first to break contact and pull from the shaking boy.

"Look at me," and Dean did as John wiped the traces of tears still left behind, "I don't know why your uncle thought he had the right to hate you but he didn't. You don't have to apologize for anything Dean, bad things just happen okay? It sucks but that's just how it is, you don't have to be sorry for going through bad things though, you don't Dean. This is gonna be hard I know but we're all here for you, we all care about you."

Dean ran a hand under his dripping nose as he sat back straight and re-adjusted the jacket on his shoulders.

"And one more thing, we are never, and I mean _never_ going to hurt you in that way, not me, not Mary not anybody."

Dean again nodded, and hoped that was true.

"If they do, come tell me and I'll hold them down while you get a few good punches in, what do you say?"

"Okay," Dean snorted, his mouth curling up until it finally reached his eyes.

"Now come on let's head back home, there's a film on I really need to see."

"What is it?"

"One with John Wayne."

Dean chuckled.

"Unfortunately, they only ever show the classics at 5 in the morning."

"Okay…I'm in."

John nodded, ruffled the kid's hair a little then closed Dean's door and went back round to his side where he sat and started the engine up again and pulled away from the side of the road.

They were a few minutes from home and John looked over, Dean was sleeping like a baby.

'_Works every time.'_

_**TBC…**_

**Uh, I loved going for rides at night time and falling asleep, now I'm pretty sure I'm too fat to be carried from my sleeping place in the car to my bed haha! Now I'm off to watch Friends, it's the one where Mon and Chan get married :D love that epi! **_***yawn...***_** nighty night........**


	38. All you wanted, all I needed

**Okay, before you read this, just know, I don't know SQUAT about fostering and adoption and how any of it works, one day I hope to when I adopt but as of now, I don't, so I went with my teeny tiny bit of knowledge I got from a bad soap opera the other day for this chapter, but come on give me a break, I'm 17! Soon to be 18 hehe! **

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**All you wanted, all I needed**

Dean yawned awake, rather loudly too, then he saw where he was and his mind spun back to the events last night. _'How did I get here?' _he asked himself looking around the bedroom. He wondered what time it was, how late he had gotten up this time, then when he heard rustling from the side of his bed he thought it couldn't be that late, Sam was still fast on down on the floor.

Dean couldn't help but smile and hide his laughter at the sight, Sam looked about 4 right now, his hair over his eyes, curled in ball, his hands hugging his pillow snoring away.

It was like a month later and Sam still slept in the same room as him. Now Dean thought about, it was probably weird, not that he knew what age brothers or whatever they were slept like in other homes but still.

It was just kind of routine for them now, they would hang around in the day, even though right now he had to 'rest' and then when night time came they just both went to bed at similar times, neither of them noticing anything out of the ordinary about the fact that Sam had a perfectly good bedroom down the hall that he never slept in. But they did seem to unconsciously take turns on the floor, only when Sam woke up with some sort of nightmare did they end up staying up in the same bed muttering about nonsense till they fell asleep.

Dean guessed Sam slept though his freak out with John downstairs, or at least he hoped so, that would be embarrassing! He was going to plead temporary insanity if it ever came up.

"Dean?"

Dean looked down and smiled nervously.

"What?" Sam asked when Dean looked at him weird.

Dean shook his head as if to say 'nothing.'

Sam nodded, then brushed the mop from his face and flattened it somewhat making himself presentable for breakfast.

"Let's go," Dean said overly chipper making Sam really think something was up, but he said nothing as he followed when Dean jumped from bed and out the room to go downstairs.

He still said nothing when Dean said hello to his parents on the same creepy happy voice and sat down next to his dad of all people eating the food Mary set down for them both. What was even weirder was Dean took both sets of his pills without any moaning or attempts to not take them, John had always caught him sure but Dean had been trying to dispose of his pills in the morning in front of everyone like it made him weak by taking them with them watching, how Dean taking them in the afternoon in the privacy of his bedroom was any different he would never know.

"So you boys get a good night's sleep?" John asked casually reading the newspaper when it was ripped from his hands.

"Okay now I know something's up, since when do you ask about sleep?" Sam asked dropping the newspaper and his spoon in his bowl telling them all he wasn't going to eat until they told him why they were all acting so strange.

"Nothing," Dean said but it wasn't his usual 'nothing' when Dean got mad and snapped at him for butting in, this was a happy cheery nothing that even Mary was frowning at.

"Dad what's going on?"

"Nothing Sammy-" John tried, it seemed with how and when and who he tells certain things to, maybe Dean didn't want to tell each of them particular things, he was going to respect that for his foster son's sake.

"I'll tell you later," Dean said shrugging, giving a silent 'thank you, but it's okay, I'm okay,' nod to John.

"Oh, it's okay," Sam mumbled back when he realised, maybe this wasn't something they wanted him to know.

"Okay kids listen up, we weren't sure if we should talk about this to you separately but...we need to talk to you," Mary said out of the blue after a few awkward moments until they went back to eating.

The boys looked up at Mary and Dean shuffled his feet nervously as he looked back down to his now empty bowl, what was it about looking at these people in the eye that was so difficult?!

"Dean honey we got a letter today about you."

Dean gulped in fear, "am I gonna like it?" he asked crossing his toes together praying hard for it to be good news.

"Well, we don't know," John said in all honesty.

Dean stayed silent and tried his best not to let his emotions and panic get the better of him, when he felt Sam put a hand on his shoulder he knew he wasn't doing a good job.

"The foster _thing_ we took out for you when you were first in the hospital...the contract said that your soul remaining 'guardian' _for the lack of a better term_, was currently unable to look after you because he was in jail, so because of that we got to take you in temporarily until his trial, then after that the social services would decide where you would go next and for how long, you with me so far?" Mary asked gently knowing even she didn't get half of this foster rule stuff.

Dean nodded and held his breath when they all inched in closer, with most people if they got as close as the three of them were right now, he could flip out, hell...the only time anyone was close when he was with his uncle, was to hurt him, but for some reason he didn't feel that with them, he felt like they were close by for support.

"Well since he _died_ that no longer stands because the situation has changed, because there will be no trial and so on...basically your foster papers are out of date."

"S-so what's gonna happen to me?"

"Well..."

"N-no I'm not going in foster home! I'm not! Please...just...don't tell them, tell them I ran away," Dean was shaking and tears of confusion and pain ran down his face.

"Sshh Dean, sssh...you're not going in a foster home, we wouldn't let that happen to you I promise, what we're asking is, we'd like to adopt you, permanently if that's okay with you. If not then we can always-"

"O-okay," Dean nodded with a stream of tears down his face that he didn't wipe away angrily; he sounded like a scared little boy in need of safety and stability and to be quite frank, he didn't really care at this point who saw him in his messed up state.

'_That was easier than I thought,'_ Mary thought as she smiled at the broken boy they were putting back together just slowly.

She was perfectly happy with that answer but John seemed to be a little hesitant still. "Dean this is a big thing kiddo, it's not just a contract saying you can stay under our roof, it means we'd be your parents for good."

"Yeah, I know," Dean nodded this time with more confidence in his words.

"You'd be a Winchester," John reminded.

"Yeah...and...I'm cool with that," Dean shrugged.

"Well then so are we."

Sam was just about to cheer in pure joy when Dean opened his mouth to speak again. "Uh...can I um...say something?"

"Sure sweetheart, what's on your mind?" Mary smiled.

"Um..." Dean swallowed what felt like his tongue then tapped his foot trying to find the right words. "You're the first people I've m-met in like 7 years that don't laugh in my face or use me as their personal stress ball...and...I just...you didn't have to let me in here and eat your food and sleep here but you did and...I don't know how to say thank you...and I'm sorry-"

"_Sorry_? Dean honey-" Mary sighed, Dean was going to say something horrible about himself again wasn't he?

"Just hear me out? Please?" he pleaded so John and Mary nodded for him to carry on. "I've yelled at you guys and hit you and messed up your normal happy lives and you're still the nicest people I've ever met. I'm sorry for being an ass...you thought I was an arrogant dick and a _danger_ I guess to Sam when I came here and you still let me stay. So I....I swear I'll do my best not to make you guys regret doing all those things for me. I'll do good, I promise."

"Dean baby, you are so welcome. And...you're already good."

Dean nodded then laughed off his crying as Sam handed him a tissue.

"How about we all go out for an hour before that guy comes?"

"What guy?" Sam asked before anyone else could.

"Well...with everything that happened these past few weeks, we've been ignoring social services calls so they're sending a guy round today to...see if Dean's still alive I guess."

Dean didn't seem to like that idea.

"Don't worry, we'll all be here watching your back," John promised giving Dean a wink.

"If the guy's a douche...can I hit him?"

"_No_!"

_**SPN**_

They went out for a wander round the local park and Dean tried everything to put off going back home for CPS coming. He tried dragging Sam to play 'who can run the fastest the furthest away from the parents', he tried dropping his ice cream and attempting a kid tantrum demanding another one. He tried grabbing a stick for a homeless dog to catch and when he was told "we have to go now," Dean played the "just one more throw," and after about 10 more, John grabbed the stick from him and tossed it so far the dog would be occupied for hours.

"Dean we're leaving _now_."

When he got the stern father look from John, that is when Dean gave up, he dragged his feet and followed the others back to the house with a face like thunder ignoring Sam as he tried to cheer him up. Sure it wasn't the most mature approach to the new start in his life but he really didn't like the sound of a guy coming to interview him. He thought adoption would be just like how they fostered him the first time, he didn't have to do anything then, it just kinda happened and was all ready for him when he woke up to go home with them.

"Dean it'll be fine," Sam tried but the puppy eyes just weren't working today.

John was about to order Dean in the house when the kid came to a grinding halt by their drive way, he stopped himself when he saw how worked up Dean was.

"What if I say something stupid and the guy thinks I'm not fit to stay here or something."

"It doesn't work like that Dean," '_I hope.'_ "He just wants to come here and take a look around, ask you a few questions, he'll probably just ask if you're happy here and if you say yes then he'll leave."

"But-"

"Ah, no buts, it's gonna be fine, just relax," John nodded Sam and Mary inside the house as he practically pulled Dean to the front door.

"Easy for you to say," Dean mumbled. "Sorry," he forced when he knew he was being a brat.

"Don't worry about it kiddo, I think you've earned the right to be stroppy by now."

"John coffee?" Mary yelled from the kitchen as the boys sat down on the sofa by John.

"Yeah please Mar," he hollered back then looked at the boys, when they shook their heads for no thank you he sat back and waited for a knock at the door, he forced himself to hide his sweaty palms, unbeknownst to the kids, he and Mary were probably more anxious than them.

_**SPN**_

"So it says here your birth parents died when you were 7?" the suited gray haired dude asked Dean, who was doing his best not to scream right now, they told him they would be there..._Mr. Harrison_ had made them step out of the room the second he got there to question Dean.

Dean nodded, he hated talking about his parents to anyone, why did he have to tell this guy? He obviously knew.

"Could you speak for the tape please?" he asked motioning to the recorder on the table.

Dean again shook his head.

"Let the record show Dean shook his head 'yes' to the previous question about his birth parents' death."

'_Now can I kill him?'_ he smirked to himself when he could hear John and Mary warning him no again inside his head.

"How did they die?" the guy asked, this time he sounded like he was trying to be a good listener like a therapist or something.

"Robbery," Dean lied just like he'd been taught, detaching himself from his emotions for these questions.

"And since then you lived with your uncle travelling the country?"

"Yes."

"And he started abusing you by means of mental and physical?"

"I guess," Dean shrugged, he didn't exactly take note or know the names for the types of abuse.

"What was that like?"

"Like a vacation. What the hell do you think it was like?" Dean hissed, resisting the urge to slam his fist on the table.

"Please note that Dean was then making a sarcastic comment," Mr. Harrison said into the voice recorder before he looked at some more notes. "Now about the Winchesters."

"They're great," Dean answered quickly before he moved around in his chair a little, the aspirin he took this morning was starting to wear off, this guy making him mad wasn't helping and he had no clue how to ask for a toilet break with this guy, it was on tape for crying out loud!

He guided his hand under his shirt and pressed a finger into his side where it hurt, he grunted when it just made it worse.

"Is the chair uncomfortable?"

"No, I am," Dean answered flatly, it was supposed to be a jab at his uncomfortable situation, not his physical discomfort and he cursed himself when the guy seemed to notice he was now holding his side.

He dropped his hand and tried to look like he was interested in the notes and the rest of the guy's questions.

"It says here you were recently admitted into hospital."

"Yeah, which time?" Dean blurted out sarcastically without thinking, he turned a pale shade of white when the guy seemed to pick up on something he was obviously taking the wrong way.

"I've been in this job for a long time now, I know the signs of abuse when I see it, are the Winchesters hurting you Dean?"

"What?!"

"Dean it's not uncommon for foster parents to abuse-"

"You son of a bitch!" Dean yelled, his voice so sharp you could cut glass with it as he slammed both fists to the table and stood so quick he knocked his chair over causing the guy to jump at the bang it caused on the floor.

'_I'm gonna kill this dick!'_

_**SPN**_

"He's gonna be fine Sammy, we're not moving from this door okay?" John reassured as they all stood outside the kitchen door listening in.

"What if that guy upsets Dean and he gets mad?"

"We'll be here to calm him down if that does happen."

"Yeah but what if the guy thinks Dean should be taken away then cos you and mom can't handle him or something?"

"Sam that's not gonna happen baby."

"How do you know?"

'_Good question...how is it that my baby always finds questions I can't answer?'_

Sam went back to pacing the space in the living room waiting for Dean to be done, hopefully without him losing it in the mean time, he really felt weird thinking it but he really felt like he needed Dean now he'd known what it was to have a brother, not just an older one to look out for him, but one he could look out for too.

"_Could you speak for the tape please?" _

John sighed when he heard, he wanted nothing more than to be there for the kid needing them right now, surely just one of them, even Sam could be there with Dean, _'but noooo, too much of a risk of Dean saying what he thought we wanted to hear.'_

"_Let the record show Dean shook his head 'yes' to the previous question about his birth parents' death."_

"Poor kid, sounds like Dean's not up to talking today."

"Can you blame him?" Mary asked from the couch where she was just as twitchy as her husband with his ear to the door.

"No," John sighed then walked over to sit with his wife letting Sam go to eavesdrop in his place. "He told me this morning that...he'd taught himself to just speak when his uncle wanted him to beg...god if that dick was still a ghost I could just ring his head off all over again!" John hissed under his breath, his tone harsh so Mary knew how angry he was but his volume low so the CPS guy didn't hear.

"_How did they die?"_

"He's asking Dean about his parents."

"Oh well..." Mary sighed putting her head in her hands, Dean was either going to break down in sobs or hit the man anytime soon if that was the case, Dean hadn't even talked about his parents to them yet.

"_Robbery."_

"He sounds okay."

"Really?" John asked his son in hope, it was crushed when Sam shrugged a 'no, not really.'

John sighed then stood back to the door, maybe Mary didn't want to but _he_ needed to hear.

"_And he started abusing you by means of mental and physical?"_

"_I guess__."_

"_What was that like?"_

"_Like a vacation. What the hell do you think it was like?"_

"He knows how to handle himself I can say that," John smirked rather proudly of Dean's anger, anger he could deal with today, more of Dean being chipped away, not so much. "Oh...hang on...."

"_Now about the Winchesters."_

"_They're great."_

"We owe the kid a dog after this," John smiled, he hoped that homeless pup from earlier was still around when this was done with, it wasn't illegal to take in strays for a newly adopted kid right?

"Dad shush I'm trying to hear," Sam whispered from the floor where he was now sat with his right ear practically in the door crack.

"_It says here you were recently admitted into hospital."_

"_Yeah, which time?"_

"Oh I hope this guy isn't going where I think he's going."

"_I've been in this job for a long time now, I know the signs of abuse when I see it, are the Winchesters hurting you Dean?"_

"_What?!"_

"_Dean it's not uncommon for foster parents to abuse-"_

John suppressed a growl and opened the door as quickly as he could, he either had to save Dean from more pain or the guy from Dean....he hoped it wasn't the first one.

"You son of a bitch!"

"Whoa whoa Dean, Dean whoa it's okay, it's okay, we're here, it's okay..." John chanted, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist holding him steady so he couldn't go hurt himself.

"He...he said..." Dean was gasping for breath, he was panicking in fear, not anger, that's for sure.

With one arm still holding him up, John handed Dean the pills Sam had just gotten for him and held the glass for the kid who couldn't hold it for himself right now with his shaking.

"I know, I know, he's sorry, right?" he asked the guy as he held onto Dean.

"Yes, yeah I'm...I apologize-"

"H-he...n-no please please don't make me go there please I don't please..." Dean pleaded in front of them all.

"Dean baby come here," Mary cooed holding her arms out and luckily Dean dived into them needing to know he couldn't be taken from them and vice versa. "It's okay, it's okay ssshh."

"You can't take Dean away from us! My mom and dad never hit him ever! Leave us alone!" Sam yelled pushing the guy back into the table.

"Sam stop it!" John ordered and thanked the lord when Sam jumped into his mother's arms by Dean. "Mary why don't you take the boys upstairs," John suggested so Mary nodded and pulled both boys with her outside and to her bedroom.

"Mom you can't let him take Dean! He's family!" Sam cried when his mom shut the door behind them.

"I know honey, and he won't, we'll just let your father sort it out okay? Everything will be fine boys."

"But...you can't keep helping me out, changing your day just to...it's just too much, I-I..."

"Haven't we talked about this? You are not living on your own, you're stuck with us now. Sammy's right, you're family."

"But-"

"And that word is officially banned from this house."

Sam smiled at Dean who was now really confused and didn't really know what to make of anything, but that was okay...they were still together right?

"I don't hear any yelling so, it can't be too bad unless John's killed him."

Dean's face paled at that.

"We might have to go into hiding anyway," Sam snorted as Dean's color came back when he realised it was a joke.

They heard footsteps on the stairs and it was so silent in the room that a pin drop could be heard. John then walked into the bedroom, the expression on his face was either good...or really really bad.

"So?" Mary asked first, moving to the bed and holding both boys' hands.

_**SPN**_

"What did you say to my son?" John asked when the others left.

"Son?" _'I never spoke to his son, besides getting attacked by him that is, not that's its a new thing in my job.'_

"Yeah you know, Dean!"

'_Oh, well that's a good start, referring to Dean as your son, not bad.'_ "I'm sorry sir, I made a serious accusation...but...I think I've seen all I need to see."

"What is that supposed to mean? We've never laid a hand on that boy."

"He's been admitted to hospital 3 times since he's been in your care and once for a cut and bruise when he went to your work."

"Yeah, the first two were his uncle, the cut and bruise was from when he visited me at my garage and one of my guys said something and upset him and he lost it, much like you did just then, and the last one was an accident if you had bothered to read up on that, you can ask Officer Steve Ward if you want, he was the witness, it was his home that Dean got hurt in too."

"It just seems to me that you aren't able to keep him from accidents and tantrums in which he hurts himself."

"I'm sorry, but were you just here when my wife calmed him down from the 'tantrum' you caused? It _seems_ to me we're doing a pretty good job at looking after him considering there is no manual on how to raise an abused child."

"Yes I can see that but-"

"_But_ what? Dean is broken and twisted in more ways than you will ever know and sure it's hard work sometimes but we're trying to get him there. But we know it's hard, and we know he's gonna have some bad days but we haven't given up on him yet no matter how many tantrums or punches or break downs he has."

"That's all well and good Mr Winchester but there are other families out there better suited for a child like Dean."

"Okay, I get that. You might be able to find another set of parents that know how to handle him better, what tools and methods to use when he gets mad on some days but you know who you won't find another _better_ version of?"

Mr. Harrison looked at him, waiting for the answer.

"Sam, he's made the biggest impact on that boy and you will never be able to help Dean be normal and come back from his past without Sammy around, so if you wanna turn us down and take Dean away to a foster home that's already too full be my guest, but you'll only be destroying 2 young boys at the end of it, and to me, that's what all this is about isn't it? Making sure Dean's happy, making sure every child involved in this comes out the other end in one piece, and they will be if you let Dean stay here with us for good."

Mr. Harrison got worried when John suddenly left the room, his worry was over taken by confusion when he saw what John had in his hand.

"You've seen my car out there right?" John asked so he nodded. "Well just a couple of weeks ago, Dean had his first wood works lesson, this is what he made in one morning, for us."

John handed over the replica of his car to the man and took it back when he only frowned further.

_"__**Ubi mei, ibi amor," **_John said looking underneath where it was written before showing the guy. "He wrote it on the bottom, it's Latin, it means '_where my loved ones are, there is home.'_ He probably doesn't know that I can speak Latin but I think it's a pretty amazing gesture of a kid his age and what he's been through, a gift like this speaks for itself doesn't it?"

'_Okay, maybe I miss judged this family and Dean's relationship with them...they seem loving, the mother did that's for sure however that doesn't mean the father is always the same but...I think maybe he just is. He thinks highly of them all anyway, and in a strong family, that is always a need. '_

"I'd have to schedule regular visits, make sure you are caring for Dean in the best way."

"Fine."

"And I'll recommend Dean to visit therapy sessions once a week for his anger."

"If you think that'll help," _'cause I sure as hell don't,'_ "then fine, deal."

"I need to speak with Dean just one more time."

"You can if the rest of us are present."

"Is that a threat?" _'I better not be regretting this...'_

"No, just a promise to protect Dean the best I can."

Mr. Harris knew it was a type of blackmail but he nodded anyway, it was for the benefit of his family so that was a good thing.

John nodded back then left the room and went up the steps almost passing out half way, god talking to CPS monkeys was hard work!

"So?" he heard his wife ask as she sat on the bed with the boys.

"He wants to speak to Dean."

Dean tightened his jaw.

"I swear to you we'll be there this time," John promised as they all made their way back down to the kitchen.

"Dean?" Mr Harrison asked so Dean stepped forward hiding his shaking hands behind his back so only the Winchesters could see. "Do you want to stay here?"

"Yeah..." but the man didn't seem so convinced.

"Dean do you want the Winchesters to adopt you permanently?" _'I need him to say it...I need him to tell me how badly he wants to stay here! Please kid say it! Please...'_

"M-more than anything," Dean nodded biting his cheek to stop another rush of tears coming to the surface.

'_Bingo!' _Mr. Harrison suppressed a grin, remained professional as he flipped through his file and took out 2 of the most important sheets he carried. "Can you sign here, and you sign here?" he handed Dean then Mary and John separate sheets of paper.

Dean signed his and the adults signed theirs.

"Someone will come by in a couple of days for more paper work and more meetings but...I've given my approval."

"What does he mean?" Sam asked, whispering up to his mother.

"Does that mean you'll let us adopt Dean?" John asked placing a hand on both his sons' shoulders.

"It does."

"Haha!" John laughed patting the shoulders in front of him as they all smiled.

"Thank you," Dean mumbled towards the guy as much as he hated to, he had to be polite right?

Knowing the signs of a family wanting to celebrate Mr. Harrison cleared his throat. "I best be going, I'll get these filed and call you later."

"Thank you, bye," the guy was okay enough but John just couldn't wait for him to leave! He walked him to the door and closed it with a smile.

When he got back to the kitchen, he felt like the luckiest guy in the world, both boys in the arms of their mother, happier than he had seen them in a long time.

"So, looks like we'll be needing to swap rooms then huh Mary?" John grinned as Sam left Mary' arms and leaned onto him.

"What are you talking about?" Dean stood up straight and didn't complain when Mary's arms still held him.

"You boys can't keep sleeping on the floor, and Dean's room isn't big enough for 2 beds."

"So we get yours and mom's room?!" Sam yelled jumping up and down in excitement.

"If you boys want...we can go out and buy some paint? Nothing better to do today."

"Hey what's wrong with how it is?" Mary squeaked as they left the house one after another.

"Come on Mary, cream and gold flowers doesn't really say bad ass boys bedroom does it?" John asked locking house up and opening the car for them all.

"You boys better pick something tasteful at least."

"Green?" Sam grinned.

"Ew no!" Dean turned his nose up as he looked at Mary and John laughing at them from the front seat.

"Oh come on! Green rules!"

"Green is a color that is reserved for up your nose, what about red? Everyone loves red?"

"I don't, it's like a vampire!"

"Exactly, come on you gotta admit you had a thing for that chick back when."

"What chick?" both adults asked, warning them to answer correctly.

"Dean! Uh you jerk!" Sam whined, he really didn't want a trip down memory lane, his parents would kill him, and confiscate Dean's machete.

"Bitch!" Dean answered back.

"Doofas!"

"Snot brain!"

"Snot nose!"

"Good come back Shaggy."

"Even better come back Buzz Lightyear!"

"_Boys_."

"What? He started it!" Dean whined...wondering how far he could go with this, John said he had to the right to be stroppy.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Shut up butt face." Sam mumbled.

"You shut up boob face!" Dean laughed without guilt, for the first time since he got here, thinking, no scratch that, knowing it was okay to make jokes…be himself, be happy, be the Dean his parents raised him to be.

"Boys!" okay maybe not that much.

'_Wonder how long the grounding rules are for sarcasm?'_

_**The End.**_

**Okay, usually I'm happy, kind of relieved when a story ends...this one, I'm just sad and nervous! **

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING FEEL SO PROUD OF ME AND US AND EVERYONE IN THIS STORY! I'VE NEVER HAD SO MANY REVIEWS PER CHAPTER AND I'M STILL SPEECHLESS HOW MUCH RESPONSE THIS GOT...I LOVE ALL YA'LL!!! **

**Please come back for the next one, it's gonna be called '**_**Post Blue'**_** most likely, yes, another Placebo song, I'm obsessed! **

**I'm going to finish my other WIP story Never be the Same before I do anything else though. And I have a new story, it's a broken Sam fic, he get's taken and when Dean finds him again he is a broken shell and doesn't understand any part of the world around him. Well, all but Dean. Interested? I know most of you guys are hurt Dean lovers though so...we'll see, if I ever do anything else with it, may not, don't know. **

**THANKS ALL MY LOVELY AMAZING PEOPLES! **


	39. sequel now up!

**NEWS! Sequel now up!  
**

**Bruised verse: Post Blue**

_**Summary: **_ Sequel to Bruise Pristine. It's been almost two years since the Winchester's decided to adopt Dean. Now should be the time for them to be a happy normal family, but Dean's old life may make that dream impossible.

**Badass Beta/Awesome Editor- Samanatha V **

**Enjoy guys x mwah x  
**


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